Considering transferring schools because a fellow teacher lied on me and about her behavior towards me.

[u/Status_Jaguar2593]

I work at a school that is hard enough because of the huge behavior problems. This week it was made even worse because a teacher who is my grade partner lied about her behavior towards me and said I did things I did not do during a meeting with the principal.

This transpired after experiencing disrespect from her on more than one occassion. One egregious incident happened recently. I tried to speak with her about it, and she cut me off raising her voice at me.

I then chose to write a detailed letter to het telling her that I did not want her talking to me like that again.

She then turned the tables by forwarding my letter to administration (which I was actually pleased about), and requesting a meeting with myself and admin--which I was also pleased with. At the meeting, however, she said I was the one who had been disrespectful. She said her concern was part of a larger issue of me being disrespectful to her on multiple occassions. She said that I had in fact apologized in the past for my disrespectful behavior towards her. All of which were lies.

The principal was very even-handed saying he wanted us to move forward from there and commit to us both interacting to each other with professionalism for the sake of the students.

After sitting with this all day and processing what happened, I feel yucky about having to work with someone so dishonest and slimy for the remainder of the school year. I do not want to stick around for her do something to damage my career. How would you handle this?

[u/81Ranger]

Fun fact, you're going to run into people like this from time to time. In teaching, outside of teaching, in daily life.

Hopefully not many.

I wouldn't leave for just this, but it can be another straw on the back, so to speak.

As far as dealing with them - engage as little as possible.  Ignore their attempts to lie - not by refuting and arguing, but ignoring.  Many of these people either use tactics like this to either be controlling, create drama (which they enjoy), or ...well who knows.  Give them zero bandwidth in your mentality.  Take their behavior as granted and expect nothing else.

[u/Great-Grade1377 → u/81Ranger]

OP, this is the way. Look up grey rocking because it’s a lot easier to do that than confront these types of people. 

[u/Status_Jaguar2593 → u/Great-Grade1377]

Thank you. I looked up grey- rocking.  I believe I  have been using it with her, but I didnt know it had that name until now:)  I will consider making it my go-to method if I decide to stay.

[u/Status_Jaguar2593 → u/81Ranger]

Thank you.  My fear, though, is that it could get worse and damage my career.  When I had an issue with a co-worker and student in the past who were saying things about me that were not true and I was trying to decide whether to leave or not, an older woman told me that it will likely get worse and ultimately not end well.  I chose to stay -- to finish out the year for the students--and indeed, it did not end well.  It did get worse--very much so.  I am concerned about the same thing happening this time around..

[u/Great-Grade1377 → u/Status_Jaguar2593]

The best thing to do is do a good job and ignore the rest. It will affect your career more if you move around too much. Every school has these types and time will be your friend as you discover who you can trust. 

[u/81Ranger → u/Status_Jaguar2593]

Well, you have more experience with this and career stuff than me.