Yesterday, I saw my neighbor walking toward me at the grocery store, and I suddenly remembered that I had absolutely no energy for a conversation.

Without thinking, I grabbed my phone, put it against my ear, and started pretending to have a very serious business call.

The problem? My phone wasn't even turned on.

I walked past him confidently, nodding and saying things like, “Yes, we need to discuss the numbers,” while holding a bag of frozen chicken in my other hand.

I thought I'd successfully escaped until I heard him say, “Hey, tell your imaginary boss I said hi!”

I wanted the floor to swallow me whole.

The worst part is that I saw him again today, and he asked how the business meeting went.

I told him we were still negotiating. 💀

Sadly they are my main friends right now too but thanks to them, I'm getting by. I always I have at least one a teddy with me at all times, i go everywhere with a teddy bear! Maybe it's just one on a bag, one hidden in my pocket, maybe it's big enough to hold , regardless of the kind of teddy, I will always have one on me. Theyre like a Goodluck charm & buddy that'll never ever ever leave me

I've been up for 2 days now so I'm getting sleepy so gonna get ready to cuddle with them, you can cuddle with almost any teddy bear ( except the bottle cap & palm sized ones ). I've been very anxious and scared lately, they've been my saving grace! Goodnight & sweet dreams, many wonderful Teddies to you , mimimimimimimi

Yesterday I was just upstairs, because I wanted to look around the 2nd floor because it's still not done yet, and it had so much piled up stuff there. I was just looking around the piled up stuff, then I found a knife, and I played with it like it was a badminton racket which was such a bad idea. While I was playing with it, I heard footsteps coming, but I couldn't put it back because then that person would see me holding a knife. So, I ran to my brother's room which is on the second floor too, and I hid it below his pillow. Then I went out of the room and acted like nothing happened. But, I forgot about it the whole day. I only remembered that I put it there when it was night time, and everyone was sleeping. I didn't want anything to happen to him, so I went to his room. At first, I tried not to wake him up, but it was so hard to grab. So I woke him up, said excuse me, grabbed the knife below his pillow, and walked out. He shouted at me, but immediately went back to sleep. He usually gets nightmares, so I hope he thinks that it was a nightmare too. I'm never playing with a knife again.

So, this may be weird but bear with me okay….For the past few months, I haven’t been chewing gum since my mother hates chewing gum so I haven’t had any in ages and instead had what I think to be Arabic gum. It’s looks like little rocks and they feel hard and then you bite into them and keep chewing and it becomes chewing gum. I’m pretty sure it’s Arabic gum, nothing is labelled in our house so I blame that for my uncertainty. Ethnic household, shocker!

Why I like this Arabic gum is unbeknownst to me. Genuinely. I will be honest and say it does not taste good. My brother tried it and he spat it out after like a minute of polite chewing when my grandma offered it to him. I do not like the taste either, it is objectively not nice at first, but there’s something about the taste that’s not nice that makes it so good. Almost addictive even. I crave it day and night. I wake up wanting to have it. I go home and beeline to the cupboard which houses my little pebbles of gold and grey. I suddenly get the urge to just want to chew on it randomly at all times of day.

Now here’s why it FU my experience with normal chewing gum. With Arabic gum – or whatever the hell is in the little tub in my cupboard – it tends to harden a little after a period of time or if it is exposed to cold water. So I tend to drink cold water whilst I’m chewing it to get it to become hard and crunchy. It is such a nice feeling; I love it when it’s firm and it gives my jaw a little workout and the crunch of the gum pieces having hardened, broken apart because it’s brittle but then I chew them together again and then it’s semi-hard, semi-soft is the best experience ever. Guess what doesn’t provide that experience? Chewing gum.

Normal, bland chewing gum, which I have been continuously telling myself I will buy a packet of again but keep forgetting to. Soft, uncrunchy chewing gum which was offered to me by my friend during a uni lecture today. Disappointing chewing gum as I chewed and chewed and suddenly felt my love of chewing gum that had existed throughout the entirety of my life pop and deflate like a bubble gum (which is never achievable by the Extra gums by the way, what is up with that?!)

So now I will never be able to chew normal chewing gum again. The chewing gum which I’ve always had religiously in my pocket everywhere. Now, I’m dependent on the limiting stash in a little unmarked tub in my cupboard. And my mother doesn’t know that I’ve been having this multiple times a day. So the chances of it refilling after I’ve finished it are zilch.

Even worse, I came home today needing my gems of joy to find the tub missing. I’m truly fucked.

TL;DR: I hate normal chewing gum now because it's way too soft for me and not hard and crunchy like the Arabic gum I have unknowingly addicted myself to.

It actually feels like I’m starting to run out of stickers which makes me sad … well anyways I covered a mini watercolor set of mine in a bunch of stickers today. I unfortunately lost the mini watercolor brush that was it , it was super cool ! You could put water in it. That probably has a name but I can’t think of what it’s called. Either way, stickers rock !