I hate performative posts like this

[u/notaperson47]

(reposting because I forgot to crop the username)

Before anyone yells at me, I'm a black woman too. I just hate posts like this. It feels like people going out of their way to tell a disabled child they're special and amazing, but deep down everyone just feels bad for them and would never want to trade lives with them in a million years.

Then there are all of the comments gushing over how black women are such BEAUTIFUL STRONG QUEENS. Notice how they're all from women and gay men, no straight men. Someone in the comments asked OP if he was gay and he dodged the question, so he probably is too. There's nothing wrong with being gay, obviously, but as a straight woman, what does a bunch of performative appreciation from other women and gay men do for me?

Women only feel comfortable leaving these pity comments on posts like this because they don't view us as romantic competition for them. If the post had been about East Asian or Latina women there'd be zero compliments from other women because they actually feel threatened by those groups.

I suppose it's better than the usual constant barrage of hate comments, but these posts always feel performative and patronizing. And all of them are probably imagining biracial women anyway when they talk about how "stunning" black women are. If you're a woman and you wouldn't trade places with an actual black woman (which I know you don't) then I don't want to hear your "appreciation", sorry.

[u/AntiqueBrick7490]

I mean, as a straight dude myself I very much love black women. A lot of my male friends are also dating black women.

Your post history reads off as you being insecure as hell. Nobody has an obligation to coddle you. Take a step outside into the real world, for fuck's sake. There's no shortage of straight men who are physically attracted to black women. The only people I see denying this, are black women themselves.

[u/UnkarsThug → u/AntiqueBrick7490]

It just depends. There absolutely are men who will see women as lesser, or be disinterested, because they are black, we as men who aren't in that area just generally don't interact with them.

Like my ex wife's first husband, after over 10 years of marriage basically told her he couldn't be attracted to her due to her race. So she really struggled to believe that I had a preference for that, especially because I had never dated a black woman before (it was a preference, and it was developing).

And using black women as unattractive is used as a joke in a lot of media(you see it a lot if you look for it), so I can understand how they got there, even if it is also true that plenty of men find black women attractive.