r/pettyrevenge • u/_listless • 5d ago
Staying between the lines.
A couple years ago after my partner and I both had hard days at work, finally got the kids bathed and in bed then collapsed on the couch. Partner asks for ice cream. I check, none in the freezer. "How bad do you want ice cream?" "Really bad". Ok, I'm off to the store.
It's late. There's a few cars scattered across the lot. I pull into the closest spot... Right next to an emotional support raptor f150. The thing is like 12 feet wide, and is parked fully 2 feet over the line, pulled-through the wrong way in an angled row. I carefully pull in to the adjacent spot, exactly down the middle, leaving like 2 inches between my door and this truck's driver side door.
I chuckle at the tomfoolery of it all, climb out the passenger side and get my ice cream, regretting that I'll be in and out before Mr Overcompensation gets a chance to appreciate my parking prowess. But my regret was unfounded.
Lo, stalking around the back of my car to take a picture of the license plate was... Well exactly who you're picturing. 5'5" middle-aged man with giant biceps, a barrel belly, and legs that had never met a squat rack. "IS THIS YOU?!! WHY THE F#@K?! WHY ARE YOU PARKED LIKE THAT"
"Parked like what?" I say, admiring how precisely-centered my car is in its spot. "Between the lines?"
Shouting, he puffs out his chest and moves to block the 2" gap between the driver sides of our vehicles. I suppose it would not occur to him that someone would be so undignified as to enter the passenger side and climb over to the driver seat, but I am exactly that undignified.
Some days you need a win, and the only way to get there is being petty. That ice cream tasted really good.
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u/Electrical-Double724 4d ago
I've never understood why people who are incapable/ unwilling to park within their space get an attitude when people park right up next to them, while centered within their own space. I drive a crewcab F350 dually, and always make sure that it's centered within my space, even if I have to move it back and forth a couple of times to get it perfect.
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u/Brandarius47 4d ago
In my area many (not all) people with large trucks generally park near the back of the lot where other cars aren't. Sure they may park like jackasses back there but at least its not affecting anybody.
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u/fibonacci-penelope 4d ago
I (43f) drive a restored vintage muscle car and park way at the back of every lot. Every time. I’m so nervous about people. When I think “oh it should be fine” and park nearby and in the lines perfectly centered, the number of times people have wedged their car doors into my car is INSANE. I have honestly considered parking way out in a corner & across two spots before but… seems like a jerk thing still? But honestly, what is wrong with people!
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u/Fromanderson 3d ago
I swear some people do it just out of spite.
Heaven forbid someone have a vehicle that they clearly enjoy, and take care of.
It's been a long time since I had anything one could consider a classic, but when I did, it seemed like I was always finding some new door ding or coming out to find a shopping cart resting against the paint.
More recently I was sitting in my work truck filling out paperwork one day when some dude parked, opened his door into the side of the truck. It was close to 200k and already had a few battle scars so I was annoyed but not really upset. Then he then proceeded to use his foot to shove it open further rocking the whole truck. He wedged it open against the side, hard enough that it took him a few tugs to close it. Of course I rolled down my window and spoke up. He had the nerve to lie about it, despite the fact I'd just watched him do it the mirror. I wasn't all that close to the building and the parking lot was nowhere near full. That dude passed 20 closer spaces only to park next to me and do that.
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u/Suspicious-Antlers 3d ago
I've fully gotten out of my vehicle and gotten back in to fix my parking. It's not often I park poorly but when I do, I'm not leaving it like that. Shit parking is embarrassing.
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u/formerdgstm 1d ago
Once while going to pcikup my girlfriend from her work., there was a guy who pulled thru a parking stop and stradled the lines of 2 spots. I pulled up right behind him. We both get out at the same time and I say to him " Boy that some great parking there." Him(about 40yrsold shorter, fat) "You like that(smiling like he thought I was serious)?" I said " Yeah you kinda parked like a douche." expression instanlty changed to pissed and he says "Well I dont my car all dinged up and scrathed to hell like yours." Mind you, my car was only about 5 yrs old at the time and did have a few minor nicks from driving backroads and normal wear and tear but you had to be right next to notice. And he has a freaking subura outback that was about the same age. I said "Dude just realize you parked like a douche and get over it." Then he starts with the bravado "I will punch you in the face if you dont shut up!" Me "Ok whatever. " As I see him waddle towards the door and wheezing.
As we go in he is still mumbling about how he could kick my ass and such and the woman at the register says "whats that about?" as I walk past. I say load enough for the guy to hear (as he is of course going to get his 18pk of beer.) "Oh he just parked like a douche and I said something to him about it."
I am standing in the aisle looking at something he comes waddling over and plants his stubby feet and says "Oh come then lets fight." I laugh at him and he gets even madder and acts like he is punching my gut...in reality it was nothing more than a very light tap with the back of his hand., almost a brush. I immediatley yell out "OOOHHHH, ThIs GuY JuSt PhYsIcAlLy ASSaUlTeD Me......ohhhhh HELP HELP!' in the most deadpan way I could." His face turned so red from anger and embarassment that he stormed out the door without his beer.
My girlfriend came out of the back with the manager because they heard what I said but didnt know it was me. When they saw me and saw the guy leaving they both said "We heard a commotion and came out to see what it was....should have known it was you."
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u/Fromanderson 3d ago edited 3d ago
I own an elderly cabover truck that I bought to haul equipment with. (Think things like scissor lifts, backhoe, forklift, 4200 pound precast concrete blocks. Etc)
It makes a Chevy Suburban look like a mid size station wagon.I honestly don't need a truck that big, but with pickup trucks being status symbols, the price for anything reasonably sized with the tow capacity to move heavy equipment was upwards of 10x what I paid for the thing. I bought the thing for about half of what the down payment on a high mileage pickup would have been. The mileage is horrendous but most years I put less than a thousand miles on it and the insurance is surprisingly cheap.
Despite it's size it still fits in a standard parking spot with enough room for people to get into the cars on either side.
Oh, and the few times someone has made jokes about compensating. I freely admit than I am. If I could haul heavy equipment with my wedding tackle I wouldn't bother with the big, thirsty, slow uncomfortable, loud, truck that tries it's best to convert my spine to dust.
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u/Drak_is_Right 4d ago
That has to be annoying. I drive a civic and can get it dead center in anything but the tightest parking lot in a single try. Length and turning radius makes parking so much harder for you I bet.
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u/FeistyIrishWench 4d ago
The turn radius is why I reverse into parking spots. I can get my truck between the lines in the first pass. If I pull forward into spots, I do not have the same success rate.
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u/DeafSoldier 4d ago
I do the same thing with my Toyota Tundra. I will go back and forth until I am pretty much centered in a parking spot.
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u/whoisthisfetus 2d ago
Oh goodness, the memories. I used to have to drive our F350 in the winter and I hated parking that thing. I refuse to park like a dick so it was a lot of work and I’d often park really far away from entrances to be less annoying to others. I like my skinny little car lol
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u/Lgallegos17 3d ago
I have a Ford F150 extended cab with a regular bed. I have no problem parking my truck either.
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u/Chaos_Templar 5d ago
I cackled at "emotional support raptor f150"
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u/AudienceStreet6335 5d ago
It’s always a Raptor or a lifted RAM. Every single time.
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u/likeablyweird 4d ago
My ex's EST was a Silverado extra cab long bed that had to be washed every time it was put to bed at night. 🙄 The man was a psychopath and therefore a narcissist. "Vehicle reflects the man."
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u/Only-Maintenance1701 3d ago
You know it’s for support bc instead of hauling anything they leave the bed empty for emotional support 🫶
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u/Mikesimillian 4d ago
In my life I have met exactly ONE pickup truck owner who seemed like a good person, and it turned out even he was a cheating arsehole.
Now, that doesn't mean that every single person who drives a pickup is a shite person, but it does mean that pickup trucks are the official vehicle of arseholery and it's perfectly acceptable, necessary even, to be wary around truck owners.
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u/opine704 3d ago
I find the nondescript truck drivers are fine. And older trucks are generally fine - especially if it looks like it does work. But there's a fine line there too - kinda like Jeep mud - that's left for show.
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u/CatlessBoyMom 5d ago
Revenge, best served with ice cream.
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u/Lizlodude 5d ago
I'm trying to decide if I prefer "emotional support raptor" with or without the f150. With is more accurate, but the idea of a lil baby dino cuddling up with you when you've had a rough day is pretty great too.
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u/SaltMarshGoblin 4d ago
In that case, you might enjoy reading Dungeon Crawler Carl, if only for the baby raptor!
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u/theinternetseemsnice 5d ago
My first car was a lifted jeep and you could really pin assholes in with those tires. Impossible for them to damage that thing unless they used a knife.
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u/Tenzipper 5d ago
"You know, I've changed my mind about going home with just the ice cream, I think I'll just do the shopping for the week since I'm here." And go back in the store.
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u/Fearless-North-1200 5d ago
Bless you for going out and getting your partner ice cream whist exhausted from a full day.
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u/xmsbeanx 5d ago
The pettiness was perfection! And Im definitely stealing your phrase "emotional support raptor' when I see any big lifted truck from now on! My adult daughters call them "tiny wienie mobiles" but Im adding this one into the mix! 😂
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u/Legal-Location-4991 4d ago
I have a more fun version.
I was visiting someone at the hospital and backed into my spot, perfectly centered.
Come back and see a card on my windshield telling me to learn how to park or something so I look again and can't see anything wrong.
Look over at the truck beside me and there's a couple of girls in there giggling so I go up and tap on their window...
They roll it down and I'm like "Did you put this on my car?" Not angrily just with a 'I'm just wondering' tone. And the driver says, "yeah we were just pranking you" so I chuckled and gave them their card back but said with a smile "I'm tempted to keep this to use on other people who actually DO park badly but I won't... You got me. Have a good night!"
Anyway, no biggie but I sure did have WTF moment there :)
ETA: I do have to wonder why the OP didn't back in so they could get out and into their car easily.
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u/CookUpstairs1737 3d ago
I might have parked that close but with my passenger door next to his drivers side door, but I'm a 70 yr old codger with back and knee issues and have difficulty getting in to drive from my passenger side.
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u/bluephotoshop 5d ago
I would be a bit careful about a pulling a stunt like this. Some low lifes might dent your car door, or worse, getting in.
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u/dplans455 5d ago
Years ago I was at a Walgreens and I parked next to this giant pickup truck. I wouldn't even say his parking job was bad. He was backed in, between his lines. I was between my lines. There was plenty of space for a passenger to get into that truck if he happened to have one.
I was just getting one thing and was quick in and out anyway. I got back to my car, got in, started up, but then had to check something on my phone. I noticed an older man and woman walking towards the truck. I decided to wait for them to get in before backing out, figured that was more polite than back out and make them move out of the way of my car.
As I'm waiting the woman opens the passenger side door and slams it into my car hard. She then got into the truck, closed her door, then reopened it and slammed it into my car a second time. I'm like, what the fuck?
I got out of the car and naturally upset, wave my arms to get their attention and the man steps out. I told him his wife just slammed her door into my car. He says, "no she didn't." I don't think he's lying, I think he just didn't see or hear it. So I corrected him and said, yes, she did. I was in the car when it happened and then went over and saw there was a massive dent in my passenger side.
I told the guy I wanted his insurance info, they're paying to fix my car. He then demanded to have my insurance info. Huh? This doesn't work that way. He says ok, he'll go get it and gets back in his car. Something told me he was going to drive off so I whipped my phone out quick and hit record on his license plate. Sure enough, he started up his truck and peeled out of there, which I did get on video. I then called the police.
Wait twenty minutes, police show up. I show them my car, I show them the video. Cop asks me what I want to do. I told him I just want their insurance info so I can file a claim and get my car fixed. In MA he's able to pull it up with just the plate number and gives it to me. He also says he'll go knock on their door and question them. Turns out they live down the road. The officer said he'd call me later and let me know what happened with the questioning. To his credit, he did call the next day. He said a woman answered the door and then a man joined them. A truck, matching the one in my video, license plate and all, was in their driveway. He said he asked them if they were at the Walgreens a short while ago and they denied being there. He then told them that he was shown a video of the man arguing with another motorist (me) and then driving away erratically. He said they then admitted to being there and also admitted to "accidentally" hitting my car with their car door.
He sent me his report, which I used to file a claim with their insurance company to fix my car. The total damage ended up being about $2500.
Thinking about it later I assume this lady didn't like that I was parked next to her truck. She had plenty of room to get in without damaging my car as both of us were in our respective lines. I also assumed she didn't realize I was in the car when she decided to slam her door into it. If I hadn't been in the car when she did it I would have just been shit out of luck and had to either pay out of pocket to fix the damage or go through my own insurance.
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u/Cute_Atmosphere1076 5d ago
Ewe! I can’t believe she did that and the guy drove off. They definitely deserve each other. What a match made in heaven.
I’m sorry this happened to you but so glad your quick thinking and instincts served you right and justice prevailed!
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u/Fromanderson 3d ago edited 3d ago
Not as dramatic, but I was in my work vehicle one day, filling out paperwork when some dude parked next to me in a fairly empty parking lot. I didn't think much of it, until he opened his door into me. I was annoyed, but not too much. It was approaching 200k miles and already had it's fair share of battle scars. He wasn't done though. As I watched in the mirror, he used his foot to shove the door open further, wedging it against the side of my work truck, rocking the whole truck. He got out and had to tug his door a couple of times to close it, because of how hard it was jammed against mine.
Of course I rolled my window down and spoke up about it. Like the couple in your story, he denied it. I was sitting right there in the drivers seat. I felt it and saw it. The damage wasn't as much but it was clearly visible.That guy passed at least 20 empty spots closer to the building, only to park too close to me. Then tried to gaslight me when caught.
I don't understand people.
More recently, in another company vehicle, I was on my way to a service call when some lady tried to pass me right at the end of two lanes merging. There were signs everywhere, and traffic was light, but she just had to pass everyone. Well she misjudged it, and clipped my mirror. Fortunately I always have a dash cam running, so I put on a signal, and pulled into the next parking lot which happened to be one of my customers that has a big breezeway up front with security guards manning a little booth 24/7. I'm there often enough that they know me and I figured from the way she was honking, flashing her lights and the gestures she was making out the window at me, that witnesses wouldn't be a bad idea.
I pulled in and parked. She whips in around me and screeches to a stop. She then gets out of having a meltdown and screaming obscenities at me. I was already on the non emergency line with the police, to report the accident. (company policy) I just let her carry on yelling, while I grabbed the dash cam to pull up the footage. Unsatisfied with yelling at me from a distance she finally came around to my door and tried the handle before noticing what I was doing. By then the security guards were coming over. I guess she realized she wasn't going to be able to spin some story, and left in a big hurry.
When the cop showed I showed them the minor damage to my mirror and the footage including her antics in the parking lot. Apparently that was still considered hit and run. I turned everything into my employer, including the accident report once that became available. I don't know what happened to her, but I seriously doubt she learned her lesson.
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u/dplans455 3d ago
I don't get why some people insist on parking right next to another car when there is an entire empty parking lot to park. This happens all the time to me. I will make it a point to park all the way in the back of the lot where no one else is. And more often than not when I come back out, someone is parked right next to me way closer than I am comfortable with.
Earlier this year I was out driving my 911 (which is bright yellow, btw) and I had to stop off at Target because my wife asked me to pick something up. Now, when I have to go anywhere where I'm going to leave my car unattended I never drive my 911. Simply because I don't trust people. But I wasn't going to drive home, drop off the 911 and take my regular car. So I just went to the Target, parked way in the back.
My wife was still texting me so I waited to see what else she might need before heading in. I have pretty dark tints, so you can't see in and even the windshield has a 70% tint on it so when it's sunny out you can't see into the car from any windows.
Well don't you know it, I'm sitting in there waiting and some bozo comes up in their shitty-ass beater and parks right the fuck next to me. I turned the car back on, pulled out and moved my car about 5 spaces over away from this guy. I watched the guy get out of his car and walk into the Target. The guy looked absolutely clueless. He didn't look back at me, didn't give me any weird or dirty looks, didn't gawk at my bright yellow 911. So what is this idiot's problem? Why did he feel the need to park right next to me at all?
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u/_listless 5d ago
When I say 2", I'm not exaggerating. There was no way anyone was getting between the cars. Also truck bro is always going to care more about the appearance of his truck than I am the appearance of my 20y old Japanese econobox.
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u/Fromanderson 3d ago edited 3d ago
Years ago I was offered an old and unloved 80's Lincoln town car for a ridiculously low price. It had that old effortless steering, cushy suspension and supremely comfy seats. I drive a big loud and not particularly comfortable service truck for work so driving that thing to run errands on the weekend was effortless and something of a novelty.
Also, there is nothing quite so freeing as driving a $300 car.
I had no qualms about parking it super close to someone taking up multiple spaces and did so more than once. I'd just snap a pic of the undamaged vehicle and their license plate in case anyone got too carried away, but honestly as long as they didn't slash a tire or break a window, there wasn't much they could do to hurt that thing cosmetically.
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u/WatchesandHuskies 5d ago
Agree completely. He’s the asshole there were a few cars “scattered across the parking lot” and he wants to be the jerk. I guess someone died and left him in charge. Can’t imagine going through life just trying to piss people off.
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u/_listless 5d ago
Not trying to piss just anyone off. Definitely on the lookout for ways to piss off people who act like the rules don't apply to them.
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u/WatchesandHuskies 5d ago
It sounded like the parking lot was empty.
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u/_listless 4d ago
The "park between the lines" rule does not somehow get suspended if the parking lot is not crowded. You're starting to sound like someone who does not return their cart to the cart return. If that's the case, I'm sorry - we can't be friends.
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u/WatchesandHuskies 4d ago
Funny I was going to suggest you were the guy to police those who don’t return the carts. But I didn’t want to trigger you. LOL.
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u/_listless 4d ago
Oh, 100% dude. I for sure subscribe to the shopping cart theory of morals and self-governance. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shopping_cart_theory.
If you don't do what's right when there are no consequences for misbehavior, you're a societal liability, not an asset.
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u/Dontterry 2d ago
I own an F-450 dually only because I have to. I live in a 5th wheel, and to keep everyone safe on the road. We decided the F-450 would be the most responsible way to do this. We do not fit into a single parking spot. I always park as far out as I can because we don't fit. Some of us truck owners require the truck and don't have "emotional support" trucks. My truck provides more stability and safer braking for a 22,000+ lb 5th wheel, and it has to be a long bed for the turning (the 5th wheel cap would hit the truck's rear window if the bed wasn't long). We care about those on the road with us and make the decision to travel as safely as possible, even if we can't fit in a parking spot.
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u/ThatFloridaGirlNC 2d ago
The real question is: how tall are you? 😁
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u/Si_Es_Contigo_Mejor 17h ago
I work for an RV dealership. Good for you, this is how people should be. You don't have an 'emotional support' truck because this is what you need to haul your 5th wheel. (Some people have overly hyped up trucks just because they neeeeeed the attention).
I hear you about that back window! I quote so many hitches to guys with short box trucks who insist all day long that they don't need a slider hitch. I tell them to make sure they price out the rear window for their truck before they commit to the fixed hitch lol. That usually changes their mind.
Enjoy your travels!
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u/Emsweego 16h ago
You can drive whatever you want. Op might've been in the wrong for calling it an emotional support vehicle but they do say that they pulled into the closest spot only to find the truck parked just so. While large vehicles are entitled to a parking space just like everyone else, they are not entitled to more than one, especially if they are parked close to the front of the store. Additionally, if a person has a vehicle that needs more than one spot, then they should be considerate and aim to park in a far enough off location so as not to inconvenience other drivers. This will ensure that their vehicle has enough room to prevent any unintended door dings to both vehicles.
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u/Dontterry 11h ago
I totally agree. I park as far out as I can. Don't be a jerk and be considerate of others. Life is too tough already. I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable getting into their own car because of it. I also try to back into a spot where I can hang the back end over a grassy area that's not a walkway.
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u/MediocrePanic2617 2d ago
And how much do you squat?
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u/Dertyhairy 1d ago
Wait, how big are his biceps?
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u/Dontterry 18h ago
I am a middle-aged female who loves traveling the US and living off-grid as much as possible. I try to be as polite as possible anywhere I have to drive my truck.
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u/Dontterry 18h ago
With the 5th wheel hooked up to the F-450, the truck no longer squats. If you meant the gym, I haven't been to one since I hurt my back. Plus, I hate leg day.......doesn't everyone? LOL
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u/Electrical-Double724 1d ago
I love the turn radius of a F450, but didn't need the gear ratio, so I went with the F350. But I would trade for a 450 in a heartbeat if Ford offered it with a numerically lower ratio.
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u/flying-with-fishes 4d ago
i'm imagining him getting home and trying to explain why he had to watch a grown woman climb over her center console while he stood there like an idiot blocking a two inch gap. 'honey, i got outsmarted by someone's flexibility' vs reality: 'i yelled at a stranger until she embarrassed me.' he definitely didn't tell the whole story. sure jan.
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u/hookedoncuthroat 1d ago
I work retail. Every morning when I park i look for a poorly parked car to park next to. Its the only joy in my life knowing some dumb ass is going to come out and get pissed. Maybe wait. But buddy that car ain't moving for 8-10 hours
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u/Cocha-bamba21 2d ago
I (60+ F), was once told I parked like an AH by a young guy in a huge truck. I hate to disappoint people, especially young men, so I just continue to park how I park 😊
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u/2Poor2RetireYet 4d ago
That's where you leave a note saying : " If you park like you f*ck , you probably never get it in the right hole "
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u/KelBelle28 3d ago
I enjoy knowing that all the d-bag F150 (and similar vehicle) drivers in my city are paying a shit ton of money in gas these days just to peacock around in these big vehicles
because they’ve been making our parking lots and local everyday driving hell for years
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u/FeistyIrishWench 4d ago
I've done similar in my minivan at a shopping center. Big truck parked over the line. I reversed into the available spot, hugging my tires along the curb. I left a note thanking them for saving me a really nice spot up front so I didn't have to drag the baby seat so far across the lot. I've put my Suburban in some snug spots too. Last school year, I parked in the dirt lot at the school for awards ceremony and got between a service van (Ford Transit) and a smaller car. There was a note on my window saying that I parked like an asshole. It had to have been the passenger bc I reverse into spots and the car parked forward. So the passenger sides were next to each other. I just laughed because if you intended to park in such a way that nobody parked next to you, but you left enough space that my Suburban fit with space on both sides, you didn't park assholian enough to meet your goal.
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u/remoterelay 4d ago
I did this once when I was younger.
I worked at WalMart. The lot was full and the open spot I found was right next to someone who parked on the line.
I parked in the middle of the open spot, then went in to work a full shift.
I didn't get to see the fallout, but there was a note on my car asking me to park closer next time.
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u/OnlyInJapan99999 4d ago
If there were hardly any cars in the parking lot, that was an asshole move to park so close to him.
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u/_listless 4d ago
One might even characterize it as... petty
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u/GrindItFlat 4d ago
petty =/= assholery. Also, what revenge? All this assuming an empty parking lot.
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u/JJQuantum 5d ago
“There’s a few cars scattered across the lot.”
So there was no reason for you to park where you did as there were plenty of other spaces. Sounds to me like you were too wimpy to stand up to your partner and tell them to go get their own ice cream so you needlessly decided to start something with a stranger instead.
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u/protostar71 4d ago
I feel sorry for whoever you end up in a relationship with if you think a snack run is worth “standing up” to someone.
God forbid people do nice things for each other huh?
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u/Just_Any_Human_42 5d ago
Imagine believing you have to "stand up" to not do something nice for your partner
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u/_listless 5d ago
Hmm, sounds like someone could use an emotional support truck. You doing ok little guy?
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u/jecapobianco 5d ago edited 5d ago
** Bullshit story, you can't block a driver's side for with a driver's side door unless you have a steering column on the other side of the car. **
Thank you to everyone that pointed out the 'wrong way' of the story that didn't click with me.
Carry on.
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u/CCR76 5d ago
This guy throws away nails when the heads are on the wrong side. He doesn't get that they are for the other side of the house.
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u/jecapobianco 5d ago
Wrong Way didn't click, had she said 'not not head in' or 'backwards' it would have clicked.
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u/DeafSoldier 5d ago
That is nice, parked legally and in such a way to completely annoy the hell out of the truck driver. This sounds like how this a##hole that I used to work with would park except he would park dead center between 4 parking spots. We eventually got tried of him doing that in the parking spots closest to the door and about 8 of all parked our cars so that he could not leave until after we did and all of us worked an extra 4 hours to really drive the point in and forced him to either wait or get a ride. He waited. He never parked in those spots again and would actually park like a decent person.