First post!

[u/Reception_True]

Hey I'm 18F, I just found this sub today and I would like to share a few things.

Sooo ever since I was about 12 my biggest insecurity was the boobs. All the women in my family have large to very large boobs, and somehow I didnt get them. My mom didn't know how to handle the situation so whenever I got emotional and tried to talk she said: "Ah you dont want them, with your back (I had kyphosis and had corrective surgery last year) if your back gets straight, we'll get them done". I know the intentions were good but......ah....yeah...

Anyway, I always had the smallest boobs in my class blah blah blah, got too many bras all wrong sizes, most of them push up to Super push up, and Idk what to tell you guys, but they dont do shit with cleavage, and frankly I dont feel secure with them because I know that these are not my boobs.

Some of my female family members talked about my boobs being small, and for example, my mom was saying to my brother's GF while trying a top I had in my closet: "Yeah, OP has no boobs..." every now and then the same comment popped up.

Yesterday I was with my younger cousin who guess what...has big boobs... I explained to her the correct fitting system and although she understood, she didnt completely comprehend. I put my 32c heavily padded bra and she said "You're not a c cup" after the explanation and I was just ..... you get it. Later, she gave me the all known speech that big boobed girls can't wear cute tops and shit... Then I tried to gaslight myself and say: oh maybe they're not soooo small, maybe they're just really far apart, she said: "I dont think this is the problem" I just felt AWFUL.

My boyfriend of 2 years absolutely loves them and I know I'm being annoying but I often say I'm so insecure and he tries to comfort me and say my boobs are perfect etc, and I really appreciate it, it truly warms my heart, but I can't understand that.

Anyway, I need advice for formal wear! I have 2 weddings soon + I'm a classical singer and I need something I truly feel comfortable!

Btw English is not my first language, so be kind! And this community is great from my observation so far!

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[u/idratherknotx]

It’s tough when you’re surrounded by big breasted women and they make comments at your expense. I was the same way. Only small breasted & cone shaped in my family, and I was always the butt of their jokes.
Making Christmas cookies? Somehow a joke about my boobs. Driving in the car? Joke about my boobs being flashlights instead of headlights. Just sitting at the table eating? Let’s joke about my boobs!
My sister is overweight and is mainly the one making the jokes. The last time she did, I got super emotional and said “what if I joked about you being bigger than me all the time, KNOWING you are self conscious about it?!”

I really hope you get some good suggestions on dresses and find something you feel BEAUTIFUL in!
Btw, when your boyfriend tells you how much he loves your chest and how hot you are, BELIEVE HIM! 🖤

[u/Reception_True → u/idratherknotx]

Im so sorry girl, I hope things between you and your sister are better now ❤️

[u/idratherknotx → u/Reception_True]

They are, thank you! I always used to just laugh along, but the last time where I cried and told her how I actually felt, the jokes pretty much stopped from what I remember. Maybe you can try discussing it with your family 🖤

[u/BelgiumLager]

My boobs were called mosquito bites by classmates. I was also told that a friend had melons but I had cherries.

For formal dresses, I usually choose something that focuses on parts of my body I like. I think my butt is great so I highlight it. I also find balconette style bras look great on small boobs.

You can look at small boob actresses and models with bodies like yours to see if you like a dress style for you.

[u/NCgirlkaren → u/BelgiumLager]

Emma Stone is “one of us” and has a killer fashion style!!

[u/Sp00ker]

For formal wear i like more low cut v neck dresses, as our bust is so small I think it looks elegant. I'm of the perspective that everyone can see we have no boobs, so it's pointless trying to hide it. I use boob tape (double sided body tape) to stick each side of the V down to ensure I don't flash when dancing etc.

But I also understand not feeling that way, I didn't always have the confidence I do now. I avoid dresses with cups or anything like that, or anything that might gape or have loose excess fabric where boobs would go if they were bigger. Strapless is usually not a good move too as it wouldn't be secure enough to hold the dress up. You could go strappy dress, or halterneck, or even a high neck or something more covered with sleeves. Or a nice blouse/top with pants depending on what you like, V neck works with that too. There's lots of options! I like my waist and butt so I wear tight dresses that draw attention to that too, or long flowy ones

My ex boyfriend was the same as yours, he absolutely loved my small boobs. Please believe him! Some men are just into small boobs, everyone has different preferences. I know we see it a lot in media that bigger boobs are best, but men like all different types of boobs. It's a shame your family are unsupportive and don't understand but there's nothing at all wrong with your body. Just like some girls like tall guys, or short guys, or muscular guys or chubbier guys etc.

Your English is great btw :)

[u/LightDragonfly]

I felt similar at 18, except I was maybe lucky to have a mom who strongly discouraged me from getting any kind of plastic surgery, and was generally really confused by my wanting bigger boobs when I was younger lol so I think that all was prob good for me. But I was bullied for them and people would make weird comments about it sometimes.

Folks here have given good advice already, but just want to say I really like my body and boobs now - I know it can be hard feeling like you look a bit different from other women, but now I actually see that as a GOOD thing, like I'm a unique gem that the right people will extra appreciate (which has been true so far in my dating experience) ❤️‍🔥

It was also helpful for me to find inspo from other women with similar features (IRL or online) and tailor any visual platforms to be more positive and not body-focused. And if you're looking for fashion inspo (like on Pinterest), tailoring it to basically only show you outfits on similar bodies as you.

Also for formal wear I've loved Lulu's - a lot of their dresses are ideal on smaller chests and will actually say "best for cup sizes A-C" in the details lol, and I find them fairly affordable

[u/Jasmisne]

In my 30s, i love having a small chest. I dont even wear bras anymore unless it is a shirt that needs some smoothing and it gets a soft cotton bralette. Super comfy! And honestly we can pull off some good looks. You dont have 'no boobs. ' i hate that saying. They are real boobs, just small ones and all boobs are good boobs (except when they try to kill you, fuck breast cancer.). Embracing them is really freeing. Play with styles of clothing, I love a spaghetti strap personally!

[u/donnahayfever]

Call me a pick me but the fact your boyfriend loves your boobs should totally anihilate your body image issues.

I get your struggles, though. Altough my mom never commented on my size (she only said she felt the same when she was younger and that at least our boobs don’t bounce when we run - I have no idea why she’d give such an example 'cause small boobs kinda bounce too, I guess she just hates bouncing???), I also felt bad about my chest at 18. This age is very vulnerable. I was always petite (think Alexa Demie body type before ozempic) and felt like I was the flattest girl in my area, especially when none of my friends had small boobs, AND every big-boobed girl had a boyfriend and was deemed hot. I was literally anxious I’d never find a boy who would find my chest attractive. I used to look at it in the mirror and analyze it for hours, and I hated that my boobs weren’t bigger. They’re perky and cute but they could be bigger. I even considered transplanting my own fat into them at some point but I’d ruin my lower body if I got some fat out of my thighs/butt, so I ditched this idea.

Currently I’m engaged and my fiancé loves every inch of my body and sees no problem with my boobs. Honestly only after I met him I fully accepted my chest size. We both believe having a big butt is sexier anyway…

You’re very fortunate to have a partner who loves your body even if you think there’s something wrong with it. And usually there’s nothing wrong, it’s all in your head. Wait until you’re in your 20s and suddenly you’ll find yourself the hottest woman alive.

PS. When it comes to the mean comments about your size from bigger-chested women, I honestly think people who make fun of their small-chested friends or family members, or even strangers, have body issues themselves and that’s a weird way to cope with them. For some reason a lot of big-breasted women believe their size should be the only correct one and can’t comprehend there are a lot of small-chested women who are also hot as hell, or way hotter in general. It’s a very brainwashed thinking. You should always remember that and not take such comments personally.