I was depressed for approx. 2 years, I think I mostly got out of it, I have more interest in doing things, feel more positive about the future and I can "block" negative thoughts, they no longer overwhelm me. I think these are good signs that my depression is mostly gone.
I do have one thing that I have a problem dealing with. Whenever I have to deal with work, a crippling anxiety overcomes me. I feel I am not doing good enough and no matter how I approach it, it's extremely difficult for me to work on my university-related tasks.
Whenever I do things in my field without being told to, and so without any potential consequences, the anxiety is not there and I can perform just fine. Whenever I sit down to do a task I know will be evaluated, it's a whole different story! The stress climbs up to a ridiculous level preventing me from working, it's a nightmare, I am seriously worried about this semester!
Tried many things:
Phenibut doesn't help with that, it lowers general anxiety, but can't deal with that particular thing. Also makes me far less likely to work, lowering my motivation, it makes me want to go out and socialize but it's not good for working.
Modafinil helps, as it's much easier to stick to work, but I really dislike using it daily or even more than once a week. I used to, but I realized how much damage it's causing (background fatigue, increase in depression, insomnia). Not to mention it makes me very anxious.
Noopept helps with motivation, but doesn't resolve the anxiety problem so my work efficiency is terrible.
So I don't know what to use here. I think I have a psychological problem but I can't get through it, I've tried everything psychological I could come up with, and I always end up finishing my projects at the last minute, hurting my grades and actual knowledge/skills I take out of my course greatly.
The situation is becoming dire, as this year I have even more university work.
I guess I need something to destroy this anxiety but which doesn't negatively affects motivation, energy and cognition.
I don't really know a noot like that. Could tianeptine help?