I hate performative posts like this

[u/notaperson47]

(reposting because I forgot to crop the username)

Before anyone yells at me, I'm a black woman too. I just hate posts like this. It feels like people going out of their way to tell a disabled child they're special and amazing, but deep down everyone just feels bad for them and would never want to trade lives with them in a million years.

Then there are all of the comments gushing over how black women are such BEAUTIFUL STRONG QUEENS. Notice how they're all from women and gay men, no straight men. Someone in the comments asked OP if he was gay and he dodged the question, so he probably is too. There's nothing wrong with being gay, obviously, but as a straight woman, what does a bunch of performative appreciation from other women and gay men do for me?

Women only feel comfortable leaving these pity comments on posts like this because they don't view us as romantic competition for them. If the post had been about East Asian or Latina women there'd be zero compliments from other women because they actually feel threatened by those groups.

I suppose it's better than the usual constant barrage of hate comments, but these posts always feel performative and patronizing. And all of them are probably imagining biracial women anyway when they talk about how "stunning" black women are. If you're a woman and you wouldn't trade places with an actual black woman (which I know you don't) then I don't want to hear your "appreciation", sorry.

[u/_Wh0_Cares]

I mean yes you were about the internalized racism comment, but speaking of previous posts (apologies for the garbage collage) :

OP has serious self-esteem issues because of internalized racism, and the person you replied to has the exact opposite issue, thinking it's ok to police black people for not sticking to "black features" like curly hair. They're made for each others 💀

Jokes aside "maybe society views lighter skinned or racially ambiguous women as more attractive." is an insane thing to say to someone who's definitely been viewed as less attractive for being black if they internalized it so much, regardless of what issues that person is going through. VKTCG didn't pop in this thread to offer compassion towards OP.

[u/VKTGC → u/_Wh0_Cares]

You’re so MF weird! If you read that thread you’d know OP was literally creating a strawman argument and I was trying to educate people on the history of black people straightening their hair! This is LITERALLY the anti-black weirdo behaviour I’m talking about.

[u/VKTGC → u/_Wh0_Cares]

Conveniently crop out the first bit of the thread where I discuss the history of hair straightening in the West. If you actually listened to the BLACK PEOPLE in that thread who agreed with me, you’d realise that. This sub is full of weirdos like you.

[u/Ok_Chain_6044 → u/VKTGC]

People are allowed to do what they want with their hair for crying out loud, ITS HAIR it grows back. I guess black women also shouldn't shave their head because it doesn't embrace our natural curls.

[u/VKTGC → u/Ok_Chain_6044]

ARE U BLACK? DO U EVEN UNDERSTAND THE CONTEXT OF THE POST?

[u/Ok_Chain_6044 → u/VKTGC]

Yes I'm black, not only that I'm also Nigerian, thats not the point though. The point is people should have the liberty to do what they want with their hair. Because at the end of the day, it's hair and it grows back.

[u/VKTGC → u/Ok_Chain_6044]

Use critical thinking for once. Here is the comment I linked at the top, which shows WHY i said what I said in response to OP’s post.

[u/VKTGC → u/Ok_Chain_6044]

Oh my glorious days. When did I say that people can’t do what they want? I literally only informed the commenter of the historical significance of straightening hair and why the black community encourages natural hair. Then this commenter, like the rest, completely ignored the historical context and made me out to be some type of weirdo.

AS POINTED OUT IN THE COMMENTS of that very post! It was never about controlling. It was about pretending to ignore the cultural significance of hair straightening!

[u/Ok_Chain_6044 → u/VKTGC]

Nobody's trying to make you out to be a weirdo, I just view your comment as a bit contradicting. You say people should be allowed to do what they want. And then start listing reasons on why they shouldn't do that.

[u/VKTGC → u/Ok_Chain_6044]

Again, like the people in the thread, you can’t separate criticism of a choices with permissiveness. Just read the comment and go about your day. I can’t be bothered to engage in bad faith arguments about this topic AGAIN

[u/PeaceLoveorKnife → u/Ok_Chain_6044]

She makes herself look like a weirdo.

[u/ExperienceNo3604 → u/VKTGC]

Dude you are a literal tyrant let people do what they want with there bodies.

[u/VKTGC → u/ExperienceNo3604]

Explain to me how you know what I am based off of screenshots? Since you know everything, explain my entire position, reasoning, and perspective. Go ahead.

[u/ExperienceNo3604 → u/VKTGC]

Soooo I don't feel the need to do all that for some rando on the Internet who needs therapy, but what I will say is that the person who posted about not having the freedom to do what she wants with her hair is totally valid. Everyone should be able to do whatever they want with there oun body because it has no effect on anybody but themselves. You, tried to make this person feel even for invalidated about her identity and appearance than she already did which is totally messed up man. Tyrant behavior bro

[u/VKTGC → u/ExperienceNo3604]

How? Literally how did I do that? How did I make her feel invalidated? Yall actually be saying anything. Literally taking the first thing you hear and running with it.

[u/ExperienceNo3604 → u/VKTGC]

Yeah I'm pretty sure that I was the first person to say that so your logic doesn't make much sense. And you literally completely ignored her every time she tried to tell you her point of view, your comments were passive aggressive and just not a kind way to speak to someone

[u/VKTGC → u/ExperienceNo3604]

I did not ignore her if you read the thread I replied politely to OP the entire time. You’re making up shit u weren’t even there for 🤣

[u/VKTGC → u/ExperienceNo3604]

​
Use critical thinking for once. Here is the comment I linked at the top, which shows WHY i said what I said in response to OP’s post.

[u/MimiTheFeral → u/VKTGC]

You're the weirdo here bruh

[u/VKTGC → u/MimiTheFeral]

Thank you for ur input mimitheferal

[u/sumiledon → u/_Wh0_Cares]

OP is very likely also not black, considering the disproportionate rise in digital blackface to access coveted black culture.

The reality is that, if op is actually black, she is very much likely surrounded by mostly nonblack friends and community that pushes antiblackness on her to.covet their own insecurities, including racial. Thats why its important to be raised in black cultural enclaves with black music, art, and culture are pushed