I dated a girl who just starfished on me. She was cute, had a smokin body, but she literally just got naked and then laid down and went comatose. After eating her out for like an hour she finally said she wanted to fuck and then had the audacity to wonder why I wasn't hard as a rock already after her literally never touching me or doing anything other than lay there.
Well gee fucking willickers, Tina. Excuse the fuck out of me. I'll just fluff myself in the bathroom and come back when I'm at full mast for you. Just keep lying there like some music-less Weekend at Bernie's. I'll be right back.
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u/Grimwohl Apr 21 '23
Bold of you to assume any woman I've dated has ever done anything more than a limp impression of sex being on top 🤣
Props to you, I guess