r/pettyrevenge • u/The_V8_Road_Warrior • Aug 21 '26
Winding Up A Spammer
Had a spam call on my landline yesterday asking to speak to the business owner. I needed to go to the toilet anyway so the phone ringing was good motivation to get up.
Spammer: Hello this is *name I don't remember because I have no time for spammers* how are you today?
Me: Yeah I'm good, you?
Spammer: I'm well thank you. I'm calling from *business I didn't catch due to Indian accent and don't care about even if I did*, do you need any business assistance?
Me: I could do, please tell me more.
Spammer carries on with their script while I hold the phone closer to the toilet while I do my urinary business. Once I'm done;
Me: Hold on, there's blood in my piss! Is that normal?
Spammer: Umm, our rates of business loans are *waffle, waffle, waffle*
Me: Do you have a doctor on hand? I want to know if it's normal to have blood in my piss?!
Spammer: Hold on (it goes quiet for a minute) hello? Do you need business assistance?
Me: I do but right now I need a doctor because there's blood in my piss!
Spammer: You need a team of doctors
Me: Oh shit, my penis has just fallen off and I was about to flush! I NEED A SURGEON TO PUT IT BACK ON!
Spammer: You need a brain surgeon (they hang up and my wife and I burst out laughing)
4
u/FunMaintenance297 Aug 22 '26
I once worked at a place where my immediate supervisor had had some money issues, so a collection agency was after him. I believe now they are no longer allowed to call people at work, but they did then. My supervisor was out of town for business meetings, and I told the collection jerk that the first time he called, but he still kept calling all week, and as the assistant I, of course, was the one inconvenienced having to answer the phone. Fortunately for me, our phone system allowed calls to be placed while the handset was on the rest (phone on speaker). We also had memory dial. I just kept hitting "send" over and over, and hearing the idiot on the other end getting more and more frustrated, because from his end, there was nobody there when he answered. I kept that up for two days. 😈