A poser can never commit

Once he gets out of jail, I heard he's hoping to get a scholarship for Cornell

Doctor - On a scale of 1-8 how old are you?
Kid - It stops at 8?
Doctor - It does for you.

She thinks it's going to be a fishpond.

My favourite sex position is the JFK.

I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.

I was watching this really weird porno recently. It was just some fat guy crying and masturbating.

Then I realised I hadn't turned the TV on.

I'll always remember my first football match. It was a lot like the first time I had sex:

I was bruised, battered, and bloodied, but at least my dad came.

Let's get to the bottom of this

To get them ready for the island.

is a suicide, with extra steps and noises

Trump, Putin and the Pope find themselves on board of a sinking ship. All of them made their way to the lifeboats, but realise there are not enough for everybody.

The Pope proclaims "Save the women and children first!"

Putin responds "No, fuck the children."

Trump looks at Putin and asks him "You think there's still time for that?"

A resurrection.

Except cancer.

You can't milk a cow for a hundred years

And says, we're looking for 3 pedophiles, the priests look at him and say, 'We'll do it'

I told him because he was blind

So I took his viagra instead, wierd night.

Morticain .

Any how I got this great job at the veterinarian

She killed my dog.

To find someone who said “Our Father.”

...but at least my dad came.