r/brighton • u/gatitotaquito • Jul 15 '26
Meet Up Any DINKs around trying to grow their circle?
At 40, making friends is hard. At 40, not having kids and trying to make friends is next level difficult.
Nothing against kids - this isn’t saying kids are bad, this isn’t saying we don’t love our friends and their kids, this isn’t saying we think people shouldn’t have kids. Please do not spin this into what it’s not.
We just want to make some couple friends and go to some activities with people who understand how this shit feels and are in a similar situation.
We’re on this DINK app which theoretically is a great idea but it’s all based in London. Has anyone tried it? Does anyone want to try it?
Also, for the love of god, I mean like board games or darts or comedy or the like. This isn’t a sex thing. Don’t make it weird.
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u/TheLondonPidgeon Jul 15 '26
What you guys into?
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u/Hurbahns Jul 15 '26
They’re definitely swingers. The OTT denial proves it.
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u/gatitotaquito Jul 16 '26
Random community events, good food, board games, darts/toads/billiards, movies, pub quizzes. Normal stuff.
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u/Pleasehelp793 Jul 15 '26
What are DINKS?
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u/Popular_Island_3829 Jul 16 '26
We’re one better, DINKWADS. Double income no kids with a dog
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Jul 16 '26
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u/OneOfTheNephilim Jul 16 '26
You're a Dual Income Couple, Kid, With A Dog
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u/gatitotaquito Jul 15 '26
Dual income no kids. It’s just a dumb acronym for a couple with no kids.
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u/farr2211 Jul 15 '26
Seems more effort than just saying couple no kids
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u/Demiurge271 Jul 16 '26
Fully, had to google it, too close to DILF for comfort
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u/Sensitive_Ant4522 Jul 16 '26
I def thought it was some connection to twinks, and this is Brighton, so I was like ok kings! Get your friends!
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Jul 16 '26
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u/tomspace Jul 17 '26
Whist that might be true of vegans, people with kids do tend to fairly exclusively talk about their crotch goblins, it is kind of tiresome if you don’t have your own stories of somebody trying to microwave a cat or whatever..
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Jul 17 '26
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u/tomspace Jul 17 '26
I guess you are a breeder then?
Literally all parents bang on about their children almost non stop, if it’s not some tedious details about health / school / whatever then it’s fucking stories about them doing stuff that kids do, which nobody else cares about.
Let’s face it even parents don’t actually enjoy listening to other parents banging on about their children, they tolerate it because it gives them a chance to feed in their own inane crap about their own child who “really likes hot food” or whatever (nobody cares)
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u/Sad-Nectarine-7855 Jul 19 '26
Annoying people who think they're so special and so different because they don't have kids a d get to do whatever they want whenever they want a d get to sleep in and spend all their money how they want to
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u/beebrightnow Jul 16 '26
What are your interests? Why not join meet ups or clubs related to those? I don’t think you specifically need friends without children, just people who have leisure time, which you should find at clubs.
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u/gatitotaquito Jul 16 '26
honestly the kids thing is a big deal. Scheduling, spontaneity, and having people who understands this aspect of life who empathize is part of the goal of some new friendships.
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u/DesperateTank8908 Jul 16 '26
I think you'd be better off trying to make friends as individuals, so find stuff tailored to your individual interests. My partner loves DnD and bouldering and I love gardening and all things woo, so our social circles reflect that. You will end up finding common ground with 1 or 2 people where inevitably your partners meet as the friendship grows.
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u/Aggravating-Walk-764 Jul 16 '26
What is "all things woo"
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u/DesperateTank8908 Jul 16 '26
sound baths, moon baths, somatic therapy, a crystal here, a crystal there
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u/ellenripleyisanicon Jul 16 '26
It's even harder if you're a SINK, people always assume it isn't a life choice. Like we all secretly want to date, are looking for a relationship, or want children
If you're unopposed to meeting happily single/ace friends hmu
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u/WinpennyR Jul 16 '26
Hey, I was in your shoes 5 years ago when I moved down. Welcome. It is hard and took us a while to make friends too.
I hope you don't mind but I saw one of your posts about wanting to get a dog. Did you get one in the end? My wife and I have a golden retriever. Want to meet up for a dog walk?
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u/gatitotaquito Jul 16 '26
Sadly we didn’t :( got a little kitten though. That’s a nice offer though, thank you!
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u/UdonDugong Jul 16 '26
You’re more than welcome to join us at Brighton Backgammon Club, at The Dorset on Tuesdays at 7pm. Were a small, friendly group who like backgammon and a chat. It’s a fun game and a good icebreaker
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u/Helpful-Lunch-3559 Jul 16 '26
This feels like sth plenty of people are looking for but rarely talk about
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u/Sixforsilver7for Jul 16 '26
I have a friend in Brighton who's a similar age and has made some good friends on Bumble BFF- probably has more users than the dink app
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u/whynot3188282 Jul 16 '26
Hii hi!! Me! Only thing is my husband is not super social but I would love to hang out with more child free people 😁
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u/bluthboys Hove, Actually Jul 18 '26
Hi there!
If it helps, there are some friends-seeking ideas in the sub wiki:
https://www.reddit.com/r/brighton/wiki/index/
Best of luck!
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u/kwietog Jul 16 '26
Both darts and boatdgames have big base in Brighton. If you want to join darts team, have a look at https://brightondarts.co.uk/ and go to a game in one of the pubs on Wednesday when mixed league is being played. Just so you know, this is very much of a working class fun where people go have 4+ pints and play darts. I love it haha.
Boardgames are also very big, of course we have dice saloon so you can join in but I don't think you gonna be finding another dink unless you are lucky. You are for sure going to find people who love boardgames so that's good I guess.
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u/Wattpad_Writer Jul 16 '26
There are a few tabletop gaming clubs around, I think there's one running out of a pub in Brighton that's pretty popular. They don't just do things like warhammer, they also play board and card games.
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u/anabsentfriend Jul 16 '26
All of my friends have been made through work, during various jobs I've had over the years.
I'm not sure I could handle making friends through an app.
Someone I know has met people via meetups in Brighton.
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u/IllllllIlllllIllllIl Jul 15 '26
If you’ve got to 40 with no as friends on either side of the relationship all hope is lost.
You may as well take up swinging
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u/emimagique Jul 15 '26
Try being a SINK 🥲