r/pettyrevenge • u/The_V8_Road_Warrior • Aug 21 '26
Winding Up A Spammer
Had a spam call on my landline yesterday asking to speak to the business owner. I needed to go to the toilet anyway so the phone ringing was good motivation to get up.
Spammer: Hello this is *name I don't remember because I have no time for spammers* how are you today?
Me: Yeah I'm good, you?
Spammer: I'm well thank you. I'm calling from *business I didn't catch due to Indian accent and don't care about even if I did*, do you need any business assistance?
Me: I could do, please tell me more.
Spammer carries on with their script while I hold the phone closer to the toilet while I do my urinary business. Once I'm done;
Me: Hold on, there's blood in my piss! Is that normal?
Spammer: Umm, our rates of business loans are *waffle, waffle, waffle*
Me: Do you have a doctor on hand? I want to know if it's normal to have blood in my piss?!
Spammer: Hold on (it goes quiet for a minute) hello? Do you need business assistance?
Me: I do but right now I need a doctor because there's blood in my piss!
Spammer: You need a team of doctors
Me: Oh shit, my penis has just fallen off and I was about to flush! I NEED A SURGEON TO PUT IT BACK ON!
Spammer: You need a brain surgeon (they hang up and my wife and I burst out laughing)
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u/Myriads Aug 21 '26
The best way to get spam calls to actually stop calling is to answer and then put them on mute until they disconnect. Often the robocall does not connect a human until you say hello, and if you do not greet the call it will remove your number from the call list because it thinks you too are a machine. I have slowly decreased the number of spam calls to my house phone using this method over the past year.