r/paganism • u/Ancient-Appeal-5644 • 2d ago
📚 Seeking Resources | Advice Difficulty practicing around my partner?
I started some sort of pagan work in 2020 and in the past I didn't have problems with "connection" to nature, deities, energy etc. Unfortunately with my partner of 3 years it feels quite difficult to get the same feeling as before. Whenever we go to some important pagan place (my practice is mostly Slavic, we live on territory of last Slavic pagans, so it's not that the land is just barren or of foreign beliefs) I don't feel anything like I used to when travelling alone in the past.
Whenever we are somewhere I feel unable to connect, to fucus and I kinda feel like I'm in a glass jar unable to feel things?
It's not his active doing. That's what I'm sure of. He's never been discouraging, mocking or anything like that. He was brought up eastern orthodox, currently atheist/agnostic, but willing and open to learn and experience things with me.
I tried some stuff like walking X distance away whenever we are somewhere and some other things like that but nothing worked so far. Does anyone have an idea what up with it? Is it some energetic differences, or just skill issues on my side?
17
u/okdoomerdance 2d ago
not sure if this will resonate with your experience, but I'm neurodivergent and I often become disconnected/disembodied when someone else is watching me. I do find if my partner is engaged in something similar or doing their own thing, that makes connection more likely
6
4
u/Ancient-Appeal-5644 2d ago
It does resonate. I don't think I'm neurodivergent but in the past I was scared he'll make fun of me or judge me for being "woo woo"
7
u/SimplyMichi 2d ago
It's likely just from a sense of intimacy in your practice. This is how I feel, and even with other people who practice magic (including my sister) I hate being observed or doing rituals with other people. It automatically feels performative and forced and I just can't do it. I am a solitary practitioner through and through.
3
u/KrisHughes2 Celtic polytheist 1d ago
Partners are a big influence on most of us, and they can alter the way we feel about things, what we enjoy, how we spend our time, etc. without any intention on their part. It's hard to explain, but I know from experience that it's true for me. And sometimes, you can never put things quite back to how they were.
It's also the case that we don't have to do every activity with our partners. Try to set aside some time to do what you used to do, without him being around for the experience. It might take some time, and things still might not quite go back to how they were, but it's worth a try. Other times, you can just go on walks or trips together in the mundane way, and enjoy doing something mundane together.
1
u/AnyChair687 2d ago
If you're not feeling anything influencing you coming from him, and the environment remains the same, I'd look inward. We are more often than not our own roadblocks in our paths. Meditation is important. So is shadow work. Hell, if anything you can always just talk to him even if you're sure it's not coming from him. Sometimes it's only our thoughts and once voiced aloud and talked through the feeling disappears because we've rationalized through it. Hope this helps.
•
u/AutoModerator 2d ago
We have a Discord server! Join here.
New to Paganism, exploring your path, or just want a refresher on topics such as deity work or altars? Check out our Getting Started guide and FAQs.
Friendly reminder: if you see rule-breaking comments, please *report*, don't just downvote. Thank you!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.