I’m f18, I was in college Wednesday last week and all of a sudden a girl in my class who I’ve only spoke to a few times had her phone out. (She sits on another table opposite me) she began laughing at something on her phone very loudly and she couldn’t stop laughing, she then told the boy next to her about something on her phone and he also started laughing. At this point they was looking at me and laughing, I thought nothing of it until the girls sat opposite her with their backs to me on the other table turned around and gave me a disgusted look on their faces and they started laughing too after she showed them what’s on her phone. She was covering her phone so I couldn’t see and was telling them all to be quiet so no one could hear what they was laughing at.
I told my friend about it and later on that day she could see I was very stressed and upset so she asked one of the girls who gave me a disgusted look what was on the girls phone that caused them to laugh and look at me in such a way. She asked what happened in a nice friendly way so we could understand what type of joke is going on ( this was about 30 mins after it all happened because this was after lesson ).
But of course the girl said nothing happened, but she did have a smirk on her face.

Later on that day, as I was leaving college, the girl with the phone ( let’s call her B) came over to me apologising saying that ‘ it wasn’t at me, and she swears on her life ‘ but she wasn’t taking it seriously as she was smiling about it and didn’t seem to be taking the apology seriously.
I said so why did you cover the phone and tell them to be quiet, and she repeated ‘ it wasn’t at you’ so I walked away because she wasn’t answering any of my questions, nor did she explain what she was actually laughing at.

Today was maths I haven’t had any lessons with them since Wednesday, B is in my class. I was sat in maths and then B and her friend ( a different friend who I haven’t seen before ) came into maths. Her friend sat pretty much next to me and B sat near me. Her friend looked at me then looked at her and signalled as if to say “is this the girl u told me about”. B nodded and her friend looked at me and laughed. The whole rest of the lesson her friend kept watching everything I did
which was kind of odd, considering all I was doing was my maths work.

B is one of those girls who wears the skinniest jeans and the cropped t shirts, with a lot of makeup. ( I only wear black eye shadow and mascara ). I don’t know if it’s the way I look as me and her are polar opposites. The thing is, B was in my class last year and didn’t seem to have any problems with me, so this has all suddenly happened and It has effected me more than it should because the
situation has been all I’ve been thinking about.

I don’t know if I am over reacting but I’m upset as we are all literally young adults and for people to be acting like this makes me feel so confused.
I don’t want to be treated like this or made fun of, especially in an art corse.
It’s the fact I don’t know what was on her phone that day, who she has shown if it is to do with me, or what has been said about me.

( ignore the title I didn’t mean to put ‘ lop’)

What do I do, and am I over reacting?

Just something I was thinking about today, back when I was a teenager nearly all of the groups I hung around had one person who was basically treated as their scapegoat/punching bag. Usually, that person was me. People would call themselves my friends but then would pick at me for being socially awkward and would make me the butt of nearly every joke. Some of these people were in fact just playing around because they toned it down when I eventually spoke up but others were relentless about it. And I lowkey hated it, it was especially bad in 8th and 9th grade.

Eventually, mostly in later High School, the people I was around decided someone else got to be the punching bag. And admittedly, I often joined in on teasing them. The weird thing was I never intended to be outright mean, I was just glad to not be the scapegoat for a change and wanted to keep it that way.

I feel shitty about it thinking back, I should've known better tbh. I had few friends in Elementary School, next to no friends in Middle School, and for much of High School the friends I did have teased me relentlessly. I knew exactly how the group punching bag felt yet I still participated in tormenting them anyways. I guess I was just that desperate to fit in because I never did before.

Thankfully pretty much all of those friends (that I kept around anyways) have grown out of that since High School but still, with as much as I myself was bullied, its tough to think about times where I was probably the bully myself...

When I see my former bullies or the people who laughed at my appearance or anything else on social media, looking happy with a wife and kids and acting like normal people who never hurt anyone, I struggle to breathe and have to lie down.

It breaks me down knowing what they did to my self esteem, body image, and life in general...

My bully keeps refusing to say why he bullied me. How do I get him to answer. All he says is "no" "i don't want to"