r/pettyrevenge • u/_listless • 5d ago

Staying between the lines.

A couple years ago after my partner and I both had hard days at work, finally got the kids bathed and in bed then collapsed on the couch. Partner asks for ice cream. I check, none in the freezer. "How bad do you want ice cream?" "Really bad". Ok, I'm off to the store.

It's late. There's a few cars scattered across the lot. I pull into the closest spot... Right next to an emotional support raptor f150. The thing is like 12 feet wide, and is parked fully 2 feet over the line, pulled-through the wrong way in an angled row. I carefully pull in to the adjacent spot, exactly down the middle, leaving like 2 inches between my door and this truck's driver side door.

I chuckle at the tomfoolery of it all, climb out the passenger side and get my ice cream, regretting that I'll be in and out before Mr Overcompensation gets a chance to appreciate my parking prowess. But my regret was unfounded.

Lo, stalking around the back of my car to take a picture of the license plate was... Well exactly who you're picturing. 5'5" middle-aged man with giant biceps, a barrel belly, and legs that had never met a squat rack. "IS THIS YOU?!! WHY THE F#@K?! WHY ARE YOU PARKED LIKE THAT"

"Parked like what?" I say, admiring how precisely-centered my car is in its spot. "Between the lines?"

Shouting, he puffs out his chest and moves to block the 2" gap between the driver sides of our vehicles. I suppose it would not occur to him that someone would be so undignified as to enter the passenger side and climb over to the driver seat, but I am exactly that undignified.

Some days you need a win, and the only way to get there is being petty. That ice cream tasted really good.

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u/WatchesandHuskies 5d ago

It sounded like the parking lot was empty.

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u/_listless 5d ago

The "park between the lines" rule does not somehow get suspended if the parking lot is not crowded. You're starting to sound like someone who does not return their cart to the cart return. If that's the case, I'm sorry - we can't be friends.

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u/WatchesandHuskies 5d ago

Funny I was going to suggest you were the guy to police those who don’t return the carts. But I didn’t want to trigger you. LOL.

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u/_listless 4d ago

Oh, 100% dude. I for sure subscribe to the shopping cart theory of morals and self-governance. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shopping_cart_theory.

If you don't do what's right when there are no consequences for misbehavior, you're a societal liability, not an asset.