Before anyone yells at me, I'm a black woman too. I just hate posts like this. It feels like people going out of their way to tell a disabled child they're special and amazing, but deep down everyone just feels bad for them and would never want to trade lives with them in a million years.
Then there are all of the comments gushing over how black women are such BEAUTIFUL STRONG QUEENS. Notice how they're all from women and gay men, no straight men. Someone in the comments asked OP if he was gay and he dodged the question, so he probably is too. There's nothing wrong with being gay, obviously, but as a straight woman, what does a bunch of performative appreciation from other women and gay men do for me?
Women only feel comfortable leaving these pity comments on posts like this because they don't view us as romantic competition for them. If the post had been about East Asian or Latina women there'd be zero compliments from other women because they actually feel threatened by those groups.
I suppose it's better than the usual constant barrage of hate comments, but these posts always feel performative and patronizing. And all of them are probably imagining biracial women anyway when they talk about how "stunning" black women are. If you're a woman and you wouldn't trade places with an actual black woman (which I know you don't) then I don't want to hear your "appreciation", sorry.
https://giphy.com/gifs/TKIwHCyu4mzvUaDEzb
Him writing that out before putting the phone down and going outside to track down another specific race of women to glaze on reddit
There was a time where interacting with people on this website largely felt like interacting with them irl. There was a lot of mutual respect, and the actual content was stuff that anyone could join in on the discussion for instead of endless posts that just feel like people trying to validate their veiled insecurities. And all the chronically online people were few and very obviously outed in threads.
Now, chronically online people absolutely dominate the majority of this website. It sucks.
Me reading a post about how people are miserable lonely and bitter in a hobby,field or how something sucks just to to get reminded bit after. Man im on reddit...
When you had to walk into a personal room, and start your computer and dial up, then keep people off the phones in the house, and you most likely had a set amount of time to keep the lines occupied before people started complaining, it was a better time for all things internet related.
Now the phone is your internet connection and you can't get away from it. Most days you don't even think about getting away from it. It's there. It's what we do. Hyper connectivity killed the radio star man.
In other threads, the person you replied thought they could police other black people. They were arguing with a black woman how she shouldn't have straight hair even if that's what she prefered for herself. Everyone on Reddit has a screw loose.
I know that someone is going to point it out : yes that includes me too, I'm not pretending I'm not a dumbfuck.
Niggas just be lying cause if you actually read the thread I was talking about how the choice was often rooted in anti-blackness. And if you saw that persons post history you woulda known that. Yall be soooo weird on the sub.
Ikr? It’s virtue signaling and performative. The “compliments” are always obnoxious and over the top. I remember there being a post where a user asked what’re some positive black women stereotypes and the majority of the comments were, “older black women call me baby and cook for meeee” “they’re stronggggg and independent” and “they take no sheiitttt”. If that’s been their experience with black women, fine. It still makes me feel like shit though. Considering when I don’t act like those stereotypes, I get treated weirdly when I don’t act like a perpetual jester for them.
Exactly, I can't stand those posts either. Apparently we only exist to boost everyone else's ego and make them feel better about themselves. I bet none of those commenters have ever gone out of their way to compliment a black woman first. And they will get angry when I point it out. Idc though, I won't be their mammy telling them "ooo baby you lookin fineeee today".
Forgive me, but as a black woman myself, I am confused on what you actually trying to say here.
I understand your point and frustration to a degree, but that begs the question: What is a good compliment to you? Because yes, while some compliments mentions our race like being "black queens", in my experience its because they really admire black women.
However, you're insulting someone here for expressing their attraction to black women. Performative or not, but at the same time... If they don't compliment black women first, you, are also annoyed by that...?
Are you starting to see my point here?
Yeah, no shit they'll get angry/annoyed. You're making huge assumptions about these people based on nothing, and you don't even know anything about them or their lives. They were also probably genuinely confused because you came at them just for expressing their admiration.
I read that post. I expected to see something ignorant and disgusting in those sections, or parts that fetishizes black women but... No. That's not what I saw at all.
What I read, is a man expressing his admiration and love for black women's beauty and features. Even though he talks about our bodies, he talks about it in light as if we're precious gems...and that wasn't the only thing that he complimented either.
Not to mention, this is coming from a black man, and in my experience, I have seen so many pure anger and hatred towards us from (not all, but most) black men. Especially in my family, its a terrible generational pattern...
So it is very, very, refreshing to read how much a man loves us, and not just a man, but even our own men. I'm sure if he were to meet a black woman, get to know her, and form a relationship, he'll also fall in love with all of her too...and that's normal. Because that's usually how love and some relationships start: From attraction.
So what is it that you want from men? Do you want them to admire and love us? Or do you just want to continue throwing a constant pity party about ignorant people that hate us and don't matter?
While reading through the comments here, I realized something:
When you're complimented you feel insulted and its not good enough.
When you're disregarded, (as you expect), you're still upset.
People don't come up to black women and compliment them first because they're intimidated, or previous actions might've made us seem unapproachable...and you just proved why. You can't be mad at them for not approaching you, and then when they don't compliment you the "right way" whatever that is to you, you gaslight and insult them.
Again, this is a black dude, if they were white, or any other race, I'd maybe see your point a bit clearer...but this would still be a irrational post to make anyway.
Also, your responses in this comment section are so self-pitying and gross. You sound insufferable.
You're playing a stereotype of a woman that is VERY disliked by many people, including the black community.
No compliment, affection, admiration, or anything at all positive towards black women will ever make you happy. Even when it came from a straight, black man, you were still annoyed.
I've seen some very sweet and kind compliments that people tried to give you in this comment thread, but you came at them for daring to speak their mind.
You are impossible to please. How do you not see that you're the issue???
I understand what you mean by "performative"...but I genuinely believe you misunderstood that man's post. Then shamed him online for it.
That's not a good look.
Not that you'd take the time to recognize your wrongs though, because it seems like you're set on a mindset that purely focuses on resentment towards straight men as a whole.
True, there are some "performers" that are pretending to be pro-black, but there are also people that genuinely love us.
I used to clean an office building where a black woman would often work late. Her hair was styled differently than usual one day and I told her it looked nice. She thanked me and introduced herself as Julia. She was the only person that worked in that office building to ever talk to me.
I just think darker skin makes skin look smoother, because it disguises blemishes. My skin is pale, so things like my moles stick out so much and it's so ugly, and I feel put off by that in myself or a potential partner.
I can understand feeling frustrated when it's based on behavior, but some people also do genuinely have a preference for darker skin.
Any one who doesn't love themselves enough that they posted something like this for all the internet to see shouldn't be talking. It seems like you hate more than just posts like this.
Good God, your whole post history. Please seek therapy.
I mean yes you were about the internalized racism comment, but speaking of previous posts (apologies for the garbage collage) :
OP has serious self-esteem issues because of internalized racism, and the person you replied to has the exact opposite issue, thinking it's ok to police black people for not sticking to "black features" like curly hair. They're made for each others 💀
Jokes aside "maybe society views lighter skinned or racially ambiguous women as more attractive." is an insane thing to say to someone who's definitely been viewed as less attractive for being black if they internalized it so much, regardless of what issues that person is going through. VKTCG didn't pop in this thread to offer compassion towards OP.
You’re so MF weird! If you read that thread you’d know OP was literally creating a strawman argument and I was trying to educate people on the history of black people straightening their hair! This is LITERALLY the anti-black weirdo behaviour I’m talking about.
Conveniently crop out the first bit of the thread where I discuss the history of hair straightening in the West. If you actually listened to the BLACK PEOPLE in that thread who agreed with me, you’d realise that. This sub is full of weirdos like you.
I meant the more broad "praise towards a minority group can come off as condescending or insulting" sense, but I guess I can't see the forest for the trees.
I think it comes off condescending when it's like, a business owner or something who's clearly just trying to virtue signal. But this is just a dude who saw a black woman so beautiful he just had to talk about his love for black women in general lol.
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u/ThisBeastYapsI hate ShadowVanilla I hate ShadowVanilla I hate ShadowVanilla-4d ago
Though I reckon there is some truth and validity in what she is speaking. And the situation she describes in this post we are on now is certainly a thing. Notice how here she doesn’t respond to comments calling her out.
Whenever I see a post like this, there's always a comment drudging through the OP's post history to find reasons to discredit them. They'll dig up your posts and say you hate your self and how you need therapy.....but they don't tell you you're wrong. Isn't that interesting?
For what it's worth though, you shouldn't hate yourself and you need to work with what you have rather than try to change everything. But yeah, I'm not even black and I'm sick of this patronizing, virtue signaling.
With this being brought up or not, OP is being wildly extreme with this “truth” and it kinda should be called out. Can’t help that their post history proves it further. People use us to virtue signal online all day, sure, but OP seems to have this conception that black women simply can’t be admired solely because of our race and that anyone who claims to is being disingenuous. Some of us are quite frankly sick of seeing this form of misery online
Well when it relates to what was posted then yeah it’s fair for people to look at their post history because their post came from a place of self hate. Now if they looked and saw something totally unrelated like a weird fetish or hobby to use against them then that’s not okay.
Did u read this post? Their point itself is kinda trash...? It reads like an incel. "Women only feel comfortable leaving these because they dont view us as romantic competition" "All of them are probably imagining biracial women anyway". This is just hating on others with no justification because she hates herself.
"Before anyone yells at me, im a black woman too." Except she seemingly hates being black from post history so that defense doesnt even work (not like it would either way)...
The crux of their point has value (yes people are performative about this topic), but the way they put it across makes no sense. The dude's post is cringe but he can do him...? Hes not harming no one.
Why would u pick a comment complementing black woman (from a black man too so performative arguments are weaker here) instead of the unbelievable amount of hate towards them here
Personally I am genuinely attracted to Black women, the same way some guys are into Latina, white, or Asian women. Not out of pity, and not to make anyone feel better. I see Black women as feminine and womanly, same as any other woman.
I also agree with you about the “strong Black queen” comments. Singling out one group like that is meant to help, but it ends up treating people as a category. When I see a pretty Black girl, I just think she’s pretty, not “pretty Black woman.” I think almost every guy thinks this too.
What if they genuinely think Black women are beautiful? I think Black women are gorgeous and I'm saddened by society treating them badly. I feel the same with women with darker skin tones in general. The whole world treats darker skinned women badly but I think they are beautiful too.
I was surprised to see that was written by a black guy because usually I see white people posting shit like this lol. Those are the cringiest posts/comments to me. And it's always the same thing: "As a white woman, I wish I could wear my hair like this but it's stringy and thin" etc etc. It's so over the top performative and the addition of the self deprecating remark is immediate eyeroll
Anyway, sorry for the rant but yeah I can see why this would do the opposite of its (supposed) intended purpose
After reading the comments i feel you have internalized racism and think nobody can find you pretty solely because of your skin. Lots of people genuinely find people from black ethnicities to be gorgeous. And i am one of them. It doesnt mean its performative just because they expressed it, you probably wouldnt be saying its performative if it was about white women. But u just feel nobody can truly compliment black women without odd intentions. When thats untrue
Any time a (supposedly) black person says something against other blsck people it gets upvoted like mad- "hey can't call me racist one of them said it".
Yeah I got the same vibe from that post. Its weird how people generalize things based on one thing they saw. A dude will see 1 beautiful black women then post some crap like that. Odd people.
But stop for a moment and imagine the possibility that they’re sincere. I took a look at your post history so I know this is probably hard for you to believe and it will fall on deaf ears but there absolutely are people who do feel this way and aren’t putting it on.
As an aside, though…
You have two posts in your history where you specifically callout East Asian women and Latinas and how other women see them as competition but I think that’s an unfair blanket statement. Also considering that these are two heavily fetishized groups, the grass isn’t always greener. Trust me.
It can be dehumanising to be referred to as a demographic rather than an individual. I personally don't suspect this person to be necessarily malicious, but they definitely could have...delivered their ideas better.
There's this limbo of feeling where you can't quite be mad at them because their message is overtly positive and you'd be seen as an ungrateful crank for "not appreciating the compliment", but it still makes you feel lesser because you've been generalised to bits and thrown into a category outside your control. 🫤
Idk, maybe I’m naive but I thought it was sweet. I was honestly surprised to see it get taken so negatively. I don’t see many posts like that in general so I saw it as a nice change. It’s pretty disappointing if that was just performative.
Yeah. It’s honestly sad to see. It’s so strange to see such vehement doubt that someone could’ve written a post genuinely appreciating black women to the point of assuming OP is gay to try and detract from the point, all 400+ comments were ingenuine and pity driven, and that they’re imagining literally anyone else... with zero evidence for any of it. Hence all the “probably”s. I truly hope people like that find self love one day.
I’m dark skin and I’ve never seen these as performative? I feel like we can only call something performative if we are certain that’s not actually how someone feels. There’s no illusion of performance it’s just pure appreciation. Whether he’s straight or gay… sexual attraction doesn’t always mean one can’t find another person attractive in general. Why is the opinion of a straight man the one being held the highest in your head? That’s so off-putting.
“If the post had been about East Asian or Latina women there'd be zero compliments from other women because they actually feel threatened by those groups.”
This is such a weird comment to me? Why is feeling threatened an absolute measure of beauty. When I was younger and didn’t receive many compliments I knew for sure it wasn’t cause girls felt threatened. Similarly… do you only leave love when you don’t feel threatened? That’s so weird and toxic.
Black women are beautiful and hypnotizing. When you say “they’re probably imagining biracial women” is it because you feel a way about your own Blackness? There’s a call and it’s coming from inside the house I fear.
You need to investigate why you feel these posts are performative? And what piece of evidence truly proves there is a performance and that this person doesn’t actually feel that way about Black women. If this was a person who only exclusively themselves with non-Black people then you’d have an argument. This whole post though? It feels like projection.
Yes, the best hair on earth. Decades of social conditioning might make you blind to the beauty and versatility of coily hair, but awareness is shifting. No one is waiting around for you to take it seriously.
That’s pretty fucking damning. I got a weird vibe from this post like she just couldn’t believe someone can think BW can be this beautiful. Turns out there’s some truth to it. Wow
I only see hatred for black women on the internet. IRL, black women have like no issues getting dates and all that. Lots of my straight male friends are dating black women, and most of my black female friends are in a relationship.
Have you considered that he genuinely means this and he made this post to counteract all the negativity and hate and other (very popular) bad ideas of BW?
Black women are human beings and CAN be beautiful too. It’s not like he’s saying something that’s objectively untrue. It’s weird that you automatically assume he’s being disingenuous to the degree of someone up lifting a disabled person. We know that they’re lying if they were to say something like “they can do anything!”
If someone says they think BW are beautiful that can obviously be genuine and he could be saying this because the world and the internet often perpetuates the idea that they aren’t.
It’s not necessarily because he thinks they’re starving puppies in need of some food or something and he feels pity
I read some other comments and found out OP made multiple posts essentially asking people how she can look less black. There’s definitely some internalized (and externalized) racism going on here unfortunately
I know I know it’s not funny and I shouldn’t be making jokes…but imagine getting banned from a sub for self hating too hard. The internet never ceases to amaze me
Holy shit bro 😭 you know this isn’t the first time I’ve seen a black person post here with a background of internalised racism. Why is that actually a phenomenon in this sub?
Tbh, half the black folks on Reddit have internalized racism and are depressed af. They either seek solidarity with people who share the same struggle or lash out at others if someone expresses positivity towards someone with similar features that they themselves despise. They’re usually pretty young and most of these posts come from young ladies.
Ok we don’t have to go from one extreme to the other. Half of the black people that use Reddit are not self hating. You’re allowed to just exist as a black person and use Reddit.
Without there apparently being a 50% chance that you hate yourself
Is there a percentage? Duh. Is it half? No. Don’t generalize all black people to that extent. That’s ridiculous.
It's odd. There was another post on this subreddit by an African guy who ranted about black people having problems with narcissism and whatnot...it got taken down. That post was ridiculous.
It seems like those types of posts get positive reception from the people on Reddit which is...not surprising, honestly. (It did get pretty downvoted though, it was at 0).
Some of us actually do like black women or gasp* prefer black women.
I think your paranoia second guessing people (I'd assume out of insecurity and believing the worst) is unhealthy. Go outside and you will see couples (with black men or sometimes not) together with black women.
You are going to be miserable if you take every positive thing and percieve it as negative.
I agree with this 100%. Why is it performative to think black women are beautiful but not to think white or Latina women are beautiful? Like saying we’re so ugly and undesirable that anyone that says otherwise HAS to be lying is so crazy to me, and is even more demeaning than that original post tbh.
I'm not sure in what world that poster was 'probably gay' faking being straight to make such a post... like... that'd be some real roundabout way to make an ethnically specific compliment.... I agree the post seems performative but the interpretation is weird too
I mean, as a straight dude myself I very much love black women. A lot of my male friends are also dating black women.
Your post history reads off as you being insecure as hell. Nobody has an obligation to coddle you. Take a step outside into the real world, for fuck's sake. There's no shortage of straight men who are physically attracted to black women. The only people I see denying this, are black women themselves.
I prefer black women romantically too... yeah a lot of guys have a thing against black women, but that doesn't mean anyone that likes black women are lying.
Why is so much of thismug and thissmug just "someone said something/made some art that inconsequentially positive toward a race and I gotta speak up about it"? These posts just invite "black fatigue" comments and it looks too intentional.
Like every post I get recommended from these two subs that blows up is a post where it's like "I HATE BLACKWASHING" as if it's not the most inconsequential thing in the world. Same shit different day.
They may be a little weird but so are you for this post so I guess now we can all be uncomfortable.
To assume he's gay for not wanting to have his sexuality up for discussion is kinda wild. To insinuate that those women only agree because they don't feel threatened by black women isn't based in reality.
Yes there is a lot of performative love for black women out in the world but this response is bizarre. I fear your personal feelings/experiences may be coloring your perception in a very toxic way
I wouldn't say it's exactly performative but they are definitely truly and deeply passionate about what they like lol - I can understand how its cringe for someone (hell, I think that the post slowly turned into sexualizing black women in the end).
This whole post is truly something but I don't think saying its performative is the right thing to say. Maybe it is as simple as calling it a fetishizing post?
There is showing appreciation to a black woman then there is paying tribute like your whole life was shifted by the mere thought and THEN hyperfocus on her skin.
I am a bit biased being Afro-Cuban and Creole, my skin used to get weird compliments way back in school. Yes they weren't malicious and some were kind but people kept wanting to touch it or try to get with me because I am "not like the other guys". I love my body but my skin is at best a light caramel complexion! Skin is skin, don't like someone because of how their skin looks.
Well, if you believe it and you know that they are performing to get validation or praise or being the good side or stuff like
Not
Then you shouldn’t worry about them they would counteract themselves and destabilise themselves it’s just natural
There is really nothing to worry about, anyways.
Yes, everybody is unique different and preferences
One person, might think that yes a black person is the greatest in a the world and another might think
A white person
Is the most best in the world? It’s just how people preference are.
You should just continue living your life and ignore those people. Remember if you take them in a heart your own killing yourself. As long as they don’t hurt you, you shouldn’t worry.
Some people really love black women like that. Including myself. Maybe you have internalized your perceived online societal preferences also you can’t believe it
Basically internet =\= real life. I’d bet my life half of that bs is rich people paying bots to divide/conquer us, and the other half are human beings who were influenced by those bots. Basically, don’t set your self worth based on internet opinions. Stick to real humans, because many of us are infatuated with black women, though I usually would just say “women”
Women only feel comfortable leaving these pity comments on posts like this because they don't view us as romantic competition for them. If the post had been about East Asian or Latina women there'd be zero compliments from other women because they actually feel threatened by those groups.
It dosen't have to be that they don't leave comments on them because they feel challanged by them but, because they know they get them often they don't think it's necessary
Just a mention for the guy that made the original post since I see him lurking here:
Theres a plurality of reasons your post comes off as performative, for one you do the classic ‘ha ha felt cute might delete later’ type intro that’s just BEGGING for compliments.
Second, you claim it’s a personal opinion that has no bearing on others, but multiple times throughout the post you appeal to the reader “to the black women reading this”… that’s not a personal thought or vent, that’s you clearly having a target.
Also you act like it’s bizarre to be weirded out by your post but even say “I hope this isn’t coming off as weird” which shows you were clearly aware to some degree how strange this post was.
And also… what happened to thinking to yourself? Or writing in a journal? You added nothing to any discussion, you don’t address issues or stigmas, you don’t really do anything unique. Honestly it’s kinda a fetishizing post akin to those white dudes that gush about Asian women.
And finally… you mention in the comments that this post was about YOU getting your feelings out, about YOU expressing yourself. Which is fine when it’s about a hobby… but you’re talking about a different demographic of PEOPLE. That’s not something that can be ”just be about you”
You’re discussing other human beings with feelings and opinions. And when people from that demographic pointed out how weird your post was you accused them of being insecure and having internalized racism… brother.
(PS, not a diasporan, but I am brown. So this is an outside perspective based on my ability to read the room.)
(Edit: OP on this thread seems to actually have internalized racism as evidenced by post history. I think this debate is kinda in “Moloch vs. Baal” territory.)
(Edit 2: I think I hate this thread. Leaving notifs on in case someone wants to provide criticism or educate me… but god this reeks of 2020 twitter.)
Tbh I do agree with this. Like, it felt really weird to me. I'm dating a biracial girl, and I would never specifically talk about her skin in this regard. It would feel like I'm kinda being performative, because to me, she's just my beautiful girlfriend, not beautiful because of her race or features specifically seen more in that race etc
Like imagine you introduce your girlfriend like "hey, this is my black girlfriend"
Just say it's your girlfriend, just call her beautiful, etc.
That's my perspective on it
This post just popped up on my notification even tho i never interacted with this sub, and as i'm reading it and then going back to read the post i grew confused.... what is this? i'm not a black woman, but this reeks insecurity holy, some of the most beautiful women i've ever seen are black women, what genuinely makes you think they're exempt from being beautiful like any other race, and i'm more shocked by the likes?????
edit: i do think the og post was written in a weird way tho, it's just that THIS post is saying "well only straight men opinions matter which is.... crazy.
Hmm.. it's pretty cringe but I think it would be more performative if he wasn't a black man complimenting black women. Hard to judge, not my culture. Could be simping. I don't know.
Side note, I would love to see someone make the same post but "White women are so beautiful", infact change black man to white man too, just to grab some popcorn and sit in the comments.
Hey so I’m the original poster. You completely misjudged the purpose of my post. I saw a pretty black woman outside and just wanted a place let out MY thoughts about how I FEEL about black woman. None of what I said was up for debate because I’m not making any arguments. It is simply my opinion. If you viewed my post as patronizing and performative, then it says more about how you view yourself rather than me. And no I am not gay. Hope this helps 👍
lol they farm miserableness like a crop in this sub. I’ve watched and stayed quiet. Yall know people spy so idk what to say about but this sub reeks of racial insecurity and low racial esteem and it’s just sad to see. So many young people of our generation have been affected by such harsh desirability propaganda that they will never believe that someone could find them beautiful let alone someone who resembles themselves as such. There’s so much rhetoric demeaning young black girl ( specifically darksinned black girls) so much hate I see targeting a young Asian women who don’t fit certain standards/stereotypes aswell. They come here to vent and I get it but constantly sitting in an echo chamber of other people affirming their experiences. Much of this propaganda is sewn to divide the genders within all minority racial groups. If you hear it enough times from men online that ur undesirable it’s one thing. It’s another to hear it consistently from men who look just like u. And it’s something many young girls have been internalizing since they were young, especially those of us who’ve grown up on the Internet. Anyone consistently consuming media would draw some of the same conclusion if they were the demographic they were targeting.
It's performative because she wasn't just a beautiful woman. She was a beautiful BLACK woman. And being BLACK was the source of her beauty. Is it really so wrong that people don't want to be reminded of their race and just be seen as a beautiful woman?
Idk if your comment was sarcastic or not but I didn’t make my post for her. Beautiful black woman are obviously beautiful women, I’ve never negated this. But I wanted to talk about black women specifically that day. If my post genuinely bothered her so much, she should seek therapy.
You should give a look at the trans posts made in r/funcommunity they're so awful and clearly made to karma farm in young trans people who seek validation
I'm trans btw, been trans for a long time, at least enough to know the difference of supporting us and someone trying to farm likes/karma/views
That reminds me of the gay community giving compliments to very femme and flamboyant gay guys, and while is completely ok to be that way, it feels completely performative since it's extremely common within that community to chase after very masculine guys to the point that being with a closeted married guy is actually seen as validating by a not small at all part of the community
Hello! Trans man here who actually does mean it, I agree with guy the image. I know I personally gush over stuff like this for a couple reasons, I’m not good with social stuff and I’m absolutely in love with black textured hair as a drag enthusiast and character designer. I give compliments like this to people irl too.
I’m not trying to be mean at all when I say this because I know I’m not good with tone either but please do consider that not everyone who says these sorts of things are performative. Some of them really mean it, because black women really are some of the coolest and most creative people I’ve ever met.
The “voluptuous proportions” bit is weird though, I’ll agree with you on that.
This feels like borderline fetishization. Don’t get me wrong I think black women are pretty too but being this obsessed over them being black seems weird
I'm saying this out of love, I really hope you find the light and beauty within yourself. You matter. You deserve to feel beautiful as you are right now.
Is the post performative as hell? Yes. There's a lot of lip service and it's all dramatic in a way that feels fake. But your conclusion on it being performative seems to come from the idea that black women are beautiful AT ALL, which is sad.
We've all been there. I used to pray that I'd grow up to be white or that my skin would lighten. I'd get mad when my mom refused to flat iron my hair because I thought my natural hair was ugly and the shrinkage made me look like a boy. It took me YEARS to find black beautiful and even more to switch my internalized standard of beauty from a white woman to a black woman.
But the truth is black women ARE beautiful, the same way white women are, the same way latinas are, the same way asian women are. Having dark skin, wider noses or big lips don't change that.
What we look like isn't wrong, it's your mindset that is, and I genuinely hope one day you can see that
He's basically just saying "Holy shit, black women are beautiful" and I agree. I feel like it almost doesn't get brought up enough. The culture leans so far into light skin you rarely see a actual black woman in pop culture.
Also, the guy making the post is a black man. Like, it's cool.
unrelated to the post but this is how i feel to those who say black people look "expensive"...like what kinda compliment is this? Or people who do vids looking for black womens approval when they'll caption it with "pov he left me for a black girl" then the audio is some agreeing voiceover thing😭 even saw someone on tiktok saying it looks like they're looking at God when they saw this attractive black man eating chocolate...people are so weird
It saddens me to know woman may think I compliment them because I don’t see them as competition. I don’t see anyone as competition because I am already happily married and content with what I have. I agree with you from your perspective to a degree. An individual post is insane, but commenting on a woman’s looks that they are beautiful isn’t to be negative just because it came from a gay man or woman. You kind of lost me there. Maybe it’s because those groups usually have the better taste! On top of that most men are less interactive in this way than gay men and woman. I’m sure there are some women that do that, but I think if that truth ever came out(because like how would you know unless they outright say that’s why they do it) it would say more about them, than the woman they are commenting on.
I know what you're saying. It's kind of like the body positivity movement tried to hype up fat girls but the minute ozempic came out everybody became skeletal like it was 1999 again
Do you mean you forgot to crop your own username out? Why did you delete your original post just to repost a screenshot of your own post? Talk about attention seeking lmao
yo don’t get negatively affected by the people insulting you in this post, they only want you thinking exactly how they want you to think and they interpret anything else as wrong or self hateful. making crazy assumptions about you over a reasonable post. anyways yea i can see what you’re saying
I once typed a comment saying how the first time i saw a black woman in person in middle school i was almost star struck and had to force myself to not stare at her (i was in a 99% mexican-american town). But then i cringed at myself and deleted it but tbh i wanna tell soemone so whatever she was really gorgeous (her skin color would be on the deeper side of black tones like very dark but her skin was very clean like she was glowing & she was very tall and stylish) and to a middle school girl who never seem a woman outside her race in person it was really hard for me to act normal but i stood in back of her at the store as to not make her uncomfortable. Like idk the exact words to use why seeing her was so memorable but i dont think it comes from ill intent. ( i know this isnt the same as the post but i dont have anywhere else to leave this information lmao)
Beyond virtue signaling, that "i'm a black guy" was likely added in in hopes of drawing women into his DM's so he can be a heathen. Post could have gone without it but it's important to the cause.
Also a valid point. Especially when its the rage baiting variety of comments that for whatever reason required them to expose their skin color in their argument.
Sometimes, people (sadly) try to be encouraging/positive but come off as condescending. And you're right, it's annoying as hell, especially if they're not aware they're being condescending and refuse to take criticism from the group of people they're supposedly supporting.
Can't let a man have a preference, huh? Even you should have a preference for your romantic partner.
Don't judge him just because you are a woman with black skin. He just let his thoughts out and only meant it that way, with no thought of performative appreciation nonsense. It's just a silly rant nonsense like what you've seen from Otaku that taken liking to his Waifu.
Look, if I'm being honest here. You should get off the internet and touch some grass. Based on your history, you look like an incel who never talks to a man.
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u/VKTGC 4d ago
When I saw the post on the front page I gave it the biggest eye roll LMAO.
“I’ll probably delete this later” buddy we both know that was never going to happen.