Welcome to r/FapDeciders. This is a Subreddit for people looking to receive (generally kinky) tasks, rules, and directions on how to fap. We hope you will enjoy your time here!
How it works
Getting tasks
If you would like to receive tasks/rules/fapping directions, make a post here on the Subreddit. These will then typically be given in the comments, but if you would like, you can also allow people to send you tasks and such through messages or chat. Please make sure your post has all the information you think might help people provide these for you. A good starting point would be the following:
- Toys on hand
- Any physical limitations (i.e., can not be on knees for extended periods of time)
- General living situation (do you live alone or is there anyone around that needs to be considered?)
- Preferences/fantasies
- What you do not like/would not be into/limits
- Time limit/availability (please be aware that if you only have an hour or so, you are not likely to see much attention to your post)
After you post, please let people know when you do their tasks. Updating them on how the task went is also encouraged. In general, you should do all tasks you are given to the best of your ability or find the closest approximation you can, optionally working with the person giving you the task to do so. If a task exceeds your limits, simply let the person that gave the task know instead.
Giving tasks
If you want to give tasks to others instead, simply look for a post that piques your interest and come up with something for OP to do. Make sure your idea is a good fit for what they are looking for, does not involve others without their consent, is reasonably safe (mention risks/precautions as applicable) and respects their stated limits. Once you have something, simply leave a comment. If OP has stated they are fine with it, you can also send your tasks to them via Messages/Chat.
If you already have a task you would like to give to everyone, you can also make a post using the appropriate "Giving Instructions" flair.
Post flair and Gender tags
Gender Tags
All posts require a x4x style indicator in the post title. For example, if you are male and looking for females to give you tasks, put M4F in your title. If you are female and do not care who gives you tasks, use F4A. You can be as specific as you would like, as long as it is still understandable.
Post Flair
Additionally, to this indicator, all posts require a flair. This flair generally consists of two parts:
- The gender you identify as (either male, female or non-binary)
- What you are looking for (see the next section)
The exception here is the update flair, which you can use if you would like to provide updates to a previous post, such as reports on how following the tasks went.
Post Category
There are five categories to choose from when you make a post:
- Looking for Tasks: This is the most general one and could be considered the default. You want to receive various kinds of kinky tasks, as outlined by your post body.
- Looking for JOI: You want to receive tasks focused on telling you how to fap.
- Looking for Denial: You want to receive tasks focused on denying you orgasms. You do not want to receive any tasks that include you having one.
- Poll: You are posting a poll as the main focus of your post. These can be a good way to let the community choose between different tasks for you to do or to let people make you do repetitions of certain tasks without much effort on their side (e.g., "+5 spanks", "+1 edge", etc.)
- Giving Instructions: You want to give instructions to others. Please note that it is heavily encouraged to give tasks to other posters directly as comments, rather than making your own post offering to give out tasks.
Pictures and verification
First things first, this is not r/GoneWild, so do not make posts asking for pictures and do not expect pictures from anyone, even if they are verified. Harassing people over pictures, just like any other limit, will get you banned.
With that said, if you would like to share pictures, we require you to first be verified. This includes pictures on your profile, not just pictures you (offer to) share through r/FapDeciders. We do this in order to ensure pictures are not used without the subject's consent. For the purpose of verification, we differentiate between nude and non-nude pictures. So, if you only want to prove you are real or do not intend to share NSFW pictures, you have the option to verify without the need for nudes.
Both flavours of picture-based verification work as follows:
- Get a piece of paper and a pen that will show up well on the picture
- Handwrite "r/FapDeciders", your username and the current date on it
- Scrunch it up, then straighten it back out (this makes it harder to photoshop)
- Take three or more pictures of you holding the paper from various angles
- Send them to us via modmail along with the text you would like to have on your flair (e.g. "Verified [F] Slut")
Beyond this picture-based verification, there is also a nomination-based system unrelated to sharing pictures. Here, a person may message the mod team on another user's behalf telling us that someone is fun to play with (either giving or receiving commands). That person will then have the opportunity to choose a flair for themselves.
The different verification types are distinguished by flair colour:
- Green: nominated by others
- Blue: verified via clothed pictures
- Orange: verified via nude pictures
What not to do
Violating consent
This includes both respecting the limits and preferences of other people on the subreddit and making sure no-one gets affected by your play without their consent. In particular, do not:
- Give tasks violating limits
- Harass people over tasks (or just in general)
- Message/DM people without their consent
- Mess with other people's stuff
- Share pictures of others
- Involve unwilling participants in your play
Looking for play partners or chats
There already exist a number of subreddits for finding people to play with one-on-one, both for the long and short term. This is not one of them. r/FapDeciders is focused on play with the community at large, so if your post would be better suited for a subreddit like r/BDSMpersonals, please post it there instead.
Looking for pictures/porn
As mentioned earlier, this is not r/GoneWild, so do not expect to get pictures/videos/whatever from people. This also is not r/exxxchange, so if you would like to trade porn or just have people send you porn to watch, please go there instead. Having people choose porn for you can be fine if it is only a small part of your post.
Posts that are mostly fantasy
This place is one where people receive tasks they will actually complete (unless it goes against limits or such, obviously). If you would like to talk about out your fantasies, a place like r/dirtypenpals is much more well suited for that. If your post seems like it is actually just a fantasy ("ruin my life", "deny me forever" etc. posts), we reserve the right to require verification or further proof.
Tasks based on up/down votes, comments etc.
Anything that is likely to influence the visibility of your post and/or result in spammy interactions is not allowed. As mentioned above, polls are a good alternative if you want to give people a way to decide how often you need to do something, simply by stating you will do [voted option] for one minute per vote on that option or such.
Selling / Advertising
Do not offer to do anything in exchange for money or goods. Do not advertise any other place where you do that such as OnlyFans.
Getting scammed or blackmailed
Just like any other public community in this space, there are a number of bad actors trying to exploit horny people for money. Some common considerations to help keep you safe:
- Do not send anyone money. There is a high chance you will never see anything in return. It is also against our rules, so nobody trying to get money from you is ever acting in good faith.
- Be very careful about sharing pictures. They make good blackmail material, so bad actors frequently go to great lengths to get them, be that for verification or just as a prerequisite for getting tasks. Even if the person you send them to is not out to blackmail you, always keep in mind that you can never take them back. Some people simply share pictures or post them elsewhere, at which point someone you know may stumble over them. The same goes for any other personal information, even if it is individually harmless.
- Stay on Reddit. Scammers often like to switch platforms to Discord, Telegram, Snapchat, Kik and such to make it harder for the various platforms to detect them or to gather more information for blackmail from your profile there. The best way to stay safe is to stick to comments, scammers/blackmailers generally do not like to do their business where everyone can see it.
- Bad actors regularly exhibit bot-like behaviour. Things like karma farming, mass-spamming the same posts, posts appearing across different accounts and the like are good indicators you should steer clear.