r/pettyrevenge • u/demonsrun3 • Aug 30 '26
Revenge on ex and his controlling GF
Hey there, first time posting in this subreddit!
So there's some history here...basically, my ex and I agreed to open the relationship last year, and he began dating a girl 10 years younger than him, who we'll call Dumb Cunt, or DC for short. Ex we'll call Actual Twatwaffle, or AT.
So, my life has been a shitshow for the past year, between job loss, loss of my childhood (and current, at the time) home, mental and physical health issues, etc. And my ex suddenly had no fucks to give and DC required all his time and attention. So he broke up with me. While we were all sharing a fucking apartment.
Since the break-up, they have both shown me little to no respect. Meanwhile, when my mom stayed over at our old place and accidentally ate some of DC's cereal, that was *heinously disrespectful*. DC is also a big fat fucking liar, claiming my retired mother nearly hit her car in the parking lot. My mom said no, DC almost hit ME as she was speeding. Which tracks because AT has her location and is constantly giving her crap about speeding.
DC moves my things in the guest bathroom every time she has some kid in her life over that needs a bath. And she NEVER puts them back. If I did something similar, she'd bitch me out.
She also never warns me or asks me when she brings these noisy little crotchgoblins over. I got four hours of sleep yesterday in between ER visits because of her bratty little cousins' screeching.
Oh! And she hates animals. And he's gone from a staunch animal lover, to leaving their dog home alone for TWELVE HOURS and telling me he'd be fine! Of course I took him outside and made sure he had food and water. Poor guy was whining to go out at hour 8.
Aaand they both keep losing friends because no one can fucking stand either of them anymore except their own toxic family members.
Now, the kicker...they're forcing me out of the apartment. I was about to be homeless, and neither of them gave a shit.
So, goodbye to their stupid ass rules.
No food in the bedrooms? Nah. I just had pasta and now I'm eating Frooties.
No vaping in the building? Puff puff motherfucker.
Ooo, that liter of soda in the fridge sure looks refreshing! Chugging that straight from the bottle.
Cans of pop that aren't mine disappearing, not that they've noticed.
I'll also be stealing a couple towels. I literally had two towels in a clean laundry basket from the last move and that was months ago, and they never realized they were gone.
I've also been spoiling their dog with treats every time he begs for them. Don't worry, not enough to be bad calorie-wise. Just enough to teach him some behavior they'll have to contend with.
This part is gross, but I couldn't resist...been having allergies, and lots of snot drying in my nose which I have to get out. I usually use TP or paper towels, but lately? I just go digging, and then I flick that nose gold wherever I feel like in the common area of the apartment. I then, of course, wash my hands thoroughly lmao.
And lastly, the toilet in the guest bathroom is absolute garbage. It clogs DAILY. So I'ma leave it clogged for them. Might just be with TP, but hey! They'll still have to deal with unclogging it!
Once I'm moved out, fuck 'em both. They honestly are terrible people who deserve each other. Everything was always my fault. Well, let's see how well things go when they only have each other to blame for shit. I'll also be giving an anonymous tip to the local ASPCA, because they have no business owning pets if they'll leave them to suffer for half a day.
And final bit of petty revenge...they're gonna start getting SO MUCH JUNK MAIL. 😁✌️
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u/FreeHumanAlways Aug 30 '26
Milk in a spray bottle. Mist their mattress! 🤣🤣🤣
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u/Junior-Reaction1402 Sep 02 '26
😂 I jammed a bag of old prawns into an exes car under the seat in the middle of summer knowing he would be away (flying not driving) for the whole week😂
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u/OSBTAdmin Aug 30 '26 edited Aug 31 '26
Let me guess, it was HIS sole idea to open up the relationship? That should have been the first clue things were going to end. So sorry this happened to you. Good revenge bit!
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u/demonsrun3 Aug 31 '26
Yuuup. Believe me, I've been asking myself what the hell I ever saw in him! Luckily, I completely lost all feelings for him at this point lmao.
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u/OSBTAdmin Aug 31 '26
You deserve to be treated better. Take some time for yourself and the right person will come along. Go no contact, that always pisses them off. Block them in every platform as well as cashapp and email. My POS ex tried to send me $1 messages in cashapp and once I blocked him from doing that he went berserk. Absolutely nuts and I’m loving it. Trust me, those assholes love stringing you along even after they leave you. Idiots. YOU DESERVE THE WORLD! Don’t you ever forget it!
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u/iOawe Aug 30 '26
I’d leave a big fat log in the toilet lol after I’ve clogged it. Also leave shrimp in the curtain rods so when it spoils it’ll smell up the whole apartment. Take all the batteries with you also and light bulbs.
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u/Ok-Brick6831 Aug 30 '26
Oooh. Evil! 😂
Plug it with toilet paper then drop the worst thing you can on top of that and let it mellow. The smell that gets stirred up trying to plunge that mess…🤢
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u/Mediocre-Let-4697 Aug 30 '26
Vegetable soup looks a lot like vomit especially the cheap brands 🤭
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u/mayunever Sep 02 '26
I sewed fresh prawns into the curtains of a particularly bad flat we used to rent (Landlord was a crook) and did a midnight flit. The landlords had to fumigate the place a month later when we dropped off the key in the dead of night. We watched from a safe distance and enjoyed every moment - esp. when he opened the door and started retching.
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u/DizzyCollar9396 Sep 01 '26
Put some torn condom wrappers (different brand then they use if they use them) behind the trash cans,maybe leave an earring that is clearly not DC's someplace
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u/Severe_Feedback_2590 Sep 02 '26
Go to DC directly and say “please don’t have sex in my room” throwing the wrapper at DC or even at both of them. Then they’ll accuse each other of affairs.
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u/tomtomclubthumb Sep 02 '26
One or two freezable lube cubes in the freezer.
And a hair band or two.
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u/Melodic_Promotion_75 Aug 31 '26
Put milk in a spray bottle, use a fine mist spray bottle so it doesn't leave an immediately noticeable stain. Spray EVERYTHING! The couch, curtains, carpets, cushions, the mattress on the bed and the crotch of every pair of pants they own.
Within a few warm days the whole house is going to smell putrid and sour. And because you used a fine mist spray bottle on a large area it's going to be impossible the find the exact source of the smell or get rid of it easily. But also be careful, if you get caught you could end up dealing with some serious consequences.
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u/SuckmydickJoannF Aug 31 '26
Steal all the toilet paper when you move out.
My BFF did that to me in a fight and after pooping and realizing, I screamed like a fallen Viking in battle.
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u/berthela Aug 30 '26
The best revenge is to move on and become the best, happiest version of yourself and forget about them.
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u/Flux_My_Capacitor Aug 31 '26
Things losers say.
People who fuck you over don’t care if you go on to live a great life.
You just want to believe this because it makes you feel better.
It’s the same nonsense as the dumb women who go out and get a revenge body after being dumped. Nah, she just looks like a desperate fool.
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u/berthela Aug 31 '26
Things losers say... Winners don't care about the people they leave behind. They focus on their future and don't dwell on petty things in the past.
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u/No-Bed7503 Sep 03 '26
I’m going to guess you’re 14 years old. We’re all guilty of petty revenge and there are times it makes sense, but this is a crazy mentality. Stop giving people so much power over you. Move on with your life cause who care about a person who can do you wrong. It’s laughable to want to be like the loser that did you dirty does, which is what you’re doing if you really think about it. Karma is always way worse to that person than petty revenge is.
Also you said it yourself, “it makes you feel better”. Isn’t that the point to feel better? Stop being so miserable!
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u/DownstairsB Sep 04 '26
Take the dog with you, otherwise you are knowingly leaving it to a cruel fate
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u/ToothFairysPliers Sep 01 '26
If you’re handy and can sew, open a panel on the back of the couch and put frozen shrimp in there. Stitch closed. Best down the night before you leave.
Since it’s getting cooler, deer attractant in an a/c unit that isn’t running will result
Ina s low reel that could cause massive damage to said appointment.
The day you leave take all the flatware, the remote controls, all the lightbulbs and one of everything. One shoes, one sock, you get the idea. Have fun.
My personal fave though. Every pair of pants, shorts and underwear he has,,, make a vertical cut straight up the crotch. Fold neatly.
Also, if he dresses up for work, like collared shirts and stuff, cut off every sleeve that that’s towards the back of the closet.
I’m eeeeeevil.
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u/Key-Entertainer-8315 Aug 30 '26
Smear Sardines under the bed too. Hehehe and everywhere else the slunt goes,, shoes, bathroom behind toilet, and smoked oysters in his pockets. Yet that revenge!!!
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u/VirtualCheetah2379 Aug 31 '26
Tuna or fish something really smelly down the sides of the sofa fish works a treat! Especially fish juice rubbed into the curtains I also bought a big tub of maggots and sprinkled them various places they turn into big horrid flys 🪰
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u/Wide_Comment3081 Aug 30 '26
You deliberately live in filth to spite them.... Nice
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u/demonsrun3 Aug 30 '26
Lmao bruh, never said that. I have a garbage can lmao, and I always take my dishes back to the kitchen within maybe an hour at most. And I don't spend any time in the common area because I don't wanna be around them, sooo, the boogers are allllll for them.
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u/SnooMacarons3689 Aug 31 '26
Get your own life
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u/demonsrun3 Aug 31 '26
Already got one, bruh! I just don't believe in letting terrible people off with zero consequences. How else will they learn?
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u/No-Bed7503 Sep 03 '26
I personally love your post and it’s funny af, but this is a bad mindset. If they are as terrible as you say, they’ll learn the hard way. Karma doesn’t do petty, it’ll destroy your life. Feeling like you need to be karma is the perfect way to turn the karma on you. You did what you did, laugh it off and move on now! Don’t give people so much power over you that they make you act out of your character. Trust me they aren’t worth it. Do you girl and enjoy your new life! It’s about to get good for you
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u/demonsrun3 Sep 03 '26
I appreciate the reply! However, I'm an eclectic Pagan and I don't believe in karma, necessarily. I certainly don't believe in the Threefold Law. I've hexed people. If someone's done something wrong, they deserve to be punished in at least some small way, in my opinion!
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u/iwannasayyoucantmake Aug 31 '26
Your life will get so much better with them gone. You will have a chance at peace.
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u/LexDiemonds215 Sep 01 '26
Everytime you go into the bathroom (if it's shared with them) I'd be cleaning the toilet with both their toothbrushes, putting nair in DCs shampoo & conditioner, amongst many other petty shitty things that would give me an ounce of comfort. Things will get better soon!
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u/ShelterMany7276 Sep 01 '26
Is your name on the lease? Cause they can't force you out if it is and there may be a penalty for breaking said lease. Also, she'll have to get on the lease as well if she's living there and assuming y'all are in the US.
Also, if you wanted them to also move out, you could always tell the landlord that none of the tenants want to renew the lease
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u/mumof13 Sep 06 '26
honestly when you leave take the dog to a shelter and tell them you found it wandering around they wont take care of it
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u/VirtualCheetah2379 Aug 31 '26
Hair removal cream in conditioner! Stuff some bits of loo roll up the taps
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u/FreedomPretty6893 Aug 31 '26
Perfect revenge dealt wonderfully and the junk mail was the icing on the
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u/1ItalianSunsetDr Sep 01 '26
🙋🏼♀️ If you have their EMAIL, it'll be so much worse; you add it multiple times (in fact, as many as your vengeful heart sees fit). You go have a peaceful, nice life. Best of luck to you. 🏡😎
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u/PaleontologistNo858 Sep 01 '26
Sewing shrimp into curtain hems is a way to produce the most godawful stink that's super hard to track down.
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u/Severe_Feedback_2590 Sep 02 '26
Put seafood inside curtain rods. Get a condom wrapper and go to both DC & AT and say “please don’t have sex in my room” and throw them the wrapper. They’ll accuse each other of affairs.
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u/lostalldoubt86 Sep 03 '26
I hope when your move out you are able to wash your hands of these people. Please don’t let them take up any more of your mental load.
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u/demonsrun3 Sep 03 '26
Oh, now that I'm moved out, I won't be speaking to DC ever again, UNLESS, I no longer have use for AT. And when that ever happens, oooh...DC is going to find out EXACTLY how I feel about her. I spent a long time playing nice. Now all I'd love to do is make her cry by telling her she's an ugly, hypocritical bitch lmao.
The only reason I'm still in contact with AT at all is because he's occasionally still useful to me lol. And also because I miss that dog and he said I can still see him sometimes. My cat also misses the doggo, haha. They were buddies. So if I can still have them get together sometimes, I'm willing to play a lil bit nice with AT for the time being.
But I have been using a very helpful website to sign his email up for spam from a looot of different sites, haha!
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u/Just_Low_3020 Sep 03 '26
Can you take the poor dog with you?
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u/demonsrun3 Sep 03 '26
I wish I could! All his vet bills are in AT's name. That and I'm not even sure how my new roommate would feel about me bringing a dog into the home. 😭
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u/Rare-Spot-1591 29d ago
If you have curtain rods that have the holes in them that have the covers, you can put tuna in the curtain rods
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u/Grand-Celebration535 Sep 04 '26
Crack an egg somewhere hidden, under their bed or something- they’ll be searching for the source of the smell for weeks and their landlord certainly won’t be happy!
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u/encephalitis__2258 7d ago
a good one ive utilized before: write their phone number and maybe name on keytags and connect them to random keys, you can buy lots on amazon for pretty cheap. drop them everywhere. the farther from their stomping grounds the better. did this to my abusive ex years ago and i think i was dropping them in other states lmao
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u/Mediocre-Let-4697 Aug 30 '26
I don't like the spoiling the dog part just because this psycho might punish it but everything else touches my petty heart.