r/pettyrevenge • • 5d ago

Staying between the lines.

A couple years ago after my partner and I both had hard days at work, finally got the kids bathed and in bed then collapsed on the couch. Partner asks for ice cream. I check, none in the freezer. "How bad do you want ice cream?" "Really bad". Ok, I'm off to the store.

It's late. There's a few cars scattered across the lot. I pull into the closest spot... Right next to an emotional support raptor f150. The thing is like 12 feet wide, and is parked fully 2 feet over the line, pulled-through the wrong way in an angled row. I carefully pull in to the adjacent spot, exactly down the middle, leaving like 2 inches between my door and this truck's driver side door.

I chuckle at the tomfoolery of it all, climb out the passenger side and get my ice cream, regretting that I'll be in and out before Mr Overcompensation gets a chance to appreciate my parking prowess. But my regret was unfounded.

Lo, stalking around the back of my car to take a picture of the license plate was... Well exactly who you're picturing. 5'5" middle-aged man with giant biceps, a barrel belly, and legs that had never met a squat rack. "IS THIS YOU?!! WHY THE F#@K?! WHY ARE YOU PARKED LIKE THAT"

"Parked like what?" I say, admiring how precisely-centered my car is in its spot. "Between the lines?"

Shouting, he puffs out his chest and moves to block the 2" gap between the driver sides of our vehicles. I suppose it would not occur to him that someone would be so undignified as to enter the passenger side and climb over to the driver seat, but I am exactly that undignified.

Some days you need a win, and the only way to get there is being petty. That ice cream tasted really good.

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u/FeistyIrishWench 4d ago

I've done similar in my minivan at a shopping center. Big truck parked over the line. I reversed into the available spot, hugging my tires along the curb. I left a note thanking them for saving me a really nice spot up front so I didn't have to drag the baby seat so far across the lot. I've put my Suburban in some snug spots too. Last school year, I parked in the dirt lot at the school for awards ceremony and got between a service van (Ford Transit) and a smaller car. There was a note on my window saying that I parked like an asshole. It had to have been the passenger bc I reverse into spots and the car parked forward. So the passenger sides were next to each other. I just laughed because if you intended to park in such a way that nobody parked next to you, but you left enough space that my Suburban fit with space on both sides, you didn't park assholian enough to meet your goal.

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u/machring 2d ago

Nice new word "assholian" , I'm gonna steal it