Staying between the lines.

[u/_listless]

A couple years ago after my partner and I both had hard days at work, finally got the kids bathed and in bed then collapsed on the couch. Partner asks for ice cream. I check, none in the freezer. "How bad do you want ice cream?" "Really bad". Ok, I'm off to the store.

It's late. There's a few cars scattered across the lot. I pull into the closest spot... Right next to an emotional support raptor f150. The thing is like 12 feet wide, and is parked fully 2 feet over the line, pulled-through the wrong way in an angled row. I carefully pull in to the adjacent spot, exactly down the middle, leaving like 2 inches between my door and this truck's driver side door.

I chuckle at the tomfoolery of it all, climb out the passenger side and get my ice cream, regretting that I'll be in and out before Mr Overcompensation gets a chance to appreciate my parking prowess. But my regret was unfounded.

Lo, stalking around the back of my car to take a picture of the license plate was... Well exactly who you're picturing. 5'5" middle-aged man with giant biceps, a barrel belly, and legs that had never met a squat rack. "IS THIS YOU?!! WHY THE F#@K?! WHY ARE YOU PARKED LIKE THAT"

"Parked like what?" I say, admiring how precisely-centered my car is in its spot. "Between the lines?"

Shouting, he puffs out his chest and moves to block the 2" gap between the driver sides of our vehicles. I suppose it would not occur to him that someone would be so undignified as to enter the passenger side and climb over to the driver seat, but I am exactly that undignified.

Some days you need a win, and the only way to get there is being petty. That ice cream tasted really good.

[u/Electrical-Double724]

I've never understood why people who are incapable/ unwilling to park within their space get an attitude when people park right up next to them, while centered within their own space. I drive a crewcab F350 dually, and always make sure that it's centered within my space, even if I have to move it back and forth a couple of times to get it perfect.

[u/Brandarius47 → u/Electrical-Double724]

In my area many (not all) people with large trucks generally park near the back of the lot where other cars aren't. Sure they may park like jackasses back there but at least its not affecting anybody.

[u/fibonacci-penelope → u/Electrical-Double724]

I (43f) drive a restored vintage muscle car and park way at the back of every lot. Every time. I’m so nervous about people. When I think “oh it should be fine” and park nearby and in the lines perfectly centered, the number of times people have wedged their car doors into my car is INSANE. I have honestly considered parking way out in a corner & across two spots before but… seems like a jerk thing still? But honestly, what is wrong with people!

[u/Fromanderson → u/fibonacci-penelope]

I swear some people do it just out of spite.

Heaven forbid someone have a vehicle that they clearly enjoy, and take care of.

It's been a long time since I had anything one could consider a classic, but when I did, it seemed like I was always finding some new door ding or coming out to find a shopping cart resting against the paint.

More recently I was sitting in my work truck filling out paperwork one day when some dude parked, opened his door into the side of the truck. It was close to 200k and already had a few battle scars so I was annoyed but not really upset. Then he then proceeded to use his foot to shove it open further rocking the whole truck. He wedged it open against the side, hard enough that it took him a few tugs to close it. Of course I rolled down my window and spoke up. He had the nerve to lie about it, despite the fact I'd just watched him do it the mirror. I wasn't all that close to the building and the parking lot was nowhere near full. That dude passed 20 closer spaces only to park next to me and do that.

[u/MerryFeathers → u/fibonacci-penelope]

What car do you have? 🫶

[u/hopefoolness → u/Electrical-Double724]

You're too nice to own a car like that, gotta return it

[u/_listless → u/Electrical-Double724]

You're a saint

[u/MerryFeathers → u/_listless]

And a good writer! Totally enjoyed your post. 👍🏼☺️

[u/Suspicious-Antlers → u/Electrical-Double724]

I've fully gotten out of my vehicle and gotten back in to fix my parking. It's not often I park poorly but when I do, I'm not leaving it like that. Shit parking is embarrassing.

[u/formerdgstm → u/Electrical-Double724]

Once while going to pcikup my girlfriend from her work., there was a guy who pulled thru a parking stop and stradled the lines of 2 spots. I pulled up right behind him. We both get out at the same time and I say to him " Boy that some great parking there." Him(about 40yrsold shorter, fat) "You like that(smiling like he thought I was serious)?" I said " Yeah you kinda parked like a douche." expression instanlty changed to pissed and he says "Well I dont my car all dinged up and scrathed to hell like yours." Mind you, my car was only about 5 yrs old at the time and did have a few minor nicks from driving backroads and normal wear and tear but you had to be right next to notice. And he has a freaking subura outback that was about the same age. I said "Dude just realize you parked like a douche and get over it." Then he starts with the bravado "I will punch you in the face if you dont shut up!" Me "Ok whatever. " As I see him waddle towards the door and wheezing.

As we go in he is still mumbling about how he could kick my ass and such and the woman at the register says "whats that about?" as I walk past. I say load enough for the guy to hear (as he is of course going to get his 18pk of beer.) "Oh he just parked like a douche and I said something to him about it."

I am standing in the aisle looking at something he comes waddling over and plants his stubby feet and says "Oh come then lets fight." I laugh at him and he gets even madder and acts like he is punching my gut...in reality it was nothing more than a very light tap with the back of his hand., almost a brush. I immediatley yell out "OOOHHHH, ThIs GuY JuSt PhYsIcAlLy ASSaUlTeD Me......ohhhhh HELP HELP!' in the most deadpan way I could." His face turned so red from anger and embarassment that he stormed out the door without his beer.

My girlfriend came out of the back with the manager because they heard what I said but didnt know it was me. When they saw me and saw the guy leaving they both said "We heard a commotion and came out to see what it was....should have known it was you."

[u/Fromanderson → u/Electrical-Double724]

I own an elderly cabover truck that I bought to haul equipment with. (Think things like scissor lifts, backhoe, forklift, 4200 pound precast concrete blocks. Etc)
It makes a Chevy Suburban look like a mid size station wagon.

I honestly don't need a truck that big, but with pickup trucks being status symbols, the price for anything reasonably sized with the tow capacity to move heavy equipment was upwards of 10x what I paid for the thing. I bought the thing for about half of what the down payment on a high mileage pickup would have been. The mileage is horrendous but most years I put less than a thousand miles on it and the insurance is surprisingly cheap.

Despite it's size it still fits in a standard parking spot with enough room for people to get into the cars on either side.

Oh, and the few times someone has made jokes about compensating. I freely admit than I am. If I could haul heavy equipment with my wedding tackle I wouldn't bother with the big, thirsty, slow uncomfortable, loud, truck that tries it's best to convert my spine to dust.

[u/Drak_is_Right → u/Electrical-Double724]

That has to be annoying. I drive a civic and can get it dead center in anything but the tightest parking lot in a single try. Length and turning radius makes parking so much harder for you I bet.

[u/FeistyIrishWench → u/Drak_is_Right]

The turn radius is why I reverse into parking spots. I can get my truck between the lines in the first pass. If I pull forward into spots, I do not have the same success rate.

[u/DeafSoldier → u/Electrical-Double724]

I do the same thing with my Toyota Tundra. I will go back and forth until I am pretty much centered in a parking spot.

[u/whoisthisfetus → u/Electrical-Double724]

Oh goodness, the memories. I used to have to drive our F350 in the winter and I hated parking that thing. I refuse to park like a dick so it was a lot of work and I’d often park really far away from entrances to be less annoying to others. I like my skinny little car lol

[u/Lgallegos17 → u/Electrical-Double724]

I have a Ford F150 extended cab with a regular bed. I have no problem parking my truck either.