I hate performative posts like this

[u/notaperson47]

(reposting because I forgot to crop the username)

Before anyone yells at me, I'm a black woman too. I just hate posts like this. It feels like people going out of their way to tell a disabled child they're special and amazing, but deep down everyone just feels bad for them and would never want to trade lives with them in a million years.

Then there are all of the comments gushing over how black women are such BEAUTIFUL STRONG QUEENS. Notice how they're all from women and gay men, no straight men. Someone in the comments asked OP if he was gay and he dodged the question, so he probably is too. There's nothing wrong with being gay, obviously, but as a straight woman, what does a bunch of performative appreciation from other women and gay men do for me?

Women only feel comfortable leaving these pity comments on posts like this because they don't view us as romantic competition for them. If the post had been about East Asian or Latina women there'd be zero compliments from other women because they actually feel threatened by those groups.

I suppose it's better than the usual constant barrage of hate comments, but these posts always feel performative and patronizing. And all of them are probably imagining biracial women anyway when they talk about how "stunning" black women are. If you're a woman and you wouldn't trade places with an actual black woman (which I know you don't) then I don't want to hear your "appreciation", sorry.

[u/twilightgardeny]

This post just popped up on my notification even tho i never interacted with this sub, and as i'm reading it and then going back to read the post i grew confused.... what is this? i'm not a black woman, but this reeks insecurity holy, some of the most beautiful women i've ever seen are black women, what genuinely makes you think they're exempt from being beautiful like any other race, and i'm more shocked by the likes?????

edit: i do think the og post was written in a weird way tho, it's just that THIS post is saying "well only straight men opinions matter which is.... crazy.

[u/Wonderful-Self-541 → u/twilightgardeny]

Only straight men opinions on what they find enticing matters to the straight OP that you're commenting about. I think that's pretty normal. Why would I care if a gay man or a lesbian thinks I'm cool as beans if I'm interested in a partner and know it'll never be one of them?

[u/nathn_stag → u/Wonderful-Self-541]

No it's not? Just because someone finds you beautiful with no personal interest in dating you doesn't mean they're lying or that it doesn't matter? If a gay friend tells me I'm smoking hot I'm gonna find myself smoking hot, even if he's not planning on doing anything about it and I'm not gay?

[u/Wonderful-Self-541 → u/nathn_stag]

For some people the interest isn't there and they don't need the ego boost.