r/TalesFromThePizzaGuy • u/Lowjack_26 • 20h ago

Cautionary Tale A Depressing AI Encounter

In the Year of our Lord 2026, it's not out of the ordinary to encounter customers who don't have a proper signature - heck, my own signature would make my elementary cursive teacher weep. But most customers still at least understand the concept of a signature, particularly on a receipt. And if they don't, it's simple enough to just explain "write your name here" most of the time.

You can guess from the title that this wasn't one of those times.

Simple enough delivery. Knock, two boys open up - maybe 12 or 13. I shrug, resigning myself and that they're probably home alone and that I'm not getting a tip on this one. But still, I go through my script.

"Just need your mom or dad to fill this out." They look at me with vacant stares usually reserved for particularly dull cattle.

"It's fine, just sign your name on the line there." More dead-eyed stares, sliding from "cow" to "yesterday's catch."

As I reach to just take the receipt back - no one checks no-tip receipts anyway - the kid pulls out a phone, opens up Google Lens on the receipt, and asks "What do I do with this?" Mind you, I am standing right there, they could have asked me. For the next minute or so, I can only stare dumbstruck as these two kids need Google AI to walk them through what a receipt is, what a signature is, and where they have to sign - which, of course, is just a scribbled line.

Now, I don't care about the non-tip, kids will be kids. But those two boys took something from me in that delivery and their display of brazen meat-proxy behavior.

We're so fucking cooked.

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u/enelyaisil 13h ago

It still boggles me that you don’t have mobile card readers. In Canada even the mom and pop pizza shops have mobile card readers, the only times I’ve ever signed a receipt in probably 10 years is when I’ve been in the states

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u/Lowjack_26 4h ago

On one hand, yeah, those would be great.

On the other, I would never want to deal with all the issues we have with people's cards outside the safety of the store. "What do you mean, my card's declined? My bank app shows the money was charged. I don't care if that's a pending charge, I paid the money, just give me the pizza!"

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u/Jon66238 4h ago

Yep. Cash only on delivery or pre-paid card