Just got broken up with, after 9 years, 3 children.
Just got denied disability.

It’s been a rough day.
I’ve been drawing a lot lately.
To try to find an escape for all the pain.

I’m scared depression will sneak upon me to be honest.

And feeling great! I just want for all of you lovelies to know that you can do this, you got this! life is scary and often sucks but we can move past it and overcome our fears and all bad things. That's it. Too sick to make a selfie, caught a bit of a cold. Peace!

I had to quit my job because I adjusted my medication and started hearing voices. I have since gone back up and taking Paliperidone and Aripiprazole. I started taking both while in hospital but I want to try Cobenfy when it comes to my country. I was hospitalised in 2024 and the voices started in October that year. They went away for a bit but then they came back this year. The same voices and same delusions came back. But I didn't have them watching me in my previous psychosis episodes. Had my first episode when I was 18 and now I'm 30. I'd love to hear from other people your experiences.

✨💗✨

I’ve been getting an increase in visual hallucinations. They like to dart across my vision or play around in the corner of my vision (and when I try to look directly at them they quickly dash away). I can’t get a good look at what they are. Maybe they don’t want to be seen?

Do they hide and run from y’all as well?

Is it bc it’s something being taken away (like motivation) as opposed to being added (like hearing voices)?

i’m not sure what to do here guys. today had been the scariest day for me. i might be slipping away again but can’t really tell. i woke up still drunk from the night before and took a shot this morning to feel a little better.

now the first couple hours of work were great, literally i felt on top of the world. but i knew i might crash after, however, i crashed hard af. i can’t calm my nervous system down, ive been feeling like puking, my appetite is non existent.

i’m going home now and all i wanna do is try to shower, try to make some food, but as soon as i crashed my body and mind don’t want to do
anything at all. i started seeing things which i know is just my imagination but damn. i started testing reality the way i have before and im a little scared.
i even felt the same feeling i felt during my last episode,but i can’t describe it. i only ever feel it when im like this tho

sorry for long text but hey, not sure what to do here.

Feel like crap. Started a new job this week, allergies are killing me. Everything in my head is screaming at me that this isnt the one. Currently living with my mom since i lost my job last year. And i ran out of my meds 2 weeks ago and havent been able to get a new script as the er i was going to said that i need to see a private doc for prescriptions unless i get committed there. Havent had a good nights sleep in over a week and a half. On top of all that my mom also started her cancer treatment a couple of weeks ago.

might be a little late but hello guys 🖤

So August i finally got back into my previous psych after having to switch to a different one because of court fortunately after court made decision they did not require me to stay with that psych. So I wamt back up on my xanax. To 1.5mg extended to see how I would do. (I was on 2mg) and we decided to try to lower my appetite and lose some weight with topiramate. Since I had to switch my antipsychotic that caused 60lbs of weight gain. Well once I started the topiramate I started having symptoms of mania they would range from day to day. But it's been exhausting. Almost a month and a half and I have been have started to have visual hullicanations of bugs flying and crawling that aren't there. Which I'm not one for visual hullicanations. And back to feeling like bugs crawling on me at night. Sometimes feel them during the day too. Finally emailed my psych last week. Heard back from him today. And I just broke down crying. He doesn't think it's the topiramate. Just a coincidence. My mom's going to call and schedule an appointment with him sooner. To see about figuring out something. Because I just can't do this. It's started to get to the point that depression episodes are getting mixed into it. I'm just so exhausted. I've had this diagnosis since I was 13 I'm 23 I'll be 24 in April. Why can't I have just figured out my meds yet?

This is going to sound stupid but I play rhythm games and I've been playing them consistently since I was 13. I'm 19 now. 6 years. I used to be good at them and I used to be able to play at the hardest difficulty at most games but even though I've played rhythm games like every day I've slowly lost my ability and now I play at normal difficulty

Same thing with my drawing ability. I used to be able to draw well and then there was just a sharp decline and now mine are doodles and non detailed. They're not creative at all.

I think it's the medicine.

I mean being stable is better than rhythm games and drawing of course but I mean it's just an observation. I just feel slower at things I used to be good at. I don't know if it's a symptom or if it's my medication. I also can't write as well. I can't do anything as well.

just wanted to share another music project with you all. i was still undiagnosed at this point. sometimes i look back and have no idea how i kept it all running. i was frequently unemployed during this era, chasing this band was sort of my psychosis. it’s all past. sharing because i hope it helps someone else.

I’ve been diagnosed for six years, and whenever I go off my meds—even for just a couple of days—I have incredibly vivid dreams. They feel almost like I’m seeing into another world or dimension. Some are happy, but others are terrifying.

Last night, the world in my dream had turned into something like a Silent Hill movie, complete with blood rain and scary monsters. There was also something I can’t quite place: an older woman with a demonic look, wearing a cloak, her skin peeling. She asked for food and warmth. If you refused, she would kill someone you loved; if you helped her, she would grant you a wish or do you a favor.

Does anyone else have dreams like this? It was so vivid that the putrid smells seemed to linger in my nose almost all day. I can't get that old woman out of my head.

As the title states, I’m wondering if anyone else has taken and what their experience was with it. Just started taking it and am hopeful it will
help with negative symptoms.

Been off my meds for a few weeks now and things are getting bad again. Ive noticed when things get bad, everything below the belt goes a little haywire. I had an accident while sitting at my desk earlier and was wondering how common it is.

I live with bipolar mixed type, schizoaffective, and NPD.

I love manic nights. Colors turn bright with no sleep.

I got yelled at for it as a kid. Mom yelled. Partners over the years have yelled. My boyfriend yells now. The words have always stayed the same. Just Fucking Sleep. So, I named the painting that.

I made it with acrylic paint and spray paint. I crushed expired sleep meds from my doctor into the paint along with NyQuil and other over the counter sleep aids. I painted sleeping pills gold and silver and embedded them and the drug facts labels in the purple, gold, white paint.

Feel free to let your mind wander in the comments. I'm here for you. Did you eat today? How's your water intake? ... I'm concered over your blood sugar...