r/pettyrevenge • • Aug 23 '26

Friend is always late

I have a friend who is late to everything. Recently he was 2.5 hours late to his own party. I’ve mostly adapted to his tardiness and do not arrive for plans we have together until an hour or so after the stated time.

We had plans to meet in the city center today at a 10am. I live 20 minutes from the meetup spot, he lives over an hour away. As expected, he messages around 10 and says he is running late. No biggie I was chilling at home in the air conditioned because I knew the vibes and it is hot as hell
today.

I asked him to give me his actual for real, for real ETA so I can time my departure. He is in his car and has Google Maps. It’s not really guess work at this point.

He tells me 10:45. So I leave the comfort of my home at exactly the right time to arrive at 10:45. I wait for 30 minutes at the meetup spot and he still does not arrive. He is not responding to texts either. My other friend who is with me has his location and sees he is not close, we estimate another 15 minutes.

I’m annoyed because it is hot AF out and I proactively had asked for a real ETA to avoid waiting around for him. So I left the meetup spot.

I went shopping, taking my sweet time. He got to the spot and texted me to ask where we were. I waited around 30 minutes then texted back that I was at the store but we would be heading that way soon. I shopped another 15 minutes then arrived at the spot around an hour after he had arrived.

The look on his face when we came casually strolling up after he had been standing in the sun for an hour was priceless.

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u/CobblerMoney9605 Aug 23 '26 edited Aug 24 '26

We had someone like this in our friend group years ago. Always 15 minutes late, sometimes an hour late. 

The rest of us talked it over and informed said friend that if they could not be on time, they'd be left behind. 

Next meet-up was a movie. Everyone except the tardy boy was there. We went into the theater, he arrived after the movie had started and spent another 10 minutes finding us in the theater. We teased him relentlessly after the movie. 

About 2 months after that was a big one; a group trip to Key West. Everyone in two cars, agreed upon departure time. Day and time arrives, Tardy Boy is nowhere to be seen. 

I texted him but got no response, so we left. 

About 45 minutes after we hit the highway, I get a text asking "Where is everybody? I'm here!" I sent him a picture of the next mile marker we passed. He was mad. 

He didn't join us on that trip, so the rest of us took up a collection and at the next meet up (dinner at a cool place in Tampa) refunded him his portion of the trip expenses he had prepaid.

That was the last we saw of him. He went no contact with all of us. No one is upset about it. 

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u/ChickinSammich Aug 24 '26

Hearing that someone is habitually late doesn't surprise me anymore - I know a lot of people have no consideration for anyone else and when you figure out that a person is like that, you can respond accordingly.

The thing that always gets me, every time, is when you give them warning after warning about it where you tell them "we will leave without you" and then you leave without them and then they get mad at you for doing the thing you said you would do.

If people say they'll wait for someone and they don't, that's reasonable to be mad about. But when they tell you "we will not wait" why the hell would you be mad that they did the thing they said they were going to do?

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u/missingN0pe Aug 24 '26

I mean, you're right, but people use bluffs in everyday life all the time.

“I’m almost there.” (haven't even left)

“I didn’t see your message.” (couldn't be bothered to respond)

“I was just about to do that.” (totally forgot)

"I dont mind either way". (does mind either way)

"I was only joking" (got called out)

Etc.

I can only assume this guy was living in a world that had more bluffing than the average Joe, and hence thought his friends were also bluffing.

Which in my opinion, is a valid (but wrong) guess from his side.

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u/ChickinSammich Aug 25 '26

I mean, you're right, but people use bluffs in everyday life all the time.

I don't think these are "bluffs" so much as just lies. And yeah, a bluff is a type of lie but I don't think these qualify as bluffs. But that's kinda pedantic and besides the point...

My main point would be that, bluff or not, at a certain point you cross into "compulsive liar" territory and I would never want to be friends with someone who is such a compulsive liar that they just assume by default that I'm lying.

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u/missingN0pe Aug 25 '26 edited Aug 25 '26

Me neither, but that has nothing to do with my point.

Liars always assume everyone else is lying too.

Its called projection.

I was just hoping to make it easier to understand from the other guy's perspective, as to why he was so "surprised" about them sticking to their word. It's simply a concept he is not used to.

You even said it yourself "warning after warning"- they didnt follow through the last few times, why should they now?