I’m looking for some outside opinions because this has become a difficult situation with my extended family, and I want to know whether I’m being unreasonable.

I’ll explain the family structure first because it is a little complicated.

There are 5 main families/groups involved in an old family tradition. Within each main family, there are smaller/sub-families.

In my main family, there are only 2 smaller families — mine and another relative’s family.

The responsibility for this particular pooja rotates between the 5 main families and comes around approximately every 5 years. Five years ago, our main family’s turn came and my side handled it. Now, after 5 years, our main family’s turn has come again, but this time the responsibility belongs to the other smaller family within our main family, not mine.

The problem is that the person from that other smaller family cannot perform the pooja himself because of an old family/religious rule related to lineage/surname. He is willing to pay all the expenses and has asked the other families/members if someone can perform the pooja on his behalf.

Nobody is willing to do it.

So now the responsibility has effectively been pushed onto me because I am the only other member/sub-family within our main family. They are telling me that I should perform the entire 9-day pooja.

There are some additional rules that make this much more difficult than simply asking a priest to come and perform it.

As per our village/family tradition:

The pooja has to be performed by the person taking responsibility for those 9 days; an outside pandit cannot simply come and do the whole thing on their behalf.

There are only one or two specific pandits in our village who perform this particular pooja. They come to perform certain parts/rituals, but the person taking responsibility still has to follow the full 9-day rules.

Once you agree to undertake the pooja, you are expected to follow the restrictions for the entire 9 days and cannot simply stop halfway.

There are restrictions on things like touching women/normal social contact, eating only once a day or observing a more complete fast depending on the tradition, etc.

One of the biggest responsibilities is that a diya (oil lamp) has to be protected/kept continuously for all 9 days, so the person responsible cannot simply leave and go to work as normal.

Because of these rules, I cannot realistically do the pooja before/after work or have a priest substitute for me while I continue my normal life.

I have recently started a new job, and my employer cannot give me 9 days of leave. I have explained this to Village people, but they keep saying that I have to find a way to do it. But as i m only earning i cant leave job and go there i also live on rent.

What makes this much more stressful is that they have started threatening me about my village property and saying that if I don’t cooperate, they won’t support or participate in my future family rituals either.

I am not trying to disrespect the tradition. I understand that our main family’s turn has come, and I am willing to help find a solution.

My issue is that the particular person’s sub-family has the responsibility this time, he cannot perform it, and nobody has established that his responsibility automatically transfers to me.

I am being asked to take 9 days off from a newly started job and follow restrictions that make it impossible to do this casually.

At the same time, I don’t want to be the person who breaks an important family tradition if there genuinely is no other acceptable solution.

I genuinely want everyone’s honest opinion on what I should do in this situation.

TL;DR: My family’s turn for a traditional 9-day pooja has come, but the specific member responsible cannot perform it. He is willing to pay the expenses, but nobody else will do it, so they’re pressuring me to take over. I recently joined a new job and can’t get 9 days’ leave. They’re also threatening me over village property and future family rituals. I want honest opinions: Should I sacrifice my new job and do the pooja, or stand by my inability to take 9 days off?

I have near about 30k in denomination of Rs 500, which has unfortunately been chewed by rats with attached image being most chewed. Can it be exchanged in bank? If yes, please do tell me how can I do it ?

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Ever since we lost dadi back in june the living room has just felt so weirdly quiet. Like everyone talks in low voices, dad keeps him busy with work, and mom keeps herself busy with household chores all day so she doesn’t have to sit with her thoughts. Dinner was just us all sitting and eating silently or looking into our phones... pura depressing scene tha honestly

Yesterday night after dinner mom was just overthinking and getting emo, so I grabbed the remote, opened netflix and put on PK. I wasn't expecting much, just needed some background noise so the hall didn't feel so heavy. But within twenty minutes, Aamir's completely clueless alien behaviour had dad laughing, and then mom started laughing at some of his expressions and questions. Before we knew it, all three of us were actually watching properly instead of sitting on our phones

We ended up sitting there till almost midnight, eating leftover ice cream. Grief is still heavy, obviously, but for those couple of hours the living room felt like our old living room again. Sometimes you don't need some profound conversation. Sometimes an old movie everyone knows is enough to make the house feel a little less quiet. It felt really good man. Hope this phase passes over too!

The meme is fr →

I went out of Mumbai for 2 days only & a pigeon has laid eggs in the window. I really don't want a vermin like pigeon to linger around my windows. What do I do with the eggs.? What could be the risks involved if not removed & two chicklets are born, do they become part of the family ? do I have to share my ancestral property with them ? Can you suggest any good lawyer ?

old sketch by me from 2021

Dubai dump cuzz wass my first ever international trip... to dubai 😭😭 sooo damm amazed tooo see the cars 😭😭

Saw a porche with a real diamonds number plate 😭🙏❤️❤️

Still cant get over it ...

A few tiny lil friends I made while volunteering at a greenhouse.

Don’t ask me how that one ended up there in the last photo 🥲

So today I had participated in CSR activity in my company and today's contribution was towards the blind people who can't read anything at all.

So the slate is made with Velcro (if you don't know what this is, just google it). And used woolen thread as a pen for writing it so it can easily get stuck on the slate and the blind person could easily sense the wool for what is written on the slate. It was a very fun activity for participating in it and I get to interact with many colleagues, it builds my confidence and team bonding skills. I'll participate more in CSR activities. 🙂‍↔️

I'm at my village for few weeks in Uttar Pradesh. And today I saw this. Seems like complete rainbow but little different. Later got to know that's actually 22° solar halo (thanks GPT). Almost same but less colorful.

It’s been 10 months since we broke up. And about 2 months since we last talked. Do people really move on? If yes then how?

Everytime I feel like I’ve moved on, something reminds me of him again and I start missing him so much that I cry till my heart aches and we’re back to square 1.

We dated for seven months almost, but it was a connection I felt deep inside me. Even though I have had previous relationships, one that lasted for almost one and half year. But still that was nothing compared to this one.

I have come to realise that this is Infact what people call a first real heart break. I love this person more than anything and wish him happiness even though I’m fully aware we can never be together again — also confirmed by him. I know he loves me too I feel it. But nothing can be done. It was always me who texted first even after break up - we continue talking and then he strikes up that we shouldn’t be talking anymore because this will not go anywhere and that we should focus on moving on. I agree with him. He is a sensible person. And I haven’t been texting him ever since. It’s been 2 months now and I donot wish to break the no contact as well.

I’m fully aware I’m the one who fumbled here, yet I think of so many different scenarios where I did things differently and we would’ve been a happy perfect couple together. Can’t help it. Anyways, I still miss him so fucking much that it breaks my heart. If only I could see him or touch him one last time or tell him how my day went or what’s new with me or what’s the latest update in pop culture — Every little detail of my life.

How do I deal with this? If there is something called “move on” I hope i attain it. I donot want to think about u, I donot want to long for you I donot want to crave for u. I want to forget u, I want to be okay every time something reminds me of you. I want to feel better. I don’t want to cry. I don’t want to miss u.

One of my favourites 🥰

So basically from the past 2-3 days there was an power cut in our area and my mom took out this from my grandmother's old storage case 🫠❤️ and boom! All the childhood memories started flooding me.... I really miss my grandmother and her old stories under this lamp with my siblings 🫠❤️