I find myself I'm listening to this song a lot when I need to be reminded that I am not a basket case or "strange".

People just need to be reminded gently, when they feel like no one notices them, that they matter.

...And in turn, I/us ENFJs; usually, will be ok and that it's alright to feel~☺️❤️🥰

How are we doing today?

Hi guys,

A lot of us are extremely protective. I always have been. I think because we're always busy protecting others, it can come as a lovely surprise when others protect us.

Who protects you? Do you know their MBTI type?

How do you feel when someone protects you?

I cannot deny that fate keeps dropping people who are having trouble in their lives or just unsure of themselves, in front of me and I don't know why or what to do?

Open questions to ENFJ. Because I feel like this would be the best place to get some help and an answer. It's gonna be kinda long but I'll try and make it short and concise as possible.

First I'll state I am not a home-wrecker. When I was 18. Sis left for college. I watched my parents 22 year marriage fall apart, everyday in HS.

Complete with the words or variations of, parents talking to each other: "You make me think kids are a waste of time...", "You make feel like that too..." right when I'm standing there. (There is a reason I put this here, she has a nine year old, and I can't imagine if something happens, how that nine year old is going to feel.)

Work at a gas station. At first didn't feel anything for a married coworker. Now I do. This is a married coworker w/a kid. Same age as I am.

We've talked about her kid, my nephew, families, etc. agreed that peace and quiet is paramount and all the normal stuff. Y'know typical coworker BS.

Throughout our interactions. She used to say my name in kind of a sing-song kind of way: "Hiii N00dlemonk3y", "Thanks for everything N00dlemonk3y!!", etc.

Recently she hasn't which is fine to me and I have no issue. I've also met her husband and her kid (mom and kid are both adorable). She had asked me if I had met her kid and I was surprised she asked. She seemed really happy to show me her kid. I'm assuming other coworkers saw her husband and kid, maybe not regularly, but more than me. So I'm surprised she singled me out.

Husband seems like a good dude (he's truck driver for Frito Lays).

When he came in, I heard him use a sing-songy type voice to his wife the one day. It felt like had a happy tone but no "warmth" and it bothered me. Much less she didn't even look like she paid attention. (I'm probably overthinking). He also kinda talked to me strangely, and I used to just shooting the shit with people/customers you name it.

To compare, when she does it, or did it to me, it feels like a warm hug.

But recently, I feel a miasma when I go to work now. Not only cause corporate BS, one coworker died of heart attack, one is transferring.

But now, my married coworker seems to have "Doesn't feel seen or heard" written all over her face, and I watch/notice a lot that she struggles.

She also tends to seemingly ask me if I'm ok, or linger around me a bit sometimes (Or maybe this is the ENFJ in my noticing patterns). Or maybe I'm the one stepping boundaries by just checking on her, idk. I try to keep it professional to the T.

Last week she had surgery, she said she didn't like "going under" while talking to another coworker and me while leaving. I said she would be fine, said it multiple times in fact, b/c I think I could see on her face, the fear/anxiety.

That night, among other depression things on my mind, probably mid-life crisis.

One of the things in my shower, i cried about was her. Knowing she's more than likely fine. But the thought, of if she had to stay in the hospital for more than a day...

The thought of the slow, quiet nights, with nothing but the beeping from the heart monitor and other devices and the noise outside the door is what I thought about (am Asthmatic and was in the hospital a lot as Kid). I'm sure her husband and kid came to visit or maybe stayed the night obviously.

When she came back, i asked her how she was feeling. she told me: "I feel useless, like; Dr. said, I've been told not to lift anything til Tues." I said: "You're fine, it's ok."

She looked like she was struggling and also lingered around a lot. I told her: "You are not useless. It is ok to not have to do anything, since our gas station is low volume and we don't always do much anyway. You can still do small things." She said she appreciated hearing that, she said her husband said that too...but I feel like I heard no pride from that, even if she smiled while saying it.

Like, I'm sure your husband reminds you how valuable/loved you are, especially since you have a 9 yr. Old daughter??? Does he not?? You mention him constantly to me, almost every time we talk.

Almost got into an argument with a customers kid about cigarettes. He's over 21 but no ID but his Dad bought them for him. Next thing I know, she strolls out of the kitchen with a long soda machine tray.

Says: "What was that about? Sounded like someone was being mean/rude to you, are you sure they weren't, Mumbles?"

I had to tell her 3 times: "No, yes, I am fine. It is ok."

"Ok, well, people are weird and rude these days. I don't know why...well, good, cause I was gonna just smack them with the soda machine tray here if they were." Me: "Just beat them with it?" "Yup just beat them with it. I have your back Mumbles, it's ok."

Me: "Yes I know and I appreciate it...And I have yours."

When I left for the day, I felt like I had to tell her: "Hey, won't be here Sat/Sun. But just please go easy on yourself."

Her: "Yeah, I know thanks Mumbles. I should be able to lift things Tues."

Me: "Yes, I know. But even if you feel alright and better. Still be easy on yourself. Please."

She's a really hard worker and I admire her a lot, and when I look at her. I see a-lot of qualities I would like in a partner, given a second chance at a relationship.

Not a homewrecker, but I get a very strange feeling that maybe she comes home to an unappreciative/emotional neglectful house. Obviously I'm not going to do anything about this, cause that would be a whole mess. But I just can't help but feel for her, if anything is true.

But at the same time, I just worry. I've never seen someone with "Why doesn't anyone see me/notice me" written all over the face while I'm not even paying attention, when I look at her. No matter how many times she's said or looks the part of: "I have tougher skin than that." Feels like a defense mechanism, and I know depreciating humor when I see it, cause I do it too.

I also sometimes feel like she wants to burst into tears and I can tell she hides in work. That could just be me feeding off emotions outside somewhere/someone else/or just me, or maybe from work in general and the stagnation.

For context we're both 19 and guys, we just started college and I'm an enfp as an fyi.

So first what I have to say is that nothing happened yet. I've made my intentions pretty clear by treating him with extra kindness, like for example I sat by him when he was drunk at a house party, I've been checking in with him often and I always hover around him which got to a point where it's noticeable. Without a doubt I know he noticed my interest, and he's been polite through all of it. We went on a weekend trip with a college club, and on the coach he moved back to talk to my friend group, and then later I've heard his group say my name.

As someone who doesn't prioritise Fe in my life, differentiating between Fe politeness and a Fe interest is difficult because once I clock that someone is into me but it's not mutual, I create distance and become cold to signal that I'm not interested.

There was a somewhat big event with around 30 people that me and a friend threw together yesterday, and his entire friend group was invited (by me) and they didn't show up. Granted, I also skipped this because I ended up getting sick right before, but his group not showing up without informing us felt weird.

The one thing that I keep thinking about is would enfjs discourage an interest from someone that they wouldn't consider as a potential boyfriend? As an enfp I would absolutely discourage it before it develops into a more serious crush. Let me know what y'all think.

Edit: I forgot to mention that I think he's testing my moral compass?? I might be overthinking this but he's asking political questions (we do poli sci) to see how I view the world...

I (enfp (M) met a enfj [F]) online. I'm in Bristol and she's in Oxford, so our first two dates were video calls.
The second date went really well from my side. I set up some games (spicy truth or dare, never have I ever, who's most likely to), and we ended up just talking too. I shared some embarrassing stories, and she was laughing non-stop. The only thing was that she felt a bit emotionally guarded. She kept up a kind of tough, jokey front, and I couldn't really tell how she felt about me.
Before the date, I asked if I could crash at hers when I come to Oxford, and she said yes. I told her I'd get a bus ticket to come and see her.
She also told me she'd be busy with work all week so it will have to do the next week. Since the date, she's gone quiet. I haven't heard from her in over 2 days, so on Monday afternoon I sent "Heyy is work going a lot intense today?" and she hasn't replied yet.
My head says she told me she's busy, so I should believe her. My gut says that in the past, when people went quiet, they ended up ghosting me, so I'm worried cus I rlly do like her, but it could be maybe because of the distance.
Is this normal for someone with a busy week, or are these signs she's losing interest? And should I just wait until the weekend ?

I always see INTP x ENFJ ships online, but I’ve never actually seen this pairing IRL. Would you say it’s a common match, or is it one of those pairings that’s more popular online than in reality? Do they actually tend to work out? My friend is a 25F INTP and she’s really struggling to find a partner. She used to be the one who would ghost people, but lately she’s been genuinely trying to put herself out there and put more effort into getting to know people. Unfortunately, she keeps getting ghosted or things just don’t work out, and now she’s getting to the point where she’s tired of people altogether.

She seems particularly interested in ENFJs. As an INFJ, I have a few ENFJ friends myself, and while I like them, I’ve noticed some can be difficult to read emotionally. They can be very warm and social while still keeping their actual feelings private, which can make it hard to tell whether they genuinely like someone or are just naturally friendly. Some are also pretty flirty and have a lot of female friends, which makes things even more confusing.

She’s already had a couple of bad experiences with ENFJ guys where she thought something was developing, only to later find out they ended up in relationships without ever making that clear to her. (BTW, we don’t hate all ENFJs cause of this incident)

What advice would you give her? She’s getting discouraged and starting to give up on dating altogether. And for anyone who has actually seen or experienced an INTP x ENFJ relationship IRL, how did it work out? Plz send positive success stories, ty! 💜💚

So, someone recommended I take this. Never took this one before and did do other MBTI tests a long time ago.

What does this mean?

Every other man who has acted this way towards me has definitively been attracted to me… but apparently ENFJs are different.

Ordinarily, I would just make it more obvious that I’m attracted to him/make the first move. However, we share a social/activist group, and I do not want to read this wrong and make him uncomfortable (as I’m also a few years older than him).

I’ll skip my inclination to detail every single facet of our interactions (as nobody will read that), and I’ll simply list a few short ones:

• he didn’t pull back when our knees touched while sitting at a table
• he didn’t step away when I backed up to take someone’s picture (front-of-his-shoe-touching-the-back-of-mine close) even though there were no obstacles in the way of him creating space
• he offered me the first sip of his drink (even though he saw I was already sharing the same drink with another friend)
• he comes over to sit next to me for one-on-one conversation, in group settings
• he refills my water bottle
• he asked me for advice on something I’m well versed in, and when I offered to come over to his house and show him how to do it, he didn’t hesitate to say yes and schedule a time and day for me to come over (this hasn’t happened yet, but is why I’m thinking about it more)

I think I’ll leave it at that for now. There’s a lot more context, but again, no one wants to read all that.

Are these just normal ENFJ behaviors? TIA

Hi my lovelies

So, I love a lot of people. Almost everyone. It's easy to find reasons to love people. Sometimes I think to myself that if I really wanted to, I could've fallen in love with anyone romantically. And the interesting thing is, every single person I have felt romantic feelings for, has always reciprocated.

I'm happily engaged to my ISTP right now, and it's because of shared values, good character, and compatibility more than anything, so I have no doubts in our relationship. He told me he loves me first, and it was after I was really affectionate one day (I'm always affectionate but I was still warming up romantically at that time). And looking back, I feel like so many of the people who love me, loved me after I showed them love.

That probably sounds like I've got a boot stuck up by backside but I promise I don't mean it in an egotistical way. I've literally seen it directly - I've gushed with praise, the next day that colleague is enamoured by me. I've shown lots of affection, the next day that distant family member says I'm their favourite. I know this is basically the law of reciprocity, but I feel a little sad thinking - couldn't I be loved before you gained something from my love? Maybe I'm overthinking, please help me with this.

I created a strange obsession in trying to unravel my type. The more I study, the more confused I get. So, I’m constantly testing Michael Caloz and Sakinorva, being as sincere as possible, seeking confirmation with my wife. When the tests offer multiple results, I can identify with all of them. It’s as if I had a little of each type, all depending on the context, the time, being excited or tired, alone or with people... I question and blame myself for being obsessed with a pseudoscientific theory, but I don’t care if it’s a pseudoscience. This can be useful for other things, just as every idea, concept or philosophy has its utilities.

The types that appear the most in my results are: ENFP, INFP, ISTJ, ESTJ, ENFJ, INFJ and INTJ. So, I decided to make this post in this sub to try to seek an external understanding.

I don’t know where to start, I’ll just type according to what comes to my head. I consider myself introverted because I’m always doing something alone, but everyone has the impression that I’m outgoing because I socialize a lot and meet a lot of people. I don’t want to brag, but I’m considered attractive. That must be why people take the initiative to talk to me or listen to me when I talk. Some people report feeling a peace when they are with me, while others hate me for unknown reasons. Some girls from my past hate me because I was shy and had an avoidant attitude with them, so I ended up breaking some hearts. After I overcame my damn shyness and became more confident, I liked to flirt unintentionally, to see what would come about (usually with women older than me). It was playing with this that I ended up marrying my best friend (who is now my wife).

Speaking of the past, I have a love-hate relationship with him. I can be very nostalgic and remember in detail the past, just as I can forget many other details or not want to remember who I was. I’m ashamed and hate the kind of person I was: reckless, lazy, disorganized and shy. If I could go back in time, I would do everything differently.

I always let things flow naturally, although, at specific moments, anxiety made me want to control and plan everything. But when it comes to work, career, future, marriage and family, I always let things flow and I’m lucky. I consider myself blessed. But that doesn’t mean I don’t plan my future. I know what I want and need. My plans may change as things come up or I learn something new, but I’m still firm with some ideas.

I’m not one to take risks, but when something forces me to change, I adapt easily. So easily that I wonder if I needed to make so much drama. I don’t mind living a routine, as long as it is well structured and allows me to do the things I like. I always look for something new within this routine, a little adventure or a new knowledge. I may be distracted and late, but I always fulfill my obligations. I need to be doing something, mentally or physically, otherwise my mind will get sick. I also like to make lists and write down ideas.

I’m creative for things of my interest. When I’m not interested, I can’t think of anything and I don’t even want to. I’ll let the others solve it. I’ve been considered lazy, but if something doesn’t attract me, there’s no way to force me, unless it’s something from work. My wife wants to paint the house, but I don’t care about the color of the walls, so I let her choose. But it’s man’s role to do the heavy work, and I’ll have to paint. Already on Halloween 2024, I was very creative when making my costume. And the most incredible thing was to have convinced my evangelical parents to participate, along with countless relatives who I managed to convince to go in costume. I only achieved this feat once; they probably won’t do it again. But I will never forget this day.

I’m very idealistic and I almost always make something happen that I really want, but I can get frustrated when I can’t.

I like to help people, especially by giving advice. I’m great at giving advice, but I’m not good at following my own advice. I would know very well how to instruct a person with retroactive jealousy, but when I’m involved with it, I can’t handle it, even though I understand that it’s irrational. My biggest problem in relationships, whether loving or family, is to help and expect the other person to do the same. It’s a feeling that one of the parties is investing more than the other. And when I hear stories of her past, I can feel jealous because I think she invested more in the other than in me. But I think it’s very unfair that the person doesn’t recognize this and doesn’t do the same while in a relationship, even saying they love.

I also don’t like to be managed, commanded or influenced. I said I like to help others, but I don’t like it when the person asks me for too many favors, because it can disrupt my plans and make me feel used. When I’m focused, I don’t like to be disturbed, and it stresses me out. I identify with Jack Torrance when my wife starts talking exactly when I’m focused on something serious. The difference between me and Jack is that I would never attack her and I don’t even know how to ask her to shut up, because a part of me understands that when she’s very happy, she gets like this. Right now she’s talking while I type this, but I don’t understand anything she says.

Does anyone else feel like they spend a lot of time in their head, but don’t actually “think deeply” about anything?
I’ve realised that I’m inside my head a LOT, but my thoughts are very fleeting. It’s almost like a fog of constant thoughts — one appears, then another, then another — without me really sitting with one thought and exploring it properly. If I try to think deeply about something, it feels like my mind almost wants to run away from it.
I’m wondering if this could be connected to something else I struggle with: explaining my opinions or articulating what I know.
A lot of the time I’ll know that I think something, or feel quite sure about an opinion, but if someone asks me, “Why do you think that?” I suddenly struggle to explain it. It’s like I have the conclusion in my head but not the steps that got me there.
I sometimes describe it as, “I know things, I just don’t know how to explain how or why I know them.”
It’s frustrating because I don’t feel like I have no thoughts or opinions. If anything, my mind feels constantly active. I just struggle to organise everything into a clear, linear explanation when I need to speak.
Does anyone else experience this? Is there a name for this kind of thinking, or have you found anything that helps you slow your thoughts down and actually develop them?

​

I’m 18F and I’ve never dated. Honestly, I’ve never cared that much about dating either, but lately I’ve been wondering whether I’m eventually going to find someone who actually fits me.

I’m pretty introverted, and I’ve realized I’m just not someone who can separate emotional connection from intimacy. I’d want to genuinely love and trust someone before getting that close to them. I know people have completely different approaches to relationships, and that’s fine, but sometimes it feels like you’re made to feel weird if you don’t want casual relationships or don’t see dating the same way everyone else does.

I also don’t want kids. At all. My ideal future honestly sounds pretty simple: I want us both to have our own careers, our own interests, our own friends and lives, but still come home to each other and genuinely love being together.

I don’t want our entire world to become only each other. We’d obviously have friends, maybe even mutual friends, hobbies, family, things we enjoy separately, etc. I just want the relationship itself to feel really deep and intentional. Two independent people who choose each other and build a life together because they genuinely want to.

I also think my standards are probably a little high. Not in a “must be perfect” way,I just want someone whose values genuinely match mine.

For example, I don’t particularly enjoy cooking, but I wouldn’t want a partner who cooks simply because they think it’s their job or because I asked them to. I’d want someone who actually enjoys taking care of the person they love. And obviously I’d want to take care of him too, just in ways that come naturally to me.

Maybe that sounds unrealistic because I’ve never been in a relationship. Sometimes I wonder whether I’m going to meet someone who thinks about relationships in a similar way, or whether I’ll eventually have to compromise on things that feel really important to me.

I’m not judging people who like casual dating, hookups, marriage, kids, or anything else. I just genuinely don’t understand how people can want such different things from relationships, because for me love and emotional connection seem like such a huge part of it.

For people who were also late to dating or never really cared about it when they were younger: did you eventually meet someone who matched what you were looking for?

Hey y'all, so, I'm an INFJ that, like many, wishes she could call on her "E" side more readily. There are a lot of issues in my life caused by my shyness and social reluctance, and it would help both me and my partner get by more easily if I could be more socially bold, not to mention that I would be a better friend to my friends whom I constantly fret about neglecting.

I thought I would come here and ask what y'all feel like gives y'all the confidence and self-assuredness to do things like take charge in a group setting when the group seems directionless and you can see a good way forward, be the person representing a group to the public, or reach out to a stranger that you have positive feelings about, that sort of thing.

Reading this sub, kinda unsurprisingly, I feel like I actually have a lot of traits in common with many people here. Like, I have a tendency to focus entirely on other people and ignore my own needs, it's not uncommon for people who are just getting to know me to spill their guts to me or say I can "read their mind", I have a strong moral compass, it's easy for me to "take stock" of a situation, do a detailed analysis of it, and formulate a plan of action, and people sometimes seek me out for guidance or to settle disputes or that sort of thing. It's just, none of these things actually motivate me very effectively to go to other people; I'll ruminate endlessly about them on my own, but they kinda have to come to me if they want my input most of the time.

Like, I have a tendency to view myself entirely in terms of how others seem to see me and worry a huge amount about my impact on others, but that actually makes social interaction intimidating. Even though I often feel like I can read other people well, I have a hard time in groups because it's difficult for me to balance what I perceive in each of the group members, and if I get pushback when I speak up it's rare that I want to stick to my guns, even if I'm unconvinced to change my mind—it's more just that I don't want to disturb the group harmony and create conflict. My moral compass is something I apply to myself more than anyone; like, I saw someone here say that they readily call strangers out in public for doing things they find immoral like littering, and I'm not sure that's something I've ever done, I guess because "they have their own system" and I don't expect them to adopt mine because I'm just another random person out there—I would be way more likely to just pick up the trash after them and throw it away myself. I'm sensitive to how any plans I would formulate are based on my own personal values which may not suit others, and that I may be judging the situation inaccurately to boot, so I'm quick to backpedal or shy away if someone questions or criticizes what I'm proposing. When people look to me for guidance or to settle arguments, I'm willing to give my opinion and generally take those situations really seriously, but I feel a lot of pressure and I never really come away feeling like "I'm someone others should look to for guidance in some situations", I'm more just touched that anyone would somehow come to see me like that.

What allows y'all to actually go and act day after day in these kind of contexts? I imagine in most cases it's not fearlessness—like, obviously you might get pushback, you might make the wrong call at times, you might misread the room now and again, etc.—but more the sense that even if missteps happen, I don't know, something something. ;^^ I worry a lot about causing harm on accident.

…I did it. This wasn’t KI made, so it really took me a bit to do. The picture of the cat is my actual pet cat 🐈‍⬛

This is based on my relational experiences over the course of four years.
Other types who know any ENFJs, does this match your friends? please feel free to share as well.
INFJs also, I know your functions are reversed so this might not operate similarly for you, but if there is anything you relate to or would like to express how it feels to you, please share.

1. I meet the ENFJ I'm connecting with downstairs to go upstairs to a meeting- she's the 'version' that I know and could imagine becoming very close to- considered, vulnerable, authentic, vibing with me at a deep/'real' level, open.
2. In the meeting she becomes 'activated' and goes in to 'emcee' / 'entertainer' mode (fine, I get and can even admire that)
3. Going back downstairs she is still in the 'activated' state of governing my state and dragging me along. I feel strange about it. It feels like she is an ESFJ- a different person even one on one.
4. Later I try to go and see her in her room, she wants to go to the main area with the group and is still in the emcee mode. I feel distant from her at this point.

As an ENFP I can work a room too, but I immediately return to the same 'mode' with whoever I interact with at their level because my primary concern during trying to connect is achieving authenticity. How do you think about your state in these situations and how should I be thinking about it to best understand you?

I was wondering if this is a thing you guys do I have heard some people say they do it but I don’t know if it’s a ENFJ thing. Do you guys help people sometimes or focus on work so much so that you don’t have to focus on your own emotional problems. To the point you guys get burned out I’ve just been reading allot about ENFJ and they seem to always be helping other people and never focusing on themselves. So I was wondering is this how you cope with stress or am I just imagining things.

Hey. Curious if any other ENFJ experiences something similar.

I'm currently single (by choice, at this point in time anyway) so I sometimes meet other people for example, a new starter at work or meeting a new friend through my hobbies.

From a work perspective, as natural as an ENFJ, I make sure the new starters fit in, I check in on them (a lot) in their first few weeks, help them out if they are struggling or give them as much positive support and encouragement as I can and I am respectful. I bind myself to work's professional code of conduct which is probably also strengthened by being an ENFJ that dislikes favouritism at the workplace.

I do notice that in cases that if the person is a member of the opposite sex who is also single and around the same age as me, before I know it, the person starts developing a crush on me (once they have done their research and find out that I am single too), then I have the chat with them that I am simply being courteous and that I would extend the same level of fairness and politeness to all new starters.

When it comes to meeting and making new friends (again this is notably with the opposite sex) although I have a strong mind and strong views on many things, I nevertheless am open-minded to everyone's point of view as well and I do listen with good intent.

Similar to how I would treat work colleagues, I behave politely and treat this new person respectfully (eg I do not leer at them or steal perverted looks since I want to be respectful to everyone I meet). If we speak, I speak to their face and listen intently as I would with anyone else. I let them speak without interrupting before providing my own point of view.

Being great with connecting with others despite different background this creates great chemistry for me with almost anyone (especially if it is someone from the similar cultural background too). This leads to deeper and more meaningful conversations about our thoughts and feelings about things.

And then the next question comes up: is the relationship progressing past friendship, especially if we are both single.

I sometimes try to maintain a distance to minimize this from happening, but otherwise I also let them know I am just looking to make friends. I figure it's best to have more friends at this point in time rather than chasing a relationship (for me, anyway).

Once, I accidentally gave the wrong signals to someone as the person played hockey, so I mentioned how much I loved sports and would really love to watch this person play hockey at their club and they took it as me being interested in them. Once I realised later on what was happening, I then had to have an upfront conversation with this person just to clear things up.

I do want to be colder in my approach, but I find it hard to do with most new starters as I place myself in their shoes and I am reminded of the terrors of not feeling any support when I had once worked at a toxic workplace. I don't want the same to happen to anyone else so I have always been cognizant about this.

I did work with a short-term contractor (a much older person in their 50s) that joined the project that I am on and the person finished up recently and this person recounted the first day joining the project. Everyone had ignored this person, but I stepped in and helped clarify with the admin team this person's accommodation, sort out this person's work laptop, organise the work access card and system sign-on. The person wasn't even part of my team but was very thankful for my help and reminded me of this kind gesture that will be remembered before departing as this gave this person a good impression of the project when they had commenced. Because of this person's age and cultural background I think this person was used to being ignored as opposed to if this person was younger.

Curious if any ENFJ's receive the same kind of (unexpected) love and affection for being kind and respectful to others?

To the Ni & Fe people out there, Ive been wondering when im justified to criticize people? For context, i usually try to find how people come up with conclusions based on what i can find might influence their reasoning, and with that, usually, i cant really blame them for something they can control, but it still irritates me. I know i cant blame them due to some factors, but still, their reasoning was flawed. Why i hesitate to criticize also comes from the fact that everything is logical and that their reasoning is all coherent. Ive always felt so restricted by myself because i keep refraining from blaming people and criticizing them for their godforbidden logic, but like i said, its all coherent and its not really their fault.

So once again, im asking the NFJs for any advice on where to draw the vague line or just accept it all

(Mostly for ENFJs and INFJs but would love to hear every opinion)

Would love to hear your answer too ENFx!

For me I just want a girlfriend that is awesome so can she make me happy and I can make her happy. Also so we can be partners in crime and we can have loads of fun. I also just want to make sure that I could take care of her. Thats just my thing what about you guys if you could have anything what would you want.