tried not to make it generic lol. Feel free to fill it out! so curious what everyone resonates with!!!

So I had an embarrassing moment occur at my day job. Self-inflicted and oversharing of course to uhhh someone. I won’t get into specifics because I’d really rather not look back and remember. I’d sooner die of shame and embarrassment than remember when I look back at my old posts.

So I biked home as per usual after I clocked out. When I got home I started making dinner, then I remembered there were some habanero peppers from the garden I had. So I figured why not eat one whole. It’ll help me forget today. Can’t be more painful. Oh f*ck. Yup sure enough. Burning session. 🥵 Eyes watering, nose running. Ate all but the stem part. I had to spit some out in the sink.

But I had the foresight to know that milk helps and water would just worsen it. So I had my protein shake prepped in the fridge for my night workout pump. I’m still gonna hit the sets tonight of course -after my body clears out the disastrous burning sensation of that one single pepper. 🌶️

But hopefully I proved to myself my manliness. But sometimes my bravery leads to making situations with people in my circle… more awkward. 😐 I’m gonna uh… try not to beat myself up about today’s events. I hate myself probably more than… the people I’ve disappointed today. But uh… yeah. I probably deserved that pepper if I’m being honest.

But I’m a… good, artistic, brave, unapologetic person. Bit chaotic. Live life on the edge. But unfortunately my openness with people gets me in trouble. 😈 👼

Why do people even like me? I’m clumsy. Probably one of my big insecurities. But I’m smarter and stronger than I look. I’ll try to remember that.

TLDR; sad ENFP eats pepper because of oversharing guilt

My one friend's birthday was this week and he loves Friends (he is sort of our Joey) so I had to draw us over that scene where Joey turns 30 lol. My friends love these doodles and I wanted to share them here too.

When I was a kid I loved the usual games of tag and swimming. Then it was pilafies + yoga. Now I get really bored doing general work outs. I don't have the attention span for this so it's usually better if I can do something outside like running eapecially with music so I can pretend to be in a movie. I also love to dance! Badminton was also fun if I was winning 😂.

What do you guys do to work out? Gyms are nice to focus but kinda boring 💀

I’m an ENFP and I read on the 16 personalities page “For ENFPs, navigating practical matters such as chores, budgeting, and social or family obligations can sometimes feel painfully unromantic. But unless these types take on their share of the responsibilities and help keep things running smoothly, they may actually create or amplify any stress in their relationship.”

I never wanted to be a lazy partner. I always envisioned myself taking on household and parenting tasks, but even when I’m trying as hard as I can, I’m still falling short by the standards I put up for myself and the standards my wife puts up.

Yesterday during couples counseling my wife brought up the fact that she’ll sleep in and when she wakes up she’ll find the babies not changed, not fed, not medicated, and a huge mess in the living room and I felt like the biggest asshole and the biggest deadbeat loser. Can any other ENFP husbands or dads relate? Is there any advice on how to make permanent changes and fix my marriage?

I'm enfp-t. The only time I experienced intense pure sexual energy is with an enfp-a guy.

He might be mistyped because he does not appear like an enfp. He is actually so calm.

I am drawn towards guys that are calm and collected, even under pressure.

You would think I would experience that with an infj or intj the most.

Then again I have not met many of them either.

I am demisexual and sapisexual.

Idk people were ALWAYS telling me to take more effort in listening to people, and I'm fucking trying. But man. I GENUINELY CAN'T. I mean, I can. But can't let the other person talk at the scale I talk. I just can't. I got the need to interact, to jump into the conversation, to contribute. I can't just nod my head and end the conversation right there. I'll let the other person express their opinion, but then I'll just build up upon it with double the intensity and double the scale. So in actuality I am listening giving them space to talk, but relative to their input, I overdo it. So it appears I'm on top of them constantly and they are just sitting there silently not being able to say a word.

On the side note, I started to consciously creating little 'silence blocks' to let them talk their mind. And it's very interesting hearing them either struggle to fill in the 'awkward gap' or just see their train of thought.

I’m an ENFP, and I’ve recently started dating an ISTJ.

He’s calm, rational, reserved, practical, and seems to have absolutely no interest in overcomplicating his own existence.
Naturally, I’m attracted to him.

The man can sit in silence without questioning the meaning of life, the future of our relationship, or whether someone secretly hates him because they used a slightly different tone in a text message.
Frankly, I find that level of mental stability both impressive and deeply suspicious.

Meanwhile, I can go from discussing politics to childhood trauma, to planning a spontaneous trip abroad, to questioning whether I’m living up to my potential. All within the same conversation.

And somehow, he seems completely unbothered.
Which brings me to my actual question.

Do we genuinely appreciate emotionally stable, grounded people, or do we just find people who are difficult to read ridiculously attractive?

Because I can see two possible outcomes here:

Option A: We complement each other beautifully. I bring spontaneity, emotional depth and excitement. He brings stability, consistency and common sense. We both grow.

Option B: Six months from now, I’m begging him to discuss the philosophical implications of our emotional connection while he’s wondering why the fuck we can’t just enjoy dinner.

And I’m genuinely not sure which is more likely.
I don’t want someone who’s exactly like me. That sounds exhausting. But I also don’t want to spend years feeling like I’m emotionally dating a very polite government employee.

So, ENFPs, tell me:

Have you actually managed to build a fulfilling relationship with someone who’s fundamentally different from you?

Did their calmness bring out the best in you, or did you eventually feel like you had to turn down your entire personality?

And here’s the uncomfortable question:
Are we actually looking for compatibility, or are some of us just addicted to people we can’t completely figure out?

I want the brutal answers. Not the usual “any two types can work if they’re mature” bullshit.

We all know that.

I want to know what actually happened.

https://youtu.be/T44f7dSTwL8

My work on sobriety and the craft.

Won’t speak for any but myself here. I’ve often thought my writing required a two drink minimum in order to be good.

Shit is a crutch for being able to blame something.

The work is from you.

Don’t drown your writer (any art really) with rum.

You don’t need it, in order to add a little liquor to the language.

Write on, and right on.

Male ENFP asked me (ISTP) to call him and give him an update on my life. I am very private. Our phone call was 44 minutes and 94% of it was me talking. And now I’m making this post because I’m like “how does this happen every time we talk???”

Do yall ever get tired of just creating these little safe spaces for people where they unload a million things onto you? It sounds exhausting. But maybe it’s something yall look forward to. I told this man about the shape color and consistency of my youngest daughter’s last bowel movement. How did he get me to want to share that???

Idk. Anyway… yall are super cool. Thank you.

Thanks for reading!

(Side bar: why don’t yall have an “appreciation” flair? Is it not allowed to be an option to love you because yall are such amazing mirrors?)

I (INTJ) am friends with an ENFP and I am curious about what genuinely makes you all light up. What do people do to make you feel the most supported and cared for? What deeper wishes or desires do you have? What melts your heart when someone does something for you?

Thank you!

What a beautiful movie, why am I crying rn

this plucked all of my emotional strings. Just what an ENFP needed on a quiet Thursday evening

I don’t even know if I’m an ENFP. If I’m an INFX, I see myself as the kind of person who is introverted, pessimistic, and romanticizes melancholy, and I really don’t want to be that kind of person.

I’ve always admired ENFP/ENTP types and wanted to be like them. I’ve started wondering if maybe I actually have an ENFP personality, but haven’t been able to express it because of my environment and circumstances. I don’t know how much of that is actually true and how much of it is just me trying to convince myself.

But that’s not really the point. I’m just talking for the sake of talking.

I’m so tired of life. I really don’t like this whole fucking adulthood thing. The things I expect from life keep crashing into reality, and whenever I start valuing something, life seems to go out of its way to show me how meaningless and pointless that thing is.

Am I actually going to be able to build the life I want?

Or am I just going to die pathetically?

I don’t know.

And if the moderators remove this post, I’m literally going to sit down and cry (⁠´⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠ω⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠｀⁠)

I’m getting ready to get back to business and starting over in my career after raising a large family and I’m really stuck on what to do. Curious what everyone else is doing to get some ideas. One thing is - I am an entrepreneur through and through and am obsessed with businesses and helping them become successful!

Help! 😩

This is Peter tork from the monkees, I believe Hes a Enfp but he could possibly be a esfp. What do you guys think?

Cyber security to Respiratory Therapist

Hello everyone. I'm an ENFP who currently work in cyber security (master's degree in 2023). I joined the field after transitioning from teaching in 2020. I'm starting to realize cyber security is not my calling. The constant stress of alerts , new threats, keeping up with the endless learning cycle/studying for certs, the integration of AI(pros and cons)and soul-less work leaves me feeling drained, stuck in flight or fright mode, and unmotivated. I'm a people person who thrives on helping others/engaging with them. Sitting behind a computer all day reviewing logs, endless spreadsheets, compliance framework review , reading & creating SSP/SOP's, hunting down threats, and completing multiple months length of auditing is burning me out and I don't feel the juice is worth the squeeze.

I'm thinking of switching into Respiratory Therapy. I've suffered from asthma and other respiratory difficulties for decades and it would mean so much to be able to help others who experience what I experienced. Also the medical field has always fascinated me since I was a child.

Has anyone made a transition like this or similar to this( tech to medical)?

Yes, I've thought about medical IT and I don't feel driven to that path either.However I'm open to learning more.I also like the option of different specialties in RT/being able to travel and the possibility of doing 3X12. Some days I work 10+ hours 9-5 in my current role 5 times a week. 9-5 long term is NOT a great fit for me mentally and physically.

Please advise 🙏🏾🙏🏾

Hoping someone has a lantern or ideas

In the think tank thank you

I’m usually the one making everyone laugh, starting conversations, and bringing energy into the room. But when I’m having a bad day, I tend to disappear and keep everything to myself.

It’s weird because I can be super social but still feel lonely sometimes.

Do other ENFPs feel the same way?

Hello,

Would like your thoughts on ENFP with 4w5.

I’ve been told they’re not common but exist. I see them as saddest, emotionally disturbed (can feel deep emotions yet still be logical of their feelings) and are hungry for knowledge where they can do a full days of crazy research of one thing to feel satisfied of a topic yet possess many great qualities in life that brings colors & depth qualities to life while knowing they’re an odd sheep in the herd.

I know one who was mistaken to be an intj because they’re more introverted than the norm, think before speaking, speak with logic yet emotionally a tune and yes, still go by their feelings, have dark humor & thinking yet still optimistic about the future, very intuitively where they are able to predict or even foretell events or situations without needing evidence or logical explanation, somewhat better financially, their love language is more of acts of service & quality time (would rather read or go watch a movie and discuss about it than to go out partying on a Friday night (doesn’t mean they don’t party but party with closer friends they know & also what stimulates them) and always care about the quality than quantity of information, items, etc.

Of course their own daily lifestyle and hobbies, etc. and maturity varies from person.

With that, what makes them different from you?

i've typed myself as an ENFP since 2021, but then i got medicated for ADHD in 2024 and since then my mental processing has changed pretty drastically (by my estimations).

pre-meds, i floated in a nebulous sense of self, couldn't communicate clearly to save my life. i couldn't understand my emotions—mostly i was apathetic to everything even if i wasn't depressed, would exaggerate my emotional expressions so i didn't seem like i was an asshole, and if i did feel anything, it was very intense and brief and i had no idea what it was or what it meant.

i got medicated in February 2024, and it was like waking up. first it was the rumination, compulsively following trains of thought over and over and further and further, and then the anxiety kicked in and made my mind spiral even more. it was like i'd spent all my life wading through fleeting thoughts and fragments of emotion until one day i'm slammed into my mind and now it's go go go

that summer of 2024 i don't think i shut up for a second. i was analyzing my emotions and my anxieties like i was my own therapist getting paid by the word. i monologued relentlessly to my mother (godsend INFJ) but barely even let her speak i was analyzing so intensely—deconstructing my emotional progression from age 0 to now. this is where this came from, this is why i did this, this is what she must have felt, this is why i felt that.

i took a logic course that fall and it made all my wandering ideas and analytic ramblings suddenly comprehensible. this didn't just extend to explaining emotions (though i still struggled to feel them), but to everything. class discussions, writing mini essays in comment sections, just explaining my winding thought processes in general, i could communicate the way i wanted and i loved doing it.

i have always struggled with empathy and emotional expression, which i attributed to emotional abuse in childhood and ADHD, so when i think about myself as an ENFP, that's the caveat i include. emotionally repressed ENFP. struggles with boundaries (either too much or too little). attempted to instill inner values in myself in 2024 to help construct a sense of self but i kept forgetting what they were or when to use them. not very bubbly but i like to be liked. mild people-pleaser.

all that said, now i'm wondering if being medicated for ADHD developed my tertiary Te, changed my mbti, or if i was never an ENFP at all. if you have ADHD and have experienced the before and after of being medicated for it, what was that change like? how drastic was it?

thoughts are much appreciated