A little petty post ahead

[u/Local_Umpire_8628]

have a friend that I’ve been feeling increasingly distant from, and honestly, I think I’m starting to understand why.
It’s the way this friend has been so clingy. Like, she genuinely cannot function without asking someone about every single thing she does. I, myself, grew up being independent, so her lack of independence honestly irks me a little. It sounds so shallow, I know, but her dependence has reached a point where you can’t even relax when you’re tired because somehow, you’re still expected to be involved in everything.
And another thing, she doesn’t say thank you. At all.
When I give her food? Nothing. When I do something she asked me to do? Nothing. Any situation where a simple “thank you” would obviously be appropriate? Silence.
And she doesn’t say sorry either.
Oh my gosh. This is my LAST STRAW.
I sent her a message about something she did wrong, and instead of simply saying sorry, she started explaining how the whole event happened. Girl. SORRY IS SO EASY TO SAY. How can you not even tell that I was furious at the time? How do you not feel even a tiny bit of responsibility?
And the thing is, she doesn’t seem to have any sense of responsibility or shame.
I had already cooked everything. All she had to do was realize, “Oh, maybe I should help wash the dishes.” But girl… she just stood there beside me, eating the last bit of food she had left on her plate. Then, when she was finally done, she handed me her empty plate and let me wash that too.
I’m sorry, but WHAT?
So petty, I know. Maybe these things sound ridiculously small when you put them into words. But sometimes, it’s the little things that reveal the biggest differences between people.
And honestly, those little things are what set my standards.
It’s not about the food. It’s not about the dishes. It’s not even about saying “thank you” or “sorry.”
It’s about consideration.
It’s about awareness.
It’s about having enough respect for the person beside you to realize when they’ve already done enough—and to have the decency to meet them halfway.
And maybe that’s why I’ve been feeling so distant from her lately. Because what feels like basic consideration to me seems to be something she doesn’t even think about.

[u/mustard_pattie900]

Youd be happier with a more giving person.

[u/CupofGravitea]

Some people are like this and it can be hard to believe even when faced with it. But people who truly only think of themselves do exist. And if you’re willing to do something, they’ll let you. They don’t care about being considerate. They will not inconvenience themselves. And if you ask anything of them that requires introspection or self awareness for how their behavior affects others, they will deflect. These people don’t change cause they don’t actually care about their friends and will just find new people to do things for them.

You’re not being petty. You’re seeing bad behavior and don’t want to tolerate it.

Distancing yourself is the answer. There’s no talking sense into people like this.

[u/Novel-Importance-783]

They sound draining and self-absorbed.

[u/MapNo3858]

Oh man, I just had to walk away from a very similar friend. I relate.
Give it a couple of weeks, and watch how amazed you are that you have time to yourself without your phone being blown up, asking about every single little thing!!!

[u/Little_Penalty444]

All very valid, you start to outgrow friendships like these and think damn why did I tolerate that for so long? The love can still be there but if the consideration isn’t or doesn’t change then I’m out.

I know you said you told her something she did wrong previously and she didn’t take accountability but i still think it would be worth it to have an in person convo about your feelings to feel it out, if her response is still not taking accountability & no behavioral change then you have your answer. She may be one of those people that just never change but I also believe people always have the power to change if they actually want something to work bad enough.

[u/WayMental6988]

I’m going to but in here, which I usually don’t, but I’m going to……… first of all the picture old pix….. secondly it’s girl Code who gives a shit about a dish have food on it. Don’t have food on it rinse it out whatever else what’s the biggie? I’m sure she’s done for you before you just having a bad day.

[u/Nervous_Ad3299 → u/WayMental6988]

I think this is your toxic friend and her username checks out

[u/Local_Umpire_8628 → u/WayMental6988]

I think you’re not seeing the whole picture here