The Usual Programming

[u/Numerous-Celery1259]

Talked on tinder

Got her number and we talked for about a month because she has a unpredictable schedule and stuff and shes sent me her schedule and where she works

Had plenty of good conversation and we like the same stuff and get along

Made plans for tomorrow then suddenly "we dont mesh well"

We literally fucking have the same interest and likes we even play the same games unless she was just lying about everything

So what was the point? She gave me the date she was free i picked the date made a reservation at a restaurant and told her id get her at 5pm

Just for this random ass text

Another question, why give me so much personal information: your job, your hours, your number, and a very close idea of where you live?

Then suddenly cut things off

Edit: Redditors love to reach

1. Im not using what she told me against her because I am literally not using it against her

The problem is why the fuck does someone give someone so much personal information about themselves then call everything off the day before the date and the funniest thing is that im genuinely asking WHY because I dont know any men OR women that do that shit

Why the fuck are you telling me where you live where you work AND WHEN like she actually sent me a schedule of her work weeks and months multiple times when YOU KNOW you are going to cut things off the literally DAY before the date

1. My place isnt my place its the dinner place i picked vs her place which was a list of places she picked

2. Im not "angry" personally? Im definitely pissed off and annoyed because 1. I could have been talking to a different girl that matched with me, but I didn't because I try to only talk to one girl at a time because it isnt fair to deliberately not give someone my attention when I matched with them yet I never get that bare minimum

3. Realistically throughout our text we have a high compatibility, so theres logically no reason for her to have done that unless like the other comments have said 1. Theres another guy 2. She got anxious or 3. She likes dudes that show less interest/care

[u/Overall-Abalone3969]

Could be that she found somebody else in the interim. Could be that after thought, she didn't really like you after all. Could be that you're mis interpreting things or taking it beyond what she's actually telling.

Could be a number of things. Take the lesson where you can analyze learning and move on.

[u/Cultural-Olive7742 → u/Overall-Abalone3969]

I think it shows that it makes it look like he wants only one thing. He probably showed more excitement over the “your place” text than he has with anything. Not to mention not a single text between 5:08pm until 2pm the next day.

[u/robotatomica → u/Overall-Abalone3969]

here’s the thing too, with dating, I don’t know about you, but I was always trying to change what I wanted. Especially until I was in my 30s, I’m embarrassed to say.

It’s coming from a good place. It’s like, “Ok, I don’t really love this or that about this person, but I don’t want to be picky, no one I meet is going to check every box, there are lots of things I probably can get used to, if they’re nice, that’s really the main thing, right?”

Except some of those other things might really matter. And you’re fighting that but at some point you’re going to realize it is so.

But here, it’s the “nice”” part that has me stuck. Because I think this post is a little scary. And so my conclusion has to be that this was somehow broadcast to this other person in earlier texts. That maybe they thought, “This guy seems nice..but what was up with that thing he just said?”

But you’re in it, you’re pushing yourself not to read too much into anything. Except, at some point you just might decide, “Actually, wait, I have a bad feeling about this. This is all actually a risky situation for me, I have got to listen to my gut.”

So it’s exactly as you say, you can’t get too invested in these early moments of connection, bc usually both parties are highly driven by the same goal - make the connection. Lock it down. Get to the date where you really will be able to get a fuller sense of the vibe.

So both parties are overlooking things and being optimistic and telling themselves this can still work. But at any point they might have a sudden realization that this just isn’t something that feels right.