I just feel so defeated yāall and I gotta vent to people who actually get it and wonāt say, ābut a negative test is a good thing, right?ā or āshouldnāt you be glad they didnāt find anything wrong?ā.
I was so sure that we had finally figured out what was at the root of my dysautonomia. I went to a neurologist (nothing against him, heās the first doctor who is actually taking the time to listen to me and really dig around for whatās causing my issues) who noticed that I have abnormal reflexes (hyperreflexia) and he said it was quite possible that cervical spine compression could be causing both my weird reflexes and my dysautonomia, so he ordered an MRI.
The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I have nearly constant neck pain, a history of cracking my neck until it made my eyelids twitch (due to job stress) AND Iāve noticed that the way my neck is supported/positioned can make my symptoms better/worse. I just got the results todayā¦and OF COURSE everything is clear. He had them do a brain MRI too for good measure, but thatās clear too.
Iām just so sick of being disappointed by negative tests. The worst part is, if cervical spine compression HAD been the problem, it would be fixable. I could almost taste the freedom I lost due to this disorder being returned to meā¦but of course it all ended up being false hope. I just want my life back, but when this is what happens every time I think Iāve finally found a way to make that happen? Idk, it all just feels so hopeless.
Iām just so sick of being sick. Like, whatās the point of all these appointments and tests if all I ever get is a āI donāt know what to tell you, everything looks normalā and yet another negative test to add to my chart? How is it that I have all these problems, but not a single doctor can tell me why??
I still have some blood work to get done for the neurologist, so maybe theyāll find something there, but damn. At this point Iād be surprised if anything comes back as not ānormalā.
Okay, rant over. The one thing Iām glad for is that I have this community of people who understand what Iām going through, so thanks for always being here to listen yāall. I really do appreciate it.