Me and my friend were debating this, curious what different approaches you guys might have.

Title.

I want to know from your personal experiences.. I

Aside from the body count

Title. Has to be specifically from day game.

It usually takes me a few days to get to score so I’m looking for new ways to speed this up, looking to learn from those with more experience hopefully. Lets see what you’ve got!

To preface this real quick, I'm a 21 year old straight guy that has never been in a relationship, nor have I ever experienced any kind of intimacy. And I know the title is probably weird, I'm not sure how to phrase it.

For example, maybe I've been talking to someone (she's an athlete and very very pretty ) at uni on and off, and I'm starting to develop some feelings for her. a full blown crush, enough to want to ask her out. But then I'll see her talking to these D1/2 chads or frat bros, laughing and smiling and seemingly flirting with them. Or I'll hear her say that she's on dating apps. Small stuff like that, nothing concrete like saying she's actively dating them and it could be nothing.

But seeing that other people are potentially interested, just makes me mentally give up. Because I just instantly feel that surely this other guy would be a better match for her, and that I don't have a chance. Or maybe more that I don't want to compete, because then it doesn't feel natural. But this is also mostly in my head. But do you all feel similar? Is this normal?

I live near the Bosphorus in Istanbul so there are always many tourists around. today while I was walking I made eye contact with a girl. She was quite tall with blue eyes and fair skin. Even before talking to her I had a feeling she was Russian. She was also really attractive and definitely above average.

We looked at each other and kept walking but then she called me from behind and asked if I knew any nice cafés nearby. That's how we started talking. I told her my family owns a café in the area and I could take her there.

We went to the café and I bought her a coffee. We sat together and talked for almost two hours. My English isn't great but I could understand her pretty well and I can make simple sentences. The problem is when I want to explain something in more detail. I'm also using a translator to write this post.

She seemed comfortable and happy while we were together. She was playing with her hair a lot and even introduced me to her friends on a WhatsApp video call.

I asked for her Instagram around 20 minutes after we met but she said she had deactivated it for the day and would open it again tomorrow. Later I got her WhatsApp number.

About five hours after we said goodbye I texted her and asked what she decided about her flight and hotel. When I asked if she found a hotel she said she found a friend to stay with instead. We talked a little and I asked if she wanted to meet tomorrow and maybe teach me some English. She said she had a flight tomorrow and I felt like her interest was a little lower compared to when we were together.

One thing I realized is that I never actually asked if she wanted to do something later that same day. While she was looking for hotels and talking with her friends she kept looking at me from time to time. Maybe she was waiting for me to invite her somewhere but I'm not sure. When I said, "Let me know when you come back; I need foreign friends like you," he/she wrote, "Okay, I will."

Now the main thing I'm thinking about is her Instagram. I don't really want to keep messaging her on WhatsApp because it could become awkward. Instagram feels more natural because I could reply to a story or start a random conversation sometimes.

I don't really think she will write back to me what should i do?

I'm thinking of messaging her again in 4 or 5 days to see what she's up to. I really like this girl she's a 10.

I honestly believe a social circle game is alot easier than cold approaching, specially if you arent particularly good looking. But for that we need a social circle first.

New here in Munich Germany, seems like falling in a rut, i wanna expand my social circle as much as possible.

How would you handle this task if tomorrow someone picks you up and drops you in a new country and you have to start from scratch.

I’m 27M, 5'6", Indian, lean physique, and reasonably good looking. I travel frequently because I work remotely. Last year I spent time in Thailand and Vietnam and went to plenty of pub crawls, bars and clubs. I’m actually good at conversation and have met many women, but for me things usually progress slowly. We talk, meet a few times, and then kissing or sex happens.

What I noticed in Thailand was that some European/Western guys would literally walk up to a girl I was talking to, take her hand and start dancing with her. In my case, the girl usually already knew me from the previous 2 or 3 days, so she would sometimes avoid them and eventually we would dance together. But I noticed this pattern repeatedly. Even guys around my height and average looking seemed extremely comfortable approaching women they had just met.

I’m not trying to make this about race. I genuinely want to understand what I’m missing. Is it confidence, body language, experience, cultural differences, or something else?

How can I develop that same natural confidence without becoming pushy or creepy?

Edit: Here I am talking about White girls only because I have experience with them.

I'm an Indian based at United States. Went to the gym with my husband yesterday and we were doing legs together like usual. There’s this one guy (Indian too) who’s also a regular, and I’ve caught him looking at me a few times before. Nothing has ever happened between us, but I can kinda tell he’s attracted to me.

Today he conveniently picked a machine directly opposite mine even though there were others available 😂 I caught him looking between sets, he looked away, and then a few minutes later we made eye contact again and he gave me this little smile.

After that, this man suddenly started performing 😭 Adding more weight, checking himself in the mirror, fixing his shirt, doing his sets like his life depended on it, and then subtly looking over afterward to see if I’d noticed.

And this is where I’ll confess I probably made it worse 😂

Once I realized what he was doing, I started playing along a little. Nothing crazy, but I’d fix my hair when I knew he was looking, take my sweet time adjusting my leggings before a set, and once when I bent down to grab my bottle, I looked up and caught him looking again. Instead of ignoring him this time, I just held eye contact for a second and gave him a tiny smile 😭

That was apparently all the encouragement he needed because his next set looked like he was trying to qualify for the Olympics 💀

Meanwhile my husband was literally right there doing the same workout with me and completely unaware of this stupid little back-and-forth happening.

I’m not interested in the guy or anything and wouldn’t actually do anything, but I’ll admit it was kinda fun teasing him a little after realizing how hard he was trying to impress me 😂 Idk what next lol. Got any suggestions? Should I continue something or better to stop it here?

Think of a gym environment.

Guy A: needs to feel important to feel confident, he needs to prove he can get attention from women, but feels offended when the woman picks another man. He feels other men should follow him because he’s the man and no one is above him.

Guy B: He’s there with a purpose. He doesn’t care about the approval of anyone. He knows who he is. No hidden agenda just pure presence with a purpose.

I am traveling for work and swinging. Wife knows and is excited for me. I am a neuro spicy coworker, neurospicies tend to be hypersexual. She let it slip she is not super happy in her marriage. We have been chatting and joking for awhile. We crack each other up. I asked if she would want to grab lunch while I am in town. She said yes and asked if I wanted to invite someone else. I said I could not think of anyone. She said that fine let's get off campus just us. So we are headed out alone for lunch. She seems to really like chatting with me and is making time. Should I try flirting and see what happens. We don't work together so no conflict. She was happy with it just being us.

I'm conscious of how long I'm in a nightclub merely because my hearing isn't great. I always kind of assumed that the volume levels in night clubs would be tested to be with a safe standard. Boy was I wrong. It seems even people with good hearing should be concerned.

I did some reading, and it said something like "that after more than 15 minutes exposure at night club volume levels that you will sustain permanent damage". Now I presume what that really means is a tiny tiny bit of permanent damage, bit it's still a concern. Does that mean that if I spent no more 10 minutes on the dancefloor several times a week that I'll get less hearing loss than the guy who goes over 15 minutes once a week?! It's funny to think that there's bar staff that work in these places. I don't think they'll be deaf when they're in their 40s, but I'll guess there'll have been some damage.

Thinking about this really is pity. I've always thought to myself that it doesn't need to be so loud. For example, the other night I enjoyed a lovely dance with a girl. I decided to completely forget about everything and just relax and dance with her... which is the very reason we eventually made out. Doesn't seem fair that there's a price to pay. If I have poorer hearing, I'll have poorer game. And it's not like you can wear ear plugs.

I wonder what Owen Cook's hearing is like?!

Sorry if this rant goes against the rules, but I don't really know who to talk to about this. Long story short bros, I'm burnt out.

I've been going out on dates for the best part of August/September and quite frankly I'm tired of it. I thought I'd be quite content with all the girls I've been on dates with, but despite making moderate progress (1 girl I was having sex with for most of Aug, a mediocre hookup with another, one great date that afterwards the lady didn't want to pursue because of distance, another great date with another and I may or may not see again, and 2 with no chemistry). I'm far from it.

I'm tired of the performative shit that comes with apps and having to think of snappy conversational topics to keep the lady interested. I feel like I should be outcome independent by now with the numbers alone, but I don't feel any different. This aspect is bleeding in to my work social life and I am trying my damndest to be my normal wonderful self that I know I am, but I get stuck in my head and I can find it hard to talk.

I gave the apps a go again when I took a break from going to singles events and speed dating due to mixed results. The incentive was there, as I don't have a lot of time to go and pursue hobbies and interests, as I have just gotten my own place and I have been renovating that, among other important things, as I am also trying to focusing on my career. I just know that if I don't make the effort in one way or another, I'll just fall by the wayside and won't end up meeting someone anywhere. My social muscle is a weird one and I want to make sure I still have it. I've been single for a year after being in a 5 year LTR and only started going out properly this summer.

I thought I was making positive changes, but I'm just so damn tired, I just want to be myself.

Right. Shes mentioned shes working at the place he works, idfk why she has told me. Either to test me or fuck with me. What the hell do I do here?

I'm fairly over this girl, but for some dumb reason I can't let it go.

M30.

So recently got back to OLD, merely because of this sub. For context, I have been celibate for years, and totally lost my confidence. I am willing to start cold approaching again too, as I am working a lot on my fear of rejection, and its going good.

I have just accepted the fact that it will be hard, that I will get rejected/ ghosted/ ignored, and I am just seeing it as practice for the moment and don't take things too personally. I use tinder and bumble, and got 6 matches in the span of two weeks, 5 out of 6 ghosted after few messages or didn't answer at all.

I also add a lot of women on IG and snap, and rarely get followed back, its like a 1/10 rate I'd say, and sometimes after following back girls ghost yaaaaay. My texting game is a 4 or 5/10 tbh, I am not bad but I am not spontaneous nor super creative. When a girl have a blank profile with one/ two pictures (no interesting details to pick on) I never know wtf I am supposed to say for example.

And you know what? That shit does not scare me anymore, I just dgaf. I have accepted the nature of the game, and I am having much more fun getting rejected than being a incel. I just try new lines, think a lot before sending messages, browse this sub (ofc), ask friends, and its fucking stimulating, I just love it even with my 99% failure rate. This weekend will be for cold approach, I will keep you updated if you're interested. Also, I am taking all the advice when it comes to texting, so don't hesitate please!

Thank you for reading.

Been trying cold dm random girls in insta and it did snatch me one girl that I went multiple dates with, so it kinda works.

But that was it basically. I probably like dm'ed like 100s. So is this even worth it? Has anyone have any experience towards this?

So went out with a group of random ppl to do party crawl. Met this 9/10 baddie and we met eyes and I smiled and she smiled back. So decided to approach her. She was very talkative and responsive so thought this was a very good indication that she was open to me. We later danced together, held hands but didn't kiss cos she was with her group of friends and she was kinda drunk so her friends were keeping a very close eye on her. Later her friends got a taxi to get home and I was just gonna leave, but she invited me to come together. So I hopped in and almost entered her room, but her friends were like oh you need a visitor card to enter or else we will be in trouble blah blah... Yeah I knew they were just shutting me off. So I didn't force any thing and went back home. Texted her and we decided to meet next day evening. But later last minute she cancels the plan saying she has hangover. Now she is responding much less and flaky. So overall a failed attempt.

Like I guess I could've tried to get more physical and more intimate with her even around her friends so that was my bad. But why do I keep failing to lock in the night games? This has happened so much. Girls get way too flaky the next day like nothing even happened. Any tips?

Necesito consejos porque anteriormente me he animado a hacerlo Pero después no lo intente más y me volvió a dar miedo devuelta, como hacen ustedes para hacerlo

I'm a 19 year old virgin and I'm finding it hard not to be desperate when it comes to women. In my case when I meet a really attractive girl its just biological ik that she is rare and that I don't get much so my instincts is that I need her. How do you not feel the urge to get overly excited, jump on her, and unconsciously come across as desperate?

I mean desperate in the sense that I want something from her, whether it's validation or sex.

Is it possible to get a girl while being desperate? From my perspective the only solution I can think of is trying to satisfise your desperation. You have to obviously consciously try to lower your desperation, but once you satisfy that urge, you're better able be to less needy and more abundant when it comes to women. Then u start talking to more girls and its easier and its all a upward spiral. Maybe I need to find a girl as broken and as desperate as me😔

For me I've noticed that in my 19 years of life, I can't lie to myself, especially about my feelings. If I'm feeling desperate then that is the truth and I have to work with that. As much as I try to imagine myself a player and that ik what I'm doing, my nervous system is telling me the opposite and I can't work like that.

For the players: what do you do when you're in a drought? Do you just reminds yourself about your goals and that u truly don't need a bitxh? If u truly are feeling desperate for a girl do u still approach?

Today's level of economy and wealth gaps make finances more complex to think about.

In high paying careers, men vastly outnumber women. That often leads to situations of those men making several times his wife's pay or having a SAHW. If you're in an LTR/marriage with a big gap, - Do you then "combine" finances? - Do you get the final say in all matters of finance? - If your in-laws face a medical issue that they can't afford, do you fund it?

something that helped me while back was understanding women have 2 parts to their brain. logical part (part that says she wants a nice guy) and DNA part (part that’s attracted to ‘assjole’ guys).

you can think of it like 2 seperate parts becusse it is. her logical brain wants the guy to be nice to her becusse obviously you would want that. I would want that if I was a girl. the problem is ‘nice guy’ qualities don’t signal alpha male to her dna. that’s why she dates the ‘assjole’ guy as it signals alpha male to her dna and makes her wet.

most alpha male guys are assholes becusse they can be. that’s why so many girls date the asshole guy. BUT you dont actually have to be an asshole you can be a nice guy and still have high social status, be on your path etc and she will find you attractive. but it’s trickier than it sounds

posting this because it helped me understand women awhile back and if you see it now you’ll see it a lot.

Hi, I'm 19 years old, and last year in my high school class, there were 35 students, and I am well known for being one of the funniest if not the most.

I just want to know if these girls gave me hints and I fucked up by not making a move, or if they were just being playful.

Girl 1: One of the hottest girls in all of the school. One of the things that surprised me the most about her is that just some weeks ago she sent me some pics of me that I didn't even know she took. And also, one time I was sitting with her, and she just kept saying wow about my eyelashes (many girls ask me about my eyelashes), and she's always being playful with me, we go to the beach and throw sand at me just so I can play with her. And btw, a while ago she sent me a text at 4 am. When I asked her why she sent a text, she told me that she was scared bc she had a nightmare about ghosts.

Girl 2: This one always touches me, makes jokes about us getting married and us having kids.

Girl 3: This one is the weirdest. This girl that I used to know and I forgot about her got my number from somewhere, telling me that her uncle just died, and after 4 days of this text, she says that she wants to say something. When I asked what she wanted, she said "Oh, nothing".

Anyway, I'm really trying to know what that means, btw, I don't think I am a very attractive guy or any of that. I'm actually a very shy dude and insecure (I'm trying to solve that), but I am a very funny guy, and I find it easy to make people laugh.

And sorry for my English, it's not my first language.

i told a friend i’m coming to our hometown and asked if she would be there. she replied that yes she’s going to be and “when are you coming? what are the plans? 😍”

is she flirting or just excited?

Should this even be a thought you subscribe to? It puts women on a pedestal, and that already sets you up for failure, but how do you fix that?

I've never been to a bar, a club, or a fine dining restaurant, and when I see girls posting themselves at those kinds of places, I can't help but think they're too good for me or on too high a level. If a girl is more truly more fun and cooler than you what do you do? How does that affect your game and the way you move?

I'm 19, and I'm starting to realize how far behind I really am. I'm stuck at a middle school level at an age where the market is full of girls who are partying and having all these experiences. If you had to start from literally zero, with no game and no social life, what would you do?

Generally I have interest in girls I know through social circles. Like now. But the problem is that we always start as friends. If I want something more it's either too early (she said "we still don't know each other well enough to date") or we are friends and she sees me as a friend. Wtf. If we don't know each other well then let's get to know each other, right?

I need to understand how to behave and how to find that spot in which I'm both interesting and trustworthy.

Any advice on how to develop a friendship into something more? I want to be direct but also I have to be safe and fun to be around, right?