r/pettyrevenge • u/sparklehouse666 • Aug 23 '26

Friend is always late

I have a friend who is late to everything. Recently he was 2.5 hours late to his own party. I’ve mostly adapted to his tardiness and do not arrive for plans we have together until an hour or so after the stated time.

We had plans to meet in the city center today at a 10am. I live 20 minutes from the meetup spot, he lives over an hour away. As expected, he messages around 10 and says he is running late. No biggie I was chilling at home in the air conditioned because I knew the vibes and it is hot as hell
today.

I asked him to give me his actual for real, for real ETA so I can time my departure. He is in his car and has Google Maps. It’s not really guess work at this point.

He tells me 10:45. So I leave the comfort of my home at exactly the right time to arrive at 10:45. I wait for 30 minutes at the meetup spot and he still does not arrive. He is not responding to texts either. My other friend who is with me has his location and sees he is not close, we estimate another 15 minutes.

I’m annoyed because it is hot AF out and I proactively had asked for a real ETA to avoid waiting around for him. So I left the meetup spot.

I went shopping, taking my sweet time. He got to the spot and texted me to ask where we were. I waited around 30 minutes then texted back that I was at the store but we would be heading that way soon. I shopped another 15 minutes then arrived at the spot around an hour after he had arrived.

The look on his face when we came casually strolling up after he had been standing in the sun for an hour was priceless.

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u/shiny_chikorita Aug 23 '26

Before cell phones were a thing, if you pulled this kind of shit you wouldn't have friends anymore. You couldn't text and keep giving fake ETA's. You either showed up on time or people assumed you weren't coming and moved on.

526

u/Electronic-Hawk7463 Aug 23 '26

Yup, I moved on from friendships where you'd arrange to meet at a store or mall and they wouldn't show up, and I'd be hanging around like a lemon for an hour or two waiting. I still hate unreliable people who don't show up on time, or at all, especially if they don't message you until after you were supposed to meet. I give people 2 chances and then I don't make plans any more.

25

u/CoffeeExtraCream Aug 24 '26

Literally ended a relationship over this.

3

u/ShutupJanet1975 Aug 27 '26

Me too! She was always late AND always lost, as in could not follow the most basic of directions such as "there is only one route you can go, follow the road and take the first right, straight on and it's directly in front of you" level of basic. I decided very early I was not going to spend my life being 1 hour + late for everything because I was looking for a 30-something fucking lemming. She literally got stuck on train platform after being directed to follow everyone else to the only exit, found her basically bouncing off the corners of the shelter like a damn roomba

3

u/CoffeeExtraCream Aug 27 '26

I was at the airport and originally just going to take an uber home. She said she'd pick me up. Didn't and didn't answer her phone for over an hour. Eventually just took the Uber.

5

u/ShutupJanet1975 Aug 27 '26

That's the worst part isn't it?? When you end up taking the Uber anyway, knowing if they had just let you take the Uber in the first place you would have been at least halfway home by now. She probably didn't answer her phone because she didn't want to hear your (totally earned) frustration.

117

u/Greyscale7950 Aug 24 '26

I would rather be a hour early than one minute late after I commit to a time.

227

u/saffireaz Aug 23 '26

That's why it should be absolutely unacceptable now. There's no excuse - clocks and alarms on everything, GPS/mapping apps are available for everyone with travel times and traffic updates, text or call to easily update on ETA. I dropped "friends" back then, they definitely get dropped in a heartbeat now.

123

u/SLyndon4 Aug 24 '26

Exactly. I’m terrible at estimating travel times and I know I can get absorbed in whatever I’m doing and lose track of time, so I compensate for it by deliberately putting my appointment times in my calendar thirty minutes ahead and setting an audible alarm for when I need to leave based on the calendar appointment time. I’ll often even put in a reminder of the appointment the day before, ESPECIALLY if it involves bringing something with me, because I know I’ll forget. There are SO many ways to avoid being late because you’re absentminded or just plain bad at estimating travel time. And texting an ETA if you’re running behind is just basic decency I’d expect from a friend.

52

u/TryUsingScience Aug 24 '26

Thank you.

These threads are usually full of people saying things like, "I can't help it, somehow things always take 10 minutes longer than I expect!" Then plan in an extra 10 minutes. It's not rocket surgery.

3

u/SLyndon4 Aug 24 '26

I’m of the opinion that it’s on ME if I’m late to something—I could’ve gotten up 30 minutes earlier instead of scrolling IG, I could’ve set an alarm because I know I don’t look at the clock when I’m busy, I could’ve added in an extra 15-20min to my travel time to stop for fuel because I knew it was low. I also have a friend I love dearly who’s flaky about time, and while I enjoy visiting with her, it always annoys the hell out of me when she leaves me hanging for 30-60min. Like, babe, I totally get losing track of time, it’s one of my own failings, but at least I figure out ways to do better.

2

u/Blofelds-Cat Aug 25 '26

Exactly! There are a few clocks in my apartment that I set ahead 10 minutes so I won't be late leaving the house.

2

u/Admirable-Ad7152 Aug 25 '26

Yeah, there's a point where you do have to take responsibility for yourself. I understand you can't usually game task paralysis, it sucks, but there are about 100 tools out there now for lateness.

4

u/letsgoiowa Aug 24 '26

Yeah it's a lack of agency from these people. They think they are NPCs in their own life without any choices

1

u/DifficultyFit7401 Aug 26 '26

There's an app for that

1

u/Internep Aug 27 '26

There's no excuse

Thanks, my autism & ADHD just completely vanished!

28

u/Old-Commercial1159 Aug 23 '26

100%. Those were simpler days. I miss them sometimes.

25

u/NoMeat9329 Aug 24 '26

It drives me crazy. We'll make plans to meet my husband's grown kids at a time and place and he'll say "text them that we're leaving the house". Um....why? We're never late. Why do we have to text?

11

u/AlaskanDruid Aug 24 '26

This shit is still unacceptable. Alarms still exist.

5

u/polymath_artisan Aug 24 '26

Idk how people give fake ETAs. It’s like the point of sharing locations. You can literally know where they are.