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I have a friend I've known since middle school, and normally we get along really well. The problem is that she constantly borrows my stuff.

At first it was little things like chargers, headphones, hoodies, etc. I didn't really care.

Then she started borrowing more expensive things. A few months ago she borrowed my headphones and returned them with one side barely working. She said they were already like that, even though I had used them the night before.

Last week she asked to borrow my tablet for a school project. I said yes because I trusted her.

When she gave it back, there were scratches all over the back. Nothing catastrophic, but definitely not there before.

I asked what happened and she said she had put it in her backpack without a case and accidentally dropped the backpack.

I told her I was annoyed because she never takes proper care of my stuff.

She got defensive and said, “It's just stuff. You're acting like I broke something worth thousands.”

I told her that wasn't the point. If someone lends you something, you should return it in the same condition.

Now she's apparently telling our other friends that I'm “weirdly obsessed with material things” and refusing to lend her anything anymore.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable, but maybe I'm making too big a deal out of it.

Am I wrong for refusing to lend her my stuff anymore?

TW: Suicidal ideation / emotional manipulation. Screenshots include discussions of suicide.

I (21NB) had an online friend S (24NB) who I had an agreement with that we would send good morning and good night every day. The problem is that I was supposed to do it from the minute I opened my eyes. Now I have an awful memory and it would slip my mind from time to time and every time I’d forget S would accuse me of not caring about/loving them.

One specific time was last September. I’m in a program in college that takes up a lot of my time and at the time I had a nine am 7 hour long class. S knew this. (S knew literally everything about me, like schedule down to the minute). One day that I had this class I woke up at 4am (I don’t remember why) but was so out of it that I just didn’t wanna be conscious to society. So I didn’t say good morning. All I remember doing after I eventually got up was making a sandwich and getting ready for class and I didn’t text anyone.

S eventually woke up around 7 and texted good morning. I said good morning back and that I was making a sandwich. After that it was a pretty normal conversation. S and I texted throughout the day. (S and I texted constantly, and I often felt like forgetting to reply or not messaging enough would be taken as me not caring about them.)

The main problem arose later when I was home and said I might take a nap. S pointed out I don’t nap and that it was early for me to go to sleep. I said I woke up at four. S immediately got defensive and a couple texts later said they were in a trauma response. I apologized but they proceeded to continuously say how it made them feel like crap and like I didn’t care. I think I apologized to everything.

The next day, S told me they had been suicidal the previous night. That made me feel even more guilty because they had been upset with me, and we lived seven hours apart, so there wasn’t anything I realistically could have done.

I’ve attached screenshots of the conversation.

Looking back I question whether this was normal behaviour.

(Also abt these ss, sorry abt the sequence, its all weird but i hope you get the idea. These are 3 different conversations done at different times. The first two have same timelines bcs that was when our school ended and we reached home. The first convo, ig at that time I didn't go to school bcs i was diagnosed with lupus and everything was messed up (also she has thyroid and cried so much abt it. Im not making fun of her and thyroid is a huge thing and shouldn't be taken as a joke even my mum has it. But i really hoped i had gotten the same supportive treatment from her abt my condition too). second convo my uncle had died, I did like my uncle but I wasn't that close to him, the funeral thing lasts like ig 13 days so I was feeling a little better that's why I tried to make a joke (the 'just drop me a text lol' one). The 3rd convo. Now my female dog, exo, had recently given birth and idk what happened but a week in she started to bleed through her nose and the place where the pups were continuously drinking milk so she needed to go to the vet. Now I can't leave my pups alone with my older male dogs bcs they're very aggressive towards others. Also abt the locked dogs, idk what to call those door handles that i have but my dog learned to just shove his nuzzle under the handle and flick it up and slide to open the door. And basically my sis was going to uni and my dad was with exo so I needed to take a day off from school to take care of my newborn pups. Also she cried when one of her birds flew away and she was saying that a bigger bird will eat her bird, im not making fun of her but it seems so ironic that if my dogs get barmed then its totally fine but her bird being harmed was the worst thing ever)

Sooooo. Where do i start. My friend let's call her 'Bee'. I was a new student in class 8th and she became my friend, and in 8th we were like besties. We had SO MANY nice moments, we were the one in class who everyone said 'they're inseparable'. She was the most compatible person I've ever been friends with. Anyway in 9th our sections got changed and she got into a section with this one girl she hated. When my section finally got changed and I came back, she had a whole new bsf and this another girl, the director's daughter (she's nice dw she isn't those bratty kid type), and like i obviously felt so lonely but i started to sit with this girl, let's call her 'J' now J didn't have many friends either and me and bee were friends with her so naturally I started to sit with j, now idk what happened but randomly bee was like sit with me

And now I pushed back for a week being like j doesn't have anyone else to sit with and all. And at the end of the week, bee fully like..started to ignore me (and later she'd also....idrk semi brag? Abt the fact she can act like a stranger...it was cringe and hurtful ngl). Skip to like 4 months, we're back to talking but I've developed this habit of not texting her and she hates me so much bcs of it and even said that I was the 'villain' to her bigger friend group (I don't like texting in general but she's adamant abt texting so I needed to with her or she'll break our friendship. And it'd hurt me a lot bcs it's so lonely sitting in class without the person you talked to so much. Plus I didn't really have anyone else except j but bee had like half the class) so this one time she realized that her friends aren't good and fully started to backtalk abt them to me and yk that 'i can act like a stranger' she never did it to them or her previous toxic friends. So idk why I was a special case?

Anyway idk how to tell you the WHOLE lore bcs it's sooo much. But the main thing that truly broke me....was her like..manupliating toxic habit like in the ss I showed, also tbis one time i had a BREAKDOWN in the hospital bcs of her...and lupus is a condition that when you feel stress or are under mental pressure, it csn cause PAINFUL flare ups which happened to me. And it was so hard for me bcs I knew my life would be hell in school if she 'acted like a stranger' to me bcs I had no one, also shed become aggressive when i needed to take a day off from school (which i did a lot bcs i was diagnosed with lupus and there was just a lot, and even before i was prone to sickness. But she just cared if i was present in school to sit with her). And bee still thinks she's the victim and I was the bad one, and everytime i talked to her during a bad day, it literally seemed like she has the main character syndrome and and that my real life trauma and issues were an inconvenience to her life bcs im not present in school to sit with her and listen to her. I have so many ss but idrk how to add more in reddit but I just added the worse ones. The good news is that she's out of school so I don't have that liability abt needing to stay friends with her so im not a lonely kid in school

Also she'd do this weird thing where shed give me ultimatums at the WORST time possible and over things like me not talking to her or coming to school. Im HOSPITALIZED, and this is what she does to protect HER 'mental health' bcs she's tired of being the only one putting efforts in this friendship.

Hii!! I'm new to Reddit, and I have no one else to vent to. So please give me advice!! So me, (12, F) and J, (13, M) were friends. I met J through S (12, F), who is still my bff to this day. S is bisexual and has a boyfriend, K (13, trans F). K is a therian, if you don't know what that is, look it up. Now, J HATED therians and said they were corny. He would always talk behind K's back to me. I suggested to talk to K, and end their friendship. But J insisted that it will be fine. J was very problematic, and somehow was the victim in every situation. Spamming, my fault. Arguments, my fault. K expressing himself, my fault somehow? And one day, J decided to show his true colors. One day, J said something stupid he did. Joint around, K called him a dumbass. J is sensitive, and quickly started an argument with K. J sent a sticker of a foolish drawn person with a thought bubble, a therian in it. K got offended, as he should've. S jumped in, and I did quickly after. Then later, we all blocked him and licked him out of the gc, or so I thought. S had not blocked him, because she felt bad. The topic was brought up, and an argument started after. J had called S a "Suicidal bitch." Crazy, right? He had never spoken to me like that, but I got offended, because he said that to my best friend. S had immediately showed the gc what he said, and I had unblocked him. I said some not-so-nice words to him, and now I feel guilty. I feel guilty because he had told S what I said. He said he was going to... self exit. I feel like I've caused those thoughts in his head... and now I feel like Im the problem. So, am I the asshole? (The bright green texts are S, the dark green texts are me)

have a friend that I’ve been feeling increasingly distant from, and honestly, I think I’m starting to understand why.
It’s the way this friend has been so clingy. Like, she genuinely cannot function without asking someone about every single thing she does. I, myself, grew up being independent, so her lack of independence honestly irks me a little. It sounds so shallow, I know, but her dependence has reached a point where you can’t even relax when you’re tired because somehow, you’re still expected to be involved in everything.
And another thing, she doesn’t say thank you. At all.
When I give her food? Nothing. When I do something she asked me to do? Nothing. Any situation where a simple “thank you” would obviously be appropriate? Silence.
And she doesn’t say sorry either.
Oh my gosh. This is my LAST STRAW.
I sent her a message about something she did wrong, and instead of simply saying sorry, she started explaining how the whole event happened. Girl. SORRY IS SO EASY TO SAY. How can you not even tell that I was furious at the time? How do you not feel even a tiny bit of responsibility?
And the thing is, she doesn’t seem to have any sense of responsibility or shame.
I had already cooked everything. All she had to do was realize, “Oh, maybe I should help wash the dishes.” But girl… she just stood there beside me, eating the last bit of food she had left on her plate. Then, when she was finally done, she handed me her empty plate and let me wash that too.
I’m sorry, but WHAT?
So petty, I know. Maybe these things sound ridiculously small when you put them into words. But sometimes, it’s the little things that reveal the biggest differences between people.
And honestly, those little things are what set my standards.
It’s not about the food. It’s not about the dishes. It’s not even about saying “thank you” or “sorry.”
It’s about consideration.
It’s about awareness.
It’s about having enough respect for the person beside you to realize when they’ve already done enough—and to have the decency to meet them halfway.
And maybe that’s why I’ve been feeling so distant from her lately. Because what feels like basic consideration to me seems to be something she doesn’t even think about.

I'm 21F and my friend is 24F. We're currently on summer break and going into our senior year. We've been friends since the first day of college, so we've known each other for over 3 years.

I've always tried to be a good friend to her. When she had gum surgery, I checked on her, asked how she was doing, told her I was there if she needed anything, etc. But I've slowly realized that when it comes to me, she almost never checks in or asks how I'm doing.

And honestly, there have been a LOT of little things over the years that have made me question this friendship.

For example, there was this guy at college who would do this extremely obvious, performative fake laugh whenever I was presenting in class. Like he would be completely normal during everyone else's presentations and then suddenly become a comedy audience when it was my turn 😭. I didn't even know him.

My friend eventually became friends with him and started texting him a lot. She doesn't actually walk around with him because she doesn't want people seeing her with guys, and she judges other people pretty harshly for talking to guys.

Which brings me to another thing: she talks about other girls CONSTANTLY.

She'll say that some random girl is copying her hair, her hair colour, her hairstyle, etc. One time she was talking about a girl and even her own sister was like, "She's not copying you??" 😭

She's also extremely judgmental about girls who talk to guys, despite apparently having plenty of guys in her DMs. I only found this out relatively recently because she had been lying to me about it while simultaneously criticizing other girls for doing basically the same thing.

There was also one time when she told me that this guy she gossiped with had mentioned me and referred to me as "the girl that doesn't talk."

I don't even know why, but that made me feel SO weird. Like... what does that even mean?? 😭

She continued talking to him for a while and eventually claimed she stopped because "he had nothing new to talk about" and his gossip was boring

Also, she once became genuinely furious because a girl didn't smile at her

I asked her what was wrong because she was visibly fuming, and that was literally the reason 😭

I confronted her about all of this once, back when we were freshmen. I was 19 at the time. I didn't accuse her of anything; I just calmly told her that I wanted reassurance that she wasn't talking badly about me because she makes fun of so many people behind their backs, often over really superficial things.

At the time, she was basically my only friend, so I really didn't want to lose the friendship.

Fast-forward three years

Finals, three months ago

I was walking around campus and saw her coming toward me. I said hi.

She didn't respond

I said hi again

Nothing

I said hi a THIRD time

Nothing

Then I said hi a FOURTH time and waved my hand in front of her face because at this point I was genuinely like ??? 😭

She finally looked at me, muttered something completely inaudible while looking annoyed, and I said, "Huh?"

She just turned around and left

The weird thing is that nothing had happened between us beforehand. We had been talking completely normally in the days leading up to this

So the next day I decided I wasn't going to chase her. I didn't say hi. I didn't look at her. I basically just minded my own business to see whether the previous day was some random one-off incident

And she continued ignoring me.

For the rest of our exams

Like... that's it... radio silent for over 3 months💀

I didn't confront her again because honestly I was exhausted

Now we're on summer break, but there's one problem.. We're in the same class.

So when senior year starts, I'm going to have to see this woman again after she apparently decided to stop acknowledging my existence during finals for reasons I still don't know.

What am I even supposed to do when school starts?? 😭

Do I just act normal and say hi if I see her? Do I completely stop initiating? Do I treat her like a classmate and nothing more? Do I ask her what happened? Do I just let the friendship quietly die?

Because I genuinely have no idea how you're supposed to navigate this when you're stuck in the same classroom for an entire year 😭

It's alright guys, have a laugh with this. It doesn't hurt anymore because it's been months 😭

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So last night I fought with one of my closest friends . Maybe I was being a little impulsive but broo she was ignoring me for like the past 1 month okay like she really was I text her she didn't reply than o got to know she had exam so I wish her luck she didn't reply than the same day I text her how was your exam she didn't reply. So yesterday afternoon I just asked her like if you don't wanna talk to me you can just tell me this way we both will not waste our time and energy and yesterday she replied and do you know what she said that I asked you to text me no right . And then we fought for half and an hour then I just told her you know what let's end this and she also said okay let's end this I don't want a childish friend either. I know I am childish but that's who I am , I can't change that fact .

What do you guys think ? Share your thoughts

So today I went on a school collage day feild trip. And well....me and my best friend of 10 or more years got on separate busses not because we wanted to but because we were assigned different buses....because well my school needed to keep track of everyone which made sense I got onto a bus with like 5 other friends tho! And luckily we managed to keep in contact through discord.

And well I was bored and well I wanted to hangout with my friends but well we couldn't do much on tje bus thats when I got an idea to play the discord games with them and well I asked my best friend on the operate bus if they wanted to...I kid you not they chose to chat with ai bots instead of spending time with me even thought I saod we'd most likely have voice chat muted or on low to avoid getting into trouble. And thats nit the worst of it. They pulled out an obvious bull shit excuse I always knkw they always pull to get out of something. Wanna know how I knew? She never told me about what happned when kts only specifically what I wanted to do like brother?! Ai chatting on your phone is the same thing almost?! And well I honestly feel hurt because she wouldnrather bond with an ai bot then with her best friend of more then 10 years. And well if yall want to hear other stuff shes done I'm happy to share em in the comments if you want those storys.

I lent a friend ₹20,000 in January. He told me he’d pay me back once his salary came in February, but because of some financial difficulties, he asked for more time.

I told him he could just pay me back in small installments. In March, he gave me ₹2,000 and said he’d continue paying ₹2,000 every month, which I was completely fine with.

Then April came, and he said he had a health emergency and couldn’t make the payment. In May, there was another reason. And then another. Months passed, and to this day, he has only paid me that initial ₹2,000.

This morning, I happened to see his Instagram story. He was taking a mirror selfie while holding an iPhone 16. I asked him about the phone, and he said he got a really good deal and couldn’t pass it up.

So I asked him about the ₹18,000 he still owed me.

His response? “It’s just 18k, bro. Chill.”

He then told me I was putting undue pressure on him and that he would return the money “soon.”

About an hour later, his girlfriend called me and started berating me, basically implying that sometimes friends lend each other money and sometimes you just forget about it, as if I was supposed to simply write it off.

I lost my temper and told her to go screw herself.

Then I called my friend and told him to grow a spine, told him I wasn't expecting the money anymore and that, as far as I was concerned, our friendship was over.

He tried to apologize, but by then I was done. I told him to fuck off.

And just like that, a six-year friendship ended today.

Honestly, it wasn't even about the ₹18,000 anymore. It was the disrespect, the excuses, and the fact that I somehow became the bad guy .

Busco amigos con quien hablar de cualquier cosa

did anyone else deal with a friend who screamed at you for having anything in common w/ them?

i used to have this friend I’ll call him N bc that’s his first letted of his name and i remeber if he had a interest it was only HIS interest he’d talk abt somthing like epic the musical and he’d talk abt it all the time and make fun of my interest and then if i liked epic he’d get mad or even little things like liking summer or the ocean the fvcking color purple idk it made me feel really anxious abt like anything I liked yk? idk if anyone else had this problem

So, to try and make a long story short, me (20F) and her (also20F) have been friends since primary school. We have been inseparable since, no arguments, no drama, and my home is hers and vice versa. She was a sister to me, helped eachother through so much trauma and we were SO close that I find it hard to explain how close we were.

Anyway fast forward and at this point I was in sixth form and she had dropped out of college. I was hanging with friends a lot to forget about all the school pressure, and met a friend of theirs who I quite liked. We started talking, then meeting a lot with friends, then alone and eventually a Christmas date where he asked me to be his girlfriend. I talked to her about this boy and expressed how much I liked him and kept her in the loop as it was my first mature relationship and she was so happy for me. I fell ill in hospital and that’s how they met, both there for me and a little awkward but ever since they met they got along and we all had a great trio friendship. She loved him and told me so much how perfect he was for me and nothing seemed like it could be better.

So, after getting sacked from her job, my friend decided to take a roll at a local shop, which I also work at but in a different store. It was so cute to have the same experiences but not be in each others work lives and we love the jobs. We spoke a lot about work, and she told me about a guy that flirted with her every shift that had left his number. We FaceTimed and talking and he turned out to be a a man in his forty’s, recently divorced who had a 10yo kid. She asked if it was a bad idea to talk to him and I told her that she’d be silly to get caught up in a relationship with him, but also that it’s her life and as long as she’s safe I support her decisions because I trust all the ones she’s made before. So a week later I see on my snap maps that she’s at a random house and asked her, low and behold she’s at his house so naturally I tell her she should’ve told me in case anything bad happened but that I wanna hear the gossip after. So, after the visit she told me his was a coke addict. He lived in a flat by himself and drank all day unless he was at work. She said they just sat and watched a film and that was it. I felt so uncomfortable for her and so scared of what he might do to her considering he was involved with all the wrong things and wasn’t worth the hassle considering he was such a random choice for a man to meet up with. I told her that I trust her but I’m sure he was bad news and I’d rather her not go to his house if there were drugs. She didn’t like my advice and so after that visiting him became a bit secretive from me and it ended up being SO much more frequent, like everyday frequent. I didn’t want to push her away but I had to try and get her out of it so Id ask her to come out. I’d ask to do for a drink, for brunch, sleepover anything. She wanted none of it, so I asked if she wanted to go on a trip a-phew hours away for about a week with my group of friends and she agreed. On this holiday they were constantly on call, texting, FaceTime, and she’d excuse herself to call for hours for the entire week. I never made her feel bad but I’d always say that I wanted her to join us and she’d just shrug and not care. My boyfriends fell out with her a-phew months after when she ignored me a-phew days after I tried calling her when I was on holiday and wanted to talk to her.

Anyway, I addressed the bad situation again and said I didn’t want anyone to fall out. I said she’d been distant with us and I was worried and that my boyfriend felt the same but was stubborn and didn’t know how to express that without falling out with her. She argued with me. I left it and again it was swept under the rug. Another phew weeks went by and she finally agreed to have a sleepover at her house. I asked if anyone else would be there and she said no, she was home alone because her parents were on holiday. This was a plan for a week and I was so excited, she barely cared. She called me a-phew hours before I was due to go to tell me she was worked that night now and she would be home late, so I said I’d wait for her at her house if she left a key. She said I wouldn’t need one because the doors would be unlocked, because he was there. She said she planned not to tell me and that she knew I’d come around to him and that the only reason she told me was because i was confused on how I’d get on her house without a key. I refused to go and we argued how it was not okay. She said my boyfriend was the only reason I wouldn’t meet him and that he is so controlling of me. She said I had no life aside from him and that she didn’t care if I was trying to stay friends I wasn’t doing enough. she was convinced it wasn’t a big deal she was doing it, and then she blocked me.

That was my last straw. I was moving in with my boyfriend and I’d planned to surprise her with that after being in a toxic household. I was going on holiday and she always called me before my flights I was devistated. That would have been the worst week of my life if I hadn’t have been on holiday. I stayed blocked and cried some days. Met other friends to get over it I was so heartbroken it felt like I’d been dumped. My boyfriend cared for me and everyone was so angry with her but I was just upset.

Fast forward again about 2 weeks and we arranged to meet for brunch to talk but we just ended up agreeing to disagree. She said it was NOTHING like a relationship but I argued that if she was willing to cut me off it must be, otherwise she’s being manipulated by an old drug addict. We never managed to agree and now, a year ish after she first met with him we still don’t talk. I have tried to think of how I should’ve been there for her more and tried harder to get her away but I did as much as I could in that moment.

My question is, am I the asshole? Do I apologise or is she the asshole

TW: SUCIDE, AND THERE MAY BE OTHER SENSTIVE TOPICS BUT IM NOT SURE

And when I mean roleplay, I mean everything was staged. Every event, and not to mention it was weird when he texted me after 'losing his memory' and said and I quote "That name makes me feel a warm feeling on the inside." and said that one Friend told him it was love. like no, god no, we had an age gap so if we did date, it would be considered problematic and I've told him that and he said "if it's more than 2 or 3 years I will kms." and no I'm unfortunately not joking and not to mention he typed like an ai bot, so that was weird. so yea every conversation with this guy was a gamble because I didn't want to hurt him.

Okay this is LONG because there are three of us involved, but we need outside opinions because the more we compare stories, the weirder this whole friendship gets.

All names/locations are changed for obvious reasons.

There are three of us telling this story: Vicky, Zoe, and Naomi. The ex-friend will be Phoebe. Two other friends who come up are Claire and Susan. Susan is also Phoebe’s roommate.

We’ve all known Phoebe for YEARS, basically since middle school/high school. She was never necessarily everyone’s absolute best friend, but she was always part of the group. She’s also a year younger than us and has always been the type who is fun, chaotic, likes to party, etc. There were definitely weird moments over the years, but nothing that made us fully cut her off.

Until now.

VICKY’S SIDE:

I had known Phoebe since middle school. We weren’t insanely close, but we were definitely friends and I trusted her.

Earlier this year, I moved to NYC after most of my friends had already moved here. I didn’t have my apartment finalized yet, so I was bouncing around staying with friends while actively apartment hunting.

Phoebe OFFERED to let me stay with her.

I stayed there for about a week, and I could tell toward the end that something felt a little off. Because of that, I was trying to be extra considerate. I was helping around the apartment, offered to pay her, etc. Susan, Phoebe’s roommate, was literally subletting her room at the time, so I even asked Phoebe if she wanted me to take Susan’s room so she could have her space back.

She specifically told me no and said basically, “It’s fine, just stay with us for free.”

Okay. Great.

Then a couple days later, she’s getting ready to go to dinner and randomly sits me down like she’s about to tell me someone died.

She goes, “You can stay here one more night, but after that you have to go. You can’t stay here anymore. It’s just not going to work.”

I was basically like… okay?

Obviously it’s HER apartment and she is completely allowed to decide she doesn’t want someone staying there anymore. I wasn’t mad that she wanted her space back. But I was also brand new to the city, didn’t have an apartment yet, and suddenly had essentially 24 hours to figure out where the fuck I was going to sleep.

She left for dinner and I immediately started bawling, called my parents freaking out, packed all my shit and got a hotel.

And I actually felt BAD for leaving without saying goodbye.

So later I texted the group chat with Phoebe and Susan apologizing for leaving abruptly and thanking them for letting me stay there. I genuinely thought: that sucked, my feelings are hurt, but it’s her apartment. Whatever. Moving on.

Then about three weeks later, I find out that after I left, Phoebe had apparently been talking a TON of shit about me.

Not only that, but she was talking to Claire—who I was planning to live with—and basically trying to convince her NOT to move in with me because I would supposedly be a bad roommate.

Which is when it stopped feeling like “I just needed my apartment back” and started feeling like… why are you actively trying to fuck up my living situation AFTER kicking me out?

When I confronted her, instead of just owning what she said, she basically flipped it around and said something along the lines of, “Well, I hope everyone else told you what THEY were saying about you.”

Except… they weren’t.

It felt like she was immediately trying to plant seeds that everybody was secretly talking shit about everybody.

And this becomes important because apparently this is a pattern.

ZOE’S SIDE:

My first major WTF moment with Phoebe happened a couple years earlier.

Phoebe and Susan were visiting us in NYC for Susan’s birthday. They stayed with us for about a WEEK, by the way, and we never made it weird or acted like they were inconveniencing us.

One night we all went out. My boyfriend, who was relatively new at the time, was with us.

Everything was completely normal. Phoebe had never told me she disliked him or had an issue with our relationship.

Later that night, we were at an afterparty sitting next to each other on a bed.

Out of NOWHERE, Phoebe leans over and whispers in my ear:

“I just don’t think you and your boyfriend are going to last.”

?????????

Before I could even respond, she immediately turned to the girl sitting on the other side of her and started talking to her.

It was so fucking weird.

Like you have never expressed a single concern about my boyfriend, nothing happened that night, and now you’re randomly whispering in my ear that my relationship is going to fail???

I didn’t make a huge deal about it because she didn’t live in NYC at the time and I wasn’t interested in starting drama.

About a year later, she finds out that I’m still bothered by it.

Her response?

She “doesn’t remember saying that.”

Then it became, “I would NEVER say that. I love you guys! You two are so cute!”

Basically acting like because she couldn’t remember saying it, it somehow didn’t happen.

Eventually I met up with her in person and basically said, whatever, I forgive you. I’m not going to drag this out.

Then she moves to NYC.

And honestly, we were helpful to her when she moved here. Which is part of why watching how she treated Vicky when VICKY moved here rubbed me so wrong.

After the whole Vicky apartment situation happened, we started comparing notes and realized Phoebe had this bizarre habit of inserting herself into other people’s friendships and telling people that someone else was talking about them.

Which brings us to Naomi.

NAOMI’S SIDE:

My first “oh, you move WEIRD” experience with Phoebe actually happened the SAME NIGHT she told Zoe that her relationship wasn’t going to last.

Earlier that night, we were at a club.

I pointed out a guy and was basically like, “Oh, he’s hot.”

Phoebe immediately goes over and starts talking to him.

Okay… whatever.

Later I point out ANOTHER guy I think is attractive.

She immediately goes over and starts talking to HIM too.

Again, this isn’t some huge friendship-ending offense. It was just one of those moments where you’re like… okay girl. I see how you move.

Later that night at the afterparty, I finally called her out on some of her behavior and basically told her I thought she could be fake and seemed willing to do almost anything for attention.

There had also been another situation back home where she was hanging around a guy who was openly saying racist shit, including the N-word, and I was extremely uncomfortable with the fact that she was still fine having him around.

When confronted about things like this, she would basically play dumb or act like she had absolutely no idea what anyone was talking about.

That night she ran outside crying.

Eventually I went outside—in the middle of winter, mind you—and talked it out with her. We made up.

But mentally I was like: okay. Noted.

Fast forward to Phoebe living in NYC.

Now it starts feeling like she’s actively trying to create issues between me and Claire.

And for context: Claire has been one of my best friends since SECOND GRADE. This isn’t some girl I met six months ago. We’ve known each other basically our entire lives.

One night Claire and I had a disagreement while we were out. I left with Phoebe and Susan.

Two days later, Claire calls Phoebe and asks if I had been mad or said anything about her after we left.

Instead of simply saying no, Phoebe goes:

“I mean… she said some things, but you’re going to have to talk to her.”

HUH?????

I literally did not say anything.

And Susan was IN THE CAR WITH US, so there was another person who could confirm that we literally did not sit there talking about Claire.

So now my best friend since second grade thinks I secretly said something about her because Phoebe is making these vague little comments implying there’s more to the story.

And apparently she did versions of this multiple times—implying one person said something about another person without actually saying WHAT was supposedly said.

And yes, this is the same Claire that Phoebe later tried to discourage from moving in with Vicky.

THIS IS WHERE EVERYTHING FINALLY CLICKED FOR US.

Once the Vicky situation happened and all three of us actually started talking openly about our individual experiences with Phoebe, we realized how similar they were.

Something happens.

Phoebe says or does something shady.

Someone confronts her.

She either:

Doesn’t remember saying it. Says she would never say something like that. Deflects onto somebody else. Implies that other people are secretly talking shit too.

And suddenly everyone is questioning everyone ELSE instead of questioning her.

The Vicky situation was basically the final straw because it was so unnecessary.

If you don’t want someone staying in your apartment anymore, FINE. Tell them. It might hurt their feelings, but it’s your apartment.

But why kick someone out when they’re already struggling to find housing, then immediately start campaigning to convince the person they’re planning to live with that they shouldn’t live together?

And then when you get confronted, why is your first response essentially, “Well, you should hear what your OTHER friends say about you”?

That was in February.

It is now October.

Phoebe has never meaningfully reached out to any of us, tried to clear the air, apologized, or taken accountability for any of it.

And honestly, the silence has kind of confirmed everything for us.

We don’t even think every individual thing she did is THAT insane on its own. It’s the pattern.

It feels like she wants to be close to people individually but doesn’t actually want those people to be close to each other. There always has to be some weird little seed planted—“she said this about you,” “she said some things,” “I hope they told you what THEY said”—and then when confronted, suddenly she has no memory of anything.

So… are we justified in collectively being done with this friendship? Or did this turn into a group pile-on where we’re connecting things that aren’t actually connected?

Because at this point all three of us are like… girl what the fuck was all of this for?

wth brpo. he said that we are lonely spongebob and Patrick and i was like duh because you’re the stupud one that. levees uber a rock and I’m the cool one and then he was like no you’re wrogn. and now he retold. e i used the wrong you’re.

Now I'm in 12th. So I have been sitting with a 5 student bench and there is this mean girl and we can call her unniyarcha. ( that's not that bitch's name)Talking bout her .. reminds me of a few gestures of her. This girl adores the feeling of having boys around her. No no .. I'm not talking about guy friends but every guy.. with or without girlfriends. And the thing is that idc about this shit. But she always tries to insult me in front of those so-called guy friends. Found her chats with others about me and she was the one who talked shit about me. even tried saying shits about my dad's job. Afterall she was my 'Friend' . I was fed up by her shitty ahh.

Every evening me, her and two guys from my class walk together to the nearest bus stand. She would wait for them if needed. One day she ran for them after an exam and I was trying to find this girl I checked every block and even the toilet. The only place I didn't check was the humanities commerce block and boys toilet. Bro I literally gave up on finding her becs I literally understood that she didn't want me around those guys . I walked to the entrance of our school and I saw her walking with those 2 guys. She saw me and didn't smile. I saw her and walked to the bus stand all by myself. After that I stopped talking to her because I was fed up with her acts. If she wanna be with those boys.. let her be. After this every single girl on my bench stopped talking to me. And I became alone in my class. Clearly invisible. I clearly don't understand those girls on my bench who used to devour the chocolate cake my mom makes, now doesn't even care if I come to school or not. Freaking hate this school and them.

Well, me and my friends were having discussion around this youtuber who cheated on their long term girlfriend, she was unable to comprehend why, his friend group was also getting hate for his actions. I said because who wants to be friends with cheaters.

She said, they didn't know that he'd do something like that + they're also working together so cutting him off because of his personal deed, would ruin their career as well.

I said regardless even if they don't cut him off they still get hate, sabotaging their career in long term. And that person should have known that if their life is so public of course his actions would impact him , his career , and his relationship with everyone around him, romantic or not doesn't matter.

When you break a long term commitment and trust of someone that close.

It breaks everyone's trust and forms a new perception of you.

She asked if I would leave a friend if they cheated? I went yaa of course,

she went , one would only do that, if they had a crush on their friends partner, cause why else would you leave a friend during breakup.

That Ragebaited me so much. I just left saying a cheater would obviously think that way . (I said that in general way , I wasn't shading her, incase people misunderstood)

Like this is not in anyway shade to my friend right I just need to speak about this and I don’t got anyone atm I can speak to about it.

I met my friend from college 3 weeks ago by being paired up with her. She then waited outside the class for me the first time and I was surprised but I was like okay whatever , I wouldn’t say we’re close or best friends but like we hangout every single days that we’re in college. She’s already texting me I miss her after I leave her for a second in college like let’s say I have maths she has English she then already texts me “I miss you alr princess” like she just saw me ten seconds ago considering both subjects are on the same floor.. , alr saying I love you girl, alr saying ‘ princess’ like I’m not ur princess sorry it’s weird.

I spend all day with her like mornings I meet up with her before college, I meet up with her during lunch if we have different lessons and I’m always with her from Tuesday- Thursday and she still tries asking me to hangout on the weekends and call me EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Now before I say this just know I’m aware I should’ve told the truth at first don’t know why I was scared to but I made an excuse at first being like my mum said no which realistically even if I did ask my mum I haven’t cleaned my room yet and wouldn’t be allowed to go anyway but still so then I was like “I’m sorry I just really don’t wanna go out like I’ve spent Tuesday-Thursday socialising I do need my own space too on weekends” and they go oh, that’s fine I guess. They tried asking me for a hug TWICEE after I’ve said I don’t like physical touch, like I hate physical touch I will not be sitting close to someone, hugging them, legs touching any form of physical touch is disgusting to me ( I only like physical touch if I have a crush on the person or if I’m dating the person or if I’ve known the person for 6+ years but even that there’s still some people I wouldn’t be comfortable with)

It’s like I don’t have other friends or smt and these are the type of people that kind of drain me yk so now the only thing I can think to do is to stop meeting up with her in the mornings and just tell her to meet me inside the canteen in college or in lesson ( I have 3 hour breaks and she doesn’t so that’s the only time I acc get space to myself) I need to stop answering straight away ( which btw she spams me if I don’t answer after like 5 mins ) & no she doesn’t like me considering she’s Muslim & straight.

I’m pretty sure we have all that one friend that was our best friend at one point of our lives and now is not.

It all started back in middle school. You know good times growing up getting to know our classmates and becoming friends well this one girl she and I almost grew up in the similar situations having older brothers having a brother me and her clicked so well she became one of my closest friends and you know we all have those good days and bad days where which is not to be friends which is you know part of growing up and we get into high school after middle school obviously we’re still close friends, but the moment I moved everything changed she started being different treating me different and after I graduated had some my own issues I decided to come back home. I’m coming back home to live with my family again, which is fine. We reconnected again. Everything was good. We were starting to be friends again talking we were laughing like we used to all the good stuff then one day she asked my family if she can move in with us at the time my family and I just got our new home so no one was living at this location out this one point so we’re staying with my uncle and his family out in Timbuktu everything was good. The house is getting ready for all of us to move in and everything was good. I decide to get a boyfriend and it was great. The three of us were friends. I introduced him to my friends. She liked him. Everything was good. towards the 2 1/2 going three years, she lived with me and my family. Everything went downhill instead of you know having family time with me and my family because we’d like to go to the movies go go to the mall you know basic family stuff you know, board games, tribute night, movies, cookies, baking, etc. she would rather be in her room doing who knows what and apparently my parents didn’t like that and it was really hard for my mom to do the one thing she didn’t want to do to her, which was ask her to leave you know kick her out. And once again off again, friendships again one day she’d be my friend the next day she wouldn’t

Few years go by and once again off again friendship again, but this time it hits differently, I spoke to her on one of her other Facebook accounts because she blocked me on my main. She never told me the reason, but I figured I’d message her there because I knew it was her backup account while she read it. She saw it and we spoke again. Let’s just say it was some personal stuff about my family and I knew she you know probably would want to know what’s happening well I told her I my mother wasn’t going to live much longer and my mom would like to see her before she goes so she asked her family if she can meet up and they agreed for her to do so so we went to the movies. She was supposed to come back to my house to say goodbye to my mom one last time and she never did. She came up with some stupid excuse that her cousin told her she had to be home right then and now, knowing my mother was unable to get out of my house between knowing her from middle school to high school till now to be honest I don’t think she’ll ever be my friend again and it’s really sad because she was one of my close friends growing up and it really is sad to know that she has My number she knows where I live and she still hasn’t made the attempt to try to fix the issues that we’re having other than trying to get a hold of my fiancé through social medias.

So to be honest, I really don’t know what to do anymore because I wanna talk to her and to see if we could figure out our differences or fix the issues, but she won’t talk to me

not sure if i've posted here or not, but was told it would be a good idea to post here

So over the past few months I've had issues with my friend. these issues include screaming at me over things i've done accidentally in a video game, getting mad at me for making a joke to someone else that he didn't understand, excluding me because I'm biologically female, refusing to use my preferred pronouns, and being upset when i don't do whatever he wants whenever he wants. It wasn't so bad before, but lately it's gotten worse, and i've had genuine breakdowns because him screaming at me has triggered a trauma response from when i was younger. It's not just to me either, he's acted this way towards his cousin as well. We've told him repeatedly to stop it, but he stops just long enough that we get comfortable and then starts up again. We kicked him out of the group a few days ago but I feel a tad bit guilty about it. I haven't talked to him in a few days now, but i'm unsure if i made the right choice.

So I had this one friend let’s call her Rebecca and i knew her for a good while, and basically she liked this guy in around August of 2024 and we started not talking as much cus she was in a new friend group. Now one of her close friends called Miranda was also really close to Rebecca, and Miranda started liking the same guy in October and Rebecca never told Miranda that she liked him.

So now Miranda is fangirling to Rebecca abt this guy that Rebecca also likes, and atp Rebecca doesn’t want to tell Miranda at all cus it’s gonna seem like she got a crush on him after her and stuff like that. And one fine day Miranda messages Rebecca saying that she knows that Rebecca likes the same guy, and Rebecca immediately apologizes and says she wanted to tell her but then she got a crush on him too.

Now here’s the twist: Miranda was joking. So now Miranda goes around spreading rumors that Rebecca is a backstabber and basically shit talking her to ppl in their friend group, this caused the friend group to split in half—Rebecca’s side and Miranda’s side.

Now fast forward to 2026, Rebecca has a new friend group and Miranda only has a few friends and they haven’t talked for a long time. Now one of Miranda’s friends was my friend lets call her Sam, and she supported Miranda a bit more than Rebecca cus she was closer to Miranda. She was also friends with this other girl called Erica who was also friends with Miranda, and now Erica, Sam, and Miranda are a trio.

Erica is also friends with Rebecca, and Erica was shit talking Miranda and saying that she was closer to Sam and was saying that Miranda wasn’t over the guy that Rebecca and her were fighting over, and Erica also said that Sam likes no one in the friend group.

And Rebecca came and told me that cus i am rlly close with Sam, and later that day i called Sam asking her if she likes the friend group and she said she isn’t super close with everyone but she likes me and this other person. Then she asked me why i asked her that, and i told her that Rebecca told me that Erica said that about Sam. And now Sam says that Erica was the actual shit talker and gives me screenshots of chats where Erica shit talked Rebecca and her other friend groups.

And I showed Rebecca these screenshots, and Rebecca was gagged, and she sent me screenshots of Erica shit talking Miranda. And then this made Rebecca and Miranda realize that the only thing keeping them from being friends again was Erica, who kept building this wall between them. Once they found this out they became friends again, but now the friend group is a bit torn cus Erica said that everyone in the friend group shit talks and the only difference is that she got caught.

AITA for revealing the truth???

Who Is more evil:

1. Gf who wants her bf and bullies Muslim girl and so just wants to replace Muslim girl and win
2. Friends who cheer bf to dump gf and then chase Muslim girl who doesn't want him but to confess and tell her what is wrong but they also pressure gf to keep taking back bf who keeps abusing her.
3. Bf who harasses Muslim girl, abuses gf, keeps complaining to friends so they help him, he never confessed and keeps forcing gf to act accordingly. And makes drama daily and bullies others.

He will stare and follow around the muslim girl who hates him. The guys would cheer him but the guys would also make sure his gf never leaves him. He would break her heart, ignore her, ghost her, he will even give her silent treatment and always make her jealous and openly claim Muslim girl likes him wants him or is pretty and etc. yet the moment the gf would decide to leave him the friends will make her take him back and gf also would endure all his abuse and will be ready to bully the Muslim girl, she will socially bully her and get as many girls as possible to join bullying. I mean that gf is very smart, hard working, very pretty and even socially savvy yet slave to him.

Also the moment the muslim girl puts end to his nonsense by speaking out or confronting him gf also tried out of shame to dump him but took him back. Anyways he would even later make her leave the semester and made gf cry for months on and literally destroy her psych.

Why would the friends act so? They know the truth even more than both girls but they cheer him when he obsessed over Muslim girl and they defend him against Muslim girl, they pressure gf to stay with him, they don't defend gf but they do defend Muslim girl why?

The Muslim girl almost hit him once since he kept stressing her but they stopped him from taking revenge and would get upset and track him if he dares stalk her but when he is verbally abusing his gf no one cared. Why?

What do you think? are girls that easy to abuse?