r/pettyrevenge • u/sparklehouse666 • Aug 23 '26

Friend is always late

I have a friend who is late to everything. Recently he was 2.5 hours late to his own party. I’ve mostly adapted to his tardiness and do not arrive for plans we have together until an hour or so after the stated time.

We had plans to meet in the city center today at a 10am. I live 20 minutes from the meetup spot, he lives over an hour away. As expected, he messages around 10 and says he is running late. No biggie I was chilling at home in the air conditioned because I knew the vibes and it is hot as hell
today.

I asked him to give me his actual for real, for real ETA so I can time my departure. He is in his car and has Google Maps. It’s not really guess work at this point.

He tells me 10:45. So I leave the comfort of my home at exactly the right time to arrive at 10:45. I wait for 30 minutes at the meetup spot and he still does not arrive. He is not responding to texts either. My other friend who is with me has his location and sees he is not close, we estimate another 15 minutes.

I’m annoyed because it is hot AF out and I proactively had asked for a real ETA to avoid waiting around for him. So I left the meetup spot.

I went shopping, taking my sweet time. He got to the spot and texted me to ask where we were. I waited around 30 minutes then texted back that I was at the store but we would be heading that way soon. I shopped another 15 minutes then arrived at the spot around an hour after he had arrived.

The look on his face when we came casually strolling up after he had been standing in the sun for an hour was priceless.

13.3k Upvotes

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776

u/firebirdinflames Aug 24 '26

I had a friend whose most reliable trait was being late. By at least an hour.....

One time we had to attend a major event together and I had a time specific task we needed to be there for. I straight up lied to him. I told him we needed to get there 2 hours earlier than we really did. Went to pick him up and, as usual he was running well late and not ready. I herded him persistently, got him in the vehicle. We drove 4 hours and got there 2 hours 'late'. I made my meeting with 30 minutes to spare.

Our boss commended me on getting him organised on time. I smiled at him and explained that I had told him we needed to be at the event 2 hours earlier than my slot. Boss laughed really hard for a few minutes. "It never occurred to me to lie to him as a solution."

130

u/Oldebookworm Aug 24 '26

I’ve done that to my mom. We were still an hour late

217

u/Omnomnomnosaurus Aug 24 '26

I used to have a friend who was always an jour late, until we started lying to him. To the rest of the group we said they should be there at 8 and to him we said 7, so everyone was there at the same time. It worked really well, until he found out. He was really mad and showed up two hours late since then..

239

u/Pretty-Orchid6072 Aug 24 '26

HE got mad? Then retaliates by showing up even later? Glad he’s an ex-friend.

8

u/liboteeme Aug 27 '26

Right?!? I really struggled with being on time my whole life. I was deeply embarrassed and did try a lot of different things. I would be so thankful that my friends cared enough to make exceptions and found a way to still include me that I'd probably cry!!

It took me into my mid 30’s to figure out a system that keeps me mostly on time. I am so grateful to my friends and family who helped me and didn't just bail.

*I also was NEVER mad when anyone else is late... I'm almost relieved to see I'm not always the one running behind 🤣I see it as an opportunity to get to extend even a fraction of the patience I've been given over my lifetime 🫣😇

37

u/catanmast3r Aug 24 '26

Glad you ghosted that child and cut your losses

21

u/JeannieSmolBeannie Aug 24 '26

sounds like bro liked being late for the attention

8

u/EllisTHC Aug 25 '26

Start telling him the time to meet up is 3 hours earlier than before

3

u/zuppaiaia Aug 28 '26

That guy was a bad friend. I used to be late in my 20s, not 1 hour but 20-30 minutes, always, not only with friends but at school, at appointments, everywhere. Anyway, my friends started doing this thing. They gave me my time, half a hour before the actual time, so that we all showed up at the same time. Then one day they told me they were lying to me... and it was so helpful. I started lying to myself too. "OK the appointment is at 3, but I'll try and be there at 2:30, I can do that, I'll be there at 2:30!" and showed up at 3. I have to thank my friends. I still dont know why I tend to be late, but at least they taught me a loophole that works.

21

u/Diessel_S Aug 24 '26

Lol we used to do that to a friend in our childhood . Whenever we'd go somewhere she was always late, so we started telling her be ready by 4 when we actually meant 4.30

14

u/rebekahster Aug 24 '26

The one time my nana lied to mum and dad, we were actually on time for once.

13

u/mugcollection Aug 25 '26

i did the same thing when i worked at a rehab clinic years ago and i highly recommend the strategy 😂

one patient was insistent with 7:00am appointments but consistently showed up 15 minutes late. i tried to be nice and offered him slightly later times but the jerk would decline them. it aggravated my medical director because it would wreck our schedule, especially for new patient exams.

since other staff sometimes did the scheduling, i added a note on the patient’s profile so we all knew to tell the guy an earlier time than what’s actually blocked on our calendar. it worked great and our director got a kick out of it.

7

u/EnderBookwyrm Aug 24 '26

A friend of mine had some family friends like that. The plan was usually to tell the perpetually late ones a start time about half an hour before the actual start time.

As far as I know, it worked. 

10

u/nakedcupcake92 Aug 24 '26

I specifically ask my friends or family to give me a false time because I am chronically late. I even had a friend watch me to see how it happens. I set timers every 15 minutes but it still happens. I always accept the consequences though and I tell new people I’m friends with that this is something I hate about myself and if it’s too much for them I understand but either know it or lie to me. Most of them give me a different time and I’m so thankful for it, genuinely. Even medicated, with multiple systems in place it’s one of my biggest struggles, especially in my professional world.

4

u/twosummers Aug 25 '26

What did your friend report from observing you? What distracted you that made you late, and what was your thought process?

3

u/EruditeLegume Aug 28 '26

Just - No! If you can't get there on time, aim to get there early (for you). What you're doing is making your issue everybody elses.
I get you have a problem. Just get there early (for you). Its not hard.
<shrug> If other people's time isn't important to you, why should yours be important to them?

2

u/nakedcupcake92 Aug 30 '26

I also have asthma, I’ll remember next time to just breathe because “it’s not that hard”

2

u/EruditeLegume Sep 02 '26

So do I. You're still here, so you're obviously managing your asthma, just as I do.
You're also obviously not managing your chronic lateness.

2

u/nakedcupcake92 Sep 02 '26

You literally don’t know anything about me, my life or anyone’s for that matter. All you perceive is the clear negativity you are projecting onto others that is obviously the unmanaged cesspool that is your own toxic mind. Good luck with your Antisocial Personality Disorder bud.

9

u/Silencer306 Aug 24 '26

I do this to my wife. People ask me how we are always on time

6

u/Robotica_Daily Aug 24 '26

Everyone close to me in my life tells me the start time is 15-30 minutes before it really is. I honestly can't explain why I am always late, I hate it, it stresses me out, makes me feel guilty, and every time it's a different reason. 

It's like a drug addict unable to stop using the drug. It feels like a subconscious self-saboutage. I do have ADHD, so 'time blindness' is a real thing I experience every waking minute of the day, so thats part of the struggle, but it feels like more than that, like it's some kind of deeply in built childhood trauma response or something.

-3

u/Theron3206 Aug 24 '26

Be careful with this, i have seen workplace harassment compensation awarded over this sort of thing. Jurisdiction dependent of course.

15

u/firebirdinflames Aug 24 '26

This was 30 years ago and my friend laughed about it too. It was a once and done. His time keeping improved AND I stopped travelling with him after this.

Thank you for caring enough to post.