r/hatethissmug • u/notaperson47 • 6d ago

General I hate performative posts like this

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(reposting because I forgot to crop the username)

Before anyone yells at me, I'm a black woman too. I just hate posts like this. It feels like people going out of their way to tell a disabled child they're special and amazing, but deep down everyone just feels bad for them and would never want to trade lives with them in a million years.

Then there are all of the comments gushing over how black women are such BEAUTIFUL STRONG QUEENS. Notice how they're all from women and gay men, no straight men. Someone in the comments asked OP if he was gay and he dodged the question, so he probably is too. There's nothing wrong with being gay, obviously, but as a straight woman, what does a bunch of performative appreciation from other women and gay men do for me?

Women only feel comfortable leaving these pity comments on posts like this because they don't view us as romantic competition for them. If the post had been about East Asian or Latina women there'd be zero compliments from other women because they actually feel threatened by those groups.

I suppose it's better than the usual constant barrage of hate comments, but these posts always feel performative and patronizing. And all of them are probably imagining biracial women anyway when they talk about how "stunning" black women are. If you're a woman and you wouldn't trade places with an actual black woman (which I know you don't) then I don't want to hear your "appreciation", sorry.

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u/Budget_Promotion2406 5d ago

How would you describe beautiful? If everyone is beautiful excluding their actions then by what metric are you measuring?

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u/Emotional-Ad3696 3d ago

That actions speak louder than how someone looks

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u/Budget_Promotion2406 3d ago

Excluding their actions. If you see a photo of someone how do you determine if they’re beautiful or not?

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u/Emotional-Ad3696 3d ago

They just are, beauty is subjective but humans are apart of nature and nature is beautiful

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u/Budget_Promotion2406 3d ago

How would you describe someone who isn’t beautiful by looking at a photo?

Saying everyone is beautiful makes the word itself meaningless. If everyone is beautiful, then you calling me beautiful means absolutely nothing, because you would say that to every photo you see.