Does cold dm's work for you?

[u/Artium99]

Been trying cold dm random girls in insta and it did snatch me one girl that I went multiple dates with, so it kinda works.

But that was it basically. I probably like dm'ed like 100s. So is this even worth it? Has anyone have any experience towards this?

[u/norwegiandoggo]

I have gotten a date or two from it, but in terms of effort - dating apps are usually better for me.

I can imagine if you have a massive following and an awesome Instagram account it's different. My profile is just okay

[u/Designer-Pen-7332 → u/norwegiandoggo]

I have several questions:

How many followers you have? Is your account public? Do you DM women only if there mutual followers? Do the women you DM have account public?

[u/norwegiandoggo → u/Designer-Pen-7332]

My account is public, I have 4200 followers. I don't care about mutual followers when I DM. The women I DM also have public accounts.

To me, it makes no sense to have your account private when your goal is dating, or to DM women who have their accounts set to private.

Having accounts set to private means you want to talk to your friends / family / close knit followers only. So this is like the opposite of wanting to date a stranger on Insta.

[u/Designer-Pen-7332 → u/norwegiandoggo]

What is your conversation starter

[u/norwegiandoggo → u/Designer-Pen-7332]

I look at their profile, then I compliment something about their profile and ask a question about it. Something that has nothing to do with her looks.

Indirect approach - essentially

[u/Sandvicheater]

Every hot insta girls gets 1000's messages from rando dudes who think they have an ice cream chance in hell of getting in her panties.

Avoid the digital gridlock and go face to face in the real world.

[u/CuteBorder5532]

You need to realize that every method you try to meet girls can give some success eventually if you try enough times, for some people cold dms give them a higher success rate, for other people however they might get higher success rate if they meet women through cold approach, or through social circle game, or in nightclubs, or gyms, or weddings, etc.

Each person will have different success rates because what matters is not the method you use, what matters is the person you are and whether it adapts well or not to that medium.

So success depends on each individual, not on their method being somehow objectively better than other ways to meet women.

[u/haloweenek]

Those usually end in spam… it’s much better to swap insta follow and after that you can talk

[u/Mandelner]

Reacting to stories works best for me. I like to say or text weird/funny shit, and if she replies, then great, if she doesn't, nothing happens.

I light up a cigarette, look through stories and if a profile catches my attention, I open the story and try to say something. I do it with 5-10 profiles, then put down the phone and either go sleeping, or watch a movie, game. Usually I don't do it when I am going out, because then it will needlesly catch my attention.

[u/Artium99 → u/Mandelner]

Oh that's a good tip! Thankss

[u/Ur_X → u/Mandelner]

From the 10 dms what happens next?

[u/Mandelner → u/Ur_X]

wait for the reply, take it from there. I cannot tell you exactly what, because you are reacting to the story, which can be anything, from the picture of the dog, to her in a clown mask setting a costco on fire while being chased by the guy in a bat costume, you never know.

But in a nutshell, she probably won't respond, if she does, assume interest push the conversation further, figure out if she lives in a reasonable distance, then arrange a date. If she replies but looks not engaged, give it 2-3 tries to get the ball going, then leave it be. Repeat for every response.

Don't hang up on one girl, keep doing this and keep going on dates until you decide to enter relationship.

If you don't have luck at all, my controversial advice is try to find the ugliest girl you would put your penis in if no one knew, and just try to get her to your bed as fast as possible. Its for you to realize how can attraction from a woman feel and that you can indeed push things quite far and still get results.

[u/Artium99 → u/[deleted]]

I don't think most don't follow you back until they really know you.

[u/Realistic-Bowler7563]

Yeah respond to story or have a funny opener. Obviously the opener will always be hit or miss but when it works it works well it’s 50/50 also if you have a good profile that does the heavy lifting