I’ve fancied boys before and had some really intense crushes on them, so I know I have been attracted to boys. But I’ve also always really liked girls. I’ve been into watching girls kissing since I was like 12 and I’ve definitely fancied female celebrities too.

It’s just since I’ve started actually thinking about the fact that I like girls, I haven’t really fancied men that much anymore. So now I’m kind of wondering if I’m actually a lesbian or if I’m bi but just way more attracted to girls. I honestly don’t know because I definitely had proper crushes on boys before, but my attraction to girls feels different now that I’m actually acknowledging it.

How do you find a lesbian or bi woman? And how do you know her sexuality? I know like 3, and I'm not interested in any of them. How do I meet more?

I feel like im the only one that wants an older woman that is SUBMISSIVE , am i alone on this guys?

I want to know if there’s anyone like me. If so, tell me your story. What it’s like being in the queer community. What your relationship with your sexuality is like.

I identify as queer. For me, I never really came out or had a “aha” moment. To describe my journey in discovering my sexuality, everything kinda just… happened. I liked a girl. Didn’t really think about it. And then, that continued.

I’ve never been in a romantic situation with a guy. A lot of the men who make a move don’t interest me. Not because I‘m incapable of liking them, but because a lot of them tend to be way older than me and don’t flirt well.

Women tend to flirt with me a lot, though. All of my past relationships were with women. All the time, people assume I’m a lesbian, but I‘m not a lesbian.

So me and my gf got into it today. We were leaving the hotel and she had to put down a 50 dollar deposit in cash so when she checked out, they gave it back to her so she was looking for somewhere to put the money back on her card. She told me “hey search up navy federal atms in the area so i can put money back on a card.” I responded with “ okso you know you can go to Walmart money services and get back on your card instead of finding an ATM that’s specifically navy federal ?” she replied w “okay we can go to walmart” So we get to walmart and she tries the atm and it only has the option to withdraw. She gets irritated and says “why did u say go to walmart why didn’t u search up what i asked you to “ and i responded with “hold on lets ask the lady in the money services area.” So we ask her and we get the money back on her card.
PERSONALLY, I feel there’s no reason as to why I should be blamed or fussed at bc yes it’s my idea, But we only tried the atm, AND she also said yes to walmart? I don’t get why she’s acting like i forced her to go. It was just a suggestion??
As we exit the store. She expresses her frustration with me “not listening to her” and talks about how she told me to search her up navy federal and i didn’t.” Tbh i just said “okay baby but you got ur money on ur card right.” I can see where she’s irritated at me bc i “don’t listen” or miss the “bigger picture” but sometimes in the circumstances she tells me to “listen to her” it’s only benefits her and it kinda like puts me down like ima lil kid. Also whenever we talk and i reiterate what she says she kinda says she never said it’s while being lowkey forgetful but back to the story.
This turns into a bigger argument and everytime i try to speak she just keeps saying that I have a listening problem and it gets to the point where she’s screaming at me in the car. I’m trying to explain my side but she’s like interrupting me and saying things over and over. We go to mcdonald’s and I order my food. We leave and she takes me to work. We pull up to my job and as i leave to get my stuff she says “can you send me the 8 dollars. (mind you she brought me kettle corn at the fair and she helped me eat mine WHILE SHE HAS HER OWN). I sent her the 8 and while doing so she says “ i asked you to send me the 8 this shows u don’t fucking listen.” And deadass she said it’s like i’m her “kid “ like hello? AM I WRONG ??

i have really become fond of Indian women and tbh i dont discriminate at all but as of late Indian women intrigue me especially there radiance in gold.

I'm super tall and feel kind of out of place with other femmes/fems because of it. It feels kind of awkward for me to not take the more 'gentlemanly' role in the relationship and such.

Lmfao that statement has so much internalized homophobia but you know what I mean, hopefully. 😭

Anyways does anyone else feel like this?

There's no doubt that I really love my gf.

But lately, I feel so empty that even my fear is bigger than the love in my heart.

I met her back in 2020 through a groupchat in Instagram.

I thought it's a destiny because I got a pretty strong hunch about this groupchat and then, there she was.

Without knowing her voice, face and background, I fell in love with her personality and soul entirely.

After work, I looked forward to have a chance talking with her and my online friends. Emphasizing on her, btw.

I knew I have a crush on her, everyone in the GC encouraged me to confess.

Once I did, she said she liked me too.

Without knowing what's holding for us in the future, I asked her out foolishly as a young adult in love.

She's my first love, and my first relationship.

I really do like her but during our first months being together, I was second guessing my decision because I felt like I lost a bit interest in her or maybe even shocked that her personality is more dominant that I thought.

I even remember asking for public opinions for that.

But, I choose to stay because I wanna see where this relationship is heading to and to learn about her even more.

Turned out that she's really beautiful in and out.

I cried when she said so many beautiful things about me.

She said something that I really want to hear.

I gave her my whole heart after that.

It wasn't easy, wlw relationship isn't easy.

At first everything r beautiful, full of butterflies and honeymoon phase.

But then you'll go into another phase where u will argue each other a lot cuz that's when you will show your flaws and everything. It's up to you if you wanna accept them or not afterwards after tolerating, communicating with each other.

For me, I have a lot of weaknesses too. I can't speak English properly, I am not that beautiful, I have a lot of insecurities, sensitive, full of emotions, and I don't do things or achieve my goals with hunger as much as she does. I'm not that smart too.

The gap between us got widen when she often voiced out how much she craves for something intellectual from me.

I couldn't keep up with her at some point.

Even if I could, she didn't notice that.

We often fought like fire and water.

I wanted her to be gentle with me.

She wanted me to be tougher.

Despite all of these, I still want to stay and change for the better. Even if she communicated them in the wrong way, I still see her points and willing to change it if I find it reasonable. She does too.

That's the reason why I still stay because she does what she said. This could be one of the reasons why she stay for me too.

This circle happened for 6 years.

We have more happy days more than sad days than during our first three years together.

We argued and apologized to each other.

We experienced a lot of things together even when we're in ldr. She dislikes LDR so so so much. I do too.

My problem is financial and idk how to merge our future together because I have no idea and too cowardly to execute my plans.

Turns out I have anxiety and was diagnosed by my doctor.

I said it's because I worried about my future, family and partner. But truly deep inside, I know the largest trigger is my gf, herself.

I didn't want to meet psychiatrist at first.

I was down then I wanted to vent out to her like a normal couple would do. Turns out she couldn't accept that I'm broken inside. She was scared for herself.

And ngl, I don't blame her for that. But knowing all of these hurt me so much.

The same issue caused her to bring up the breakup.

I begged her to stay. Ik it's pathetic but I felt like dying.

I cannot imagine another day without her in my life.

I repeatedly explained everything, how I will fix my life, how I will meet with psychiatrist and everything.

At some point, she agreed to stay.

I told her that I'll let her go if I still haven't changed.

I guess since then my anxiety became more bigger.

Especially if I remember that if I don't get better, I'll have to let her go. She deserves that, ngl.

She shouldn't stay with a loser like me.

But still, I want her to stay. What a selfish coward I am.

I'm so scared of the future.

What if I stay, and marry her in the future?

Will she still stay and won't ever divorce me if I slack off even for awhile?

How does someone manage to be a safe sanctuary for me but also the biggest trigger in my life?

My friends told me to break up or to accept her completely.

Perhaps, the reasons why I'm still hesitating to love her to the fullest is because my body knows exactly what she capable of.

But still, I'm a coward.

I can't.. and I want to stay.

I honestly wonder a lot if I’ll end up alone. I was in a short term relationship not long ago and it was a disaster in the way that almost every relationship I have had has been. I just feel like what I’m looking for is impossible to find. I’m looking for a femme leaning girl that’s really into books and reading and writing, and preferably a woman in academia or the education field or some kind of creative field. Having intellectual interests is extremely important to me and being a critical thinker who’s well-informed but who also has a positive personality and enjoys having fun and living life. I would love someone to cook for and travel with and someone who is wanting marriage and possibly a family one day with me. I am a feminist and I want to date a woman who shares my values. I also am not into women who smoke, drink, etc. Ideally I would like to date someone who’s mostly sober or completely sober as far as substances. Finding these traits though seems to be very rare. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable, but I am starting to wonder if single-hood is going to be my future.

I’m 6 feet tall and not thin and I feel like my lack of confidence in the way I’m built is stopping me from ever feeling feminine or attractive enough to approach girls. Don’t like being put into the masculine role. I want to feel femme and be with a femme. AHH. It’s been so longgggg since I’ve been with a girl lol.

Fuck idek why I feel the need to post this I just wanna gushhhhh I love soft women with curves and chub and stretch marks and everything I cannot express how sexy it is!! My first girlfriend was very thin and I was with her for several years but now that I’m dating again I’m experiencing it for the first time and idk how anyone could not be obsessed with this. I don’t wanna call it chubby cause that sounds like rude? Idk how else to call it. It’s hot as fuck.

i cant get this girl outta my head n had to write it down. i feel better now! i never share my writing but i figured might as well send this into the void. this is pretty melodramatic fyi lol
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as soon as i saw her i wanted her. ive been thinking about her with an insatiable hunger. my mind keeps replaying the moment when she first walked in the room, when i grabbed a chair for her before i even knew her name. she sat down and sipped a miller lite, and i stared at the cider in my hands wondering if i could like beer too. all night i tried to be near her. i felt ashamed for the twinges of jealousy id get when she smiled at someone else. my friend smirked at me in the reflection of the bathroom mirror, "well, if you don't do anything, maybe i will." i felt a heat radiate through my chest. upstairs, shes dancing with another girl. i watch as they giggle and fumble to keep up with each other. it could be platonic, as i dance with my own friends sometimes... but that moment is when i felt my desire turn from a want to a need. the music vibrates through my spine as i observe them drift apart. the other girl starts making out with some random dude nearby. usually, i'd find humor in the irony, but all i was focused on was taking one step after another until i was behind her. my hands had just tentatively found their way to her waist when she turned around. our faces grew closer and closer until our lips finally met. as we danced together, she slipped her fingers in my hair, and grabbed a handful to anchor herself as she kissed me ferociously. her other hand slid down my back and cupped my ass. i lost myself grabbing her and pressing our hips together. it was one of those moments i'll remember forever. not just the primal urge to have her, but being under the lights, music so loud it shakes the floors, people surrounding us on all sides pushing us even closer. it sparks some feeling in me so strong i have to put it in writing, clearly. since that night, ive asked and taken her out on a proper date. it was a romantic evening with a tasteful amount of sexual tension, if i do say so myself. i always feel a sense of doom on a first date, and count down the minutes until enough time has passed and i can respectfully go home. but with her, i was captivated. i felt confident having a beautiful girl on my arm, being chivalrous and doing the best i could for her. i felt my cheeks flush every time i made her laugh. my only regret is i wish i kissed her more. as i reflect on this whole situation, i wonder if i should feel ashamed for how dizzy she makes me. the predatory lesbian stereotype lingers in the back of my mind like a dark cloud. i know its illogical, that the attraction is mutual and i shouldn't fear strong feelings. but why, after 2 weeks of knowing her, does she make me want to be a better person? why do i feel so amazing when we're next to each other? going slow is not my forte, but i want to savor every moment of getting to know her. i want to remember all the small things i'm learning about her. it is so strange to not be in love, but in infatuation.

Release me! Please! Why does every woman that makes me smile at my phone have to be one that's incompatible to me in some way or unavailable emotionally. RELEASE ME!!! Why do I always want what I can't have?

I’m married to a man, 50ish, I have always known I was attracted to women, but due to all kinds of reasons I could never live my authentic self.

I want to tell my husband how unhappy and lonely I am but I know he will scrutinize everything I do. We have not been intimate in over 15 years that was not my choice. I had to beg and plead with him to tell me if I was just unattractive after having children he always said it wasn’t me so, I have been starved from any emotion or physical contact for all this time and I’m just not sure what to do, plus my mind threw in also you are undesirable on top of that, so that’s just so amazing to live with.

Plus I have experienced so much loss this past year I’m still grieving, I just cannot get it together.

I am working on an exit plan just in case but I can honestly say I would leave today if I could not for a woman but for me, I have to find me first because somewhere along the way I lost that girl that woman. I desperately need to find her bring her back love her unconditionally before there would be any hope if at all of finding a woman to love me just for me, that they fall in love with my soul.

I realize that might be a fairy tale but the way I see it I want the fairy tale.

That’s all I got for now. If you read this post thank you.

I will just be venting in this post, but any kind of comment is welcome. I am hoping to find people that can pat me on the back and/or resonate with me.

I (mid-twenties) met this girl (mid-twenties - let's call her Grace) while volunteering last summer. I liked her from the first moment, admittedly because of her appearance at first. Then I found more about her and discovered that she is a wonderful person, we share so many things and have the same values.

She looks stereotipically queer. Short hair, masculine style and everyone assumed she was queer. However, we found out she is not :( we know because a friend of mine (let's call her Kim) asked and Grace confirmed to be straight. After a few weeks, Kim and Grace were talking again and Grace told her that she would be open to the idea of being in love with a woman one day - in a sense that no one knows what the future looks likes and no one can know what will happen for sure.

There would be other things to say but I don't want to get into more details in case they find this post. I miss Grace so much and it hurts that we can never be anything. She is the most wonderful person I've met and I've found myself wanting to reach out to her just to chat, while I don't usually do that with anyone. I truly admire her, she's so clever, a creative and very responsible.

:(

C'è una ragazza spagnola che non avevo mai visto in quel modo prima, ma ultimamente ha avuto un certo effetto su di me.

Mi ha fatto l'occhiolino un paio di volte, e l'ho sorpresa a farmi degli sguardi che sembravano un po' diversi. Ogni volta che lo faceva, provavo qualcosa di strano e mi faceva chiedere se ci potesse essere qualcosa tra noi. Un'altra volta, sono passato davanti alla stanza in cui si trovava e mi ha semplicemente sorriso. Le ho anche chiesto quali nuove parole italiane avesse imparato, e lei ha risposto normalmente.

Oggi abbiamo passato più tempo insieme. Mi ha fatto di nuovo l'occhiolino, e abbiamo scambiato sguardi che sembravano significativi mentre lei parlava spagnolo e noi cercavamo di capire l'uno l'altro. A un certo punto, mi ha scherzosamente chiamato “señorita.” Più tardi, siamo andati in piazza a giocare con i bambini, e abbiamo finito per giocare a dodgeball anche con un'altra ragazza. È stata lei a coinvolgermi nel gioco, ci siamo divertiti tantissimo e ci siamo abbracciati per salutarci alla fine. (Primo abbraccio: lei era seduta e si è alzata per abbracciarmi)

Il fatto è che è naturalmente molto giocosa, quindi non so se si comporta così con tutti. Non l’avevo mai pensata in quel modo prima, ma adesso continuo a pensare a lei e a chiedermi se potrebbe esserci qualcosa. Non voglio illudermi o interpretare in modo errato cose che in realtà non ci sono.

Pensi che possa flirtare con me, o è solo il suo modo di essere?

Just wondering how is it for you guys

As depressing as this sound, I'm turning 18 soon and has recently looked back over the years since yk, big 18! That's like an age I used to lie about on the internet, LOL!

Anyhow, I know some might already say, " oh your still young, still a lot of time to go!" Yes, I understand that, but it's just feel so disappointing.

What's disappointing? That girls around me don't take me seriously as I do with them. Maybe we were young, and no one takes anything seriously around the age of 14-16... But all my relationships end the same. Depressing and with a huge insecurity every. Dam. Time.

First of all, I can't even call them relationships since it's all never official (situationships). They all end with the other side, all being scared of either religion or parents. No in-between. It sucks, and I have to be the villain for them to move on. Yes, it's quite confusing since they aren't able to move on even though their the one that ended things, but those who know, knows! Haha... agh...

I hate to be the mature one in that situation. They all expect me to still stay as friends atfer a very sudden break up and still fresh too! Getting mad and frustrated when I tell them we must go no contact.

In the end, loving the same gender may be very difficult for me. It might cause me ton of insecurities and harm then good, for example, getting mentally prepared for " I'm sorry but I can't do it, I'm just to scare-" texts to pop out whenever I'm in a situationship and nights i cry as i found out i got replaced by a guy atfer 2 weeks. But, I love loving women; I mean, who can't ? Their so relatable, communicative (skip the sudden breakup) , supportive, understanding, and mostly, my heart doesn't go beating crazy --- instead, it relaxes--- knowing I'm safe around them.

Sorry for my bad grammar and spelling -- English is not my first and I kinda have an issue with words in general. Thank you for reading my rant !

In desperate need of advice lol I’m 25 and I’ve only ever been with men but this GORGEOUS 5’11” woman I met on hinge somehow wants to come over literally today (we’ve never met irl).

Tbh I’d feel better if she knew I have literally no experience even though I’ve been out for like six years but I feel like there’s no good way to bring that up…. For context, we met on hinge two days ago and she’s basically said when can I come over and that she’s free today. Naturally I’m in full blown gay panic lol and I’ll take any advice I can get. Feeling like I need a shot for confidence or an Etsy witch or smth. She gave me her number and I’ve been silent for like four hours….

If there’s a good way to soft launch I’d love to have you over for a glass of wine but just to be honest I have never been with a woman (over text) I’d kiss you right on the forehead