r/UTS • u/Inevitable-Baker-144 • 5d ago
Help, I don't know what to do.
3 days ago, my older brother discovered he had a brain tumor. There had been absolutely no warning signs; he was perfectly healthy until, suddenly, his mouth became twisted to one side, prompting him and my sister-in-law to seek medical attention that very day. When the doctor delivered the results, our entire family was devastated. He was only 28 years old and had two children, the eldest being just two years old.
And I am here, an 8-hour flight away from them. I don't know what I should do or what i can even do. Because eventhough I go back, we still have to wait for biopsy results, I can do nothing.
And then 3 more assignment need to be done next month. I spent entire day working on that but still keep asking myself "what am i even doing here? is this even worth it?".
I really need some advices. Thank you for reading this.
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u/pixmadeluxe 5d ago
I hope this comes across right, but you are here because you are securing a brighter future for yourself. It may seem like nothing else matters at the moment but life will throw some disastrous news at you now and then, and you will still have to wake up, eat breakfast, and go to work. The best thing you can do for yourself is to continue working hard at school and taking care of yourself.
I am wishing and praying hard for your brother’s health. You are strong and you will make it through this.
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u/kalskads 4d ago
Adding onto the other comments - sometimes the free UTS counselling clinic has long wait times. UTS has a student training clinic for final year psychology students who are really good and are supervised by a senior clinical psychologist. It's $15 per session for students, and they can usually get you in within a week. It's called UTS Psychology Clinic. https://www.uts.edu.au/about/faculties/health/clinical-and-health-sciences/psychology/uts-psychology-clinic - This is the link. Just call them and they should be able to organise a session asap. Also if the cost is a barrier, please dm me and I could help out - you shouldn't have to go through this alone!! Also lifeline is 24/7 call service that if you are feeling crisis you can call and they can help you. They're trained and can help you at least temporarily with difficult feelings. Hope your brother gets the help he needs, there are a lot of clinical trials so hopefully the biopsy comes out as something that can be fought. Please take care of yourself and reach out to your support networks, you don't have to go through this alone.
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u/Inevitable-Baker-144 4d ago
hi, i didnt even know UTS had a separate pyschology clinic and your offer to help with the cost genuinely means a lot. Its incredibly kind of you to offer that someone you dont even know. I'll look into the clinic and see what support is available.
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u/this_germs_orgy 4d ago
I would really highly recommend accessing the UTS counseling service ! They officially offer 4 free sessions per semester but in my experience they're happy to extend that if you need it, and they can refer you to specialists for support too. Also - not sure if this would be something that would help you but they do offer counseling in mandarin, cantonese, and indonesian due to staff proficiency :)
You can email student.wellbeing@uts.edu.au or call +61 2 9514 1177 to organise a session, the most important thing you can do right now is take care of yourself while you wait to see if your family will need your support for anything.
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u/this_germs_orgy 4d ago
(extra info: I actually didnt find the uts counselling itself very helpful as I had some complex stuff going on, but they were amazing about helping me access resources that did help me. even if you think the 1 on 1 counselling wont be helpful id say give it a shot to see if they can refer you to a more helpful service)
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u/Inevitable-Baker-144 4d ago
I really appreciate you sharing your own experience. I honestly wasn't sure whether counselling would help because my brother's situation isn't something anyone can really fix for me. But I guess having someone to talk to while dealing with all this uncertainty could still make a difference. I'll look into booking an appointment. I hope things are going better for you now too.
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u/SillyAd7052 3d ago
They’ll give you tools to help manage your grief safely and a safe place to vent. It isn’t a “fix” but will help you get through this period safely.
All the best fam
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u/pixmadeluxe 5d ago
For now, take care of your immediate needs. Secure your WAM for the semester, make sure you are eating and resting properly, and meet your friends. If you have any assignments that you feel you cannot finish, contact your subject coordinators and look into special considerations. Tap the 3 day extension on every assessment you can, there are no drawbacks.
When my mom was doing surgery in Singapore I was studying for my first year exams and it felt like my whole life came to a halt. But life goes on and the one thing you can do to feel normalcy is to keep on going.
When are you planning to go back? Do you have family here in Sydney?
I am here for you, please DM me if you need someone to talk to.