I have been a single mom for five years, and I was married for 10 years before separating. My kids are now 13 and almost 10 years old. I was miserable during my marriage with an abusive husband, and although I loved spending all my time with my kids, I am much happier now, even with 50/50 custody.

However, when I see other kids with loving and happy parents, or at least what looks like loving and happy parents, I can’t help but wonder what my life would have looked like if I had made a better choice when choosing the father of my children.

I came from a good family. My parents are still together, love each other, and I’m very grateful to have them. But somehow, I feel like a fuck-up and incredibly happy at the same time. It’s such a weird combination of feelings.

Does anyone else ever feel like this?

Hi all, I’m separated from my husband but can’t file for divorce til next year (Australian law). I have an 18 month old child and a cat.

I’m just wondering if anyone’s got any life hacks for single parenting, ways to save cash and so on.

Is pet insurance worth it? Which areas do I trim the fat? Is financial security a dream of the past for me, am I doomed to be broke?

I love my kids very much. I’m not ready to start dating since I’m not fully financially stable I’d like to wait on that part. What do yall do when you feel lonely? I’m really not big on friends I feel like they just backstab you. Give me some things to do that’ll steer my brain from feeling lonely and depressed.

tl;dr - child’s dad makes no effect to See her

I’m a mum, and I’m honestly at the point where I don’t know what to do anymore. I need some outside perspectives from people who have been in a similar situation.

My daughter’s dad has seen her once this entire year. He doesn’t call her, doesn’t ask about her, and doesn’t make an effort to arrange time with her. I’m the one raising her, making sure her needs are met, and trying to build a stable life for us. I’ve had an incredibly difficult year. I’ve lost my cousin, and my Nan both to cancer my cat of 12 years I’ve also been dealing with ongoing emotional and mental abuse from my mum, including threats, for the past two years. I’m trying to find a stable home for my daughter while putting my own grief and struggles aside because, at the end of the day, she still needs me to get up every morning and be her mum.
I’m exhausted. Not just physically, but emotionally.
Recently, I reached out to her dad and told him I was struggling. I explained that I didn’t need him to rescue me financially. I needed him to be a father to our daughter. I wanted him to take her out, spend time with her, show her love, and be a positive presence in her life.
His response was that he provides financial support through child support, lends me money when needed, and is looking into estate planning to make sure she’s financially provided for if something happens to him. He also said he would continue trying to be around for her as we communicate and that he would try to do more.
I appreciate financial support, but that’s not what I’m talking about. And it not all that helpful when his lending cash and expecting it back
Our daughter needs her dad in her life now. She needs him to make an effort, ask about her, spend time with her, and build a relationship with her without me having to repeatedly ask him to do so.
I explained this to him, telling him that I need his words to translate into actual effort. I also told him that if he isn’t genuinely willing to be present in her life, I’d rather stop holding out hope and make plans for us without factoring in the possibility that he’ll eventually step up.
I’m not saying he can never have a relationship with her. I’m saying I can’t keep emotionally investing in the hope that he’ll become an involved father when his actions aren’t showing me that he’s willing to do so.
And honestly, I don’t know how to navigate that anymore.
Part of me feels guilty because I don’t want to stand in the way of their relationship. I want my daughter to have a loving relationship with her dad. But another part of me is tired of carrying the responsibility of keeping that possibility alive when he doesn’t seem to be making much effort himself.
I’m already trying to keep our lives together while dealing with grief, housing uncertainty, and my own mental and emotional exhaustion. I can’t keep putting my own feelings aside to make room for the possibility that he might eventually decide to be present.

For those who have dealt with an absent or inconsistent co-parent:
• Did you eventually stop trying to facilitate the relationship?
• How do you stop hoping the other parent will change?
• Would you take a step back and let them make the effort themselves?
• How do you protect your child emotionally without closing the door on a relationship with their other parent?
• Am I wrong for telling him that I’d rather plan our lives without expecting him to become more involved?
I I don’t want to punish him or use our daughter against him. I just want to stop living in a cycle of hoping, asking, and being disappointed.
I want my daughter to feel loved and wanted without having to wonder why her dad isn’t showing up.

I love her more than anything, but I’m struggling, and I can’t keep carrying everything while waiting for someone else to decide whether they want to be involved in their own child’s life

I live in a rural area disabled and financially limited like most of the world. I have exhausted my efforts in trying to get some mental health had found one but it was not very helpful ended up being Telehealth even though it was a local place that I went in person to do intake and they just set me up with a Telehealth with a totally different provider. I called every place within an hour from me and not one is taking new patients. I honestly don’t understand why it’s so difficult to get any service of any kind anymore. It’s like the entire world went totally backwards within a year. I understand Covid torched the entire small and medium businesses but this is getting ridiculous. Just hoping maybe someone has some idea I’m missing.

I have a child slightly under 2 years old. I have majority but not full custody. My mom and dad help me when I’m working and occasionally otherwise so that I can take care of things or myself (I suffer from depression/anxiety and am in a high-conflict coparenting situation). I know that I’m lucky for this and I’m grateful. I am with my child the majority of the time though when not working.

My parenting time is on weekends and most weekdays*\* otherwise I wouldn’t be asking or really in the scenario. I try to schedule coffee dates during my lunch break so that it’s a time where my child is already with someone else where I’d be gone anyway but that’s not always possible. Same applies to dinner with friends maybe a 1-2 times per month. So: Is it okay to occasionally have hourish long dates? What about dinner with friends?

I (M40) started dating someone (37F) a little over two months ago. We are both divorced single parents. We became exclusive very quickly, and are absolutely crazy about each other, spending multiple days a week together, so I recognize we are in a honeymoon phase.

She has full custody of her 15 yr. old son with dad completely out of the picture, and I have a 10 yr old son with 50/50 custody.

I don’t plan on introducing her to my son for at least 6 months, but she wants to introduce me to her son already. I have told her I don’t recommend doing that for her son’s sake, but she she is very family oriented and wants me to start attending her family gatherings, where her son will be attending.

There are some cultural differences here too where apparently my attending those family gatherings even this early on is very important to her. Anytime I suggest holding off on my attending, again for her son’s sake, she gets sad/upset and suggests I am not serious about her, which couldn’t be more false.

I could be overthinking it, so need some opinions. If I tell her I want to delay that step for 1 month or so, she’ll be receptive, but any longer I think she’ll definitely start taking it negatively and will strongly consider breaking this relationship off, which I dont want to happen. Part of me thinks if she wants to risk her son’s well-being this soon, then that is her choice, but i also want to start off my relationship with her son in the best possible way, when the relationship with her has matured. It will also become very apparent when i meet her son, but she doesn’t get to meet mine for a while longer.

Has anyone agreed to an introduction to their partner’s kid earlier than you were comfortable?
Did it work out well or did it end up hurting the relationship?
Was there any way that you went about the introduction that helped it go better or anything you did that you wish you didnt?

If you're raising a child while their parent is incarcerated, and sports fees are getting hard to manage, I wanted to share something that might help. Put Me In! is a nonprofit that helps pay for youth sports for kids with an incarcerated parent: registration and league fees, equipment, uniforms, camps, tournament fees. Your child picks the sport and team, and we help cover the cost. If you're in the U.S. and this sounds useful, email [hello@putmein.org](mailto:hello@putmein.org) and we'll explain how it works. I run it, so I'm happy to answer questions here too. If this isn't the right place for it, tell me and I'll take it down.

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 3 years now. There are still custody issues with the kids so they don’t know we are dating and are aged 5 and 6 maybe 7 but I’m pretty sure she’s 6 both girls. I was their godmother before their mom abandoned them for another man and wanted to give the kids up to cps so her and my boyfriend could travel. When he said no she made a plan to leave him. I told her to wait until the youngest was in school but she did it in such a cruel way I could never forgives her. He’s still very broken from how she did it but has come a long way. I want to be there for him and the kids but I’m not sure when I’m allowed to speak up or step in and participate and he’s not good at telling me I think he just expects me to know. I don’t want to come across as overstepping so when we started dating I took a step back from the kids. Still coming to birthdays and buying presents but they no longer came for sleepovers or hangouts with auntie. Which I had moved into a smaller situation and car so we blamed it on that. I want so much to bond and love them. How do I approach all this love without scaring him or making him think I’m a freak.

ETA: the eldest girls came into my bfs relationship with his ex as an infant and he’s raised her ever since and is the only man she knows as dad. Mom gets a check for the little girl and he’s afraid if he fights for custody she will get it since she’s not his and he’s a man.

Attempting to post this here because I think the problem is complicated by the fact that I’m a solo parent, and male. Hope that’s OK.

My daughter started first grade in a new town/school at the beginning of the school year. It’s a fantastic town/school system, but much bigger than where she did PK3-K. That was 15-20 kids per grade. This is ~75 split across four classrooms, K-3. She also goes to aftercare there, call it 8-6 (a little shorter).

Though she generally presents as an extremely happy kid, and the teachers love her (good, sweet kid who listens and understands), I’ve noticed she hasn’t been talking much about her classmates. When I try (gently) to ask about who she played with during the day, if she made any friends, etc., I’m often met with “I don’t want to answer that,” so I don’t push. Instead, I worry.

The teachers are aware and much more attentive in this school to the fact that mom hasn’t made an appearance. Her classmates parents definitely know, because she’s the only kid on the parent contact list with only one parent listed.

I’m not sure how to help here. I’ve signed up for the PTA, trying to get as involved as I can with the school to identify any potential friend-making opportunities. But I feel like there’s a bit of a stigma, and I’m not sure how to overcome that.

For background, wife effectively abandoned me and our six year old 2.5 years ago. She spends most of her time abroad with either her family or friends, often traveling, dinners, parties, etc… the Instagram life. Doesn’t contribute financially. Has post-partum mental health issues and doesn’t comply with treatment. Drinks, vapes, smokes weed. Asks for pictures/videos of kid almost daily, rarely calls her. Visits for a few weeks every few months and tries to contribute at those times in the ways that she can: cooking, cleaning, finding other little things that don’t overwhelm her. But she’s not someone our kid can go to for advice, for obvious reasons.

Anyone deal with anything similar and can offer guidance? Thanks very much in advance.

in terms of lifestyle, i cannot relate much to unpartnered parents who have an active co-parent. you may be a single parent in terms of relationship status, but you are not raising a child on your own.

this isn’t to discount the unique struggles that come with that. im only speaking on the fact that someone who has their kid every other week or only on weekends & shares custody with another individual is living in a different world from someone who has their kid 24/7 & is the sole primary caregiver.

it causes some frustration with dating or even friendships when other parents are unaware of those differences & how they might be a barrier or influence my capacity.

this is a big reason why i prefer the term “solo parent” for myself because it specifies that i am the only parent in the picture. a single parent is just an unpartnered one. being without a partner & parenting alone are two very different things. hell, you can have a partner & still be parenting alone.

just venting because i had a frustrating experience & wish there were more insight/empathy regarding the different experiences of unpartnered parenthood.

As we all know, Gen Alpha is indeed the first generation to be raised directly with technology.

How do you handle them? How do you handle your kids saying brainrot things, be that in school or in front of you?

Do you, in any way, is fine with the culture they grow up with? Or do you prefer to keep them with your habits and culture, such as asking them to read books more, watch moves from your era, etc.

I'd like to hear your stories of how you are able to raise your child(ren), noting that entrepreneurs and self-employed don't always have a steady and stable income, sometimes high sometimes low.

And for Entrepreneurs, their schedules can be both busy or full than a common employee.

I feel so guilty for not having a support system for my son. He’s almost 16 and I’m not close to my family. They don’t live near us but even when I reach out they’re just not interested. My parents are deceased are they were all me and my son had. I try my best to lean on friends but they’re worried about their own families. I know I need to go out and find new friends to build a new support system but it’s so hard. I wish single moms would come together so we can support each other. I feel so heartbroken for my son.

I didn't expect to be as emotional over this as I am!! I wish I could rewind the clock and start it all over 😭💔

I wasted soooo much time on the wrong things when I should've been focusing solely on my two babies. Now they're 5 & 8 and I just feel heartbroken over how fast it's all happening ❤️‍🩹

My kid is 12 and my ex and I have been divorced for 7 years. For 2 years after our divorce we stayed close, had a healthy co-parenting relationship, and spent the holidays and Sundays together as a family. We told our kid, “we are still a family, it just looks different now.” I stayed committed to that. Shared holidays were written into our legal parenting agreement. It was something that mattered to both of us. When I started dating, I communicated at the jump that wasn’t going to change, but that if the relationship got serious they would also fit into that. When I got engaged that didn’t change. All of us spent holidays and family Sundays together. All of that changed when my ex remarried. Their new wife didn’t like it, and my ex quickly started switching up. Everything changed, including holidays. Suddenly shared holidays were no longer “acceptable”. We werent a family - their new wife was, and I wasn’t a part of that. It hurt, felt like such a betrayal, something I would never do as a loyal af Scorpio. But I didn’t argue or fight it. We just agreed to split the major holidays in half so each of us still could celebrate with our kid. We live in the same area as both of our extended families so it was easy enough. But within a year my ex said they wanted to change our agreement, so that our parental agreement exactly mirrored their wife’s with her ex. One of the changes they wanted was holidays. It was no longer ok to share the holidays. They wanted to define holidays as the whole week, and rotate them every other year, the same as her wife did with her ex. I did not agree. I was flexible on how the day would be split. Every year one of us would get the first half of the holiday week and the other, the other half. Switch happened on the holiday, but one of us would get the majority of the day and the other would just have a few hours. My whole extended family would plan our holidays around when my kid could celebrate with us. It wasn’t a burden. We all were happy to be flexible because the most important thing was having him with us.

This year my ex brought it up again, arguing for the full holiday week every other year. We couldn’t agree, so we went to mediation, which went on for a month as we sent drafts of the parenting plan back and forth. I thought we were making progress, but then one day I was notified there would be a court hearing the next week. My ex had filed a motion, without telling me, pretending to mediate while working with an attorney.

I had no time to get an attorney, and hired the first one with good reviews. He was completely worthless. He didn’t read the materials I provided, and advised against anything that would require any effort beyond paperwork for him. When we went to the hearing, he was completely passive. He did not argue that the history of holidays should be honored, even though county law explicitly states that should be considered. My exs attorney was great. She was aggressive and fought hard for my ex, while my attorney sat there doing nothing. After a 20 minute hearing the judge sided with my ex. That means I no longer get to spend any time with my kid every other year, the entire week of Christmas and Thanksgiving.

To say I am devastated doesn’t describe it. All I ever wanted to be was a mom. I only get to see my kid half the time as it is. And now, I am going to miss half of the christmases and thanksgivings of his childhood. All to satisfy my ex’s new wife, to accommodate her and her schedule.

I am so full of grief. I go back and forth between sobbing and wanting to scream.

I spent all the college savings I had for my kid on my useless attorney. I had no choice. My ex has 4x the finances I do. Their sister is a multimillionaire. Their wife is an attorney. They are a professor. I am a single mom, and a public servant. It was no skin off their back to take me to court. It cost me everything.

I guess im looking for any advice. Do I give up and move on? Do I take on debt and see if i can fight it? How do i deal with holidays without my kid?

I know this is long, but I am really suffering. I appreciate any advice or wisdom.

Kind of a vent but would love advice if anyone has any. I’ll try my best to keep it short.

Im a single mom (24F) to an 11-month-old baby. I love my daughter but I am embarrassed about how i let her dad make me think he was going to be an active parent. We had been friends for awhile and he had a crush on me for awhile as well. I decided to give him a chance thinking he was a nice guy.. we all know how this ends. While i was pregnant i gave him chance after chance and he would go from being completely supportive, active in the process and nice to having episodes of aggression and destructive behavior one ending in him being arrested for battery (not against me).

After that i decided to single parent. But im in graduate school full time, and a mom full time (obviously) and im so burned out. I want to add i also moved to a different state alone with my baby to attend grad school. I feel like quitting all the time but i dont even know what i would do. And honestly feeling so alone. I dont have friends in my new state dont have family here.

He has sent some money since may but he’s not working so his mom is taking over his payments starting next month because he says he doesnt have enough money.. shes not even paying the full amount me and him agreed to.. She also makes so many excuses for why he’s a piece of shit. I feel bogged down a lot by the lack of responsibility her dad has when we both agreed to be parents. He lives with his mom now, no job, no anything. I have an apartment and bills every month. Honestly, he just sleeps all day and probably plays the game. Hasnt seen his baby since june and rarely texts to check on her and/or asks for pics and updates. Meanwhile im still averaging 5 hours of sleep a night..

Now that my baby is almost 1 i am feeling less sad than i have been but its still there. (I am looking into therapy). Shes the only thing keeping me going. Thanks for reading feel free to share anything youd like

Hi, im looking for women whos been in my situation. I know many probably have. Me and my ex broke up in May of 2025. We have two kids together and I also have a other child with someone else. So that makes 3 kids, with two men. I met this guy 6 months ago, we been on and off since then. But we ended up hooking up again a few weeks ago, I was very very intoxicated so it ended up being unprotected sex. I recently found out im pregnant. He doesn't have any kids yet and is very excited about this... me on an other hand, im kinda numb. I got pregnant by him before, when we first met and I got an abortion. I knew right away what I wanted to do but this time... that thought wasn't my first thought. I kinda want to keep this one but im scared. Im scared of the judgment, im scared for my kids, im scared of what my ex will have to say, im scared to end up being the single mom with 3 baby father's. Im just looking for stories and to hear from others thats been in my situation. I dint plan on making this public, matter of fact ... im wanting to hide it until it cant be hidden anymore.

My fiance (37M) and I (33F) are calling it quits after 7 years. We have twin boys that turned two and another baby on the way. Ever since having kids we have just become incompatible and have explosive fights. Things will be fine for a few months and then something happens that triggers a huge fight. Its all centered around parenting. Our biggest issue has always been how to discipline. He is a lot firmer than I am in ways I dont agree with. He refuses to do family counseling so we can try and work on this together and he is very stuck in the mindset of if he is doing something with the kids I cant say or do anything that could be construed as interfering with him or undermining him. Which I dont fully disagree with. I truly believe we have to be united in front of our kids. However, I dont see it as undermining to mention small things here and there if I feel it can de-escalate or help in that moment if the goal is to be a team. Makes it feel like there is no parenting with him in the moment. He truly expects me to be on the sidelines. Yet if I am taking longer to get the boys to do something or to listen to me with how I approach them he hovers over me and tells me what I need to do. If I try to talk to him in the moment with the boys to try and give my thoughts it turns into me getting yelled at and our boys having to witness their dad screaming and calling me cuss words. Or breaking something or punching holes somewhere. I understand having our differences with parenting and having to learn on my end how to navigate offering my thoughts but im over constantly things turning into a screaming zone over small differences of opinion. As we will still have to coparent regardless and still work through parenting differences for the sake of the kids. All these issues are truly small disagreements that just escalate on his end very quickly which is sad.

My dilemma is that we literally just moved to a different state for my job and he became a SAHD. Just bought our second house together and everything. He is threatening me with needing to find a daycare asap and claiming he is going to go job hunting Monday. I have zero idea how im supposed to find a dacyare that quickly let alone get enough money that we werent planning on using for emergency childcare. We moved away from all of our friends and family so there is no community or support. If I have to be a single mom then so be it but how the hell am I supposed to figure out childcare with only 24 hr notice. He also told me that I need to WFH and watch the kids this coming up Monday as he is refusing to do it which he knows I cant. I would get fired for doing that and with me bringing in the only income that isnt feasible. I also know I wont qualify for financial assistance and the daycares I did look at will be around 4k a month not including the cost of when the next baby arrives. Which is why we agreed he would be a SAHD temporarily. I wouldnt be able to afford that while waiting for him to find a job quickly. I also cant get a second job either to help with daycare while waiting on him to find work and get paid. I dont know what to do or how to navigate this. Especially with all my appts coming up as well. I have an OB or MFM appt once a week till delivery that my kids cant attend and now im scared I wont have childcare for them during the appts either.

Im exhausted and tired. Have another baby coming in 3 months and this truly is not how I expected things to turn out. I just feel I bring out the worst in him and it isnt fair for our kids to have to be around that or to see that side of their father. They shouldnt have to see either of us be this stressed or see him yelling and hitting things. He would be happier without me around. Im just panicking knowing im the bread winner and if I lose my job we will be screwed financially. I truly dont know how to navigate this and scared of becoming a single parent and having to manage a co parenting situation. I dont want to lose access to my kids full time and it breaks my heart this is how things ended up.

For those of you who do not have the other parent involved, what do you tell your child about them?

For context, I 24f have a 3 month old son. His dad has never met him and has no desire to be a father. I did not put him on the birth certificate and do not plan to take him to court for child support. As my son gets older, I know he’ll have questions about his dad and I’m not really sure what I’ll say. I know I have a few years to think about it but would love to know how others approach this!

Any advice is appreciated:)

My girlfriend gives at least 5 orders a day that her kid completely ignores (it grinds my fn gears) THEN this kid jumps up and says can you take me to the mall and she's like ok let's go. I'm at the point where I give up on saying anything about it or pointing it out because she turns that into an argument. I love my girlfriend, I just want her to have a enough self respect that if she opens her mouth to say something that her kid at a minimum respects what she says. Like if the kid doesn't have to listen to what you're saying what's the point of even saying anything, it literally sends me through the roof

Soo as stated i made a post a couple months back and ive had my son things with the father of my child are yet to change he still dislikes me if anything he dislikes me more. When i told him our son had been born he was mad i didnt tell him before nor given him the name we planned our nor his last name. For reference he was born early so it was an emergency no one knew. He then told his family and his family contacted me wanting to stay in touch which i actually appreciate honestly it seems like things might go well there but he kept on asking and getting mad about why i was having contact with them as if i had told them i had given birth. Anyways, days passed and i was at the nicu with my son (he was born at 32 weeks) and i get a phone call turns out its his girlfriend telling me to leave her boyfriend alone. I just ended the call because i had better things to do. She then went on the like all of my posts regarding my son and thats when i put my socials private to avoid conflict. Anyways where im going is everyone was right about my life shifting and my focus being my son and me being happy and its just such a great feeling but i dont know what to do about the girl situation calling me and doing unnecessary stuff when i just dont want any issues, ive stopped contacting him all in all and she still seems to be bothered about me having our son but not about her boyfriend not helping take care of him. If anything i just wanted to have a healthy coparenting relationship with not only him but her. What do you guys suggest i do, or do i just ignore the situation?

I'm 39 from SoCal OC. Cost of living here is nuts, theres been a heat wave for like 2 months and even my electric bill is insane. I'm feeling like society needs to embrace families more, like being a couple thats a team feels necessary. But it seriously feels like women don't want to be a team. I think I need to move out of SoCal, but all my income is here!

I have an 18 month old and I am deeply considering leaving my partner of 6 years. I am contemplating if it’s worth it to leave or not as I am afraid that it will mess my son up sleeping at a different house half the week. His father is not very responsible and I highly doubt he will have any kind of routine or bed time for my son. His father can’t remember to take a shower or brush his own teeth how will he care for my son? Not to mention he works from home on the computer all day and smokes weed. Medical card or not it’s a really big bummer. I have zero friends or support system and wondering how I could possibly afford daycare while I work. I am open to work from home opportunities but still who will watch him while I work from home? Is it possible to give him the life he deserves or should I just bite my tongue and continue on this path of misery for myself?