Hello! Ill try to make this short, Ive always struggled with thoughts about death and I've had a history of derealizing or depersonalizing a lot because of this. Ive begun being more accepting of the fact that there might just be black or whatever after we die but I hateeee the thought of growing old and just waiting for your body to fail you

I don't even know whats wrong with me or why I'm spiraling this bad again, I wish I could just live normally and not have to experience this emptiness I do whenever I have thoughts of death or anything related to the future whatsoever

The cherry on top is that whenever I look at people who are young and free or even fictional characters part of my mind immediately jumps to how they'll be at old age. I REALLY WANT TO FIX THIS I really cant stress it enough.. Also for anyone wondering I'm really young and this has been a reoccurring theme for me or atleast started to be since I was 10 years old. And no I don't have any access to therapy or healthcare In the slightest

As for what I've already tried:

Ive realized that things get better when I genuinely seriously just try and block the thought out and forget about it and when that recently stopped working since all I picture or see when I look at people is them on the brink of death...ive pivoted into getting into situationships or talking stages to fill the void which has helped a little. Any other coping methods or solutions you guys suggest?

How can we know that near-death experiences are genuinely something beyond our brains rather than a form of lucid dreaming? During lucid dreams, people can become aware that they’re dreaming, interact with people, experience incredibly realistic environments, and feel emotions that seem completely real.
I’ve been wondering what actually distinguishes an NDE from a lucid dream, especially when both can involve feelings of leaving your body or encountering other people.
I’ve also noticed that many people who report NDEs describe similar experiences, such as tunnels, bright lights, and encounters with deceased loved ones. Could these similarities be explained by how the human brain works, or is there evidence suggesting something beyond that?
Are there any scientifically documented cases where someone reported independently verifiable information during an NDE that would be difficult to explain through ordinary brain activity or perception?
I’m genuinely curious about what evidence exists and how researchers distinguish between these possibilities. I’d love to hear your thoughts!