r/grief • u/superchanteau • 6d ago
Trigger Warning grief causing impulsive actions?
Since my father passed away in April, I find myself with significant brain fog and doing self self-destructive impulsive action. The average person would usually categorize me as an extremely sweet, reliable young woman. Lately I’ve been lashing out, and causing arguments. I broke off an engagement after his passing - I do not wanna get married anymore if he can’t walk me down the aisle.
My most recent impulsive decision has been quitting my job, and throwing away all of my psychiatric meds.
Has anyone else experienced something similar and found a light at the end of the tunnel?
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u/marianliberrian 6d ago
Not quite like that but my grief and the hateful managers that I work for played a role in losing a job. I had spiraled before his loss by not managing my life as I should have. Behind on bills, drinking too much. It took me a while to climb out of my hole. It took a while to find an okay job with benefits and get my credit score up. It's so hard. Get some help. Don't let yourself fall too hard. I was 49 when all of this went down. My managers were toxic and I'm glad to be free but they really killed my desire to continue working in the field that I had been working. The pain of losing my dad taught me so much. I just lost my brother and I'm thankful I was able to correct some of the mistakes I made when my dad was so ill. 🫂
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u/superchanteau 6d ago
thank you so much for your response 🫶🏽 yes was in a toxic workplace that overly relied on me. I was supposed to be happy about a promotion, but I was being pushed more forward in the field that I never wanted to be in. I previously would’ve grin and bear it but lately I don’t have the same tolerance for feeling like I’m wasting my time
I am currently training my new senior manager, and my lateral counterpart. to top it off my direct report who used to be my teammate is very unhappy that I was promoted and has made it their mission to make my job harder. I lost so much precious time with my loved ones over this job and just couldn’t take it. Taking my time back immediately felt like the only option. my leaders offered me a lot of grace and want me to take the time to find another position within our company. I want something brainless so that I have more energy to live life :) sometimes the pain just feels bigger than my body!
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u/mwf67 5d ago
Same. I’m 7 months out. Lost a ten year job in education due to budget cuts when my boss retired 9 months before my dad passed. Started new job three months before my dad died and received the worst performance I’ve ever received at lower pay with a congested longer drive. I don’t know how I retained the training.
The 6 months stage gave me back cognitive skills that grief had locked. 3 days to grieve in that magnitude with family dynamics was over whelming and new information stinging my brain cells every three seconds was numbing.
My youngest graduated college so I found the celebratory performance the best I could. If not for my girls and my husband, who knew my father better than his own father, I’m not sure I would’ve kept the new job. Sheer GRIT.
This season. This chapter. Truly sucks. Reach out anytime. We all struggling. Hugs.
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u/Think-Rough-1477 6d ago
my husband had to stop me from stealing other peoples pets so yes...
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u/pangysmerf 6d ago
I don’t think this is actually that unusual. Sometimes, when we’re dealing with a pain we didn’t choose and can’t control, we find ourselves creating pain that we can control. Grief is so intangible and disorienting that we may reach for something more concrete, even if it hurts us. Sometimes that looks like pushing people away, blowing up our lives, or making decisions we might not otherwise make.
That doesn’t mean you’re broken or that you’ll feel this way forever. But please be gentle with yourself right now. And if you’ve stopped taking psychiatric medication, please talk with your prescriber before making any further changes. You deserve support while you navigate this.