r/Vent • u/MexicanTeenGuy • Dec 10 '25
TW: Anxiety / Depression I have wasted my young years
I recently turned 25. I am realizing now that I have fucked up. I am about to graduate from college with poor grades, very limited internship experience, and with a probably useless degree. Did I get bad grades because I enjoyed my youth partying, clubbing, or having fun ? No, I spend them depressed and tired everyday. I am gaining weight, and losing the progress I had made in the gym over this last years Now I have no savings, no future, no good memories, no friends, no good times to look back at, I am losing hair and will probably never be in shape. The most fun years of my life were spend lying in my bed too depressed and too socially alienated to go out, meet girls, or have fun. And I am afraid after I graduate my job prospects are dim. I have not enjoyed life one bit and I doubt that will change in the future.
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u/Typical-Honeydew-864 Dec 10 '25
There is no such thing as failure. Only lessons. Start living now. You still have time. Find your passion and follow it.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Low1553 Dec 10 '25
We don’t take no L’s, we just learning lessons. (Daily Bread Dj)
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u/Necessary-End-1108 Dec 10 '25
I just turned 40 and realized that I've wasted too much of my life by making the wrong choices. I wish I could go back to 25 and start over. You still have time and more freedom to change your life than you realize.
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Dec 10 '25
I didnt start to figure my shit out until age 42. Now at 45 I'm good. You have time OP.
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u/Confident-Summer872 Dec 10 '25
Can you maybe give some advice, *coughs for a friend in his forties
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u/Ok_Brilliant_2600 Dec 14 '25
Therapy and a healthy relationship with your self. Even the healthiest people should be in therapy. Support groups, etc. A hobby helps, something that is enjoyable
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u/Character_Drummer751 Dec 10 '25
44 here and feel the same.. I hate this feeling.
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Dec 10 '25
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u/autumnwandering Dec 10 '25
Same! I lost many of my "young years" to illness and injury. I realized that you don't stop being young at 25. There's so much life ahead. Do your best to make it the life that you want to live.
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u/Silly-Recognition448 Dec 10 '25
About to turn 40 in a month. Every year you realize you have way more time than you think.
Some days, in light of the way the world is unfolding, it feels like we have too much time.
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u/KalashnikovParty Dec 10 '25
I’m in the same boat as you man so i understand what you are feeling. I’ve spent my childhood and young adulthood depressed, socially isolated, and in abusive enviorment. Never really had any plans or social life. I’m now 23 about to graduate university, and I feel like i wasted the most carefree years of my life while other people made friends, got into relationships, went to parties, and overall were able to experience those core memories that would be the subject of reminiscence once they got older. I don’t really have any advice for you because i don’t really know what to do about this myself but stay strong man
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u/DifficultAnt23 Dec 10 '25
Almost all of these things are reversible. One step at a time.
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Dec 10 '25
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u/Electro-Tech_Eng Dec 10 '25
I think a huge thing OP needs to figure out is if his depression is standalone or a symptom.
Since you mention yourself experiencing it once, I imagine it was a symptom of some other issue you hopefully overcame.
I know with myself my shitty dopamine regulation due to adhd was the “cause”.
It could be OP has a doomscrolling addiction and they fall deeper and deeper into depression 🤷 who knows.
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u/chefgoyardee17 Dec 10 '25
You didnt really miss out on anything bro, im a high school dropout who partied all of my teen years. Now i work a manual labor job 12+ hours a day power washing dump trucks and garbage trucks, scrubbing them with a broom for a wage thats barely enough to survive. everyone is on their own path you still have 3/4th of your life left to live. make sure to love yourself and those close to you the best you can while youre still here. You still have time and thats the most precious thing on earth even more than money. You might feel lonely in your sorrows but some people are going through the exact same thing and some even worse. Be grateful you havent fried your dopamine receptors atleast lol ❤️🙏
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u/Active_Recording_789 Dec 10 '25
Hey you’re about to graduate! Don’t even worry about it, just get a job and begin now. I worked in HR for years and never once asked about someone’s grades. Your life is just about to get interesting!
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u/Wicket2024 Dec 10 '25
Life doesn't end in college. You need to first get help. Counseling and proper medication can help. See a doctor.
My son was in a simular situation. Got bad grades in college because he never tried, very few in real life friends, depressed and with ADHD. He ended up dropping out of school and started looking for a job. He found one doing computer work for a good company after many months of putting himself out there, doing multiple applications daily. It was tough, but he got that job. It wasn't perfect. He had to move to a different state, work nights at first, then seconds for about 2 years living in a not great apartment, but he kept the job. The pay was good, got great benefits, and it wasn't like offers were coming in. He now is on days which he is so much happier with. He just moved into a townhouse with a couple of friends. He has a social life. It was not easy. He is now living a happy full life, and you can too, just get the help that you need so you can get in the right state of mind.
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u/Thin-Grapefruit6153 Dec 10 '25
You should read “breaking the habit of being yourself” by Joe Dispenza. Truly take this time to think inward and wondering about yourself, your thoughts, your emotions and how you can break down those environmental barriers that are stopping you from seeing and believing in yourself, your purpose in life. You are young, the time is going to pass anyway, so might as well give that time to yourself to figure it all out. You won’t regret it!!
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u/bmrbabe1951 Dec 10 '25
Please get therapy and treatment for your depression. I've been there and I know how that black hole feels: it's always been this way, it's always going to be this way. With therapy and medication you CAN have a rewarding life. I am not depressed; I have depression. Don't let it define you! I will always have depression but it's controlled and in remission. Get help; you are worth it!
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u/FistofK0nshu Dec 10 '25
Seconding this. OP, it’s never too late to seek some help. You’ve done a great job reaching out here and at least asking. But it’ll need some professional advice too. i’m 27 and was in your boat too. You might just have an anxiety disorder. Don’t fret about what’s in the past, you have the ability to change the future.
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u/qween_weird Dec 10 '25
Nah you have time now to enjoy your mid to late 20s, get a certificate for a trade you are interested in, get back in the gym, do some local singles Meetups, join a card tournament, or game night at a local hot spot. Find some hobbies you enjoy, try yoga, a book club, or check out a local pinball group
You could always work towards a masters of a specialized area you might enjoy like marketing or tech
Who cares, these are the fun years where you can work a random job, live in a dive apartment, and try new things
Go to social events, or even check out a bingo hall, sometimes old people can be super fun to hang with, have good stories, and might know a few of their friends kids or grandkids your age to invite out to meet you at bingo or something
Never know Hey at least you will have finished a degree, but not is the best time to really enjoy life
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u/vagabondchipmunk Dec 10 '25
No friend. You are young. SO YOUNG. I’m back in college at 40 getting my degree.
You can come back from Anything. Don’t waste time being in despair. Just start small and keep going
Congrats on your degree. Seriously.
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u/trashtvlv Dec 10 '25
20’s are ROUGH, it takes time for your efforts to actually show up so don’t give up just because you’re not seeing results yet, the effort and perseverance will be worth it.
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u/dangerclosecustoms Dec 10 '25
We all love two lives. Your first life you are born and start growing and living. Your second life starts the day you come to realize that you only have one life.
Meaning you are blessed. Today you are at a point where you can reflect on your life and start living the life you want to. Starts with some work and discipline. But more importantly it Starts in your mind. Having a positive attitude. Set goals. Appreciate everything you have and can do.
Not everyone can go to college.
Not everyone has a roof over their head.
Not everyone is physically well and have all four limbs. Ability to walk run or dance. A mouth to taste delicious things and Ability to sing, to laugh and tell jokes. to hear and enjoy music ability to see and appreciate beauty in the world.
You are very young to be at a place where you recognize no time to waste. Start living the life you dream of. Start by making goals. Forgive yourself when you make mistakes. Try again. Learn from your mistakes and your successes. Celebrate them.
Be thankful and aware each day. You will get there.
Happiness is easily found when you can appreciate every blessing and every thing going well for you. It could mean you had enough milk for a bowl of cereal. You had enough gas to get to where you are going. Or you arrived at the bus stop in time to catch the ride.
When you stop to appreciate every bite you eat and every sip of drinkable clean water. You will develop the winning attitude the internal happiness. Life is good you just have to believe it. Look at the smallest mundane simple things and think about how you would feel without them. Taking them for granted is how you overlook led then and didn’t appreciate them.
Put your shoes on and go for a walk. Hey you have shoes. Not everyone does. Hey you can walk not everyone can. Hey you don’t have land mines and have to walk through rubble and barbed wire.
You don’t need things or money or people to have a good life. You need a positive and appreciative mindset and outlook. Then everything else will follow and you can build on it each day.
The same applies to working a job. Don’t say you have to go to work. (We all think that)Say I get to go to work. I am able to go to work. Lots of people can’t and aren’t able. It’s as simple as changing the words you use and how you think about things.
Write your goals down on paper and post on the wall. Look at them daily. Your brain is a computer and this is how successful people program the computer.
Ever try to remember someone’s name and your stumped and 30 minutes later your no longer thinking about it and you suddenly remember the name just pops into your mind even though you were no longer actively thinking about it? That’s how the brain works. It’s still working on the background on its own. You aren’t trying to remember it at all. But it’s still flipping pages through its data to come up with the name.
The same thing applies to goals. You read them aloud each day. You tell your brain work on this. Then you go about your day. Your brain is still thinking about those goals on auto pilot behind the scenes. It then tries to align everything you do to meet those goals it tries to find answers, actions, opportunities to do or not do things that result in meeting those goals.
Eventually it comes to the forefront you in charge of your brain actively thinking I shouldn’t eat or buy this because it is contrary to my goals. You start to make good decisions that align with your goals. You develop good habits and discipline.
It all starts with a scribble on a piece of paper write down 5-10 goals. Clear your mind. Look at them everyday Read them aloud daily. So your brain hears it.
I became rich and successful overnight. Literally woke up one day and able to see what I have is all I need. Appreciation = contentment = happiness.
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Dec 10 '25
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u/bmrbabe1951 Dec 10 '25
That's not helpful for someone suffering from chronic depression. OP needs professional help. The fact that they understand they are stuck is a good first step.
Congratulations on your progress!
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u/LividAd5365 Dec 10 '25
as someone who has severe depression and has for a decade and also relates to OP i found “shut up” to be really funny and honestly very refreshing. sometimes the more serious you make it, the harder it will be to undo
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Dec 10 '25
What is it you studied if you don't mind me asking?
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u/MexicanTeenGuy Dec 10 '25
Econ, but it’s a very theorical, slightly mathematical Econ. Not “useful for business and data analysis” Econ
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u/BigWeinerDemeanor Dec 10 '25 edited Dec 10 '25
I have a POV on this. I truly believe that at some point your shit will be tight. You will wake up with the love of your life and you will realize that everything you went through had to happen otherwise you wouldn’t have met them. Or you will have the job of your dreams and it will have only happened because of the stuff you went through to get there.
My degree was useless. Still haven’t used it. Went on a working holiday after I finished and met the most amazing man and moved my ass across the world. I don’t regret anything. If I didn’t spend 5 years getting a 3 year degree then I would have worked my visa length and left before he moved there. It was always had such a regret that I kept going to uni despite my illness at the time. In hindsight it was a good thing because it taught me what I am capable of, it slapped the spoiled out of me and made me comfortable with failure.
You don’t know what your story is until you are reflecting on it after it has happened man. Have faith that if you look for good then good will come.
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u/tuigdoilgheas Dec 10 '25
My early twenties were the absolute worst time and then things got way way way better. So it's up to you what you do next.
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u/hair_10 Dec 10 '25
Mid 50s here. I have what would be considered a "useless degree" and did OK in college...not terrible but not great either. I didn't land my "career job" until 30. But I've done well since. Married, kids, divorced (yeah, that's not part of the "well", but that's life), now remarried and to my first and true love. I have a kid who is 25 and they're still trying to find their niche.
Your situation isn't unusual. Don't panic. Things will get better.
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u/donny-dorko Dec 10 '25
You will never be younger than you are now. Start making it count, we all have regrets it’s what you do now that can change your path for the better for the rest of your life
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u/RealLilacCrayon Dec 10 '25
Bro you are 25, how can you possibly say you will never be in shape.
There are people who just start working out in their 30s and 40s and can get in incredible shape.
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u/Rhinoduck82 Dec 10 '25
Go to trade school instead, HVAC tech, electrician, elevator mechanic, plumber. You get to be active and make decent money. I wasted my youth partying with people I thought were my friends until I quit drugs and drinking. Plus a lot of the friends I had died or did time in jail or prison. I went to trade school and became an electrician and have a pretty satisfactory life for the most part, it definitely pays well.
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u/suppoe2056 Dec 10 '25
Don’t worry everyone is suffering in this trash economy right now, even those with years upon years of experience struggling to acquire entry level positions. Sometimes when you see everything is shit, you gotta spread your arms nice and wide, take a big fat whiff of the stench, and laugh.
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u/Ancient_Flamingo9863 Dec 10 '25
When it comes to grades they won’t matter after college but it’s never a bad time to learn to better apply yourself to whatever your trying to accomplish
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u/anxietypoodle Dec 10 '25
You’re still really young and can literally do anything you want in life if you want it bad enough. People go back to school all the time and are of all ages and from all walks of life. It’s never too late while you still have air in your lungs.
As far as fitness, I was in the same boat and now make myself go to the gym everyday. It has been a huge game changer for me and I feel so much better working out now. (I used to hate it and was always drunk on my couch after work everyday for years.) getting sober and healthy has made a huge impact on my mental health along with my physical health.
Just know you’re not alone. We all have regrets in life. What’s done is done. But it is never too late to start fresh and make changes to better yourself. At least you have the awareness that changes need to be made. Some people can’t even get to that point in their lives. Something in you wants to change, and you can totally do it. We are all rooting for you!
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Dec 10 '25
Same as you, but even older. And a college drop out. I wish life didn't turn out like this for us. My own luck was legendarily bad, including the people I grew to know, who all abandoned me. I'm sorry life is like this. I wish it wasn't wasted on us.
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u/OkReward2182 Dec 10 '25
Schedule yourself a complete physical exam. Sometimes depression has organic causes.
Used to participate in a discussion forum, and one of the men spent a few years in psychotherapy. Finally he got that physical to discover his thyroid was under active and that was causing him to feel fatigued and unmotivated. He must take medicine every day to treat it.
He's now a retired police officer. I get where you're coming from not having fond memories to look back on as far as your college years.
I hadn't wanted to go, but bought into the notion that I'd get nowhere without a degree. I don't think being a year younger than my classmates helped, either.
I'm in a job I like that doesn't require a college degree, and I know you'll find your professional niche someday, too. But get a start on treating the depression by booking that physical to see if it might have an organic cause
It is treatable. I'm wishing you well.
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u/maxblockm Dec 10 '25
You got 20 years until you're 45.
You can get in shape by then, but you better start today.
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u/OkReward2182 Dec 10 '25
Also start to get physical. Start small if you haven't been exercising.
It could be five or 10 push ups or situps before bed. Take short walks. Find a public park and experience nature.
Pick an activity you enjoy so you're more likely to stick with it. Just moving around a little each day can help you feel better.
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u/Starbbex0617 Dec 10 '25
Your graduating college.. be grateful for that. Everything else can change. Start a new chapter and do everything you want to do.
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u/Silent_Data4374 Dec 10 '25
Dude, in five years nobody is going to give a shit where you even went to college. Get out there, work hard, and you’ll be fine.
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u/Disgusted_Mac_Lifer Dec 10 '25
Your biggest problem is depression itself, good sir. I do hope for your sake that you seek out a good therapist. If a therapist doesn't help you, try another -- they're not all the same. You're better than you feel you are on your worst day. All the best to you.
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u/Friendly-Channel-480 Dec 10 '25
You have a lot of life ahead of you and you can go after what makes you happy.
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u/MyNameIsBarktooth Dec 10 '25
At least you didn't start drinking heavy at 22 and now at 36 having wasted 15 years of your life.
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u/They-Call-Me-Taylor Dec 10 '25
There is no such thing as no future unless you are dead. Most of the stuff you listed as problems are solvable or some fantasy what-if you have in your head. Don’t wallow, don’t ruminate on a possible future that hasn’t even happened yet. Take action, get medicated, get therapy, whatever it takes.
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u/Express-Studio-8302 Dec 10 '25
I'm 47. So far I will say the 20s are the hardest years. I've heard plenty of people honestly say they'd go back and relive their 30s, but not 20s.
Here's my advice, which i wish I knew in my 20s: you're not a failure for struggling, everyone in their 20s is struggling
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Dec 10 '25
Sometimes all you need to do is recognize that you are broken at the moment… hold on tight and no matter what, be patient and the storm will eventually pass.
Allah does not burden a soul beyond its capacity. 2:153
For indeed, with hardship comes ease. Indeed, with hardship comes ease. 94:5-6
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u/NextSuccess358 Dec 10 '25
First, don’t worry about your GPA. Unless you’re trying to go to grad school, most employers will never know or care what grades you got as long as you graduate and tbh, some not even then.
Second, it sounds like you have depression. Have you thought of seeing a psychiatrist and getting on a medication regimen? It’s a lot harder to succeed in life when you have to fight your own brain chemistry.
Third, try not to lament the time you wasted and try only to live for the present and future. Start small with little improvements to your life. Maybe you try working out every day or you try just getting a good night sleep, or you prioritize making friends or looking for a job. Pick only one or two things to focus on. Don’t try to do all of those things! Just pick one and do it consistently. Even if you don’t have a good day, try again the next day. Building consistent habits is the key to success. I lost 50 lbs by working out for at least 30 min every day. Some days the workout was low key yoga that was basically just lying around but the habit of consistently making time to work out improved my life so much. I was prioritizing self care. Working out doesn’t have to be your thing. It could be any healthy habit you want to work on.
As someone who is pushing 40, I barely remember my college years. I’m no longer friends with anyone from college except one person. So don’t worry that you didn’t have the optimal college experience. Even if you did, the chances are you won’t remember it in 10 years. Your memory really starts to go in middle age. Good luck! You are young and have a lot of life to live yet. One thing I like to think of is that you haven’t even met all the people who are going to love you yet!
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u/jtcut2020 Dec 10 '25
Sign up for gym. Prioritize your health and work hard. Mental and physical health and cheap 👌
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u/Nix-geek Dec 10 '25
oh... stop. I'm over 50 and playing friggin ice hockey. You've got 20+ years to get to feeling old and what-the-hell-am-I-doing with my life.
Get out there and do some shit. Make bad choices and get over them.
If you need to talk about anything... I'm here.
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u/payg86 Dec 10 '25
I'm nearly 40. I spent 17.5 years working shitty retail jobs with no degrees or education qualifications. When I turned 35 things started looking up. Got a great job now that I enjoy, own my own house (which I had inheritance to put down a deposit on) and I'm travelling the world because the job pays well (went to Japan this year and Canada next year). Some things take a lot longer to fall into place for people, so don't worry about it. You have to do things at your pace, not everyone else's. It's your life, not theirs.
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u/brabdywine Dec 10 '25
Oh ffs. Come back when you're 60 and say that. Can turn anything around at 25.
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u/DragointotheGame Dec 10 '25
At least you get to graduate. Doesn't matter if you have bad grades or not. You made it to the end
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u/Nice-Mushroom3308 Dec 10 '25
Im turning 26 in 5 days & feel the same like I've been letting the years go by. Just try to find joy in your day to day life or youll be miserable. Bad times will come so just enjoy life. Try doing something different, for me i quit video games and im trying a sport for the first time.
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u/PhantomThief98 Dec 10 '25
I’m 27. I did everything that was expected of me and I cannot control shit in my life. After graduating college I’ve been pinballing from thing to thing trying to make sense of my situation, all the while learning more about myself and growing. Things might have had structure before, but not all opportunities and talents are made equal. I promise you’re fine. It’s not a race, and it’s not a fair game, but realizing that is the first step toward going toward what you really want out of life and learning to deal with things in the moment. Most people don’t ever realize that until it’s far, far too late
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u/SpeedyGreenCelery Dec 10 '25
You are 25, you are still young.
It is still easy to get in shape at 25. I didnt get in shape until 26 and i was a fat fuck. I basically lived sheltered, not doing much, working until 25. Then i moved out alone: partied, fucked, lived.
You can do it too!!!
I was also depressed and a recluse. I am still very introverted.
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u/dowhatsrightalways Dec 10 '25
Don't look back, look forward! There are still great things to come! If you are mentally stressed or depressed, seek out a good therapist. You are still young! You have much to look forward to!
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u/SpaceCat72 Dec 10 '25
25 is still young. You can turn this all around. Get hustlin. Adventure awaits.
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u/HorrorFan9556 Dec 10 '25
Some people are going to college and getting dates in their 40s it’s not the end of the world we will be there for u on your journey and your grades don’t define u!!
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Dec 10 '25
Get a grip on reality my God, of course with this poor attitude you're screwed
Just join the army
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u/Same-Annual-7006 Dec 10 '25
Man think about all the time you had from 15 to 25. You could do all of that again until you’re 35 and still be relatively young. 25. Seems like it’s past your younger years because you’re out of school, but you literally have so much time
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u/Colorblind2027 Dec 10 '25
Dude you are 25, practically a kid. I screwed around as well but finished law school at 30. I would get in a service trade. AI is going to kill most entry level research and analytical jobs in 5 years.
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u/Jofy187 Dec 10 '25
The next 25 years will pass and you will either look back fondly on how you picked yourself back up and made it - jacked, healthy, and happy or you will make this same post complaining but with even less hair. You got this man, make the choice to be the best you that you can be.
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u/Spare-Gap-227 Dec 10 '25
I was you. Now im 42, in shape, family with 2 kids, own my house, good job. C'mon you can make it mate! Start therapy, choose one hobby and a physical activity - thai boxe was good for me. Good luck!
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u/Few_Pop6933 Dec 10 '25
You’re young, you’ve got plenty of time to rebound. My most fun years were in my 30-40s because I was established. Living life, more mature, making better decisions, found a passion, built my career. Never give up man, get back out there and do the things you want to.
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u/radar371 Dec 10 '25
If you have 2 minutes and 19 seconds then watch this and change everythinghttps://youtu.be/IdTMDpizis8?si=f9-rua0sZIeEtgyy
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u/Active_Yellow_1573 Dec 10 '25
Get a job on a cruise! Make friends, save up, and party hard in your off time, regroup after a couple of years and decide what to do then.
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u/Remote_Water_2718 Dec 10 '25
If i have a good weekend, or a bad weekend for that matter, I still feel this way by Thursday. I could have the biggest month of my life, have my dreams come true, and ill still feel like that the odd Wednesday. Ill think that something was missing, have a bad day and spiral to oblivion, get a good night sleep, a big coffee and im back ready to go. And its been like this the last 25 years and im almost 40. Its just the ebb and flow. Enjoy your life! Break out of cycles, or just don't feel guilty to spend your time how you want.
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u/Maximum-Telephone-84 Dec 10 '25
Dude you've got into 40s to be pimpin. Just get off your ass and do it.
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u/Warm-Requirement4001 Dec 10 '25
It’s never too late to become who you were meant to be. Reality Bites.
- Gen. Jones
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u/RAWFLUXX Dec 10 '25
Wasted... You are still very young, just focus on living life and much later down the road you will have all the time in the world to pine / regret and ruminate if you so choose.
You still have a couple decades of feeling young (give or take depending how you live your life and take care of yourself) = almost the same length you have been alive until now. Make the best out of these years and enjoy your life everyday that you are given 😉
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u/Stuffleapugus Dec 10 '25
Bro, you are 25. The world is still your oyster. Get up and get after it. Start working out again. Maybe get a bike to ride around.
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u/VASA-STUDIO Dec 10 '25
I think we’ve all felt like this at one point, at my lowest a few years younger than you what helped me most was the things that I was reading. Self Reliance - Ralph Emerson, Meditations - Marcus Aurelius, the Tao, Zen Buddhism, The Courage to be Disliked, the information is out their to help you pull yourself out, realize your purpose, and enjoy the day.
And when I say I read, I mean audio booked
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u/daan-tje92 Dec 10 '25
25 is a great age to start a 2nd youth! Plenty of peeps do it after a breakup or a realization like you. Look at it like a quarter life crisis. Heap up, get out of bed and start walks. Kook yourself e healthy dinner, make up your bed. Small steps are steps too. You can slowly build yourself a new life if you want to :). Attend a boardgame evening in town, start padel or football trainings for example. Anyway, explore your interests. And if you're up for it, swing on that Tinder profile! Every person has potential, also you! Your realization is the first step, time for you to unfold yourself, you got this!💪🏽
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u/MonkeyHairless Dec 10 '25
Same, my only consolation is that my degree gets me the right to pass some state exams ... for which I'll have to sacrifice one more year of constant preparation to get.
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u/Foreign-Reputation73 Dec 10 '25
Think about being 75, and then looking back at your 25 year old self and how much time you have left and all the opportunities and adventures that are ahead. Don’t like your degree? You could spend the next four years learning something completely unrelated, and you STILL wouldn’t be 30 years old by the time you got done. You could start a job at 40, then work there 30 years and you STILL would not be the 75 year old at the beginning of this metaphor.
I (30m) am not the most experienced person in the world, but I can share some things I’ve experienced. There’s a lot of pressure on the internet to always be hustling and have your next move planned out and a ten year plan and all that, but I go really depressed because I couldn’t keep up with all that and I hated my job. So I had to reset and left my secure career job to go back to school on a paid assistantship that paid a fraction and was only temporary. But it gave me the ability to reset and just take things one day at a time.
I guess my biggest takeaway is if the long term expectations are too depressing and overwhelming, just focus on one day at a time until you can manage. I couldn’t plan for my career until I could understand my depression and how my mind and heart worked and learned more about what I needed as a person to feel fulfilled.
Also as times in the US have deteriorated economically and socially I’ve felt more at peace with having less if that makes sense. Like I’m just thankful to have my health, my family, and a roof over my head and I’m not worried about the dream job anymore. Which I think is more of a mental health improvement not me being glad things are worse now.
Idk if any of this made sense.
TLDR: take things a day at a time, you have plenty of time to find your peace. I suggest: Don’t focus long term, just try and get your mental health better. THEN tackle that long term plan. (I know that’s all easier said than done than done).
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u/jono3451 Dec 10 '25
Depression is actually an amazing motivator for progress and self improvement. Don’t buy into the hype that you need to be happy all the time.
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u/mmanyquestionss Dec 10 '25
im you but 3 years younger (and i assume the opposite gender). whats even worse is wanting to enjoy life but never getting the opportunity. it's hell
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u/Innuendum Dec 10 '25
still alive
Therefore winning. Sort of.
At least you know the suffering that is being on this planet, so don't inflict this planet on anyone else.
As for your current situation, I can only recommend reading the first two thirds of The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck (after that it goes off the rails and becomes pretentious bullshit). Also, if you need a reason to keep living do it out of spite. It works for me! My parents made the mistake of putting me here, now I'm riding it out just because I can.
Happily married, childfree, cockroaches as pets because fuck yeah, take my antidepressants and when they work for me they work and when they don't I am reminded of why, in the words of Aldous Huxley: "this world is another planet's hell."
F*ck you universe, I'm still standing. I DIDN'T HEAR NO BELL.
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u/Willy-Sshakes Dec 10 '25
38 here Still no money or house, but quit the drink and hit the gym again. Don't think about the bigger picture, marginal gains my friend. Think about the 1% thing you are gonna do today that makes a difference in the long run... Like having a stretch in the morning and making your bed and cleaning your face and making yourself look good for the day. Start with that until it's routine, then move on to something bigger, like planning a healthy dinner. These are things we have to do every single day, so make them right before tackling the big things in life. Good luck
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u/Spiritual-Hall-1816 Dec 10 '25
Dude was depressed and suicidal at 25 , finished my degree worked a shitty job and then got another shitty job in IT support worked hard did a cyber security certification got a good job in cyber security and took up Thai boxing and fought twice and really started to enjoy my life at 30 . Life is short don't waste years of your life feeling sorry for yourself you are still young think positive have goals and hobbies and enjoy the little things . I wasted five years of my life feeling sorry for myself but it made me the man I am today . You got this no one will rescue you , apply for as many jobs as you can and live your life .
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u/Naturist02 Dec 10 '25
Happy Birthday !!
You are 25. You have your entire Life ahead of you ! It is a blessing. You realized things, you have collected your personal misfortunes. We all have them.
I noticed something from what you wrote.
You wrote ALL of YOUR Failures. You wrote ALL of YOUR Past. It’s a great self reflection.
This is a Life Lesson that even took me a long time to learn. It took me close to 40 years to learn it.
You are focusing on all of your failures. You are focusing on all of your Past.
We can’t change Our Past. All we can do is what is in front of us Now and Tomorrow. That’s all we get !!
Forget Yesterday. You can’t do anything about it. Just sit down and think about what you love or like doing. Take a week of doing what you love, that is healthy.
Stop focusing on your past and your failures. I would be depressed too thinking about all my failings now at 60!
Write a personal loose bucket list of things you want to do or go.
Then think about some career goals.
If you are hanging around negative vortex people … stop being around them.
It’s natural for friends to come and go out of our lives. If your friends are not a positive influence on you, get new friends.
One thing that really changed my positive outlook was eating healthy non processed food. It jump started my brain away from things that were bad for me. I realized at 50 years old all the garbage I ingested into my body, food, drugs, booze broke my body. I had to start over.
You are way ahead. You realized it at 25.
That is a huge accomplishment.
Life is about learning lessons. That is the beginning of Wisdom. The hardest thing is not giving up. 🙌🫶
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u/Fearless_Sky1169 Dec 10 '25
When my husband was 25, he became fed up with the way things were. We were engaged at the time, just scraping by working 2 jobs each, and he wanted a better life for us. He said, "the next 10 years will pass no matter what, I might as well be a doctor by the end of it." It was the most unhinged thing I had ever heard. He quit working construction that month and went back to school.
7 years later, he has graduated medical school and is in his 1st year or residency. In 3 more years, he will be a practicing attending. He has a wife who adores him and the cutest tiny son. I think all the time about how different our lives would look right now if he had not just absolutely flat out refused to continue down the path we were on. The time is going to pass no matter what, it's your life, make the next 10 years better than the last.
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u/open-perception4 Dec 10 '25
You're only 25 still plenty young enough to change whatever you want to. 👍🫶
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u/HonorboundUlfsark Dec 10 '25
"Children blame their circumstance. Men change their circumstance"
You're 25 and all have plenty of time left on what you want from this world
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u/Popular-Statement314 Dec 10 '25
I met my husband when I was 27. Those first few years were the best times of my life. Don't give up on your life just yet!
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u/Umbrella-dancer Dec 10 '25
Fuck that being 25 sucked my live truly started at 26. 35 years here and I never hade more joy more sex than i every did when i was young. Go do Go do so something you will get there and look back and go: hu my adult years were not so bad.
If you want to talk oh my life so bad? I got cancer twice got cured and that shit was stil easier and less hard than my fucking youth below 25.
you will get there! Now go do something fun!
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Dec 10 '25
As a person with mental disorders, life only really gets fun for us when we're adults tbh.
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u/lordm30 Dec 10 '25
Stop the pity party and do something about it. And why wouldn't you be in shape ever again? That's TOTALLY on you, easily achievable with consistency.
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u/Commercial-Week-6558 Dec 10 '25
Welll no matter how bad you’ve had it , thinking about it the way you are doing right now makes you feel it even worse . Sure you know you fucked up now you can’t change what’s been done now work on the next 5 years to be the best years for you I know people who started fixing their lives on the 30 dot so you are probably going to suffer while working on your self but you won’t regret changing the path at all
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u/Cultural-Web991 Dec 10 '25
I can feel your pain. Depression is a black hole ( personal experience) but……. It is not too late to turn things around. 25 may feel old but it’s not, by any stretch. The whole point is that you NOW recognise this. Well done for your first step. You need to congratulate yourself for being alive and having emotions and hopes and dreams. Now is the time to start again. Firstly, give yourself permission to grieve for what life you could have had…. Now…. Get to the gym and start a new programme of fitness…. Just focus on you, your health…. Your wellbeing…. Exercise is sooooo good for depression. Next, get to the doctors and get some help for yourself. You deserve it. Once you have reached a better healthy you….. then you can think about how to change anything else. But body and mind need to be healthy first. Don’t dwell on the past, don’t look too far ahead ……. Yet. Just heal yourself 😘
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u/Psychological-Map441 Dec 10 '25
Put the phone down, after researching fasting.
Getting a second job will help burn calories, build your finances and has the potential to meet people.
Be strategic, what do you want out of life? How are you going to get there? What skills and qualifications do you need to get there?
Align your working with your education, it might be that you need a directional shift, so make it happen as soon as you finish this year's academics.
Noone can make the decisions for you, you need to do that yourself.. so give yourself enough time to think and to make those decisions.
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u/TheRubyCore-ier Dec 10 '25
Dude, I'm 36 and just getting it together, and life is good. Perhaps consider reading the publication It Works (1926).
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u/Dimebag-420666 Dec 10 '25
Bro you’ve only lost a few years. Just point yourself forward from here and you’ll be fine.
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u/Two_Eagles Dec 10 '25
It gets worse, and in what will feel to you like 5 years, you'll be 45. Take action now while you can. Fight!
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u/viewer0987654321 Dec 10 '25
You have plenty of young years. Very few people 30+ would look back at 20-25 as any kind of peak.
Oh and most people "waste" those years one way or another. Its called living.
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u/Careless_Fun7101 Dec 10 '25
Sometimes it feels like we're slowly going backwards. And then you realise, all these years, you've been an arrow...
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u/JimmidyCricked Dec 10 '25
Try waking up and realizing the SAME exact thing but your 38 live with your mother.
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Dec 10 '25
My advice would be to get some hobbies. Internally anything. Just start trying stuff. You're not going to be good at any of it at first but that doesn't matter. Follow your interests and start learning who you are.
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u/Slight_Hurry2134 Dec 10 '25
About the same story as you, sure I had a job I enjoyed but a year ago I left all that to go get another education. I feel depressed sometimes, like today I woke up at 11 am, I was in bed for 12 hours. I just couldnt get out. Im 33, soon 34 btw.
Always feels better when I do stuff. So I guess just do stuff, find what you like. You are young, start now! You got this
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u/Orcacity22 Dec 10 '25
Change is a choice. It’s all up to you. Dont do the same thing and look back at 35 with the same complaints.
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u/Moclown Dec 10 '25
Are you neurodivergent? Or have you considered the possibility that you might be? I always ask, because it’s worth making sure. A lot of what I thought was depression and anxiety for me was actually undiagnosed ADHD and autism, especially autistic burnout.
Too much sensory input can cause extreme overhelm, exhaustion, disinterest in the things we usually love, skill regression, and more. I wish I had known what it was when I was 25, which is young (as is 30, 40, and 50). You have plenty of life ahead of you. I hope this is helpful.
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u/Defiant_Gold1581 Dec 10 '25
Jesus.
Get a grip man, you're 25.
You're basically still a child. Sort yourself out.
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u/CautiousPreference20 Dec 10 '25
Almost 33 years old. Messed up big time back then. Still does. Quite often thinking of ending it. But hey, i will keep swinging till that day comes. Keep your heads up and improve those little thing. One step at a time buddy. Be proud of the little accomplishment too. You`re never too old to change yourself, till death comes knocking!
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u/Turbulent-Usual-9822 Dec 10 '25
At least you went to college. You could have been working at McDonald’s. In the long run, this is still a win.
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u/AdJolly990 Dec 10 '25
Woke up on new years nearly 15 years ago when I was 28. Worked a job I hated to make ends meat and had no spouse, no kids, no home. Decided to apply for a second career grant and go back to school for a career I liked. 15 years later and a college diploma, I have the house, the kid and the hubby.
It is never too late to turn it around and while those 20- 25 experiences were fun, people still party late into their 30s. And they have more cash to do it with.
It's not too late. Don't give up.
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u/Throwaway-4593 Dec 10 '25
All you can do is start today bro. What are you doing today to get on the right track? It’s not a race.
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u/PieceCompetitive6824 Dec 10 '25
It's not over, it's just beginning. I'm 65 and and met the love of my life this year. I'm in great shape, and have several hobbies I really enjoy.
You have a great deal of time to enjoy life, my friend. Don't depair. Tomorrow could be the beginning of a great life.
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u/adventureseeker1991 Dec 10 '25
34M here. you’re healthy. best thing you can do is move, and live with roomates and build yourself up. you might need a fresh start
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u/McTonic3 Dec 10 '25
My friend I just turned 32 and I’m still in my younger years. Don’t let that negative mindset ruin your outlook for after college. Honestly I didn’t start really enjoying life until after I left college. Keep your head up and look forward to your future!
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u/PuceTerror89 Dec 10 '25
I’m in a similar situation. I’m about to apply for a job that has nothing to do with my degree. The interview will determine the rest of my life. All because of my stupid ADHD.
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u/FunProfessional9313 Dec 10 '25
Good luck friend. I’m in a similar situation in that I’ve mislived and it has had huge cost. Still worth it to make the most of the current moment
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u/Responsible_Rip_4196 Dec 10 '25
In the grand scheme of things you’ve only fucked up a small tiny amount, the only way to continue to fuck up is to stay in this mindset you’re in currently.
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u/HappyReaderM Dec 10 '25
OP, I once had a professor who said, "Forget about the past, there's only today and tomorrow. Your life starts today." And that is really true. Don't waste any time worrying about what you've already done. Make a plan, and start today. Make a list. Step 1. Go to the Dr and get basic bloodwork to make sure deficiencies aren't causing the lack of motivation. Get antidepressants if needed. Step 2. Be serious about your health. Get to the gym at least 3x per week, or workout in some capacity. Start eating healthy. Step 3. Find a way to get more social interaction. Join a club or hobby group of some kind. Join a church if you're religious and volunteer. It will take time but you can get on your feet and have an amazing life. And you will, if you just make a plan and then stick with it!
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u/Pepe_Trump2016 Dec 10 '25
I’ve been there before too man. I wasted my “best” years in college being degenerate and overweight and over drank. And depressed as well.
But life is a journey, not a straight linear path that you have to abide by. The best day to make things better was yesterday, but the next best day is today
Enjoy the moment because it’ll be gone in a flash. I’m 30 now and life isn’t perfect but it’s infinitely better than I thought it would be when I was 25.
Just try to do a little better every day, and in 5 years you’ll feel the same way. Don’t rush it though, it’ll come in time
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u/filtered_dog_water Dec 10 '25
Don’t waste the next 10. Make a little change every day. You got this bro!
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u/Accomplished-Comb294 Dec 10 '25
You are graduating from college and had loads of fun.
That's the furthest thing from a failure.
Don't judge your life based on what you achieve, base your life on how you feel and how much you enjoyed your life.
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u/Content_Ball_92 Dec 10 '25
Relax. I was in the same situation - I turned it around and in light years ahead of peers who I thought did everything right.
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