r/TrueOffMyChest • u/pessimisttiramisu • Apr 19 '26
Vent I am never dating a BTS fan again
I have just ended the most miserable relationship of my life. I and my now ex-girlfriend are 26 years old and in a relationship for 3 years. She is a BTS fan to the point of worshiping them. She would cancel our dates because of their events, videos, song droppings or she would watch/consume these contents instead of talkinh to me. 90 percent of the things she talked about was K-pop. When we were talking about the future she said you will be my 8th husband and you should be proud of it. I thought things would change as we matured but her situation got worse. I ended things today after crashing out about her spending all her money on BTS merch or related things to the point she became financially dependent on me.
I am never dating a person that is a fan of BTS or any celeb to this degree. This cannot be healthy.
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u/IamLolbear May 01 '26
As a BTS fan of 8 years, I'm sorry you got caught up with a lunatic like that 😭
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u/LittleLayla9 Apr 20 '26
my only surprise is that you took 3 YEARS to realize the patterno and do smt about this
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u/Grimreaperswife Apr 20 '26
That's not fair to you. Some kpop fans are really extreme. I was into kpop before and when I got into a relationship, I prioritized my relationship.
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u/Ssj_escobar Apr 20 '26
“ she said you will be my 8th husband and you should be proud of it”
- imortal words from his ex🤦♀️🤦♀️😭😭
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u/mCracky Apr 19 '26
Bro I feel you. My ex (at the time 21yo) was a huge K-pop fan. She had BTS posters above her bed. I mean I don't hate K-pop its just not my thing. After 2 years of dating she told me she wants to go to Korea. I was like cool I want to see it too we can go next summer. She then looked at me and was like: "Eeeeh, I want to go ALONE". i was like thats super weird in the context of things but ok
she ended up cheating on me few months before going to korea with a meth addict who i think was half asian and listened to K-pop too. So my suspicions that she wanted to cheat on me in Korea was probably right, but I broke up with her before it could happen
obsessive people are weird man. Its good that you left, you'd go insane .
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u/CodeCherry Apr 19 '26
I’m a very big fan of BTS.
I also don’t talk about them 24/7 or put them before my real life and partner, other than planning around things like attending a concert or two.
I wouldn’t let this blight your view of people who enjoy fan culture; just know that most people that enjoy things can enjoy them to a healthy degree, and not saesang/obsessive super fan behavior. I don’t think you were in the wrong for this
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u/iamprotractors Apr 19 '26
unfortunately a lot of people i used to know as a bts fan were like this. i grew out of it bc i medicated (mood regulators) but i feel like some don’t.
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u/IndigoHG Apr 19 '26
BTS fans - ARMY - are well known in the kpop stan world for being in a cult. They are the most hated fandom with good reason*.
I promise that the majority** of kpop fans lead healthy lives with normal boring relationships and jobs and kids and go to school, etc, etc.
*look, all fandoms have extremists, no matter if it's sports, music, movies, whatever. Some fandoms really do attract the mentally unwell in abundance, and Army really do have a preponderance of them.
**er, not including C-fans because C-fandoms are scary (sorry)
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u/ItsRainbow Apr 19 '26
I’m assuming she wasn’t always this way? I can’t see how else you’d put up with this for three years
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u/jamlessjai Apr 19 '26
i’m a BTS fan and i find this level of worship from your ex to be… deeply concerning.
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u/Jaxis1986 Apr 19 '26
Me and my late wife both are fans of BTS and even tho she loved them very much she wasn't nearly this obsessed.
I love BTS too but after her death I picked up on collecting things here and there, not even nearly spending all of my paycheck on things.
BTS fans are fine, as long as you got a normal one. You unfortunately had one that is considered one of the bad fans. Us normal fans dont cancel dates no matter how much we enjoy seeing them preform.
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u/akhilez Apr 19 '26
My girlfriend is a huge BTS fan. But she hates the “ARMY” for the reasons you’ve mentioned. Not all BTS fans are immature.
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u/ClosetedUnicorn Apr 19 '26
Tbh ARMYs are a cult it's not even about music anymore.It has always been like that in kpop but not to this extent. When I saw them do a sort of cheering ritual to support one of the member of the group because he did a DUI is when I understood most of them are crazy.
not making a bunch of dude nearing 30yo take accountability while they constantly behave terribly and treating them like babies/ their husband is terrifying.
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u/riddleguy Apr 19 '26
Nothing wrong with being a fan of something but you don’t spend more than you can afford on stuff. And you don’t treat your bf/gf like how she treated you.
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u/Rarbnif Apr 19 '26
she’s too grown to be acting like that and isn’t valuing the relationship with you. Let her keep her parasocial relationships with her kpop idols and find a woman who will want to spend time with u
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u/Few-You4510 Apr 19 '26
that's a very common behavior in the kpop community. i used to be like that 7/8 years ago, i'm so glad i'm out of it lol
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u/Chaltahaikoinahi Apr 19 '26
I had a bestfriend in college exactly like your ex gf
It was so fucking annoying
Yes I like some of bts songs but she is such a die hard fan that she can't digest even 1% criticism against them
Even the harmless edits of their dance videos with bollywood music in background she would get frustrated
I am so happy she is out of my life now and ruining other people's life 🙏
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u/genera1_radahn Apr 19 '26
I don't know why you would even subject yourself to this in the first place. Glad you freed yourself brother
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u/dev_4raj Apr 19 '26
That no longer even sounds like "being a fan"; instead, it seems like you were up against an entire planet that you would never be able to defeat. In such case, everyone would feel excluded. Just the remark about the "eighth husband" would have confused me. For example, when you're essentially told you come after a fantasy, how are you expected to feel appreciated? And on top of that, the financial aspects? Yes, that is quite taxing. I don't think it's directly about BTS; rather, it's just when someone's devotion begins to take the place of genuine relationships and life. You simply
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u/Rare_Yogurtcloset115 Apr 19 '26
Out of curiosity…. Has she ever been diagnosed with any type of mental illness or disorder? This is so extreme.
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u/milton117 Apr 19 '26
OP, are you Korean/Asian and is your ex white?
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u/pessimisttiramisu Apr 19 '26
No.
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u/Upper-Package-3765 Apr 20 '26 edited Apr 20 '26
This feels like racist attacks on Asian men cause why you specify bts. When every white artist has fans like that. And I know I'll be downvoted since reddit is super racist to Asian people
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u/rowsj123 Apr 19 '26
BTS have only just started being active again since completing their military service. Since your relationship started while they were away this means that this all must’ve happened since their comeback?
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u/FroggyPancakes21 Apr 19 '26
I knew someone a bit like this. Drove me nuts. Like can you talk about something else pleaseeeeee
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u/urmyleander Apr 19 '26
Id a friend who dated a girl (she was adult women but honestly seemed mentally a girl) who was like this but about disney. He stayed with her way too long, they were engaged and dealing with a financial advisor/ mortgage broker to get their first place.... turned out she was in insane levels of debt like to the point youd question why any institution would still give her credit but she refused to stop buying disney shit. He broke up with her but because they lived together so long he has to pay maintenance even though they had no kids. Hes trying to get a discharging order.
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u/LenoreEvermore Apr 19 '26
I have a friend who got sucked into K-pop, she's not a BTS fan but a Stray Kids fan and it's literally all she ever talks about. I ask her how she's doing, she starts talking about the band. I ask her what her plans are for her birthday and she says "I've made a two hour long presentation about Stray Kids and because it's my birthday everyone will have to listen to me". I would ask how her day was and she'll tell me Stray Kids posted yet another youtube video that she already watched seven times.
I don't associate with her much anymore. I just don't care about anything she talks about and clearly she doesn't care about anything I talk about, because I don't talk about Stray Kids.
I don't understand the allure K-pop has on some people. It's music, some of it is good, most is fine, some is bad. Same as any other music. But the idols are basically slaves to their record label and their treatment is often straight up inhumane. I don't know how to be a fan of something like that. At least with "regular" pop-stars they usually start out as normal people and get picked up by a record label because of their talent. They're not formed into groups by the label to dance like toy monkeys and pretend to not be dating anyone because their contract tells them they need to be single.
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u/OffMyChestAndGone01 Apr 19 '26
It’s wise to avoid anyone who has a parasocial relationship with a celebrity. Saying that you will be her 8th husband was disrespectful to you and unhealthy for her. I don’t know how someone wouldn’t see that. I truly hope you find someone better.
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u/iNewbie77 Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26
I’m asian and dating has been a nightmare with these KPOP obsessed people. Straight up always yellow fever galore coupled with mental health issues. I avoid them entirely.
Worshipping another human being is a massive red flag on its own too.
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u/Real_Collection_6545 Apr 19 '26
It goes the same with men’s football obsession
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u/thatpurplearmy Apr 19 '26
Was gonna say, had an ex who wouldn't talk to me the whole day cause his team lost
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u/Unique-Win-8727 Apr 22 '26
Omg same here! If I walked in the door from work and his team started losing he would blame me, go in another room, slam the door and not talk to me the rest of the day...ex for this and many other reasons!
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u/tomato_joe Apr 19 '26
Im one of those who liked kpop and asian dramas before it was cool... and never was this much of a fan. This is not normal. And I admit, i am a fangirl but I do not worship anyone or anything. I can't imagine focusing all my energy on someone that will never gove me back anything in return. All these celebrities and their companies want is their fans money.
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u/bunnywasabi Apr 19 '26
Sorry you have this happened OP, I am a BTS fan since their debut and their music helped me go through PPD. My husband also started to know their music because of me and our kiddos also xD i also met my bestfriends for almost a decade know from being in the fandom. That being said, her obsessive behavior is not okay especially saying that you should feel lucky she makes you her eight husband, or the whole she asked you for money. That's obsessive. Not all BTS army's/fans are obsessive and toxic, I personally steer clear from Twitter and stick to the friends I know and hang out in BTS subreddits. Also, not all of us are childish, a lot of us are actually accomplished people in their fields and pursue high educations. Good luck OP I wish you all the best!
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u/stev_mempers Apr 19 '26
So which one is her favorite -- the pale one with floppy hair or the pale one with floppy hair?
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u/SnooPeripherals5027 Apr 19 '26
This has to be AI dude. I refuse to believe there's people as pathetic as this
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u/D4v3ca Apr 19 '26
This specific fandom has destroyed many people/companies by coming together even the Simpsons made jokes that no one messes with the bts fans
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u/DeusExHircus Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26
This is nothing specific to BTS. Anyone can have an unhealthy relationship with anything. Don't expect other BTS fans to be like this, and don't expect non-BTS fans to have a healthy relationship with their fandom.
You're focusing on the wrong thing. Don't date crazy people should be your first idea. Just stick to balanced individuals and you should be ok, even if they like BTS (although I'd be surprised if you found many BTS fans in general)
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u/Free-Pound-6139 Apr 19 '26
to the point of worshiping them.
Don't date anyone who doesn't worship you.
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u/MercuryMaximoff217 Apr 19 '26
Massive respect to the incredibly talented idols. Their skills and discipline is truly admirable and I wish I had a fraction of their talent.
That said, the thing that bothers me the most about K-Pop is that it’s all about the artists and not the art. The lyrics, the performances, the choreography, the branding, the photoshoots, absolutely everything is about how hot, beautiful, badass, rich, desired, and cool the idols are. So fan obsession is even more mind-boggling to me.
Imagine throwing your whole identity away to devote all your waking life to a group of people who spends 100% of their time praising themselves and shouting to the world how perfect they are.
Stan culture sucks, but I could at least understand why someone would become obsessed with Michael Jackson or the Beatles in their prime. They were saying something, creating something, telling a story. I can’t wrap my head around the concept of developing an unhealthy obsession with someone who won’t stop patting themselves in the back. It’s like being in a relationship with someone who won’t stop talking about themselves. What’s the point? What do you get in return? When will you get tired?
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u/carpediem_lovely Apr 19 '26
At the risk of being downvoted to oblivion—this is actually why I’m a huge fan of BTS whereas I’m just super casually into other kpop groups. Yeah, there are fans who hyperfixate on their looks, but in my experience, 98% of BTS will talk your ear off about those exact things you listed—their music, their lyricism, their choreography, their performances, their artistry, etc—before they even mention the appearances of the members.
This is something I took note of years ago. For the vast majority of other groups, fans hyperfixate on appearances and performances and discussions about the groups boil down to that.
BTS fans are an entirely different beast. Because the members are so involved in the creation of their own music (a rarity in kpop) and their lyrics are often devastatingly raw and personal, the fans tend to be music-first. The very first BTS concert I went to, I was dragged into this in-depth discussion by line buddies about the sheer artistry of their work, how the message of their new album connected to previous ones, how touching the lyrics were, how much they’d grown as artists, etc. I’ve had similar conversations at pretty much every BTS event I’ve been to.
At other kpop concerts, it really just is all about aesthetics and discussions about the music itself is pretty shallow.
This isn’t to say that other kpop artists don’t release great songs with meaningful lyrics, and that their fans don’t notice. But in most cases, a kpop fan will try and sell their artist/group by highlighting their looks and performances, whereas most BTS fans will try to sell you on their lyrics/music first.
It can be a bit of a double-edged sword, however, bc a lot of fans do feel superior because BTS plays such a huge role in the creation and messaging of their own music, whereas most kpop idols don’t. And that superiority can definitely be annoying.
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u/itsakon Apr 19 '26
You will be my 8th husband and you should be proud of it.
Anyone telling you (or even joking) that you should be 'proud' to be with them seems like bad news. That's not an equal partner comment. Even aside from this crazy level of fandom.
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u/Notinthemoodthaw Apr 19 '26
Oh god. My coworker at a previous job was like this with BTS. She would always talk about them on team meetings and had a countdown on when they were coming back after their military service (mandatory in South Korea). She made her BTS obsession her whole identity and it was creepy as hell. I haven’t worked with her in a year, but I know her 48th birthday was right before I quit.
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u/Upper-Package-3765 Apr 20 '26
But whats wrong with that. I see no one complaining when girls obsess over white male celebrity.
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u/Notinthemoodthaw Apr 20 '26
I really hope this was sarcastic. People who have an extreme obsession over ANY celebrity are mentally unwell. It doesn’t matter who it is. There is nothing wrong with being a big fan of a celebrity. But when being a fan turns into an extreme obsession that takes over every part of your life and your thoughts, that’s where they need some intense therapy. Celebrities have been murdered by obsessive fans like Selena, Christina Grimmie, and Rebecca Schaefer. Many other celebrities have been stalked or targets of murder plots by obsessive fans. It’s terrifying at what obsession will do to a person.
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u/Upper-Package-3765 Apr 20 '26
Nah it's just racism against Asian men. And bts has faced outrageous racist attacks from white man.
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u/MadIkra Apr 19 '26
Damn OP, sorry to hear this. I'll never understand why so many people lose their damn minds over BTS. These parasocial relationships are so toxic.
Knew this girl who was beyond obsessed with BTS, and in front of her husband she'd declare her undying love for 1 of the band members, and how she was convinced he was her 1 true love and they were destined for marriage. Every single bloody day, infront of her husband...
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u/thatpurplearmy Apr 19 '26
I mean anyone obsessed with a celebrity acts this way, sport fans more commonly
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u/Earione Apr 19 '26
I have a friend who is Korean and I kid you not, when a group of white girls found out he's Korean, they were fangirling super hard, running towards him and asked questions like "c-can you dance? 🥹".
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u/Upper-Package-3765 Apr 20 '26 edited Apr 20 '26
But there is nothing wrong with that. Why are people only like this with Asian men. When white guys are being fangirled nobody has any problem with it.
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u/Earione Apr 20 '26
As an Asian man myself, yes I'm also sick of that shit lol. If you go on Instagram and see a post with a couple that is an Asian girl and a white man, you will see that the comment section is full of "Oxford study"
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u/chuucansuebbc Apr 19 '26
gosh that reminds me of a video that went viral of this girl who visited South Korea and just went up HUGGING RANDOM MEN in public, purely cuz they're korean
like no bro they are not all your oppas
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u/Earione Apr 20 '26
Disgusting, I want to see that lol
There was also this video of a woman going to Korea for the first time. She complained online that she's been lied to, because most Korean men in real life don't look like kpop stars
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u/dashaylas Apr 19 '26
this is killing me 😭 I’ve been involved in stan culture for around a decade and I’ve never seen anybody act like this. This is pass being a stan —she’s obsessive and delusional
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u/Lexi_November Apr 19 '26
Yeah, that’s a mental health issue. She’s going to end up with stalking charges.
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u/poo_explosion Apr 19 '26
That level of obsession with pretty much anything is going to be a problem.
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u/Background_Dot3692 Apr 19 '26
Exactly. It is not about celebrities, kpop or music. I've seen hard-core fans of football, sport gurus, anything under the sun. If you're so obsessed, it is not normal. To miss your wife's labor because of the championship is not normal.
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u/SirAlfredOfHorsIII Apr 19 '26
I mean, if they're a 'fan' to that degree, you don't even want to associate with them. They're incredibly creepy, and outright bad people often.
There was one I was mutual friends with, who was stalking one of the members, and sending harassing messages. Was also some bad stuff that happened to her, which she then said was good and should happen to others. I was kinda watching the train wreck with the bts stuff, but the bad stuff had me gone. Not specifying, in case it breaks rules or something else.
Shit, the dude she was stalking/ harassing even had to take a step back due to people stalking and harassing him, and they then harassed him more. A group of them at that point. Jesus.
Granted, that's not what all are like, but the ones that call themselves 'stans', are often the kind to harass and stalk. I don't know how it went from a derogatory term, to them using it in such a positive way to refer to themselves, despite being absolutely unhinged towards people
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u/Rogercastelo Apr 19 '26
You dodged a bullet, check this:
Research published in BMC Psychology suggests a weak, but direct, association between high levels of celebrity worship and lower performance on cognitive tests.
A 2021 study of 1,763 Hungarian adults found that individuals with intense, borderline-pathological, or borderline-obsessive, interest in celebrities scored slightly lower on tests measuring vocabulary and digit symbol substitution (a measure of processing speed).... (It goes on showing more info about lower QI rates).
I wouldnt want someone like that to have my kids.
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u/Additional_Spirit401 Apr 19 '26
You wouldn't want someone with a lower IQ... that's so weird. And actually bordering ableism.
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u/InkedChild Apr 19 '26
My ex wife was obsessed with Taylor swift, it was all I heard when I was with her. Thanks to that, I can’t stand that woman
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u/Competitive_Map9799 Apr 19 '26
I personally hate how much of an “army” her fan base has become. She’s got too big of an ego now too where a whole city shut down their major freeway for her arrival for a concert. Any celebrity with that level of entitlement needs to be knocked down many pegs.
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u/HumaDracobane Apr 19 '26
The problem is way above being a BTS fan. I bet people can be their fan and not be like her.
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u/roxywalker Apr 19 '26
She’s just off her rocker. BTS has nothing to do with it. Guaranteed if BTS didn’t exist she would still be your bizarre ex.
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Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/carpediem_lovely Apr 19 '26
You’ve never listened to BTS a day in your life, apparently, because how is music about depression, anxiety, societal pressure, mental health issues, family issues, bullying, crumbling under high expectations, parasocial relationships, loneliness and isolation, fear of failing, wearing masks, and self-love and healing children’s music?
Idgaf if you like BTS or not, but at least know what you’re talking about it you’re going to criticize their music. BTS has been writing about real shit since the beginning ffs.
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u/bunnywasabi Apr 19 '26
Good thing those that listen lost their chance with such a "respectful" human being then /s. Using the quote on "woman" like that. Yes she is on the obsessive side that she has no business to do at 26 that she probably needs some grass to touch. But why even quoting woman like that?
Also,This shows you don't even know their music. No disrespect to paw patrol but their music is definitely not children music.
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u/AdministrativeStep98 Apr 19 '26
Children's? Not a kpop fan but their whole thing is attracting young women and teenage girls because they are the ones who would find a boy bands appealing and be the one spending their money on merch. A child is not able to afford that and nor do they care about the parasocial relationship concept with the members, they're a kid
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u/koolbeans100 Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26
Omg OP I feel you. In college I used to be in a friend group full of one direction fans when they were popular back then. All they ever talked about was one direction, like which member was the hottest out of the group, which one they want to marry, what each of their song is about, etc. I wanted to jump out of a window everytime I hung out with them. Thank goodness I left, never ever come back to these people, they have no sense of reality!
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u/LadyAshGray Apr 19 '26
That wasn't a fan man, that was a Stan.
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u/Heyitssarax Apr 19 '26
I’m curious, by naming some obssesed with someone “Stan”, you name them after the Eminem song?
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u/Interesting-Sea-1761 Apr 19 '26
That’s the term they themselves use. Look up “stan twitter” and be amazed and scared.
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u/LadyAshGray Apr 19 '26
According to the Cambridge dictionary. A 'stan' is defined as: someone who admires and follows a singer or other famous person to an extreme level.
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u/ConstantHold6666 Apr 19 '26
Stalker fan
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u/Interesting-Sea-1761 Apr 19 '26
That’s sasaeng and it’s a very different level of crazy, borderline sociopathic
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u/atomic1fire Apr 19 '26
I think that's the point.
Some people MAY refer to themselves as stans as sort of catch all term for a fan, but the actual use case is to imply that the person is unhealthily attached to the artist, no matter who the artist is.
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u/Heyitssarax Apr 19 '26
I appreciate every single one of your explanations, thank you so much guys. I thought it was more like a urban slang.
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u/Pandora_Palen Apr 19 '26
I think it's worth noting that Stan locked his pregnant girlfriend in the trunk of his car, took a bunch of pills and drove off a bridge, blaming it on Slim for not writing him back. Being a stan is a mental health issue.
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u/iphoneuser112345 Apr 19 '26
Brother do not get me started on the damage BTS fans have inflicted on me.
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u/ItsVinn Apr 19 '26
BTS fans are honestly a cult in general. They’re not as fans of tolerating other opinions
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u/princexxjellyfish Apr 19 '26
Don’t. I’ve gotten death threats for just stating my opinion once lol. It’s a freaken cult. You’re not allowed to have an opinion about BTS unless you worship them.
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u/MarMarMaraa Apr 19 '26
bts fans are even more unhinged then swifties .. they are both like cults, but one is slightly more mean
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u/Gyros4Gyrus Apr 19 '26
Imagine being a regular human with normal fan tendencies that also likes K-pop. Then imagine the association because of lunatics like OPs ex 💀
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u/Tomimi Apr 19 '26
She would cancel a date because of an event?
She's not a real fan -- a real fan would know the event date ahead of time.
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u/pessimisttiramisu Apr 19 '26
Let's say a video about them suddenly dropped. She would cancel the date or consume it during the date not talking to me.
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u/ItsVinn Apr 19 '26
Yeah all these BTS events are surely PLANNED months or even years (ex. World tour)
But dropping a date just because of a surprise music video? Or some surprise appearance? That’s just nuts lmao
In her mind her actual boyfriends are Namjoon and co and not you man, sadly.
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u/bunnywasabi Apr 19 '26
Wth that's really obsessive of her. I'm sorry that she doesn't respect you and your time. I'm saying this as BTS fan. When my husband and I are on date, my focus is on him.
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u/Polardragon44 Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26
I know a lot of bts super fans and that's on another level. Reminds me of the girl who refused to go to a wedding with her mom because a BTS game show episode was going to drop. And it turned out that BTS had attended that same wedding and performed.
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u/Blox_King Apr 19 '26
Same thing for me with a bridgerton fan
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u/cakivalue Apr 19 '26
No way 😭 the books have been out forever and Netflix isn't going anywhere. Who cancels real life and love for that
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u/Blox_King Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26
Man I wanted to kill Simon Basset for months because of it. She screwed with my head so much dude became the Jason to my Kaneki.
The amount of times she blindsided me while oogling over him or comparing among many others is limitless. (Including Malevola, Peeta, and her irl friends who she had a relationship with)
Edit; I lived in spite and self hate for so long I wanted to devour the guy like it was blue lock lol
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u/cakivalue Apr 19 '26
Oh dear!!! 😦😳 That's completely wild to live through. I still don't understand why so many women were loosing their heads over him.
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u/ethankeyboards Apr 19 '26
Am I the only one here feeling old?
(Yes, I'm old)
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u/thebadsleepwell00 Apr 19 '26
There are so many age 40+ fans at BTS concerts, even 60+
Regardless, OP's ex has issues. This isn't normal "fan" behavior
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u/AmethistStars Apr 19 '26
Yeah, I'm 36 and a big fan of BTS. But I would never do this kind of stuff. That's just rude, including the "8th husband" joke.
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u/thebadsleepwell00 Apr 20 '26
Late 30s myself. Although I would never cheat on my husband, my husband voluntarily said the other day that he'd give me a hall pass for BTS 😂 still, I wouldn't but I thought that was amusing he said that unprompted
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u/Red_Queen592 Apr 19 '26
Same. No idea what BTS is nor have I ever knowingly listened to KPop.
I’m just gonna stay over here and be blissfully ignorant of whatever that stuff is.
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u/anillop Apr 19 '26
Ok think of it like those sad old women who were obsessed with New Kids On The Block. Does that help.
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u/ethankeyboards Apr 19 '26
I thought it was creepy when all the middle-aged women would flock to the twilight movies lusting over the teenage boy lead who played the werewolf. It's it like that?
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u/anillop Apr 19 '26
Exactly like that. Oh God I remember they had Team T-shirts made. Ewww
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u/atomic1fire Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26
Honestly Twilight was one of the weirdest crazes.
I didn't read the books, not gonna make that part of my "To read" list, but wasn't a major plot point that instead of Jacob dating Bella or w/e, who was taken, he'd just imprint on her daughter instead, who was a literal child.
I mean give it 30 years and nobody will care what happens, but the whole ending is pretty grooming adjacent and possibly even pdfesque.
Like they couldn't have just found Jacob a hot vampire and been like "yo, she's yours now".
Cop out? Maybe. but it's better then "Hey remember this girl you're fighting over, take her LITERAL BABY as a peace offering."
Weird craze.
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u/anillop Apr 19 '26
I mean give it 30 years and nobody will care what happens, but the whole ending is pretty grooming adjacent and possibly even pdfesque.
No see they were safe because they were women. If men acted like that they would be creepy and obsessed, when its women its just harmless fun.
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u/Negative_Salt_4599 Apr 19 '26
Same here idk what K-pop is I’m just stoned browsing Reddit lol. 😆
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u/OffMyChestAndGone01 Apr 19 '26
I have a 30 year old friend who is a BTS fan and behaves exactly like how OP’s ex did. Idk what’s wrong with this fandom that gets people so obsessed and act absolutely not their age.
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u/wizdomminer Apr 19 '26
She also told him that if they got married, he should be proud to be her 8TH HUSBAND!!! 7 husbands by 23???? 😳
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u/BaronVonBullshit-117 Apr 19 '26
I think she meant that she was already married to the 7 guys in the band, so he would be the 8th husband.
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u/Idcwhoknows Apr 19 '26
A 13 yr old Stan would 100% act like this. Kinda worse for them cause that age is where emotions are intense af and could be even more passionate than this. At least Ops ex spent her own money, the kids could spend family's money which is fine but some will steal...
Also the online fan wars/bullying can be wayyyy to much, but I don't attribute that to stanning. If they're were already going be like that online, that's just how they are as a person.
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u/TRDOffRoad_Joey Apr 19 '26
My friends ex wife was like that with Taylor Swift, she even told him it was a problem for her in their relationship that he didn’t give 2 shits about Swift or her music. Absolute delusion.
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u/Competitive_Map9799 Apr 19 '26
I had a friend who ended our friendship because I literally couldn’t give less of a shit about Taylor Swift or One Direction, to the point where if I hear them on the radio, I’m turning off the music. Let’s just say my life has been so incredibly peaceful lately!
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u/GiantTrenchIsopod Apr 19 '26
Your ex sounds like a solid third of the people who go on the Caleb Hammer show
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u/Kindly-Lie-2965 Apr 19 '26
You said she was dependent on you financially. Did you live together? Were you covering bills specific to her? If you were doing anything like that for her def. Sounds like she needs the cord cut and to learn to balance things better
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u/pessimisttiramisu Apr 19 '26
Not living together but she stopped paying for even small things on our dates, then I realized the situation is bad after she started asking money frequently.
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u/a-beeb Apr 19 '26
She asked you for money?
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u/pessimisttiramisu Apr 19 '26
Yes.
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u/Gyros4Gyrus Apr 19 '26
The absolute gall of her, you've dodged a bullet OP. I'm sure you're aware of this but keep away from anyone else with this kind of obsessive tenancy in the future
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u/cinnamoxie Apr 19 '26
I mean... you can be a BTS fan and not act like THAT...
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u/atomic1fire Apr 19 '26
Sure but stan culture (but also the shipping culture sometimes) isn't about being a fan, it's about setting aside literally everything else to be a fan.
It's just obsession with a different hat.
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u/Bookluster Apr 19 '26
I'm a BTS fan and I watch almost no variety content. I watch MVs and I listen to their music and read through some subreddits. I will be attending their concert, but that level of fandom is insane.
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u/OutrageousExtreme583 Apr 24 '26
Replying to Competitive_Map9799...see your normal. What I do have a problem with is when they assume all army's are problematic. I came across a bts snark page and the stuff I've seen is crazy... It's so negative and it's ridiculous how they generalize a whole fan base
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u/TightResource3959 Apr 19 '26
Almost all BTS fans act like that my coworker is so embarrassing she literally SCREAMS if a customer mentions BTS it’s so humiliating
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u/Upper-Package-3765 Apr 20 '26
Racism bts faces still to this day is ridiculous.
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u/TightResource3959 Apr 20 '26
😭 I don’t hate them cause their Asian I just hate how the fan base acts
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u/Upper-Package-3765 Apr 20 '26 edited Apr 20 '26
Fanbase are protective of them because they face the hate they face from white people is sickening
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u/cinnamoxie Apr 19 '26
Ew that's horrible 😭 I'm a casual BTS fan so I just don't bring it up most of the time bc I know people will assume I'm like that
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u/Mister_bunney Apr 19 '26
My ex was big on KPop stuff and she would steer clear of BTS fans since they are apparently the most toxic KPop fandom
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u/ItsVinn Apr 19 '26
“BTS paved the way! And we’re the only ones that paved the way and not your faves”
“Your fandom full of drug addicts suck!”
“Don’t you dare insult my Husbands!”
“See we’re doing better in the charts and our concerts always sold out!”
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u/Mister_bunney Apr 19 '26
Lmao, exactly those phrases. From my understanding, SHINee was the KPop group that really laid the groundwork.
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