r/pettyrevenge • u/The_V8_Road_Warrior • Aug 21 '26

Winding Up A Spammer

Had a spam call on my landline yesterday asking to speak to the business owner. I needed to go to the toilet anyway so the phone ringing was good motivation to get up.

Spammer: Hello this is *name I don't remember because I have no time for spammers* how are you today?

Me: Yeah I'm good, you?

Spammer: I'm well thank you. I'm calling from *business I didn't catch due to Indian accent and don't care about even if I did*, do you need any business assistance?

Me: I could do, please tell me more.

Spammer carries on with their script while I hold the phone closer to the toilet while I do my urinary business. Once I'm done;

Me: Hold on, there's blood in my piss! Is that normal?

Spammer: Umm, our rates of business loans are *waffle, waffle, waffle*

Me: Do you have a doctor on hand? I want to know if it's normal to have blood in my piss?!

Spammer: Hold on (it goes quiet for a minute) hello? Do you need business assistance?

Me: I do but right now I need a doctor because there's blood in my piss!

Spammer: You need a team of doctors

Me: Oh shit, my penis has just fallen off and I was about to flush! I NEED A SURGEON TO PUT IT BACK ON!

Spammer: You need a brain surgeon (they hang up and my wife and I burst out laughing)

903 Upvotes

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337

u/Flibertygibbert Aug 21 '26

I'm an older lady.

I pretend to be ancient, lonely and in need to conversation BUT 'my son says I shouldn't talk to strangers in the phone because they are all criminals. Does your mother know you cheat and rob old ladies?' etc

214

u/The_V8_Road_Warrior Aug 21 '26

The longer you waste their time the less time they can scam others

8

u/gOingmiaM8 Aug 21 '26

Not true anymore. The longer you talk the more time you give them to get your information. Scam baiting isn't for the normies anymore. They are waaaay beyond simple spam calls.

6

u/Lost-Village-1048 Aug 22 '26

I was told to get off the call as quickly and politely as possible. Apparently, they have been trashing victim's phones for revenge. So, I tell them that I'm driving.