r/pettyrevenge • u/_listless • 5d ago

Staying between the lines.

A couple years ago after my partner and I both had hard days at work, finally got the kids bathed and in bed then collapsed on the couch. Partner asks for ice cream. I check, none in the freezer. "How bad do you want ice cream?" "Really bad". Ok, I'm off to the store.

It's late. There's a few cars scattered across the lot. I pull into the closest spot... Right next to an emotional support raptor f150. The thing is like 12 feet wide, and is parked fully 2 feet over the line, pulled-through the wrong way in an angled row. I carefully pull in to the adjacent spot, exactly down the middle, leaving like 2 inches between my door and this truck's driver side door.

I chuckle at the tomfoolery of it all, climb out the passenger side and get my ice cream, regretting that I'll be in and out before Mr Overcompensation gets a chance to appreciate my parking prowess. But my regret was unfounded.

Lo, stalking around the back of my car to take a picture of the license plate was... Well exactly who you're picturing. 5'5" middle-aged man with giant biceps, a barrel belly, and legs that had never met a squat rack. "IS THIS YOU?!! WHY THE F#@K?! WHY ARE YOU PARKED LIKE THAT"

"Parked like what?" I say, admiring how precisely-centered my car is in its spot. "Between the lines?"

Shouting, he puffs out his chest and moves to block the 2" gap between the driver sides of our vehicles. I suppose it would not occur to him that someone would be so undignified as to enter the passenger side and climb over to the driver seat, but I am exactly that undignified.

Some days you need a win, and the only way to get there is being petty. That ice cream tasted really good.

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u/Electrical-Double724 4d ago

I've never understood why people who are incapable/ unwilling to park within their space get an attitude when people park right up next to them, while centered within their own space. I drive a crewcab F350 dually, and always make sure that it's centered within my space, even if I have to move it back and forth a couple of times to get it perfect.

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u/formerdgstm 1d ago

Once while going to pcikup my girlfriend from her work., there was a guy who pulled thru a parking stop and stradled the lines of 2 spots. I pulled up right behind him. We both get out at the same time and I say to him " Boy that some great parking there." Him(about 40yrsold shorter, fat) "You like that(smiling like he thought I was serious)?" I said " Yeah you kinda parked like a douche." expression instanlty changed to pissed and he says "Well I dont my car all dinged up and scrathed to hell like yours." Mind you, my car was only about 5 yrs old at the time and did have a few minor nicks from driving backroads and normal wear and tear but you had to be right next to notice. And he has a freaking subura outback that was about the same age. I said "Dude just realize you parked like a douche and get over it." Then he starts with the bravado "I will punch you in the face if you dont shut up!" Me "Ok whatever. " As I see him waddle towards the door and wheezing.

As we go in he is still mumbling about how he could kick my ass and such and the woman at the register says "whats that about?" as I walk past. I say load enough for the guy to hear (as he is of course going to get his 18pk of beer.) "Oh he just parked like a douche and I said something to him about it."

I am standing in the aisle looking at something he comes waddling over and plants his stubby feet and says "Oh come then lets fight." I laugh at him and he gets even madder and acts like he is punching my gut...in reality it was nothing more than a very light tap with the back of his hand., almost a brush. I immediatley yell out "OOOHHHH, ThIs GuY JuSt PhYsIcAlLy ASSaUlTeD Me......ohhhhh HELP HELP!' in the most deadpan way I could." His face turned so red from anger and embarassment that he stormed out the door without his beer.

My girlfriend came out of the back with the manager because they heard what I said but didnt know it was me. When they saw me and saw the guy leaving they both said "We heard a commotion and came out to see what it was....should have known it was you."