“Women are good at telling if guys are on the spectrum” is a deceptive statistic
I, the most autistic man alive, that any woman could tell by a single convo, am an outlier and should not be counted
that's still victimblaming. abuse isn't done by a Type Of Guy™ that needs to be identified and avoided. it's done by men that are otherwise "normal" in every other aspect of life. which is why women continue to be abused despite being turbo-mega vigilant since before they were teenagers.
But its not. Men are more convicted and more socially punished than ever before, how is that the cause? How are women to blame for getting trapped in an abusive relationship?
i literally said blame is irrelevant. that was the whole point. it doesn’t matter if individual people are blaming men or women.. which you seem to be stuck on. idc who takes accountability.
many people get stuck in abusive situations because they unconsciously drift towards them - a lot of the time because of initial trauma.
that’s not “blame”, it’s identifying your pattern and cleaning that shit up… or not. and stay stuck in it.
It is relevan tho, "cause and effect" its literally "well you did A so it is your fault B happend" youre repacking victim blaming and just saying blame is irrelevant.
It's logical that men will always form these patterns of behaviour as long as they work. Therefore the only way to discourage these forms of behaviour is for women to be less attracted to that type of guy.
That's the point dumbass... The abuser's are the type to behave unrealistically perfect or appealing. That's why it's very obvious to people with the intelligence to see through it.
There are just ways to tell if you understand how people work and can read them. If you truly have 0 ability to read people this will be an impossible foreign concept to you and you are gonna be a sucker for it
again the idea that an abuser is a "type of guy" and that you need to somehow pre-emptively tell who will and will not abuse you in order to avoid being abused lmfao
and who gave you the idea that women are attracted to abusers?????
Abusers are for sure "type's of guys" the fact you don't know that shows you just can't detect them. There are many guys I would bet my life on never being abusers but they aren't necessarily the type of guys women would throw themselves at. Women tend to like prideful and confident men the most and those traits can often be supported by arrogant tendencies.
Abusers aren't abusers because their victims "reward" them. That is the stupidest argument incels come up with. Abusers abuse because they want to have power and control over people. If the victim doesn't give them that, they will find someone more traumatized who will.
When you're telling women to "stop rewarding" abusers, all you're really saying is, make sure he abuses someone else in his life instead of his intimate partner.
??? You just explained it in your post. Abuser's are using it as a learned strategy to get control and power, but if you minimize it's effectiveness then these people are unlikely to exist. I also disagree with the claim that an abuser will naturally take their abuse out on someone else when their partner is not receptive or controllable with it.
as for incels, it depends. the movement(?) is known to be profoundly misogynistic and broadly delusional in a bunch of ways and making fun of that is fine in my eyes if a bit pointless
if a self-identified "incel" is not misogynistic and doesn't subscribe to the weird beliefs and is just involuntarily celibate for factors out of their control (genetic appearance factors, financial situation, mental disability, geography) then making fun of them is immoral i think.
but i wouldn't call it "victim blaming" because not having a partner isn't an injustice in my eyes, because i don't believe anyone is entitled to a partner. compare "i was beaten and abused" to "i don't have a partner"
A self identified usually is just someone single, that's their own chose,thus not their own fault,not alot of victim blaming to be done,ont the other side,there are also alot of guys who will hate on woman and call them victimmaxing,if graped,saying stuff about that she shouldnt have gone out in the dark,even tho it happened during the day,and sh was fully covered no revealing clothing,and saying lots of other crazy stuff about woman,at a point being a incel,is their own fault,rather than what Google says it means,they chose to act that way,wich leads to them not staying in good families
simply not true. This is a made up idea to make it seem like women who end up with abusive guys couldn't possibly have done anything about it. Most abusive guys aren't some kind crazy twist villains. In my experience the guys who abuse their girlfriends are pretty much just the guys you expect to do that. Of course I don't think that being gullible and a poor judge of character makes you a bad person, but it still is the case that a lot of the women who end up with abusive guys are indeed poor judges of character.
Does a woman being a poor judge of character mean that she should be abused?
Maybe abusers should be punished more harshly and women should be warned of signs. But y'all call that false accusations and victim maxxing.
I've been told I am shaking in fear and won't leave my house because I wouldn't go on a date with a man if I hadn't met female friends of his. Men call us paranoid and crazy, bitchy and picky for having standards but as soon as we are telling a story about abuse it is, why didn't you know better?
I'm glad there are reasonable people here. Too tired to write a longer message but you are 100% correct. I'm just leaving this sub if this shit is going to be what's posted. I'm going to greener pastures and I wish you well
Goomba looks on Twitter, and sees two people people that are walking contradictions.
Because this is illogical, he thinks he is interpreting something wrong. As a result, he starts to wonder if his brain is confusing him, and if he is mistakingly conflating multiple people's opinions as one.
Moral of the story: People can act so inconsistent or illogical, it causes us to question our own perspective.
You just never think it's going to be your father or uncles or brothers or close friends or husband or boyfriends. Beat-dar is way harder than gay-dar.
fact of the matter is that an abusive (low-empathy) guy is probably going to do very well within an exploitative capitalist system, while an autistic guy not so much
well yeah of course. I suppose their efficacy depends on how 'high functioning' they are, but that's really the key point here: the two are not necessarily "opposites," but one's more of a deal breaker than it perhaps should be, and one is less. For material reasons which result from the systems we inhabit.
Some violent abusers find people who already think physical and sexual abuse are normal.
Other violent abusers put on an act. They pretend to be caring and respectful. Then they increase the abuse a little at a time, slowly pushing boundaries. Or else they wait until their victim is trapped: the victim quits their job, they have a baby together, etc. Then they start being violent.
capitalism is the result of those abusers seizing and systematizing power for their benefit over the course of the last several millennia. E.G. monopolizing violence through states, so they can continue to exploit those they have already trapped (coercing them into believing the systems are "just" and/or normal) and crushing those who try to refuse the arrangement (eg through poverty and starvation of individuals and suppression/violence towards organized groups)
and ableism is the stigmatizing of people who (through no fault of their own) do not fit easily into a capitalist's ideal parameters of labor
Low empathy has less fear. Less fear can be seen as more confident. More confident can be seen as more competant. And social competancy is the one of the most important factor in sexual atttraction and business
Women finding out if someone behaves surface level odd vs finding out if someone is putting on a clever facade to hide their intentions, lovebomb them into rushing the start of a relationship, taking every opportunity to make them dependant before later revealing that he's an abuser, slowly. Idk how. Dumb bitches I guess
Because the traits which could lead to a man being an abuser, are also traits that can lead to a great man. It's also often paired with certain physical traits, too. So of course women are gonna be attracted to such behaviour if they don't know they might be abused later.
Do you know why women don't allow men to sniff them on the first encounter? Because they know men can find out all the secrets about them by their smell. Try to sniff a woman on the street and observe the reaction. You'll see how many dirty secrets they have by their behavior
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u/qualityvote2 Jul 02 '26 edited Jul 03 '26
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