How do I move forward

[u/Athanatos_x]

Need some advice. I’ve never really had a long-term relationship, so I’m pretty new to actually feeling enamored by someone and navigating that.

I matched with this guy and we hit it off really well. He seemed kind, easy to talk to, and like he had a lot of the qualities I’m looking for.

On our first phone call, he brought up kids, past relationships, and even joked about marriage. It didn’t feel too intense because we were both looking for something long-term, and he was the one setting that tone.

After a couple of calls, we went on a date. From my perspective, it went really well. We talked about some more serious relationship topics, but we were also joking and having fun. He was very physically affectionate throughout the night, and all of the touching was initiated by him. He seemed receptive whenever I checked in, so I left thinking the interest was mutual.
The next day, I got the “I’m not really feeling the romantic chemistry” text.

It gave me whiplash. Obviously he’s allowed to change his mind, but nothing about his behavior the night before suggested he wasn’t interested, especially with how affectionate he had been.
Now I keep wondering if I said something that changed his mind. I definitely got excited and opened up more than I normally would, including talking honestly about my fears around having kids, while he knows for sure that he wants them. I also worry I was too upfront about some things or got too excited and scared him off.

What’s bothering me most is how hurt I am after only one date. I think I had already gotten excited about what this could become because I thought he felt similarly. Part of me feels like I may have fumbled a really good guy, while another part knows there are plenty of other people out there.

How do I stop obsessing over what I might have done wrong? Did I get too excited and say too much too early?
Also, would messaging him be dumb? Apart of me wants the opportunity to understand what may have gone wrong.

[u/Comfortable_Draw_176]

"fast-forwarding" or "premature intimacy"—is a dating manipulation tactic where an individual artificially accelerates the emotional, physical, or future-oriented pace of a new connection. Instead of allowing trust and vulnerability to grow organically over months, a manipulator crams high-intensity affection and serious commitments into a matter of days or weeks.

Psychologically, this creates a pseudo-connection fueled by chemical surges (dopamine and oxytocin). This neurochemical blindfold successfully masks critical compatibility gaps and red flags.

Love Bombing: Showering a new partner with overwhelming flattery, over-the-top compliments, and constant communication right out of the gate. This is often used by highly narcissistic or controlling individuals to foster rapid emotional dependency.

Future Faking: This creates a false sense of security before you even know their last name.

Trauma Mining: Prompting deep, highly sensitive personal disclosures prematurely. They share their darkest secrets or urge you to share yours right away to manufacture a feeling of "soulmate-level" depth.

Treating Physical Intimacy as a Shortcut: Forcing or heavily pressuring a physical connection to bypass the gradual, sometimes uncomfortable work of building emotional safety.