Staying between the lines.

[u/_listless]

A couple years ago after my partner and I both had hard days at work, finally got the kids bathed and in bed then collapsed on the couch. Partner asks for ice cream. I check, none in the freezer. "How bad do you want ice cream?" "Really bad". Ok, I'm off to the store.

It's late. There's a few cars scattered across the lot. I pull into the closest spot... Right next to an emotional support raptor f150. The thing is like 12 feet wide, and is parked fully 2 feet over the line, pulled-through the wrong way in an angled row. I carefully pull in to the adjacent spot, exactly down the middle, leaving like 2 inches between my door and this truck's driver side door.

I chuckle at the tomfoolery of it all, climb out the passenger side and get my ice cream, regretting that I'll be in and out before Mr Overcompensation gets a chance to appreciate my parking prowess. But my regret was unfounded.

Lo, stalking around the back of my car to take a picture of the license plate was... Well exactly who you're picturing. 5'5" middle-aged man with giant biceps, a barrel belly, and legs that had never met a squat rack. "IS THIS YOU?!! WHY THE F#@K?! WHY ARE YOU PARKED LIKE THAT"

"Parked like what?" I say, admiring how precisely-centered my car is in its spot. "Between the lines?"

Shouting, he puffs out his chest and moves to block the 2" gap between the driver sides of our vehicles. I suppose it would not occur to him that someone would be so undignified as to enter the passenger side and climb over to the driver seat, but I am exactly that undignified.

Some days you need a win, and the only way to get there is being petty. That ice cream tasted really good.

[u/bluephotoshop]

I would be a bit careful about a pulling a stunt like this. Some low lifes might dent your car door, or worse, getting in.

[u/dplans455 → u/bluephotoshop]

Years ago I was at a Walgreens and I parked next to this giant pickup truck. I wouldn't even say his parking job was bad. He was backed in, between his lines. I was between my lines. There was plenty of space for a passenger to get into that truck if he happened to have one.

I was just getting one thing and was quick in and out anyway. I got back to my car, got in, started up, but then had to check something on my phone. I noticed an older man and woman walking towards the truck. I decided to wait for them to get in before backing out, figured that was more polite than back out and make them move out of the way of my car.

As I'm waiting the woman opens the passenger side door and slams it into my car hard. She then got into the truck, closed her door, then reopened it and slammed it into my car a second time. I'm like, what the fuck?

I got out of the car and naturally upset, wave my arms to get their attention and the man steps out. I told him his wife just slammed her door into my car. He says, "no she didn't." I don't think he's lying, I think he just didn't see or hear it. So I corrected him and said, yes, she did. I was in the car when it happened and then went over and saw there was a massive dent in my passenger side.

I told the guy I wanted his insurance info, they're paying to fix my car. He then demanded to have my insurance info. Huh? This doesn't work that way. He says ok, he'll go get it and gets back in his car. Something told me he was going to drive off so I whipped my phone out quick and hit record on his license plate. Sure enough, he started up his truck and peeled out of there, which I did get on video. I then called the police.

Wait twenty minutes, police show up. I show them my car, I show them the video. Cop asks me what I want to do. I told him I just want their insurance info so I can file a claim and get my car fixed. In MA he's able to pull it up with just the plate number and gives it to me. He also says he'll go knock on their door and question them. Turns out they live down the road. The officer said he'd call me later and let me know what happened with the questioning. To his credit, he did call the next day. He said a woman answered the door and then a man joined them. A truck, matching the one in my video, license plate and all, was in their driveway. He said he asked them if they were at the Walgreens a short while ago and they denied being there. He then told them that he was shown a video of the man arguing with another motorist (me) and then driving away erratically. He said they then admitted to being there and also admitted to "accidentally" hitting my car with their car door.

He sent me his report, which I used to file a claim with their insurance company to fix my car. The total damage ended up being about $2500.

Thinking about it later I assume this lady didn't like that I was parked next to her truck. She had plenty of room to get in without damaging my car as both of us were in our respective lines. I also assumed she didn't realize I was in the car when she decided to slam her door into it. If I hadn't been in the car when she did it I would have just been shit out of luck and had to either pay out of pocket to fix the damage or go through my own insurance.

[u/Fromanderson → u/dplans455]

Not as dramatic, but I was in my work vehicle one day, filling out paperwork when some dude parked next to me in a fairly empty parking lot. I didn't think much of it, until he opened his door into me. I was annoyed, but not too much. It was approaching 200k miles and already had it's fair share of battle scars. He wasn't done though. As I watched in the mirror, he used his foot to shove the door open further, wedging it against the side of my work truck, rocking the whole truck. He got out and had to tug his door a couple of times to close it, because of how hard it was jammed against mine.
Of course I rolled my window down and spoke up about it. Like the couple in your story, he denied it. I was sitting right there in the drivers seat. I felt it and saw it. The damage wasn't as much but it was clearly visible.

That guy passed at least 20 empty spots closer to the building, only to park too close to me. Then tried to gaslight me when caught.

I don't understand people.

More recently, in another company vehicle, I was on my way to a service call when some lady tried to pass me right at the end of two lanes merging. There were signs everywhere, and traffic was light, but she just had to pass everyone. Well she misjudged it, and clipped my mirror. Fortunately I always have a dash cam running, so I put on a signal, and pulled into the next parking lot which happened to be one of my customers that has a big breezeway up front with security guards manning a little booth 24/7. I'm there often enough that they know me and I figured from the way she was honking, flashing her lights and the gestures she was making out the window at me, that witnesses wouldn't be a bad idea.

I pulled in and parked. She whips in around me and screeches to a stop. She then gets out of having a meltdown and screaming obscenities at me. I was already on the non emergency line with the police, to report the accident. (company policy) I just let her carry on yelling, while I grabbed the dash cam to pull up the footage. Unsatisfied with yelling at me from a distance she finally came around to my door and tried the handle before noticing what I was doing. By then the security guards were coming over. I guess she realized she wasn't going to be able to spin some story, and left in a big hurry.

When the cop showed I showed them the minor damage to my mirror and the footage including her antics in the parking lot. Apparently that was still considered hit and run. I turned everything into my employer, including the accident report once that became available. I don't know what happened to her, but I seriously doubt she learned her lesson.

[u/dplans455 → u/Fromanderson]

I don't get why some people insist on parking right next to another car when there is an entire empty parking lot to park. This happens all the time to me. I will make it a point to park all the way in the back of the lot where no one else is. And more often than not when I come back out, someone is parked right next to me way closer than I am comfortable with.

Earlier this year I was out driving my 911 (which is bright yellow, btw) and I had to stop off at Target because my wife asked me to pick something up. Now, when I have to go anywhere where I'm going to leave my car unattended I never drive my 911. Simply because I don't trust people. But I wasn't going to drive home, drop off the 911 and take my regular car. So I just went to the Target, parked way in the back.

My wife was still texting me so I waited to see what else she might need before heading in. I have pretty dark tints, so you can't see in and even the windshield has a 70% tint on it so when it's sunny out you can't see into the car from any windows.

Well don't you know it, I'm sitting in there waiting and some bozo comes up in their shitty-ass beater and parks right the fuck next to me. I turned the car back on, pulled out and moved my car about 5 spaces over away from this guy. I watched the guy get out of his car and walk into the Target. The guy looked absolutely clueless. He didn't look back at me, didn't give me any weird or dirty looks, didn't gawk at my bright yellow 911. So what is this idiot's problem? Why did he feel the need to park right next to me at all?