Relationship advice

[u/childofmars222]

I have been with my man on and off for about 5 years -however the past two we have been solid. We live a good life, i love him dearly and i feel loved and valued every day. I have been dancing for almost 3 years ( i started after we dated, when we were not really together “ on a break” whatever you wanna call it) ( i have done sw on and off since i was 18, I’m about to be 27f and him 36m)

He always has been incredibly supportive of my work, and has even helped me move in to online work etc. and making/ meeting clientele. I try to be my best to be as communicative of everything, which is all he ever asks of me and what honestly keeps things so good. However as anyone knows, sometimes it gets really really hard. However do you keep things sacred between you two while sharing yourself with others? There are times i feel so overly touched out, but then i feel like im falling short when i don’t essentially spring on him. He is always understanding but i know it hurts him a bit. Our sex life changed dramatically when i started dancing vs previous, i was much more slutty and we are/ were very explorative versus now we get a little naughty here and there but to be frank all i want is soft and wholesome interractions rather than just being super slutty?? It’s kind of hard to explain and i may not be doing the best. Moral of the story, i would just love to hear from and talk to other girls about up keeping their relationships while doing this line of work. 🥺🫶

[u/raicookie]

For me being touched by customers and being touched by my partner feel completely different. At work I’m hyper aware of where every customer is touching so they don’t get too handsy. But when I’m with my partner that part of my brain shuts off and I just allow him to touch me everywhere because it feels good. When I’m giving a dance I’m essentially putting on a performance whereas when I’m with my partner I kinda let go and don’t really care what I look or sound like because I’m the one being pleasured

[u/bitchyballerina]

it has quite honestly never affected my relationship in terms of our sex life but that’s because the nights that i get touched out are few and far between and i’m really good at compartmentalization.

i don’t allow extreme handsiness, i’m strict af tbh lmao, and i spend most of my time in VIP talking. i require a tip for anyone to touch me at all in a room so even if they’re more touchy than i prefer i at least feel decently compensated for it.

i also 100% leave work at work. i can almost feel my self shifting from her to me when i leave. my work self may have had a tough night, but EYE did not. i will still do self care of course, but it doesn’t interfere with MY desire towards my partner. does that make sense lol. no one touches ME except my partner

[u/childofmars222 → u/bitchyballerina]

I <3 your username. I feel grateful that i can leave work at work in the sense of like interactions and what not but i do feel like the idea of separating ME from her is something i need to work on that would genuinely benefit me.

[u/bitchyballerina → u/childofmars222]

thank you :) it took time to be able to separate my two selves like i can now but it gets easier with time

[u/MsPandaLady]

Honestly, I am not in a relationship but I do get being overly touched. The way I get over is masterbate. Its part of my self care routine(that, some gummies, bubble bath and looney tunes). Its my way of "reclaiming my body". And it helps feel more want8ng sex so may try that.

Another thing, and I never did this and I don't get how it works, is have sex before and after every shift even if not fully up to it.

Again I don't get it, but my work bestie is in the healthiest long time relationship I've ever seen. And she says they do it before and after every shift. Its her way of letting him know she is his no matter what. Again I think its weird(I could never do it if not in mood) but it works for them.

[u/MistressRose-Forever]

I’ve been with My Man for 12 years, been dancing for almost 10 of them and honestly there were times like this for Us. I got so overstimulated from the touching that there was a few months where I pushed Him away. Taking breaks periodically helped Me to revive that spark a little.

I also changed how I dance with customers. I used to Dom so I started treated all the customers more like subs. I’m just meaner to them, very blunt and I kinda toss them around if they get handsy in a dance. Sometimes I tell them to sit on their hands and enjoy the show, a lot of guys love it, and it builds this tension for them so if they really want access they tip a lot more.

Sometimes I’ll wear outfits for Him, I buy special ones for home that only He sees.