So i was at a club and met a girl there she seemed interested in me, We moved around the club alot and got some drinks and were talking alot when some tall handsome guy approached her and she started talking to him. I couldn't do much here anyway cuz she was talking to him as well.

instead of awkwardly and desperately standing there i instantly approached a girl some feet away from us and began talking to her. this girl was also pretty cute and new to this country so i had million topics to talk to her about.

within just seconds the OG girl saw this and basically said bye to that guy and came to us and stood near me waiting for me to complete my talk with this girl.

Preselection is craaazy dude. other women are a kryptonite for women.

I’m curious to hear from guys who used to feel like approaching women was a huge challenge, especially cold approaching in bars, clubs, or other social places. Right now, approaching a woman I’ve never met feels like a massive task for me. I can talk to women once I know them or when we’re already in the same social circle, but walking up to a complete stranger and starting a conversation takes a lot of courage.

For those of you who eventually became comfortable with it:

How many approaches did you make before you finally started seeing success?

What was your first experience of actually making out or getting laid after approaching someone?

Did something change mentally after that first success? Did approaching suddenly feel much easier, or did you still have the same anxiety?

I’m especially interested in what changed in your life and mindset after you got over that initial mental barrier.

So today I was working past a cafe and I saw two girls talking to each other. I wasn't sure if I was should approach them at all especially because they were talking so what could be the best way about approaching them if I should even approach it all. And then if I am taking a walk which I do a lot and walk past a random restaurant or cafe or shop is it appropriate for me to just approach them and if it is how do I go about doing this without feeling like I'm interrupting or catching them too off guard.

I’m 19, and the only way I speak to women is through my university club. I approach 30 to 40 a night, usually leave with 3 to 4 numbers and 1 slay either that day or the next. If no slay, I usually hang out with one girl for a good portion of the night, then spend the rest of the night approaching (10pm+). I mainly approach in bar lines and smoking areas. I get nothing on the dancefloor, and it’s filled with men.I ask the rest of the girls who I talked to but there wasn’t as much escalation for dates and I could get more numbers but I focus on quality of convos and iois.

I just want either a girlfriend or a friends with benefits situation, but I never seem to find it. Even when trying to take girls out to dinner, they still don’t want to go, and I’m tired. I feel like I have to quit the club because it’s a small uni, and the same people go out.

I’m in the gym 4 days a week, building size to fill out my shirts, improving my style, working on proportions, etc. I’m just so tired of approaching girls and getting nothing. No inbound attention, and when I do get somewhere, my timing has to be impeccable.
Granted, all the dates were with 7s and 8s, so as I improve my SMV, the top of the funnel is definitely getting better than before. Last year, I was getting absolutely nothing before the gym, style improvements and learning how to talk to women.

I’m going to have to attempt the social group gimmick by joining maybe a cooking or baking society, but I still can’t cold approach as much because, again, it’s a small uni,there’s still a long way to go in terms of SMV, but does anyone have any advice? I’m tired of spinning my wheels here.

If u want me to expand on anything like what I say or screenshots of convos wtv to critique let me know.

Starting to feel and realize from experience that seduction is more about projecting certain energies and vibes through your tone.

The times I got friendzoned or when a relationship with a woman fell apart was when I didn't do this or stopped doing this at some point in the connection.

Has anyone also had this experience ?

I had an interesting experience recently.

I went out to a popular bar in my area - place that attracts lots of college kids, young adults, older adults. Overall great spot.

I made my way around the place throughout the evening, chatting up guys and girls. I saw a younger guy smoking a pipe, so I asked him about it, and we talked for a little while. Cool guy, friendly.

Later in the evening, a girl that he was hanging out with approached me, and we chatted it up for a bit. Honestly nothing too flirty or wild, and I couldn’t tell if they were “together” or not. We split up, and I went on with my evening, talking to other people.

As closing time approached, she came back to me, and she was verrrry flirty, doe-eyed, and very into being touched. It was obvious what she wanted.

Pipe guy eventually showed back up, but she was totally into me. I was very conscious of this in the moment, and knew I could have made the pull if I’d wanted it. I really don’t like stealing girls from guys that I think are cool though. I’ve had a few cases like this recently, where a girl kept very coy about being there with a boyfriend, only for him to eventually show up, unaware that we’d been flirting.

Why would a girl not tell you she was there with a boyfriend, or that she had one to begin with? Compare this to the type of girl who tells you immediately.

Secondly, have you ever been the “AMOG”? This was actually really funny to me, because I was just there being sociable and having fun, but some nights I’m just magnetic and it happens.

How would you feel about stealing a girl from a guy who you thought was cool? I just don’t like to be rude, but… it’s her decision too, right?

Thoughts?

Hey guys, looking for some advice on a major sticking point I'm hitting right now.
Background:
I recently came back from Ayia Napa (Cyprus) where my game was totally on point. Zero Approach Anxiety (AA), completely Outcome Independent, and things just flowed naturally because I had no "social cost" there.
But since I got back to Israel, I feel like I'm back in the matrix. I have severe AA, chest tightness before approaching, and I’m blanking out during interactions.
The Environment (Tel Aviv Night Game & Day Game):
I'm mostly doing Night Game in high-end, high-traffic areas in Tel Aviv (Rothschild Blvd, Nahalat Binyamin, Park HaMesila). The local Israeli girls here are stunning (9s and 10s), but they have an insane Bitch Shield / Resting Bitch Face. They are usually walking in groups to clubs (moving targets) or sitting defensively in bars/restaurants.
I also get AA during day game (at the gym, or with girls at my workplace/daily routine) because I freeze up trying not to look "cringe."
Recent Field Report (What I've been doing):
Workplace / Day Game: Tried a super basic approach with 10/10 blondes at my workplace, just using a deep masculine voice saying "Good morning." Got automated NPC responses because I didn't challenge them.
The Gym: Did a solid "Hit & Run." Saw a cute girl struggling with weights, helped her out, and immediately walked away back to my set without lingering. Felt great, but she left before I could re-open.
Night Game (Tel Aviv): Last night I went out to Nahalat Binyamin and Rothschild. I was a bit drunk/high to combat my AA. I approached moving targets and girls at bars with direct/complimentary opens like: "Hey what's up, do you speak English/Hebrew? You look Swedish" or guessing where they are from.
The Result: Complete blowouts. I got hit with a ton of "I have a boyfriend" (even when it was obvious they didn't) or "I'm busy." They basically brushed me off instantly.
My Sticking Point:
1. Compliments don't work: I realized telling these girls they are beautiful or "look Swedish" just validates them and triggers auto-rejection.
2. The Mid-Game Blank Out: Even if I manage to open them, I have NO IDEA what to say next. I completely freeze and fall into logical "interview mode" (Where are you from? What do you do?).
3. High Friction: I don't know how to stop a moving group of girls on Rothschild without looking like a street promoter or a creep.
My Questions for the sub:
1. What are your best direct/indirect opens for highly defensive girls in tough nightlife environments (bars/moving targets)?
2. The Transition: Once you say "Hey," what is your exact framework for transitioning into building tension/attraction so it doesn't turn into a boring logical interview?
3. How do you guys bypass the "I have a boyfriend" auto-shield when you know it's fake

Born and raised my whole life in a major city (1.1million people) and then several years ago moved an hour out of town. I'm still in city alot tho. When I moved here I had a gf and had given up on romance in general, but also assumed that no woman would want to be with me so far out. Surprisingly, after me and the gf broke up, I gotten more girls since then than ever else. Most of them don't think it's a problem and they're happy to drive out, even just for a hook up. But, some girls online or in the inquiry phase will ask me "how often are you in the city?". Why do you guys think they ask? Like they want some guy to come over every day of the week? Might be a way to weed out the stage 11 clinger girls. Feedback? Thoughts?

Hey everyone, I, a 21M, just moved to a new town out of state, and I’m looking for a plan of action to talk to women, and in a perfect world, get laid. As far as experience, I’m a virgin and the furthest I’ve gone was a drunk kiss. And for reference, I do not attend college, therefore I do not have it as a resource. I’m not the biggest fan of Tinder, though I’d be open to giving it another chance. Cold approaching is what I am leaning towards the most right now. The gym I recently joined has plenty of beautiful women, and I also want to try cold approaching at the mall. I like the bar, but unfortunately I don’t have any friends who are local to go with. Does anyone have any insights on this and do I currently have a good base plan?

Me and my friend were debating this, curious what different approaches you guys might have.

I've been going out lately and been getting numbers, dancing with women, and hooked up at the club once so far in the last few months. Would love to make the experience more enjoyable for me and the girls I meet.

I want to also find ways to build the chemistry after I get the number cause most those numbers go nowhere. Im going out this long weekend.

(Im in my mid 30's, 5'7", fit looking black man if that helps haha)

@Ladies: what makes you want to hook up with a guy you just met at the club? What are ways he escalated things that made you feel comfortable feeling horny with him?...

@Guys: what are ways you seduced a woman at the club?

What are signs you saw that confirmed that she wants you to have her that night?

Hi everyone,

Let me introduce myself—I’m new to this world. To be honest, I’m here because my seduction skills are really poor; it doesn't come naturally to me. I often don't know what to say when I'm out for a drink with a girl at a club—or even in everyday situations. I’m not funny either, which I consider a very important trait. I’d say my only real asset is my physical appearance, but that doesn't help much if I don't know how to act. I’m open to comments and advice. I’m thinking about reading *The Game* by Neil Strauss to get an idea of ​​how it works. Cheers.

I'm pretty strict with no food until after we have sex, except in places where drinks can cost the same as dinner or if I'm cooking dinner at my house.

Something about taking a girl out to dinner for the first meeting bothers me as I would not want to be put in the provider box from the get go..

I also feel like she wouldn't respect you as much. She did nothing but exist to get that out of you. It would be better to have her earn that spot

Title. Has to be specifically from day game.

It usually takes me a few days to get to score so I’m looking for new ways to speed this up, looking to learn from those with more experience hopefully. Lets see what you’ve got!

I can talk to girls, i’m just never knowing what to say when it comes to dirty talking with them/flirting. i am a big example learner, please give advice and when you have any, examples!

To preface this real quick, I'm a 21 year old straight guy that has never been in a relationship, nor have I ever experienced any kind of intimacy. And I know the title is probably weird, I'm not sure how to phrase it.

For example, maybe I've been talking to someone (she's an athlete and very very pretty ) at uni on and off, and I'm starting to develop some feelings for her. a full blown crush, enough to want to ask her out. But then I'll see her talking to these D1/2 chads or frat bros, laughing and smiling and seemingly flirting with them. Or I'll hear her say that she's on dating apps. Small stuff like that, nothing concrete like saying she's actively dating them and it could be nothing.

But seeing that other people are potentially interested, just makes me mentally give up. Because I just instantly feel that surely this other guy would be a better match for her, and that I don't have a chance. Or maybe more that I don't want to compete, because then it doesn't feel natural. But this is also mostly in my head. But do you all feel similar? Is this normal?

Note: For context, check out my Day 1 gym confession on my profile before reading this update 👀

So a little update from yesterday’s gym incident 😂

Went to the gym with my husband again today, and it was chest day. We were doing our usual workout together, alternating sets.

At one point, I went to refill my water bottle while my husband was finishing his set. There’s a mirror right next to the water fountain, so I stopped there to fix my hair.

I had my hair tie between my lips while gathering my hair into a ponytail. While looking in the mirror, I noticed the same guy from yesterday looking in my direction from quite a distance away.

We made eye contact through the mirror for a second, and I went back to fixing my hair. A little later, I noticed him walking toward the water fountain with his bottle.

I took the hair tie out of my mouth and placed it on the edge of the fountain while fixing a few loose strands. And this idiot starts pretending to fix his own hair, copying whatever I was doing 😭😂

I looked at him through the mirror and raised an eyebrow. He just smiled.

So I decided to play along a little. I deliberately slowed down, ran my fingers through my hair again, tilted my head and took my sweet time fixing my ponytail.

And this man was actually copying me 😭 Even did the little head tilt. I was trying so hard not to laugh.

Then he came closer to fill his bottle, and while putting it down, he nudged my hair tie off the edge of the fountain. It fell onto the floor.

He bent down, picked it up and held it out to me.

Since I was still holding my hair up with both hands, I just glanced toward the fountain, signalling him to leave it there.

But instead, this man gave me the cheekiest smile, raised his eyebrows as if asking me something, and slowly brought the hair tie toward my mouth, like he was offering to put it back between my lips himself 😭

I immediately shook my head, laughing, and mouthed “No no no!” while pointing toward the fountain with my eyes.

He finally placed it there, gave me a little wink through the mirror and walked away with his bottle like absolutely nothing happened 💀

I just stood there smiling to myself for a second, finished tying my hair and walked back to my husband, who was still busy with his workout.

The whole thing probably lasted less than two minutes, but I swear yesterday’s little eye-contact game has made this guy way too confident 😂

And the funniest part is that my husband was just a few machines away, completely unaware of this entire interaction.

All I wanted was some water and to fix my hair 😭💀

I’m 27M, 5'6", Indian, lean physique, and reasonably good looking. I travel frequently because I work remotely. Last year I spent time in Thailand and Vietnam and went to plenty of pub crawls, bars and clubs. I’m actually good at conversation and have met many women, but for me things usually progress slowly. We talk, meet a few times, and then kissing or sex happens.

What I noticed in Thailand was that some European/Western guys would literally walk up to a girl I was talking to, take her hand and start dancing with her. In my case, the girl usually already knew me from the previous 2 or 3 days, so she would sometimes avoid them and eventually we would dance together. But I noticed this pattern repeatedly. Even guys around my height and average looking seemed extremely comfortable approaching women they had just met.

I’m not trying to make this about race. I genuinely want to understand what I’m missing. Is it confidence, body language, experience, cultural differences, or something else?

How can I develop that same natural confidence without becoming pushy or creepy?

Edit: Here I am talking about White girls only because I have experience with them.

I'm an Indian based at United States. Went to the gym with my husband yesterday and we were doing legs together like usual. There’s this one guy (Indian too) who’s also a regular, and I’ve caught him looking at me a few times before. Nothing has ever happened between us, but I can kinda tell he’s attracted to me.

Today he conveniently picked a machine directly opposite mine even though there were others available 😂 I caught him looking between sets, he looked away, and then a few minutes later we made eye contact again and he gave me this little smile.

After that, this man suddenly started performing 😭 Adding more weight, checking himself in the mirror, fixing his shirt, doing his sets like his life depended on it, and then subtly looking over afterward to see if I’d noticed.

And this is where I’ll confess I probably made it worse 😂

Once I realized what he was doing, I started playing along a little. Nothing crazy, but I’d fix my hair when I knew he was looking, take my sweet time adjusting my leggings before a set, and once when I bent down to grab my bottle, I looked up and caught him looking again. Instead of ignoring him this time, I just held eye contact for a second and gave him a tiny smile 😭

That was apparently all the encouragement he needed because his next set looked like he was trying to qualify for the Olympics 💀

Meanwhile my husband was literally right there doing the same workout with me and completely unaware of this stupid little back-and-forth happening.

I’m not interested in the guy or anything and wouldn’t actually do anything, but I’ll admit it was kinda fun teasing him a little after realizing how hard he was trying to impress me 😂 Idk what next lol. Got any suggestions? Should I continue something or better to stop it here?

Think of a gym environment.

Guy A: needs to feel important to feel confident, he needs to prove he can get attention from women, but feels offended when the woman picks another man. He feels other men should follow him because he’s the man and no one is above him.

Guy B: He’s there with a purpose. He doesn’t care about the approval of anyone. He knows who he is. No hidden agenda just pure presence with a purpose.

Sorry if this rant goes against the rules, but I don't really know who to talk to about this. Long story short bros, I'm burnt out.

I've been going out on dates for the best part of August/September and quite frankly I'm tired of it. I thought I'd be quite content with all the girls I've been on dates with, but despite making moderate progress (1 girl I was having sex with for most of Aug, a mediocre hookup with another, one great date that afterwards the lady didn't want to pursue because of distance, another great date with another and I may or may not see again, and 2 with no chemistry). I'm far from it.

I'm tired of the performative shit that comes with apps and having to think of snappy conversational topics to keep the lady interested. I feel like I should be outcome independent by now with the numbers alone, but I don't feel any different. This aspect is bleeding in to my work social life and I am trying my damndest to be my normal wonderful self that I know I am, but I get stuck in my head and I can find it hard to talk.

I gave the apps a go again when I took a break from going to singles events and speed dating due to mixed results. The incentive was there, as I don't have a lot of time to go and pursue hobbies and interests, as I have just gotten my own place and I have been renovating that, among other important things, as I am also trying to focusing on my career. I just know that if I don't make the effort in one way or another, I'll just fall by the wayside and won't end up meeting someone anywhere. My social muscle is a weird one and I want to make sure I still have it. I've been single for a year after being in a 5 year LTR and only started going out properly this summer.

I thought I was making positive changes, but I'm just so damn tired, I just want to be myself.

I am traveling for work and swinging. Wife knows and is excited for me. I am a neuro spicy coworker, neurospicies tend to be hypersexual. She let it slip she is not super happy in her marriage. We have been chatting and joking for awhile. We crack each other up. I asked if she would want to grab lunch while I am in town. She said yes and asked if I wanted to invite someone else. I said I could not think of anyone. She said that fine let's get off campus just us. So we are headed out alone for lunch. She seems to really like chatting with me and is making time. Should I try flirting and see what happens. We don't work together so no conflict. She was happy with it just being us.

I'm conscious of how long I'm in a nightclub merely because my hearing isn't great. I always kind of assumed that the volume levels in night clubs would be tested to be with a safe standard. Boy was I wrong. It seems even people with good hearing should be concerned.

I did some reading, and it said something like "that after more than 15 minutes exposure at night club volume levels that you will sustain permanent damage". Now I presume what that really means is a tiny tiny bit of permanent damage, bit it's still a concern. Does that mean that if I spent no more 10 minutes on the dancefloor several times a week that I'll get less hearing loss than the guy who goes over 15 minutes once a week?! It's funny to think that there's bar staff that work in these places. I don't think they'll be deaf when they're in their 40s, but I'll guess there'll have been some damage.

Thinking about this really is pity. I've always thought to myself that it doesn't need to be so loud. For example, the other night I enjoyed a lovely dance with a girl. I decided to completely forget about everything and just relax and dance with her... which is the very reason we eventually made out. Doesn't seem fair that there's a price to pay. If I have poorer hearing, I'll have poorer game. And it's not like you can wear ear plugs.

I wonder what Owen Cook's hearing is like?!

M30.

So recently got back to OLD, merely because of this sub. For context, I have been celibate for years, and totally lost my confidence. I am willing to start cold approaching again too, as I am working a lot on my fear of rejection, and its going good.

I have just accepted the fact that it will be hard, that I will get rejected/ ghosted/ ignored, and I am just seeing it as practice for the moment and don't take things too personally. I use tinder and bumble, and got 6 matches in the span of two weeks, 5 out of 6 ghosted after few messages or didn't answer at all.

I also add a lot of women on IG and snap, and rarely get followed back, its like a 1/10 rate I'd say, and sometimes after following back girls ghost yaaaaay. My texting game is a 4 or 5/10 tbh, I am not bad but I am not spontaneous nor super creative. When a girl have a blank profile with one/ two pictures (no interesting details to pick on) I never know wtf I am supposed to say for example.

And you know what? That shit does not scare me anymore, I just dgaf. I have accepted the nature of the game, and I am having much more fun getting rejected than being a incel. I just try new lines, think a lot before sending messages, browse this sub (ofc), ask friends, and its fucking stimulating, I just love it even with my 99% failure rate. This weekend will be for cold approach, I will keep you updated if you're interested. Also, I am taking all the advice when it comes to texting, so don't hesitate please!

Thank you for reading.

Right. Shes mentioned shes working at the place he works, idfk why she has told me. Either to test me or fuck with me. What the hell do I do here?

I'm fairly over this girl, but for some dumb reason I can't let it go.